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Trips back home not the same any more.


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I have just returned from a trip home to New Zealand and don't think I will be going back again.

 

I don't have any close relatives living there, apart from a distant nephew who has just settled in Nelson (South Island) and although it was good to catch up with him and a couple of other relatives who had travelled from Canada to see him, overall, I really didn't enjoy the trip.

 

In fact I couldn't wait to get back to Patong and even brought my flights forward by two weeks in order to get back here early.

 

It is good to catch up with friends, but once the initial catch up meeting over drinks or a meal has finished, they go back to their routines, family, jobs and get on with their lives, whereas I am just left "kicking my heels" waiting for my departure date to arrive and being totally bored just wandering around the place looking at places that I have known for years.

 

Thinking about it I should consider myself very fortunate because I have a good friend in the car business who gives me a car to use and another friend who allows me the use of her luxury apartment, with fabulous views, so what is the problem?

 

Well I find myself getting totally bored and missing the vibrancy that is Patong (warts and all – – Patong not me) because although it's not perfect by any means and I detest the lo-so Chinese hordes, and don't like the dangerous driving, the smelly sewers and the poor condition of the roads, not to mention the corruption, it is now my home. And here is where I have both Thai and farang friends as well as an ex g/f and her daughter whom I support and whose company I enjoy with regular contact. It also has good restaurants, shopping and nightlife which adds to the vibrancy and feel of the place.

 

So no more trips to NZ for me and for that matter no more long trips to anywhere because I am completely over long trips and all that goes with them. Perhaps it is age, because when I first decided to give Patong a try 11 years ago, I reasoned that I could spend six months of the year in NZ and six months of the year in Patong (cost was not an issue) and although I did return about once every 18 months, the experience has diminished. Perhaps it is that I have come to realise that this is now home to me?

 

So a question for the TV members............ do you find a similar thing when you travel back to your own country or am I just getting too old for this sort of travel.

 

How do your trips back home go, and how do you view them these days; necessary or a pain? And what do you enjoy/not enjoy about them?

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51 minutes ago, transam said:

I feel the same as you, last time I went back was to watch my mum pass away, as soon as I had a funeral date I booked a flight back that very evening...

A sad reason to have to go back :sad:.

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4 hours ago, xylophone said:

So a question for the TV members............ do you find a similar thing when you travel back to your own country or am I just getting too old for this sort of travel.

I went back to the UK last year for two weeks, first time in 10 years.

Trip was 1 week too long.

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I used to return to the UK ( for the first 10 years after I left)  twice a year for around 2 months in total, the last  time I went at Christmas I spent Christmas day on my own so decided that- that was 'the last time'.

For the first time, in 15 years away, I did not go back at all in 2017.

This year I was initially thinking of going back for 2 months, now I am thinking 2 weeks will be enough to see everyone and sort stuff,

So yes I feel the same way as the OP

 

 

 

 

 

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Yes. I have come to the same (sad?).. Inevitable conclusion.

In my 20s through to about 60 years old..once a year to Birmingham UK.. from Australia.. After that USA. Haven't been in 4 years now. We've all grown apart.. Sisters.. Nephews etc etc.

Plus for a few decades past, when I did go there wasn't much interest in seeing me after a few meals together.. I was more keen.. They we not so... Enthusiast?! :) In fact out of 40+ trips to England.. Only once was a met at LHR.

Nope. Flogging a dead horse. :(

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Haven't been back for a few years, nothing there for me now.

Mum died last year, & have only my sister left.

 

She came here a few months back, which was lovely.

 

But, no I don't have any desire in visiting the place that was my home.

My home is here, with my lovely wife.

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More and more my travels have been for gastronomy, shopping, and a change of climate. I don't go back home much as family and friends treat me the same way they did 15 years ago, curiously unaware that that person doesn't exist anymore.

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I was really looking forward to my trip to oz. After 7 days I was really looking to get the hell out of there.

Every time I see " I am heading back home, had enough of thailand" threads I just have a really good chuckle. Poor barstards

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I have been living in Thailand for over 12 years and it is my permanent home. I have no thoughts of returning to live in the UK, unless something very serious happens here.

 

However, my wife (she is Thai) and I visit the UK once a year and spend 4-6 weeks visiting family and friends, and revisiting places where we have had happy times together. If I had better health and more money we would visit more often.

 

We are always glad to be back home in Thailand, but sad to have to miss our family (especially my old mum and our grandkids) for another year. It is a real wrench to say goodbye.

