Nongwahyay

Many thanks to all for the link and info....... I´ll get the wife to start printing now, in time for our upcoming holiday.....

Can anyone tell me how much money in cash one is allowed to bring to Thailand??? There is a limit, which is announced on the plane before landing, but I can´t remember it. If I have a higher sum and declare it, do I have to explain its whereabouts, if I leave with considerably less???

Yawn............................

My wife (from Nongbualamphu) and I are planning to move/retire from Berlin to Thailand..... having considered Isaan and Chiang Mai, we are now seriously looking at the area between Chonburi and Rayong. I know that´s a large area, but I would be very grateful for any suggestions from knowledgable TV members on which places they would recommend (or advise against....) moving to in this area. We are not interested in bars or explicit tourist places - looking more for a quiet area and a moderately-priced house to rent - but not too far from the action, when the need calls!!!!!!!! We will be in Thailand for 3 weeks from the middle of November. Many thanks in advance......

I used to play for the school team as wicket keeper..............ooh...no more than 40 years ago.... so when you get round to scraping the bottom of the barrel you can count me in...... perhaps as silly mid-off, as well....

unforchanatly

you could do an English course.

Good one!!!!! What might that be in thai, I wonder.......

15yrs??? Now if thats not taking the piss - I dont what is.

On the Other hand, it does suggest that in the last 15 years this "citizen" has not had any brushes with the law and has gone about their business, spending their money in Thailand and helping the economy along quite nicely...no?

He was actually a bit of a naughty lad - having relieved a number of people, including myself, of money (of which I got mine back eventually....) - and it was more a matter of keeping his head well down, avoiding those who were looking for him, rather than supporting the economy!!!! He was actually involved in a nasty accident 2 years ago and was taken to hospital in BKK - but he always seems to have known the "right" people and greased the right palms to keep himself out of jail. For those in doubt, he really was 15 years in Thailand without a permit. He went to a lawyer to sort things out for him, gladly paying the lawyer´s fee, rather than taking the chance of being picked up at the airport and subjected to Buddha knows what by the authorities!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those who are interested, I spoke with my acquaintance today. He and his family departed Bangkok without any hitches at all and are now in Hamburg. He got the help of a thai lawyer and an official from immigration and sorted out the problem weeks in advance. It cost him 70.000 Baht in all and he did not have to report to immigration at the airport. It had already been cleared. They are staying in Germany until the end of the month and he is currently applying for a one-year residence permit/visa for Thailand.

Incidentally he spent a total of 15 years (uninterrupted!!!!) without a visa in Thailand. Not bad going!!!! I´ll get a breakdown of the "costs" from him in 10 days time when he comes to Berlin.

I have a dubious acquaintance, a German national, who has been overstay in Thailand for over 10 years now. His passport and his German ID have also long since expired. He eventually plucked up the courage to go the the Germany embassy in BKK a couple of months ago, who were most helpful in providing him with a new passport. He - together with his thai wife and child - are booked to fly to Germany on 29th September. He is currently shxxtting bricks, worrying about what will happen to him at immigration, when they arrive at the airport - how much will he have to pay? - will he blacklisted for a year, will he blacklisted for ever?... will he be thrown into jail?... (no response expected from you guys - this is what he´s asking himself...) ... he is really shxxxtting bricks!!!! I´ll let you all know what happens to him if...and when... he reaches Germany!!!!!

He has a nice NEW German passport..Good.

He has to do a runner to the Airport and probably the best that he can hope for is to avoid police and get there undiscovered and that he will simply be stopped and fined Bt 20,000 plus a tic donation to immi christmas ball. (or go straight to Jail and forget the Holiday)...

Assuming Luft-thansa or whoever actually let him board he could be detained in Germany ...passport might be emergency only and he may have to prove that he actually is who he says he is.....sounds simple but he has been "missing" for 10 years and you said No I.D. ...they might suspect that he has been up to something "dodgy"

He is travelling with his wife and kid...yes..has he thought of what could happen to them...

Assume they have Visitors Visas in their Passports from the German Embassy...

how did they get them?....is he their sponsor (after going bye bye for 10 years).....

If he is Blacklisted etc..........its aint worth thinking about.......

Suggest he makes the Run Con Deo...ie on his own and hopefully.....

Honestly wish him best of luck but..................

He and his family planned to fly to Munich 2 days ago to experience the "Oktoberfest" (beer festival). I haven´t yet heard from him yet (well.... they may just be having a great time.....!!!!) so can´t say whether they made it or not - however they are supposed to be coming to Berlin from 13th to 17th October to stay with us............. so I will get back to you all with further info - one way or the other!!!!!!

Actually, I´ve heard the chances of catching aids whilst cutting one´s finger on a rusty tin are increased enormously - especially if you´re either homosexual or bisexual.......... and if you´re neither, the chances of becoming either one of them are also increased - so........... invest in an electric can opener...............

Do you represent an electric can opener company?

You can't get AIDS from dead blood. ..... you can't even get a good DNA sample from that.

