oz457

^ On that happy note, a little joke:

One day, a fellow complained to his friend.

"My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend offered, "Don't do that! There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10. He figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer

started making some noises and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy labour." It will be better in two weeks. Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Give him vitamins. Your daughter's using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife's pregnant - twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And, if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

hahaha, Thanks for sharing this one. REally rocks!

That kinda sucks...I dont use drugs at all, but I would probally have some problems providing a urine on the spot, shybladder Did they give you some privacy?

Well, just the toilet behind the police booth.

Regarding the cup I had to leak in... it was a standard plastic drinking cup from the shop behind the corner.

I guess this few hundred baht notes won't suffice to get around in case I was positive. There were a dozens of police men looking at the result.

I got pulled over at the same check point a few times.... maybe they were trying another approach to get make me a few bahts lighter, but it didn't work out. Eventually they'll have to give up with me and find another victim. I speak fluent Thai, so maybe they find it amusing too. Don't know...

I was driving down from Kalasin to Bangkok last Week-End with my wife. Got pulled over on one of the numerous police check points somewhere between Khorat and Saraburi. They couldn't make me give any fine for driving fast or driving on the right lane, because I know the checkpoints well, but me and my wife were surprised we got kindly asked to go for a leak in a plastic cup for Amphetamine testing.

My wife was shocked; because she never heard that they are going that far in their war against drugs.

Took a leak in the plastic cup, had to give it to the police man. He took a amphetamine testing strip, opened it, took a sample of my pea water, and they you go... amphetamine test.

The test can trace any amphetamines up to 7 days in the past. Fortunately, I'm not a drugs user, so I was all clear. I was talking with the police man and he told me that in case I would have been positive, I would have been in very big trouble. For the memory, I took a picture together with the police man. Have a look at the picture for your convenience.

They will then check your passport and if they find out that the past 7 days you have only been in Thailand...you can make up the continuation of this story.

So one advise to all drugs users in Thailand. It is not that you can get a hand on drugs in a secret way and use it well hidden from the authorities... you can get caught by the police up to 7 days after usage during a standard road control....

Hi all,

I've been dating my thai Isarn GF for 6 years now. We had up and downs, but finally I find her really worth a person. She takes unbelievably good care of me and she seems to be a good girl. We go along very well, have the same idea's and seems clear to me.

She is not a bargirl, but a normal girl, so no sex before marriage. And yes, maybe lots of guys will think this is a beautiful love story.

Now we are about to get married. And I want to know more regarding thai marriage.

It seems that her body belongs to her parents, and to marry and be woman and husband, I'll have to 'buy' her from her parents. I understand the customs.

It also involves in paying money. We agreed on a rather small amount, 100.000 Bath. The question I have is that she also asks me to give her and her family money on a monthly basis. This means they ask for a monthly fee, which I think is much. She tells me this money belongs to us, so when I'm here, she will take care of me. She also tells me that this is a custom. I just want to know if this is true. If so, how is it negociatable?

I hope to get any links to websites who explain more regarding the customs.

I have no idea regarding marriage, regarding papers. I'm a Belgian citizen and I'm only willing to make a a marriage contract where my money belongs to me, and her money belongs to her.

Any information is welcome.

Don't reply to tell me how bad or good Thai girls are, I just need information.

Does that mean that Lease hold or Freehold they all have the same documents, it is what is written in the contract that is determinant if it is a freehold or a leasehold?

Or in case the documents for freehold and leasehold are different I mean have a different letter heading, please tell me what is the name of the documents for leasehold and what are the documents for freehold. If possible, what is the thai name, if possible in thai script so I can compare.

I can read thai (the basics) so that would be easier for me.

I will get a copy of the brown Chanoot document somewhere next week. I'm not in Thailand so I canot check right away.

Hello,

how can I recognize or see the difference between a leasehold and freehold contract? What is the actual Thai word for LEASEHOLD and the Thai word for FREEHOLD.

I ask this question because my gf owns an apartment and wants to sell it. Now a farang is interested, we want to know if she owns the apartment as a leasehold or a freehold. She bought the apartment long time ago. How can I recognise it is a freehold or leasehold contract.

As I'm not in Thailand, the language barrier (I speak and can read thai, but the technical words...) is a problem.

If someone can just translate the offical document words of FREEHOLD and LEASEHOLD I will check with the office of property what kind of contract she actually has with the apartment she currently owns.

Thanks for any help.

