Weho

I can sympathize with your plight. OK, it's not as serious as people in Darfur trying to get something to eat, but clearly it is troubling you enough to post something about it on this message board.

First, I would like to apologize, on behalf of all Pattaya bar-owners, that we have no "cool" bars here, and we have a lot of 85 year old Germans here that like to dance to uncool music.

I would suggest you go to Tukcom, on the 4th floor, and buy some cheap cd's labeled "TRANCE" music. Then make up your own cd of like 20 songs, make copies, and hand it out to all the uncool bars, and tell them that this is what they should be playing. Tell them they've got it all wrong, and they are clueless about what music is really "cool", and you know, cause you've been to (Koh) Samui.

I suppose the other thing you could do is try to get yourself hired as some sort of a "consultant" by bars here, telling them that YOU know what the old Germans want to listen and dance to, and you could then advise them about the latest "TRANCE" music. Personally, I'm a big fan of the Jonas Brothers... see if you can get someone to play that, and I'll go for a brewski.

Going by your subject title, I thought this thread was someone wanting to hire a Coach product, like a leather handbag... then I thought maybe you wanted to hire a coach, like a stagecoach, with some horses, for something like a movie prop... was I ever wrong...

You mention Chayaphum... but I've never heard of that, and I suspect most people here haven't either. I've heard of Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket, and vaguely Chang Mai... so I really don't know if that place is 10 minutes away, 10 hours away, or 10 days travel away. Regardless, I'm going to take a wild guess and presume it's a few hours away.

I would suggest you hire some Baht busses, and pile everyone in the back. If the people are small, you may even be able to cram all 21 people into just one baht bus... I've seen it done on Sukumvit.

Now if you want to rent a BUS (let's try to be clear), I would suggest you go to the bus station for Bangkok bound buses, on Naklua road, and ask them. You might also flag down one of those tourist buses, filled with either Koreans (south), or Chinese or Taiwanese, and if the driver isn't too drunk or sleeping, he/she might be able to tell you.

If you ever need to rent a Coach handbag, I know someone that rents them out but they are on vacation in Kanthbaliburi Ladsek for the next 3 months.

Good luck on your wedding, may you live together in wedded bliss for a hundred years, or at least as long as both of you think it's a good idea to stay together.

I'll give you a tip: buy low, and sell high...

My tipping policy:

Bad service: 0 tip

Reasonable/expected service: 10%

Better than expected service: 20%

BTW, (i love using those infonet abbreviations), if the service is poor/bad, and they have ALREADY tacked on the 10% service charge, I DO NOT HESITATE to go to the manger, and have them REMOVE that charge from the bill.

I suspect most of you little lambs out there, all the little angels out there would be SHOCKED that someone would do that, but I do it proudly... most recently at FUJI, at Big C on Sukumvit.

I would also like to take this opportunity to post my tipping policy for motorcycle taxis:

I always confirm the exact fare in advance, and I know EXACTLY what the fare should be. If they quote the fair fare, what Thais pay, they get a 20 baht tip. Anything else, they get NO TIP. I would say about 1/3 of the time, they get the 20 baht tip.... and 2/3 of the time, I get to walk away, and say in disgust, under my breath, "if you asked the correct price from the start, you would have been 20 baht richer..." Then I walk away, shaking my head from side to side.

Wine from Thailand you can drink

Well, I think the stuff was originally made to run in your motorcycle... but you could get brain damage from it. But it's like one of the products, that can really double as another product... like some of those mayonaisey "salads" from the Sizzler, that the Thai government uses as super powerful adhesives in the military. I think to repair cracks in hulls of their aircraft carriers, sometimes stationed in nearby Sattahip harbor.

BTW, did you know that many motorcycle repair dudes in the Pattaya area have also attended Somalier schools? Go figure.

And is there a way this topic can be rated more like six stars? Five doesn't seem like it's enough. It just ain't right.

I drank a bottle of that stuff and now I am brain damaged. If you don't believe me, just read my posts. My lawyers are seeking you out. You can run but you can't hide.

I'm sorry you had that problem... some of the white wine can almost taste like gasoline... honestly, if you don't like it, just put it in your gas tank, and your motorcycle/car should run just fine on it.

