Been there done that

Mother of your child has proven to be not a good parent.

In Thailand it is stacked against you.

Follow the advices of some members; do not go back with the child to Thailand.

If you expect reciprocity on whatever level, it aint there.

Think only about your child.

1 hour ago, Rc2702 said:

Incorrect he had made a fair few remarks targeting the posters within this thread.

Ifso, only at you.

Stop smoking pot. Better for you.

1 hour ago, HooHaa said:

this thread is simply a catalogue of men who made poor choices in a mate or are unable or unwilling to stand up to family.

you made your beds. 

Who is for real and who is not for real. 

Easy to spot.

Dont get married.

The only reply missing, as of yet, ...run forrest run 

13 minutes ago, Tilacme said:

Why should Thainess be seen to tarnish a nation when the principle is highly applauded. 

 

Anyway I have not joined this thread to trade insults so I will politely give my goodbyes and let you get on with it.

Sensitivity, misinterpretation and walking away is a thai trait as well. 

Good on ya.

8 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

I still do not understand that word and I attribute it to people too lazy to explain stuff or to tar a whole nation

You must not be here long i guess by reading your comment. Life is full of generalizations. 

I will help you on the way, facesaving and totally lacking any responsability for actions taken. This for starters 

4 minutes ago, Tilacme said:

"Thainess" is never ever going to change so to live here you need to mix that into the soup.

Plenty of stories on here, and in real life, where the soup was served hot but became cold. After a while ofcourse. To adapt here and make living bearable (not thinking too much) plenty foreigners become selfish immoral people by keeping quiet on other foreigners misfortunes. Thus enabling the "culprits".Me, myself and I seems the best way for that lot. Despicable.

38 minutes ago, Tilacme said:

Yes I believe in Thailand, I am happy here.  Why else should I stay here?

I can understand one is happy residing here, me too, but i dont believe in the culture and society as a whole. 

Believe and being happy is not the same.

1 hour ago, Tilacme said:

I have been following this thread and reading with interest real life stories, many of which touch a nerve.

 

It is so good to hear these experiences and to have circumstances eloquently explained.  Too often we only get the 3rd hand tales of relationship disasters and those are usually someone who thinks it will never happen them and then they quietly slips way.  Well done those who have opened up and told it as it is, you know who you are.

 

Thailand law and society is geared against us farangs so we need to take such measures as we can to mitigate loss. I still believe in Thailand as my home and I love my Thai wife.

You still believe in "thailand", you wrote above. When all is geared against you, how in heavensname can you "believe" in thailand.

The mind truly boggles 

1 hour ago, rhodie said:

Ody, this is the thread of distinction and the only one worth reading.  And even though RC started it, it was you and TDL that have taken it to where it is. Hopefully it will bob and weave, but always be a sanctuary for everyone that needs to bounce ideas off a sympathetic audience. One of the few threads on here that seems to have kept sane and dignified. And one where hopefully the real stories will keep giving food for thought. I have enjoyed the journey so far.

Thanks to Rc2702!

The REAL stories hardly get any interest on this forum. 

The nonsense ones do.

I look for man understan me 

46 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

"All people are equal" is a European concept.

Asians think differently.

 

A Thai accepts to be "below" some, and feels "above" others.

We Europeans confuse them with our outlandish theories of equality.

 

As a result, if we treat our wifes as equals, they will think there is something wrong, and ultimately they will try to be dominant.

 

 

In which they succeed mostly, i guess.

12 hours ago, jeab1980 said:

So your twisted logic is there are thousands of women  double husband murderers living in Thailand just waiting for number three! Thats definitely something to ludicrous to debate well all exempt you of course. The ostrich syndrome as you call it is just to stupid for words. I suggest you really do get out i know it will be hard for you to leave TV alone but your mind is thourghly warped. So these thousands of husband killing women are all free as this is Thailand. Get a grip of yourself come on reality is knocking at your door. I could go on and on but i do actually pity you. As i belive you really belive the complete garbage  you are spouting.

PS just asked the mrs if she was a double murderer and showed her your post when she stops laughing ill ask her again.

I nearly choked in my sandwich by reading your stupid comments on here. How bizarre can it get.

27 minutes ago, totally thaied up said:

I am just wiping the blood out of my mind. Just watched a Thai guy get smashed to pieces in front of me on his motorcycle. Not a chance of survival at the speed he was travelling past me.

 

I am seeing a Thai Psychiatrist; he has 25 years of experience in America and came from in fact from the finest Medical School know to man. He has both the Thai side and farang side sorted out very well.  His English is just like mine. To top this off, I have Skype sessions in Australia twice monthly to close friend who went to my school with me and is a psychologist. 

 

It is the social level and the raising of the affluence that I do not understand and frankly, I hate it. I am low-so and admit it. Still, everyone around me see's it so different. My current wife knows what I am worth and the funny part is, with all her lands and the such, the family are much more wealthy than me. Still, because she married a farang, people in the village who never spoke to her are sucking up her arse in such blindly obvious ways, and God love her, she is not taking it. Then the farang/Thai social factor in our area because I am not a drinker, interested in socialising and spending up large, just white-washed me from the whole scene of things. My wife and I are just too low-so and boy, are we reminded of it.