I drive very often between Bangkok and Isarn area with the car. The number of traffic checks are increasing the closer we get to the songkran festival. These boys in brown seem to need money to invite all there friends and family members to pay beers and drinks during this period.

It is one of these few annoyances I cannot live with in Thailand: traffic police stops you, pretends you have been speeding, or comes up with a story you have been driving continously the right lane. Any kind of story is good enought to get the bribe or to fine.

I'm now in defense mode regarding these BIB's. I try to talk out my way, but now I use technology.

Last monday, I was pulled over. The BIB told me: you have been speeding 135km/h. I know that's not true and I told him with a smile. Oh, that's not possible. Pointed the BIB to my GPS. I told him, I'm very willing to pay the fine, if the tracklog of my GPS tells me I've been speeding.

To make the story short, I pulled out my computer, connected my laptop (takes about 5 to 10 minutes, and opened an excell file I made the day before with all kinds of numbers. One column displays the time when I opened the file with on the first line the current time minus 6 minutes, the second line date and time minus 7, minus 8 (simple programming in excell), etc. Next column sais, top speed and a random number between 70 and 89,99. After showing the police guy, he started to get nervous and told me, just go! Because the BIB was loosing money, because it takes just too much time to fine me. Got out with it just piece of cake.

If they tell me about the fact I have been driving on the right lane, I'll just do the same and pull out my computer. Copy the tracklog to mapsource software to proof that's not true. But I haven't been into this kind of situation yet.

I already considered installing dummy camera's inside the car. So if the BIB pulls me over, I'll just tell him: smile, you are on camera. I think those who are cheating to get the bribe money, will think twice. Of course, always be nice and friendly.

What is your experince? How do you talk you way out of paying any fine?

Any experience exchange would be wonderful.

My experince... here is the story:

Came in to thailand on Jan 6th 2009. My passport was still valid for 6 months and 1 week. I was going to stay about 1 month.

But on the 3rd week of my stay, I had to do a business trip to Taiwan. When leaving the airport at Suvanabhumi, I asked the immigration if it would be a problem to enter again 2 days later after the business trip, as my passport will be valid less than 6 months. They said: "NO problem".

Entering Taiwan was a problem! The immigration guy didn't want to let me in! I told him I had a return ticket only 2 days later, asked him to contact the people from the factory, etc. etc. After some nice talking, I talked my way into Taiwan! But if the immigration guy of Taiwan wanted to play the tough guy, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to get into the country.

Having this happened in Taiwan, I was kinda stressed to return to Bkk. That's when I came to look at this tread!

Leaving Taiwan only 2 days later: China airlines started to make some trouble again. I told them I have a valid return ticket leaving Thailand, told them also that I take full responsibility and if necessary I will sign a paper! I got my boarding pass, then the immigration guy from Taiwan was looking at my passport maybe for 4 minutes! He didn't say anything and finally let me go out of the country! Gosh, I was happy to leave, but didn't know what was going to happen in Thailand.

When arriving in thailand, the immigration queue was immense. I have chosen a nice thai lady (with a big smile, maybe she would allow me )

When it was my turn, no problem, she let me in. I kindly told her that I was aware my passport was close to expiry, but ONLY after she gave me the stamp. She told me: oh, no problem. I see you come very often and never offended the law!

Be aware I speak very fluent thai, so that might have helped as wel.

So for those who are not sure: no guarantee. This is my experience. I would recommend to follow the rules and keep your passport valid. In case you have no choice and get into trouble, don't make the fellow customs guy mad, better choose a lady and always smile.

In case you get into trouble, imagine your passport is still valid for 5 months and 2 weeks, kindly ask the immigration to stamp allowance for 2 weeks and get out of there, so you don't get into trouble.

My wife just got a phone call from her mother in Bangkok. There are more and more rumours about floodings in Bangkok.

Anybody has information about issue?

Please inform?

Hello all,

I have bought a one-way ticket to Bangkok from Brussels and I would like to stay longer than 1 month. Because I'm not willing to cross the boarder, I will apply a tourist visa at the thai embassy. I would like to know if it will be a problem to get this tourist visa as the website says I require a fully paid return ticket to get a tourist visa.

Can someone tell me if my one way ticket will suffice. I don't understand how other people manage to get a visa if they continue to travel further over land?

Any advice is appreciated.

Hello all,

I'm currently not in Thailand. I just need to know for a personal reason if yesterday (Thursday) was a national bank holiday ( Visakha Bucha Day ).