Jeeez ... the power of the internet..... scary

Come on, Thaddeus.......... it was supposed to be a joke!!!!!! Some people are gullible........... Jeeeeez.............

Actually, I´ve heard the chances of catching aids whilst cutting one´s finger on a rusty tin are increased enormously - especially if you´re either homosexual or bisexual.......... and if you´re neither, the chances of becoming either one of them are also increased - so........... invest in an electric can opener...............

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms

Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.

Jimmy Carr

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

Chris Addison at the Pleasance

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.

Patrick Monahan at the Gilded Balloon

My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child... well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night. Susan Murray at the Underbelly

Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks? Adam Bloom at the Pleasance

You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't listening... Self-raising?" Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".

Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the Tron

Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax. Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. Demetri Martin at the Assembly Rooms

A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please". The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join the circus?" The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber".

Steven Alan Green at C34

Hey - you want to feel really handsome? Go shopping at Asda.

Brendon Burns at the Pleasance

It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake Chris Addison at the Pleasance

I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not very good at it. Arnold Brown at The Stand

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that. Milton Jones at the Underbelly

I have a dubious acquaintance, a German national, who has been overstay in Thailand for over 10 years now. His passport and his German ID have also long since expired. He eventually plucked up the courage to go the the Germany embassy in BKK a couple of months ago, who were most helpful in providing him with a new passport. He - together with his thai wife and child - are booked to fly to Germany on 29th September. He is currently shxxtting bricks, worrying about what will happen to him at immigration, when they arrive at the airport - how much will he have to pay? - will he blacklisted for a year, will he blacklisted for ever?... will he be thrown into jail?... (no response expected from you guys - this is what he´s asking himself...) ... he is really shxxxtting bricks!!!! I´ll let you all know what happens to him if...and when... he reaches Germany!!!!!

I reckon the OP has made it up - just to get the hot-tempered Farangs amongst us worked up .... and he has succeeded in several cases......

Of course the idea is nonsensical and not worth more than a glance...................

At least the German went out with a bang.......

A friend of mine told me about Kamagra, which one of his friends brings back with him from his many trips to Thailand, about a year ago. (He pays 600 Baht for 4 - it´s apparently availabe only at very few chemists). Although - at the age of 53 - I still don´t need it at all, I decided to try it out, just to see the effect.............. it was amazing!!!! After about 20 minutes I felt a warm glow flow through the whole of my body. My member became as rigid as a steel bolt, felt twice as thick as normal.... and stayed that way until my wife and I "finished" after about one hour......... but even then it didn´t soften............ and a repeat performance the following morning was just as successful!!!! One drawback, however, is that it gives you a headache - so............ I tried using half a tablet. The effects were almost equally as good ......... but without the headache. I still have a few left... and just slip in half or even a third of a tablet now and again for "special occasions"!!!!! On one occasion, however, I must confirm that the effect was zero............or should I say, the "extra effect"..... it didn´t stop me from having a good time though.........

As for them making you go blind........... I thought that was too much use of the hand????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ITR,

I never posted the 'joke'. But I do believe in Freedom of Speech. I don't like lots of things I hear or read everyday but I do not try to force my opinions on others, especially on an open web forum !

Freedom of speech is a fine thing - but in the right place and at the right time!!!!!! It never ceases to amaze - and disgust - me, that no matter what tragic event may have occurred, there are always clever dicks, who can´t wait to be the first one in to show how witty and sharp-witted they are with a sick comment. Showing a bit or respect (by, for example, keeping the proverbial gob shut...) is also as important as the often over-used claim for freedom of speech..................

(The "Monks" are Roman Catholic monks)

"A new young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscript is held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him.

He sees him banging his head against the wall, and wailing "We forgot the "R", We forgot the "R" His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.

The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word is celebrate." "The word is c e l e b R a t e."

The word is "celibate", dumbo........

BKK life is expensive; my rent alone is 60K + 5K uts + 20K food + 10K beer lao + 5K bar + 5K visa run and travel expense averaged out + 20K misc. so that's 125K i spend every month with no vehicular or local transport expense figured or health insurance, emergency money, travel back home. This is for myself and gf. I'd never make it on 60K, it would be like being homeless. I barely make it on 125K. A friend of mine here in BKK pisses away 60K a month btw Starbucks, dinner and bar easy

What a load of drivel.........

It is also absurd to never touch your capital unless you are living your life to pass your fortune on the someone else. The goal is to live well without running out of money, not to die with a huge pot of unspent money.

I agree totally!!!!!!! If you can manage on interest alone. so much the better....if not, just make sure you don´t run out of it totally before your life expires...........