 

At the end of our trips we often have thoughts about moving back to the UK, but that soon passes as we have friends and family here, and a nice life.

 

My only real regret about living here is missing out on family stuff, like seeing the grandkids growing up.

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We are going back to oz next month for 8 weeks. After catching up with friends and family, Perth and all over NSW, am not sure if it will be too long as that part should only take a month. The girl loves it and does not seem to miss her family here so hopefully it will be ok and not get bored with the 'holiday' life.

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Mr Xylophone, you came back to NZ (without a heads up - shame on you) and left feeling discontented. Beggars belief. The vibrance around Manurewa train station and Great South Road would now put Patpong & Bangla to shame.especially at 7.00am in the morning when navigating through the area to get to work.

I love going back to my home country being originally from the U.K. Unfettered family engagement does make a difference.for the trip. 

I also love coming back home to NZ after holidaying as it's home.

I would also really, really, really love to come back to a home in Chiang Mai if Opal decided her future was Thailand.

Apologies, for no  VIP fast track Auckland immigration, we weren't aware of your arrival.

Best Wishes

Paul & Opal

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Been in Thailand now for 22 years, this is my only home. Have been going back with my thai wife every single year to visit my parents and siblings, spending about 2 weeks each time. After both mum and dad passed away few years ago, we still go to stay with my brother or sister, but only for a week or lesser. This year, may not go at all. Slowly getting detached. But we do have a strong whatsapp family group which helps keep us informed.

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2 hours ago, Paul Catton said:

Mr Xylophone, you came back to NZ (without a heads up - shame on you) and left feeling discontented. Beggars belief. The vibrance around Manurewa train station and Great South Road would now put Patpong & Bangla to shame.especially at 7.00am in the morning when navigating through the area to get to work.

I love going back to my home country being originally from the U.K. Unfettered family engagement does make a difference.for the trip. 

I also love coming back home to NZ after holidaying as it's home.

I would also really, really, really love to come back to a home in Chiang Mai if Opal decided her future was Thailand.

Apologies, for no  VIP fast track Auckland immigration, we weren't aware of your arrival.

Best Wishes

Paul & Opal

Jeez Paul, so sorry, but what with everything going on I didn't manage to catch up with hardly anybody........

 

Not only couldn't I stand the 3 children playing up (in a confined space), I twisted my knee so was chair-bound for a while, then my sister slipped on a wet deck and tore the tendons off the bone in her knee (screaming in agony) so rellies took her to hospital and she was operated on almost within a day.

 

So sitting chair-bound with a twisted knee in a temperature of 9 C that night and it pouring down with rain, I decided I'd had enough and wanted to go home.........notwithstanding the fact I'd made arrangements to meet up with old mates in Auckland. So I did manage 2 dinner dates, three lunches and a coffee catch-up then it was out of there, and so pleased to be home.

 

My profuse apologies Paul.........look me up when next in Patong and I'll shout you a drink or three!

 

All the best.

 

 

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Spending 6 months Thailand and work the other 6 months in UK, for the last 20yrs. Having my own home in both locations I reckon I have the best of both worlds. I miss the banter with mates at home and work, my home is on the edge of the Peak District, a beautiful area, no matter what time of year.

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1999 and back in town in California and dropped in to see some pals that I hadn't seen since I left in 1988 but we had been in touch...and it was a bit weird and awkward...and these were my best pals...one dude said: 'things have changed, tutsi and no way you could fit in around here anymore...'

 

2015 and arranged to see a pal in Amsterdam who was there on business; me I was workin' in saudi and headin' to Paris to meet up with my son who lives in the UK...again awkward and uncomfortable...and we had been thru some bad times together and good ones as well in the 70s...but now we were 'grown up' and both successful...

 

you can never go back, only forward...

 

embrace it...

 

 

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2 hours ago, trd said:

I don't know what's more sad. Being bored with New Zealand or missing the vibrancy of Patong.

Read and learn.........

 

"it is now my home. And here is where I have both Thai and farang friends as well as an ex g/f and her daughter whom I support and whose company I enjoy with regular contact. It also has good restaurants, shopping and nightlife which adds to the vibrancy and feel of the place".

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Read and learn.........
 