As an alternative, some of the guys carry a white Zinfandel, still only 20 baht for the 91 proof.

Hope your brain damage goes away.

I've seen all these motorcycle repair shops selling this home made wine, all over Pattaya... always the same home made "brand", 91 and 95...

They usually sell a red wine Rose, and a better white "Sauvignon blanc". Honestly, the red one, even chilled, was pretty bad. The white one, however, wasn't bad... and I think it would make a great cooking wine too, for a white cream sauce, to go with some fishes, or some chicken dishes... maybe even veal, but that's not real "politically correct" these days.

Remember, consume in moderation. Any "teetotalers" here?

I would walk a mile for a camel or to meet Weho.

Unfortunately I cannot fly 4,000 miles to do the deed.

Why not just post your picture and I can die a happy man.

PM me if you're shy.

Maybe it's better if you just use your imagination... i might disappoint you...

And 4,000 miles away... do you live in Irian Jaya? I heard they have cannibals there... in the Philippines too... freaky stuff...

then again, maybe you live in North Korea... or the Maldives... do you live on an atoll?

OHMIGOSH! Weho is back and bullshitting again...

Yes, I'm back... (temporairily)... and look who took the bait to respond!!! Thanks for the attention... I LOVE IT!!

Wow, that was really clever... you really put me in my place... why not let other people decide for themself what they want to read and/or reply to... as long as I'm not off topic, or threatening, which I'm not, I don't see the problem... I wish I had the time or inclination to look up some of your posts to see what I'm doing wrong... you should be the barometer of exciting posts... you should be the judge.

The point of this thread is that there are ugly, unattractive people here in Pattaya, probably tourists... that doesn't mean they don't deserve appreciation and respect for being here, it's just an observation... like you've observed that you think I'm a "troll"... why don't you start your own thread about how awful I am... this one is about ugly people.... if that's of no interested to you, and I don't claim everyone should be interested in this, they i would suggest you find something more interesting to you... I see someone is now asking about accomodation on Koh Larn... maybe you can help them out...

I have given this much thought in the past. There are really only two things I need to do to fulfill my lifetime ambitions.

1. Get a dump truck or cement truck and drive down Beach Road, running over every rental motorcycle I can find that is taking up parking space. Soi Post Office and Soi Pattayaland could be interesting as well.

2. Meet Weho.

I am planning on attending the THAI VISA party, I think this Saturday, right??? So you just might be able to fulfill at least one of your ambitions... that's not so bad...

And your anger is mis-directed at rental motorcycle parkers... your anger should be toward city officials that PERMIT such a thing to happen... you should lobby the city to FINE anyone parking illegally, (maybe they are parked legally...), and the city should IMMEDIATELY impound the bikes... and some racket could be set up with some towing/impound company, no doubt owned at least in part, by the police, who would get say 1,000 baht of the 4,000 baht fine... that ought to put a stop to it.

And truthfully, I think at this point, it's a lost cause... you should presume that it's MOTORCYCLE PARKING ONLY, and if you have some big gas-guzzling, terrorist-friendly S.U.V., you shouldn't expect large spaces will be waiting for you... you've got the gas-guzzler, now you start paying... paying for parking, like at the Royal Garden lot... and they should charge TRIPLE for large cars. I can only imagine the size of your car...

You still want to meet me?

wow, married with 3 kids & having nice foreign holidays as a family, seems like they have a nice sucessful life, even if they are uggers. Sounds like the op has a touch of the green eyed moster to me.

Actually, we shouldn't really assume they were married, or they were their kids, or that they were foreign, or that they were even on holiday here, "as a family"... those are all speculations... but the one thing that was FACT, was that they were fugly. As fugly as can be. Let's put it this way: the family won't be modeling for the 2008 Abercrombie & Fitch campaign...

I don't know anything about any green eyed monster, but I can tell you stories about my one-eyed gila monster...

Weho,

Good to see you back and in good form. It was not so much fun in the Pattaya forum without you.

More please!

You'll get fed up with me... they always do...

So weho what do you look like?

Short, tall, finely tuned, chunky, muscles from Brussells, hair/no hair, fat?

Who would you like to look like?

