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An Amish family decides to go to New York for the first Time in their lives; Mother, Father and their son.   They go into the Empire State Building. As they're walking around they notice the

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The little girl's mother was entertaining her next door neighbour when her little daughter walked in. 
"Hello, Mrs Crabbit, are you a gardening expert?" she asked. 
"No I'm not, why do you ask?" said the puzzled neighbour. 

"Mum says if there's any dirt about you'll dig it up." 

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A fish needed surgery, but didn’t know if he’d be able to pay for it. He met with the doctor to talk about how much it would cost.

“Don’t worry at all,” said the doctor.

“I’ll give you a discount on the price. I admire and respect your cousin, so I am honored to be taking care of his family.


He is, beyond any doubt, an excellent sturgeon.”  

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A speaker, who was less than modest, was booked to address an audience at a university. About two hours before she was supposed to speak, however, a couple of student jokers loaded all the folding chairs from the auditorium into a truck and drove off.

No one knew about this until the audience began to arrive for the lecture. It was too late to do anything about it, and the audience had to stand throughout her talk. That evening she wrote a letter to her mother:

“It was a tremendous success. Hours before I got there, every seat in the house was taken, and I was given a standing ovation throughout my speech."  

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A computer rolled into a bakery and went up to the counter. There were doughnuts and muffins and pastries, but the computer pointed at a plate of cookies.

“Hello,” it said in an electronic voice.

 Astonished, the counter person replied, “Wow, we don’t get too many computers in this store. Do you want some of these cookies?”

 “Well,” said the computer, “I might. Could you tell me how many bites are in each one?”


 “I’m sorry,” said the counter person. “There aren’t any bytes in these cookies, just chips.



The number of bites you take depends on the type and size of your input system!

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 A frustrated customer calls tech support with a very tricky problem. She cannot print blue, it just doesn't show up. All the other colors print fine, except blue, which is very unusual.

 The tech support person on the other end tries everything he can think of to help the customer. He asks her to reinstall the program, to reboot the computer, to turn the printer on and off. None of it helps.

 Finally, after hours of troubleshooting, he asks the customer if she can send a photo of her computer, the sys info screen, a screen shot of what she is trying to print and a photo of the printed result, the printer settings, the cable connections and everything on her computer desk.   She forwards the pictures by e-mail and on receipt  he instantly understands what the problem is and tells her,


“From now on, print on white paper instead of blue!”  

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  • blackcab changed the title to Worst Joke Ever 2021
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