"it is now my home. And here is where I have both Thai and farang friends as well as an ex g/f and her daughter whom I support and whose company I enjoy with regular contact. It also has good restaurants, shopping and nightlife which adds to the vibrancy and feel of the place".
I wonder if you'll still be missing the vibrancy of Patong after 20 years, which is how long Phuket has been home for me.
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9 minutes ago, trd said:
26 minutes ago, xylophone said:
Read and learn.........
 
"it is now my home. And here is where I have both Thai and farang friends as well as an ex g/f and her daughter whom I support and whose company I enjoy with regular contact. It also has good restaurants, shopping and nightlife which adds to the vibrancy and feel of the place".

I wonder if you'll still be missing the vibrancy of Patong after 20 years, which is how long Phuket has been home for me.

Have to wait and see on that one......have been coming here for almost 14 years and living full time for 11 yrs.

 

For me I think it is the total of those things that I posted (friends, daughter, restaurants etc) which make it my home now, and yes it does have that feeling of being "vibrant". 

 

I believe I "saw" my future in NZ when I took early retirement for health reasons and it was not pretty........older guys like me wandering around shopping malls looking for a coffee shop in which to spend a few hours reading papers, trying to pass the days.

 

And forget speaking to anyone younger (esp female) because you would be told to "piss off, you old pervert".

 

Contrast that with here........friends who are not unavailable through work, others seeking a "new/different" life so have something in common, a daughter to care for, the everyday Thais who will have a smile and hello for you, irrespective of your age, and of course there is always something going on.

 

At 70 I prefer this and hope I will until I depart this mortal coil. 

 

It would seem that you don't share this view, but then everyone to their own........

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Have to wait and see on that one......have been coming here for almost 14 years and living full time for 11 yrs.
 
For me I think it is the total of those things that I posted (friends, daughter, restaurants etc) which make it my home now, and yes it does have that feeling of being "vibrant". 
 
I believe I "saw" my future in NZ when I took early retirement for health reasons and it was not pretty........older guys like me wandering around shopping malls looking for a coffee shop in which to spend a few hours reading papers, trying to pass the days.
 
And forget speaking to anyone younger (esp female) because you would be told to "piss off, you old pervert".
 
Contrast that with here........friends who are not unavailable through work, others seeking a "new/different" life so have something in common, a daughter to care for, the everyday Thais who will have a smile and hello for you, irrespective of your age, and of course there is always something going on.
 
At 70 I prefer this and hope I will until I depart this mortal coil. 
 
It would seem that you don't share this view, but then everyone to their own........
If I didn't share your view I wouldn't have made Phuket my home for the past 20 years. Phuket isn't Patong which is my least favorite place on the island having lived there for the first three years. Back in 1997 it was relatively quiet but now it's just one big building site. It's not a place in Phuket I would ever choose to live again that's all. If that was the only place I was allowed to live then give me Auckland or the Bay of Islands.
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Like other OPs I am a Brit and have now been living in Thailand for a little over 12 years and have a beautiful Wife, whose one desire is to spoil me, with her cooking, driving me around, introducting me to her Friends and dining out with them.  Transited through the UK a year ago last November and was shocked by the price of things, the state of most citiies/towns the enormously fat people in vast quantities who all seemed to have long faces and wore drab clothes.  Not to mention the very low number of indigenous Brits actually living in the UK.  I felt like a stranger and could not wait to leave.  My lovely Wife often asks if I miss the UK and would I like to go back and live there.  Sadly no; the only place I would even remotely consider is North Scotland (which my Wife also loved), but the weather there is a big draw back.  I encourage as many of my Family Members as possible to come here for a holiday and they, like me, love Thailand, the people, the food, the weather and social life.  When they retire, I can see them all moving here - that would be a real blast!  Sorry UK, even a week in the UK depresses me, so I think I am here until I turn up my toes, so to say.  Sorry for those who see only the negative side of this great Country, but maybe some of them would not be happy regardless of where they live?

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31 minutes ago, trd said:

If that was the only place I was allowed to live then give me Auckland or the Bay of Islands.

I have to agree that the Bay of Islands is a really beautiful place and I've loved my visits/stays there....including cruising around the islands on a friends yacht, and if I was the type of person who could just relax, sit back and enjoy the scenery then it would be ideal for me; and Auckland is a relatively friendly and clean city. 

 

Also agree that the unconstrained building in Patong and lack of infrastructure planning can be galling, however for the reasons already mentioned, Patong is home now and I focus on those things that I enjoy and try to disregard those I don't. 

 

Cheers.........

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