Sorry I know of topic but you did beg the question!

So please begsaresponse.......

When I walk around sois in Pattaya, that have hookers on the soi, I seem to get cat calls of "you sexy!" from all genders, non-gendered people, trans-genders, etc... I don't know how sincere they are, but they seem to like me...

I'm supposed to be at the upcoming THAI VISA PARTY, i think this Saturday??? So you can get all your questions answered there...

OHMIGOSH! Weho is back and bullshitting again...

Yes, I'm back... (temporairily)... and look who took the bait to respond!!! Thanks for the attention... I LOVE IT!!

Weho, next time you're in the states, you should spend a day at Disneyland or Universal studios, and take your camera. Should be lots of material there for this thread.

I have seen the "Wide loads" in those amusement parks... I don't go for the rides, I go to see the freaks... But I can assure you, Europe is getting there too, and China is ALREADY there... now that everyone is eating McDonald's, and other fast food, the whole world is getting bigger... I have nothing against Micky D's... they don't force anyone at gunpoint to eat their food... but people are getting bigger... but BIGGER DOESN'T MEAN UGLY... People can be overweight, even grossly overweight, yet still make an effort to look attractive... I'm just saying these people at the RGP had it all: overweight and just genetic uglyness.

I know lots of overweight people that aren't even remotely "fugly"... FUGLY is a different animal... one that sometimes should be "put down"...

I'm not the best or worst looking person in the world... but yesterday, while at the Royal Garden, around 6 PM, I saw the ugliest family I had ever seen IN MY LIFE... anywhere... looked like two parents, mid 40's, and 3 kids, about 7, 12 and 19... just brutal... all of them... I'm guessing they were from south eastern europe, maybe a bit north, maybe a bit east of there... I wish I had my camera to document it, but I didn't... they were dressed like average tourists, but they were all overweight, and just had ugly faces... just brutal... Brutal... no other word describes them so accurately.

The mother was the fugliest of them all, it looked as if she was trying to make an ugly face, but that was just her natural facial expression. The father had these big, thick thunder-thighs, cut off shorts, real hairy legs, and of course a few tattoos. I felt kind of bad for them, as some people are just born big, and ugly, and there's not much they can do about it. To have to go around life, looking like that, is kind of sad.

=gon

And the kids were all ugly too, even the little one... not the kind of child anyone would ever approach and say, "how adorable!" It just won't happen to them. And I'll be they were nice people, just having a little fun on vacation, not hurting anyone... I appreciate all tourists who choose to come to our lovely town by the sea... but these folks ain't a-gonna make it onto any brochure enticing people to go anywhere.

Again, I'm not claiming to be the most attractive person in the world, and admittedly, someone may find me fuglier than I found this family, but, in general, I think I'm right about these people. If you see them around town in the next few days, that would be great if you could snap a picture, and email it to me, via this website.

But imagine how horrible it must be to know that wherever they go as a family, whoever they come in contact with simply HAS to think to themself, "gosh, these people are fugly..." I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm just saying that's the way I see it.

And it wasn't that their skin looked really bad or sickly... not that at all... it was just that they were so fugly... all of them... I wonder if the parents ever though to each other, "I'm ugly, you're ugly, should we really even have children, cause lord knows, they ain't a-gonna be movie stars..."

I'm going back to the Royal garden tonight, to see if they will be there again... I'm really fascinated by these people... and I think the older kid was the ugliest of them all... Yech! Bad faces, bad hair, bad everything....

I'm so glad I can pass judgment on people I don't know, on this anonymous website.

You made my day Weho....

You're too kind... it's unforunate that some people think THEIR idea of pleasure in their last 48 hours, just has to be the same as everyone else. I get enough tookie, that I don't feel a need to go up and down Soi 6, and meet 3,000 broads... can't they just understand that MY pleasure may be one last lecture to someone that may not understand the ways of the farang? I may enjoy seeing the expression of a BIG C cashier learning that IF an item in my basket doesn't have a price tag with a BAR CODE on it, that doesn't mean I, all of the sudden, don't want the item... and it also doesn't mean that the cashier gets to stop my order, have me pay up for the items WITH bar codes, then take everyone else in line... and then AFTER she is through with them, only THEN does she call for someone to do a "price check"... after I've now lost 30 minutes.... these people NEED training.... they NEED to know what they did wrong, and I'm happy to give them FREE TRAINING...

so the next time any of you go to say, for example, BIG C, on Sukumvit, and things at the cashier seem to go "OK", it may have gone "OK" because I've ALREADY been there, and trained that person... FREE training... I'm a giver. Even up til the end, I want to give back...