Is it true that yesterday, no alcoholic beverages were sold?

Is it true that yesterday all dicotheques were closed in Bkk?

Thanks for any reply.

When Taksin was there, I was not happy with his undemocratic manner of mqnaging the country.

But now this party has been put out of the law, I find it more a disgrace of the democracy.

It's not a questoin of being against or not against TRT.

It's a matter of supporting democracy.

Every party, right, extreme right, middle, left and extreme left should have the right to be part of elections.

It's the responsibility to external observers that elections have been honest.

I'm unsure because it mentions other names and I've not found any online translater for Belgian to English.

btw, do you know of any? The AltaVista Babel Fish French to English doesn't work well and neither does the German to English. It's not the first time I've wanted something translated.

Have you ever read anything about where in Thailand he settled?

I wonder who the lucky person is that has him as a neighbor....

Hi there Sriracha john.

Allow me to clarify something about Belgium :

There are 3 official language groups in Belgium i.e.

Flemish who speak dutch

Walloons who speak french

The people from the Eupen/Malmedy (german border) region who speak german.

So there is no Belgian language per se. Quite confusing isn't it?

Anyway we do make the best beer in the world. :D

Cheers

onzestan

You forgot also:

the best french fries of the world (they call it 'french' but the first fries were made in Liege, so they should call it Belgian fries;))

the best chocolate in the world

the highest tax rate in the world

He is in biiiiig trouble, very biiiiig trouble, that guy.

Just had my girlfriend on the phone. She was pretty upset, because she moves out the apartment and the owner is not willing to pay back the warranty of the apartment. As she has been taking care very well of the apartment and as the rental period has come to an end, there is no reason why they shouldn't pay it back.

The reason for my writing is that I would like to get some ideas and options to put pressure to get the warranty money back.

I suggested my girlfriend in any case not to give back the key as long she has not received the warranty in return.

I also suggested her, as this is a mafia practice in Thailand, to tell the owner with a smile on her face that if they don't want to pay back the warranty she will keep the key for herself and she will destroy everything inside the room, to make clear the owner he won't make any profit with that warranty he wants to keep for himself.

These are mafia practices against mafia practice.

I would like to know if there are other legal methods. If she calls the police, will she able to get any help?

Note that the warranty is belonging to the name of her mother and she will present herself together with here mother at the office of the apartment.

Note also, I'm unable to be on-site as I'm home at the moment and not in Thailand.

Hmm, can someone tell me which exchange rate is the correct one from a market point of perspective? The onshore (inside Thailand) or the offshore exhange rate.

I have some euro money inside Thailand. Should I quickly exchange the money or should I wait?

Any help would be appreciated.

thanks for response. It's a idea that I just had as the exchange rate seems going crazy.

Two questions:

1. is it allowed to bring in gold bars of 100 grams into thailand (the swiss made ones). Is it allowed to hand carry? Will it be detected by the scanners?

2. what is the prices for these gold bars?

I'm trying to find this information in the posts but after reading so many things, there is no answer found.

What is actually most important: max. 90 days stay out of 180 or the number of stamps?

Imagine you stay 3 times 4 days in Thailand and visit one of the neigbouring countries,will you be allowed a 4th VOA stamp, because your total stay is 12 days?

Any answers would be appreciated.

The reason for my confusion is the post of Pattaya Today that suggests the 90 days out of 180 days is the key factor.

Can someone tell me starting from Oct. 1 if this is going to be retro-active or not?

I was reading they will look back 6 months and look at the number of stamps during the last 6 monts? If so, will they start counting from the 1st of October, or on the 1st of October will they start counting from the 1st of April 2006?

Second question, imagine, in the latter case, you have one stamp in on March 23 and out on April 5. Will this 'out" stamp be counted, or is only "in" stamp that counts?

Sunbelt Asia or someone, could you clarify?????

Thanks.

Anybody who can answer this question?

Can someone tell me starting from Oct. 1 if this is going to be retro-active or not?

I was reading they will look back 6 months and look at the number of stamps during the last 6 monts? If so, will they start counting from the 1st of October, or on the 1st of October will they start counting from the 1st of April 2006?

Second question, imagine, in the latter case, you have one stamp in on March 23 and out on April 5. Will this 'out" stamp be counted, or is only "in" stamp that counts?

Sunbelt Asia or someone, could you clarify?????

Thanks.