 

My wife's family is very old now. Most of the village has respected them and do not ask me for much.  Her brother, God bless his works like a trooper. This time I have been lucky, but I do understand one thing. I never will understand the blood line and the 'Ktay yu' (gratefulness) toward the family and at moments notice if the wife is called to something by them, she will be given a choice from me.

 

It has not happened yet, but I hope and I mean, I REALLY hope if that time comes, that she has the rational to listen to me first as her husband and take on board what I have to say or do and then look to the family. I am well past the stage of 'taking the piss from the farang'. To date that has not happened but in my previous relation it did.

 

I hope that clears some things up. We are all a complicated mob. We make mistakes. We are human, but one thing we can do is learn.

 

I had this happen in my previous relationship. The young brother of 12 years old took my old bike 40km into town. On the way home, he had an accident on a driveway. I was not home, but he got cut up real bad. No helmet. I found out, and we drove out to our home. My old bike was bashed up. He was in bandages. Everyone just was glad he was alive but did not give a flying ***** he drove an 80km round trip. I took the keys to the bike and said, no one at home now had access to the motorcycle.

 

Boy for the next three months while I kept the keys, I was the biggest a8hole the world had ever seen in the family. After he healed, my partner went out home and gave him a beating he would never forget. Just double standards.

 

I cannot understand anything. I was the a8hole, and my partner was the head honcho and the saint.

I do. You are only farang. Even you must understand that.

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Seems like the good people of Salt Lake City are suckers for a sob story, given the amount of money he has in the case.

I used to be a romantic, and then I got married- silly me.

Projection is never far off.

I would never trust you.

12 hours ago, Suradit69 said:

 

That's true. All the farang education systems teach the legislative rationale behind laws concerning the disposal of corpses.

 

Let's assume your childish comment doesn't sum up farang education.

Am not from US of A 

16 minutes ago, georgemandm said:

So what is the big deal about my English and grammar, did not make me a  Multi millionaire , that my English is not up to your so called  standards .

you see people like you  criticise people because they not that good at English.

Are you a better person then me ? , because you think you are better at English then me ? , know you are not we all end up in the same place dead .

 

It would be nice though to comprehend your posts a little easier.

Try to make an effort, please.

2 hours ago, smotherb said:

I think you have to have an understanding with any woman, and the agreement ought to be, "I'll give your family exactly as much money as they give my family," nothing could be more fair than that.

The divorcerate in LOS would skyrocket.

2 hours ago, transam said:

I live my life from day to day, if I spent my life worrying about what "may" happen that wouldn't be much of a life...

Thought Thaivisa was your life 

1 hour ago, starky said:

Yeah and what about the fathers up in Isaan who try to do the right thing and work away 8-10 months a year? Every prick here is doing their best ya goose. Its easy to come from a developed nation on a big quid and point fingers at the poor and unfortunate isnt it muppet?

   

 

 Mai pen rai!

Greed, freedom and excitement, thats the reason why she worked in that bar. But she is a good mum. Time for you to see it how it really is. Muppet ? Only a bully like you starts to swear when they read something they not like. Not so stark, Starky.

7 minutes ago, Thaidream said:

It appears lots of people have experienced the bar girl scene and appear to know lots about them. I very seldom go to the places anymore. Frankly, tired of all the nonsense they spout and the same stuff over and over again.  I have almost 5 decades visiting these places and have talked to hundreds in both Thai and English. Most do not like the job . Most do not like sex. Most drink because they have to. Some are alcoholics and addicts. Some are mentally ill. Whether they were addicts or alcoholics prior to entering the trade is unclear but certainly the trade is not helping them recover.

 

Remember that Thais are very clever at acting and hiding their true feelings. If you know them well and become friendly over a period of time- you will see the real person behind the smile or scowl. I know a few of the girls who have been successful and became owners of the bars. They don't like men at all- are hardened and disgusted with life and generally could care less about much of anything.

 

Many of the women going into the trade are fooled into believing they will get 'rich' or find that one punter who will take care of them and take them to another country.  It does happen to some and I have seen many come back to Thailand disillusioned and back in the business.

These girls would be much better off getting educated; getting a stable job paying a living Thai wage and staying in Thailand.  As Thailand becomes more industrialized and opportunities increase less and less girls will enter the trade and many of the GoGos and other  'girlie' bars will disappear.

 

 

Your last paragraph, it will not happen quickly as peerpressure will not allow it and the cultural mindset needs a huge overhaul. I met a 40 yr old woman in a beerbar a while ago who stounded me by saying that she is a good mum for her 15 yr old son, who lives with her parents. No dad in the picture. I just shook my head. Another kid who sees his mother 3 times a year. 

Mai pen rai !

29 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

Forgive me PJACK but if these responsibilities are really your primary concerns then what the heck have you been doing gallavanting round thailand with a woman who you felt showed you no respect whilst on a minibus journey to pattaya?

 

Sounds like the mom has reared the child pretty well in your absence so maybe you should be more concerned about your own behaviour.

Based on what OP has posted, I have read nothing that "the mom" is rearing the child well. 

Sober or stoned ? Again.