So let's say you're in line at BIG C, Sukumvit, at let's say, cashier #27, and all is going well, but you observe next door at cashier #28, there's trouble a-brewing for someone else, just think to yourself, "things may be going well at #27 cause Weho was already here..."

You're welcome, in advance.

Weho, you are a star! I'm so glad you're back

What a touching commentary! Unfortunately, not everyone shares your excitement, (see prior poster).

Now, if you will excuse me, I must get back to my show on the Discovery Channel about hulls of ocean-going vessels. Something my current "life partner" and I enjoy watching together... and who say romance is dead...

Motorcy drivers do not hold the monopoly on bad driving skills, four wheel drivers are just as bad.

I have to strongly disagree with you on that, Sir Burr. I drive a passenger car. I drove for over 40 years in the USA. During that time, I had a total of two vehicles run into me. Both were cars. I have now been driving here in Thailand for 16 months. During that time, I have had a total of 4 vehicles run into me. Every one was a motorbike. Two of them occured while I was at a complete stop: once parked; once at a red light.

Both of the accidents that occured while I was stopped were due to motorbikes trying to "squeeze through" a space that was too small for them to navigate. One of the moving accidents occured for the same reason, as a bike tried to run between two lanes of moving automobiles. The other moving accident occured when, on a 2 lane road, I signalled a right turn, with no oncoming traffic in the right hand lane. I checked the mirror, and there was no bike in sight. I turned my attention to the soi I was turning into. As the front of my vehicle entered the soi, a bike ran into the right rear fender of my car. Where the FLICK he came from, I have no idea. I stopped, and as I opened the door, he backed off, maneuvered around my car, and sped off.

Now, none of the actions committed by these 4 motorbikes are things that I've seen cars do. The Thai drivers of 4-wheeled vehicles do, for the most part, suck. But their ineptitude is primarily displayed by an inability to drive at any faster than the average ox cart. They just cannot handle cars and pickups. But I don't see them doing things that directly cause accidents. Nor do I see anywhere even close to the number of traffic laws, or common sense, that I see by motorbikes.

As the original poster said, bikes come into traffic from all sides, most often without looking in any direction but where they are heading. They constantly try to pass moving cars, on two lane roads, on whichever side they deem to be most open to them. This is strictly against the law in any country. A motorbike should ALWAYS operate in line with moving cars when there is only a single lane in each direction. Here, they are almost constantly to be found trying to pass you on one side or the other, when traffic slows at all.

Motorbikes are the single greatest threat to traffic safety in Pattaya, with no other motor vehicle even CLOSE! And the infrequent "check points" set up by the useless MIB are, obviously, totally ineffective in improving traffic safety. All they do is check for helmets, and, as noted earlier, the Thais either avoid the checkpoints, or temporarily pop on a "toy" plastic helmet, which couldn't protect the driver or passenger from a head slap by a strong woman! Have you EVER seen a Thai motorbike driver pulled over, other than at a "checkpoint" for driving without a helmet, or for an obvious violation of traffic safety? I haven't.

And it would be so very easy to make significant progress, if they really wanted to. Some steps:

1. Begin by announcing on radio, TV, and in newspapers that ALL traffic laws will be enforced agianst both cars and motorbikes.

2. Make some changes to the punishments for violations by motorbike drivers, including:

- Upgrade the minimum requirements (if there are any!) for the "structural safety" of helmets.

- Anyone driving without a helmet, or carrying a passenger without one, shall have his/her bike impounded until the driver retrieves it, wearing a legal helmet, by paying a fine of 500 baht. (If the passenger is a child under the age of 12, the fine shall be doubled.)

- Anyone driving around a moving 4-wheeled vehicle in the same lane of traffic shall be fined 500 baht.

