GarryP Posted May 20, 2022 Share Posted May 20, 2022 1 hour ago, roo860 said: The weight of the left or right one, or both? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravip Posted May 20, 2022 Share Posted May 20, 2022 My parents told me I could name my new pet dog anything I wanted and since I was a mischievous little boy, I decided to name the dog Sex. It seemed funny at first until you understand all the confusion that this caused me in my later life. Like the day that I went to the town hall to get a dog license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a licence for Sex. He said, “I’d like to have one, too.” Then, I said, “You don’t understand. She’s a dog.” He replied, “Look man, I don’t care how she looks.” “No no, I’ve had Sex since I was 5!” He replied, “You must have been an early bloomer.” *************** When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me I’d have to wait until after the wedding. When I protested that Sex had played a big part in my life and that my whole life revolved around Sex, he said he didn’t want to hear about my personal life. *************** After my wife and I got married, I took the dog with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the hotel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and wanted one for Sex. She replied, “Sir, every room in the hotel can be used for sex.” I said, “You don’t understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Me too!” *************** When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. When I told the Judge I had Sex before I was married, he grinned and said, “Me too.” *************** One day my dog Sex and I took a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came by and asked what I was doing in this alley at midnight. I told him, “I’m looking for Sex!” My case comes up next Tuesday. *************** Now that I’ve been thrown in jail, married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever imagined, I’m in counseling. My psychiatrist asked me what my problem was. I said, “Sex has left my life. It’s like losing a best friend and I’m so lonely.” He said, “Look, you and I both know that sex isn’t man’s best friend. Why don’t you go get yourself a dog...” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravip Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 17 hours ago, roo860 said: If it's so difficult, maybe you could try producing one... Will take awhile, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post Crossy Posted May 21, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2022 During sex, Man suddenly stops and remains motionless. He then starts again and after some time stops to remain motionless once again. This goes on for quite some time. Wife: What the hell are you doing? Man: I have seen this new technique on an internet porn site... Wife: Stupid... that is due to buffering. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 I had thought the clothes dryer was shrinking my clothes, but it turns out it was the fridge all along. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zyxel Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted May 21, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2022 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 Proudly putting the "worst" into the worst joke thread: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 This morning my wife said that she is leaving me. I asked why? She said because you don't take me seriously. I just laughed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 (edited) Edited May 21, 2022 by ballpoint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted May 21, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2022 (edited) I just subscribed to a new periodical magazine, "Diarrhea Sufferers Monthly". The first issue comes with a free ring binder. Edited May 21, 2022 by ballpoint 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted May 21, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2022 I went to the Doctors this morning, he said I've now got very low blood pressure. So he's given me a prescription for 2 IKEA self assembly wardrobes. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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