I'm really wondering if they will apply 100% to the new rules as described here on Oct. 1st.

According the Don Muang airport website, they have 5milj travellers a year. This means, an average day, 14 000 people travel in and out Don Muang. Now, let's say, 50% are arrivals, that leaves 7000 people will arrive on Oct. 1st.

Assuming that 1 out of 100 people will have 3 or more VOA and won't have the required visa. This means 70 people will get into trouble and will have to be deported out of Thailand.

I have one friend who will leave for Thailand after tomorrow. His return flight is 60 days later. As he already has more than the allowed number of VOA, he was planning to do a visa run. I had a phone call with this person and he told me he won't be able to make the tourist visa and he doesn't know what to do? Will this person when doing the visa run be disallowed to enter Thailand?

In my case, I'll need a tourist visa too, but I'm leaving for Oct 13. I'll probably wait and see, because I cannot imagine that Thailand is going to apply the rule and check retro-activelly starting from Oct. 1st. If they do, I think many, many people will get into trouble.

If they stick to the new rules on Oct. 1st checking the VOA stamps retro-activelly, they will quickly notice their new rule cannot be applied due to the big number of people who won't even have had a chance to fit to the new rules....

My letter to the thai Embassy in Belgium:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I seek your help as there is a lot of confusion regarding the new visa regulations that will start on October 1st 2006.

I'm doing business with Thailand and need to travel to Thailand on a regular basis. So far, I was using the Visa on Arrival stamp that granted me 30 days stay.

Here's a history of the visits:

Arrival 1 april 2006 Departure 24 april 2006 (visit of the Bangkok International Gifts Trade fair)

Arrival 20 june 2006 Departure 15 july 2006 (visit of different supplyers, merchandise check and visit to Thai export center)

Arrival 25 july 2006 Departure 9 august 2006 (returning from personal travel to Laos Republic)

My next visit is planned on October 14 2006 to visit the Bangkok International Gifts Trade fair of 17 - 24 oct.

Based on this information, will I be granted a VOA of do I need to apply for a Visa in Belgium? Who will pay the expense of this visa, as in the past this was of no cost.

Kind regards.

Based on the current announcements you should have no problem entering under the current Visa Exemption scheme.

Please note you are not granted a Visa on Arrival, that is something quite different.

I fully agree with you, but you should carefully read the last sentence:

"Who will pay the expense of this visa, as in the past this was of no cost."

And to buy a visa costs me money, so yes, I have reasons to complain...

My letter to the thai Embassy in Belgium:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I seek your help as there is a lot of confusion regarding the new visa regulations that will start on October 1st 2006.

I'm doing business with Thailand and need to travel to Thailand on a regular basis. So far, I was using the Visa on Arrival stamp that granted me 30 days stay.

Here's a history of the visits:

Arrival 1 april 2006 Departure 24 april 2006 (visit of the Bangkok International Gifts Trade fair)

Arrival 20 june 2006 Departure 15 july 2006 (visit of different supplyers, merchandise check and visit to Thai export center)

Arrival 25 july 2006 Departure 9 august 2006 (returning from personal travel to Laos Republic)

My next visit is planned on October 14 2006 to visit the Bangkok International Gifts Trade fair of 17 - 24 oct.

Based on this information, will I be granted a VOA of do I need to apply for a Visa in Belgium? Who will pay the expense of this visa, as in the past this was of no cost.

Kind regards.

I only see one way to make pressure on the Government in Thailand regarding the new Visa rules... A mass emailing from all forum members to their local Thai Embassies.

In first instance, I would focus on the VOA visa matters and once the story of the 3mlj baht visa issue is publicly announced do another mailing regarding this story (this has not yet officially been confirmed)

I suggest everybody explains their own situation regarding their stay and email/phone the embassies.

Please find the email address and phone numbers of the embassy of your country.

http://www.thai-info.net/info/thaiembassyabroad.htm

If someone can come up with a standard letter, maybe we can send out hundreds (if possible thousands) of emails to the embassies and put them under pressure. I hope the local embassies will increase pressure to the Thai government in their turn.

I prefer personal letters to the Embassies as a standard letter is due to get a standard answer.

Any other suggestions are welcome as a lot of people are concerned.

PLEASE distribute this email to all your friends (farang or Thai's) and relatives who are concerned.

Can the forum manager keep this thread sticky?

For all those sending their letter, it would be great to make a copy of your letter to this thread.