- Anyone making an unsafe turn on a motorbike (i.e., not checking oncoming traffic in the turn lane) shall be fined 500 baht.

- Anyone moving blocking a turn lane when traffic is stopped, thereby preventing 4-wheeled vehicles from legally using that turn lane, shall be fined 500 baht.

- Anyone driving a motorbike without a license shall have the motorbike impounded, and shall be fined 500 baht. The motorbike must be retrieved by a licensed motorbike driver.

(OK. Those are just for STARTERS on changes to the laws, fines, and punishments!)

3. Assign a force of Motorbike Police to be on constant patrol in the entire Pattaya area (INCLUDING EAST OF SUKHUMVIT), and to actually TAKE ACTION when bikes violate any of the laws.

4. Post stationary police, with motorbikes at the ready, at various points in and around the city, and its' suburbs, to ovserve and enforce traffic laws. Randomly rotate these traffic police positions.

5. Reprimand police who fail to effectively enforce the laws; with a provision for dismissal if an officer exceeds 3 such reprimands.

6. Institute and enforce a mandatory dismissal, and a 1-year jail sentence for any officer found guilty of accepting a bribe.

Do all of the above, and I guarantee you that the streets of Pattaya will be significantly safer, as well as significantly less infuriating for people who have spent most of their lives in civilized countries. You know who they are, don't you? The're the ones who bring most of the money into this place!

Oh, and here's a silly, related idea. Use the funds collected in those fines to actually make an effort to consistently and effectively maintain the "war zone" roads in this "tropical paradise, resort city"!

Now that I've publicly proposed all of these constructive suggestions to improve both the flow and safety of traffic in Pattaya, I'm sure that the authorities will take action to institute some, if not all of them. Aren't you?

I would like to add these rules/fines:

7. Any long-haired motorcycle taxi driver that does not tuck their long ratty hair INSIDE their required helmet, shall immediately be stoned to death.

8. Any motorcycle taxi driver that has not showered within the last month shall be fined 250 baht.

9. Any motorcycle taxi driver that has clean unblemished skin will immediately be relieved of duty.

10. Any motorcycle taxi driver that, upon sitting on the seat, leaves only 4" for the passenger to sit on, must be put on a weight-reduction plan, by eating a diet of only morning-glory, until they are under 200 pounds.

11. Any motorcycle taxi driver that waits in front of markets or stores, but does not have the sense to have a basket on the motorcycle for the passenger to transport purchases/other items, shall be fined 1,000 baht.

12. Any motorcycle taxi driver that says, "no, you pay me too much..." shall be relieved of duty at once.

13. Any motorcycle taxi driver that upon hearing a destination, BREAKS OUT INTO EXTREME LAUGHTER, for no apparent reason, shall be fined 300 baht. Example, "I want to go to Jomtien beach..." Reaction from driver: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...."

14. Any motorcycle taxi driver that does not have at least 100 baht in small change, on them, at all times, she take riders free, wherever they want to go.

15. Any motorcycle taxi driver that has a vest that says they are from "THROB/SPLASH" bar, shall be fined 100 baht.

16. Any motorcycle taxi driver that uses their cell phone while driving a farang passenger, shall be paid double fare, for bravery/stupidity.

17. Any motorcycle taxi driver that tells you, "i have to stop for gas", in the middle of a ride, doesn't get paid anything for the ride.

Nice store, good quality items, but the shop itself is not yet fully finished, maybe still need a few weeks.

But they have very nice bathrooms on 2nd floor. If you look for quality stuff, this store is the place to go.

Are you referring to the public restrooms, or are you referring to the bathroom displays up there?

Sort or reminds me of that English comedian, I think his name is Dom Joly, who used to have some show called "Trigger Happy T.V.", which was excellent... and in one "bit", he went into a bathroom fixture store, presumably in London, (U.K.), where they had a display toilet in their street facing display window, and he proceeded to pull his pants down, and sit on the toilet, as if he was about to, let's see, how can I put this delicately.... hummmmmm.... as if he was about to.... ummmm... "crown"?

48 hours... Let's see... first, I would like to have one last big fight with the pretend manager of the Big C on Sukumvit... Then, i would like to try to return something at Carrefour, and see how difficult they make it, and then I would have one last big fight over there.