How can you make this statement when the poster (Nongwahyay) didn't state how much capital he has? Let's assume his capital generates (at 5%) $50,000 USD per year (spendable after taxes). My bet is he can still live pretty well in Thailand 10 years from now on $50,000 per year.......not to mention all the extra dosh he has from the yearly savings (+ interest) generated from his excess cash each month. Assuming 2% inflation per year in Thailand for the next 20 years his $50,000 will now look like $30,000......still more than enough to live comfortably AND as I said before NOT EVEN COUNTING THE EXTRA DOSH + INTEREST earned along the way. So now he's early 70's in age; still has his capital plus all the extra dosh acquired over 20 years so it's a sizable amount. In 5 more years he's (if still alive) late 70's and his buying power cut in half; still enough to pay the bills but with no spare cash. HOWEVER, he has not even TOUCHED any of the extra dosh generated over 25 years! At this point he would roughly be 95 before the original capital starts to get eaten.........he's not a turtle.

I personally am not taking this approach.....but with the right starting capital and age it can easily work.

Hear hear!!!!!! My sentiments exactly!! As I did say, we have various policies which reach maturity over the next 10 years. These will be put one by one into our boring old bank account and will generate enough interest - despite inflation - to allow us to live off the interest for decades to come.......and as I unfortunately can´t take it with me , there´ll be plenty left over to provide for my wife - if she outlives me - and her family.

I also keep on reading that those in their 30s and 40s should take greater risks with their investments, as they can make 10% or more............ but what is the point, when the risk of losing a lot of it - which is also pointed out - is relatively great...............?????? You´ll not only possibly lose the capital which you are depending on to live from in Thailand.... but, as we all know, you´ll lose an awful lot of sleep as well!!!!!! 5% in the hand are better than 10% down the drain................... You´ll need an enormous interest rate to make up for a 50% loss of your capital if (when) the markets take a steep dive again....... Those who have the knowledge and time to invest wisely in risky ventures may well come out on top at the end... but those who have less to lose and are not able to keep an eye on their investments may well never be able to realize their dream of retiring to Thailand.............or anywhere else!!!!!!

At the age of 53 I´m also seriously planning to move to Thailand with my TW in 3 years time (from Belin, where I`ve lived as a Brit for the past 30 years). I let myself be caught up in the stocks and shares euphoria a few years ago, have invested here and there, and basically just lost a lot of money, not to mention a lot of sleep!!!!!! I´ve read with interest all the advice given here on spreading your risks, hedging your bets and all the rest - but shall certainly be ignoring it all and leaving my money in a boring old bank account, earning a risk-free, tax-free (as an overseas resident) 5,25 percent with the HSBC in the UK (although we do have various policies which will mature a few years later).

As regards the advice given in various other quarters here, regarding keeping your monthly costs down by - for example - buying your own home in Thailand (thus excluding future rental payments) I shall also ignore this.............................and leave the 2- 2,5 million Baht needed for a house in British sterling in our HSBC account, earning the equivalent of 8,5-11 thousand Baht per month. We will then rent a house for between 10 and 15 thousand Baht, laugh at the small difference we have to pay....... and if the neighbours or dogs in the street get on our nerves, hand in our notice and move elsewhere!!! Try doing that when you´ve just invested 2,5 million Baht in a house.... how quickly will you be able to sell???? And how much will you lose on the deal????

Far be it from me to give anyone advice........ but I bet I´ll sleep better then many an investor here.............

Go Crack A Nongwahyay!!

I like it!!!!!!

I´ve often asked myself this question, as well - the number of people here, who don´t know the difference between "their" and "there" ..........or who write "your" when they mean "you´re"..... or who have no idea how to uses apostrophes........... I just can´t help myself asking....What school did they all went at???

On two of our 2-yearly trips to Isaan from our home in Berlin I experienced what I thought an awful experience, whích the locals, however, relish and get quite excited about............... a huge screen was set up at the edge of the road in the village (Nong Wah Yai, near Nongbualamphu) surrounded by the biggest speakers I have ever seen. By 8 or 9 pm the locals had gathered to watch an all-night showing of films, accompanied by food stalls etc. I stood at least 40 yards back from the speakers and felt as though I was being almost knocked off my feet by the incredible volume being blasted out of the speakers. The sound was totally distorted and at such a level that even at that distance I wouldn´t have been able to understand a word said by anyone next to me. How those sitting in front of the speakers survived the night (it went on the the early hours of the morning) I just do not know!!!! The noise was so loud that even in bed, wearing ear-plugs, at a distance of at least 300 yards, there was no way I could get to sleep.

2 years later, on another visit to the in-laws, we were "fortunate" enough to witness a repeat performance - this time, however, the road through the village was closed off at 8pm and the screen set up spanning the road, right next to our house. One column of speakers was set up in in our front garden, no more than 3 yards from our bedroom!!!! Remembering that the performance goes on till around 3 in the morning, I told my wife that there was no way I was going to spend the night there and she made arrangements for us to spend the night at her brother´s house in the next village. I gave my nephews and nieces ear plugs that I always have with me in Thailand (flor reasons which you readers will understand.....) and wished them the best of luck - as they all had to go to school the next morning.

Have any other readers experienced this "entertainment"?????? The children went to school the next day (no, they didn´t sleep a wink, either...) and the locals went into the fields.......... and a good time was had by all........................