If I had any time left, I would get into an argument with the ticket taker at the Major Cineplex movies at "The Avenue", and of course the last thing would be to get into a dispute with a motorcycle taxi guy, over a price agreed to in advance, and/or a baht bus driver, who doesn't like when I give him only 5 baht for a short ride (still more than what he gets out of Thais for the same ride).

And naturally, I would save the last few minutes for some reflection about how I'm always right about everything, and how everyone else is always wrong, and they have no ability to admit they could ever be wrong about anything.

And in the very last minute, it would have to be with a motorcycle taxi driver, and I would be paying him the 40 baht agreed, plus I would offer a 10 baht tip, for a total of 50 baht... I would then hand him a 100 baht note, and he would then exclaim, "sorry, no change..." then I would say, "you're in luck, cause i happen to have two twenties, so you don't get a tip..." That's how i would like to go out.

Now you've done it... you've tipped off the terrorists... and i'm pretty sure they check this forum regularly for ideas.

It just seems to me if Heartland does a 2 hour massage, by qualified people, in air conditioned surroundings, for 350 baht, then a 2 hour massage AT THE BEACH should cost LESS... Truthfully, a realistic price for a massage at the beach should be 100 baht for an hour, or 180 baht for two hours. So why doesn't Heartland just shut down, and send their hundred or so workers right to the beach to make more money?

I went to the brand new BOONTHAVORN store, on Sukumvit, beach side of road, between Pattaya Klang ("central"), and Pattaya Naklua ("north") Road... It's a nice store, well-staffed... but honestly, I don't think they sell much stuff that you can't already get at Homeworks, HomePro, Kam Phong (sp.?) et al.

One of the reasons I wanted to see the store was because I had heard that they were the distributor in Thailand for those toilet seats that automatically wash your rectum. In cold countries, they sell the very expensive electric ones, that heat the water... but in this part of the world, no need to heat the water, so there is a much cheaper version... it's called the ECO-washer, not sure if the brand is Cotto or Toto... but sure enough, there it was, at BOONTHAVORN, on the second floor... they were charging something like 20,000 baht, but you can be the seat by itself, for about 5,000 baht, and it will fit on many toilets, so no need to buy the toilet with the rectum-washing seat. Of course, if you eat a lot of fiber, you probably don't need that toilet seat, but i'm sort of paranoid...

Well, the point is, this new store was nice, but I'm not sure if we can't already get most of what they stock, here in lovely Pattaya... I would guess their faucets were on the high-end side...

They have a little food place in there for light snacks and beverages... I'm not certain, but I think I saw a bunch of "day laborers" sitting in the parking lot, so if you need some people to install your tile, seems like you can just get there right there... they may be illegal Lao workers, so hire at your own risk.

From a customer service standpoint, they did quite well... when I was exiting, I needed to get a baht bus, and it was POURING quite heavily... and without hesitation, some umbrella dude came from out of nowhere, and waited with me until the baht bus arrived.

I was only there about 20 minutes. I know they have multiple locations in/around Bangkok.

In case I wasn't clear, the store sells bathroom, kitchen fixtures/appliances, tiles, jacuzzi type tubs, showers, cleaning supplies, some hardware, some home storage items, etc.

I remind readers, again... be sure to eat enough fiber... you'll thank me one day...

Ooops... I guess I did mean HEARTland... yes, it's nice in there, but is 350 baht in a private room, or one of those community type rooms with lots of tourists from northern countries? And I never know what to tip in there... any suggestions??

If you look in the back of the Heartland building, there is a housing building, which is where most of their staff live... it appears to be non-airconditioned housing... my experience is the guys on the beach aren't really trained, but once in a while, you get someone that knows what they are doing... At Heartland, they are always good.

And I like going over that that part of town, cause I can do both Heartland AND the Faustino pharmacy, for colonic supplies... even if I don't need anything, I enjoy just looking at their display... I swear, it makes me feel healthier just LOOKING at it... thinking of all those toxins leaving my body.

I can give a recommendation that will accomplish two goals at once:

1. excellent dental care, no problems ever...

and

2. you will go bankrupt

Answer: Bangkok Pattaya Hospital