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Posted

After an hour of applying her new beauty products, my wife said... How old do you think I look?
I said, from your skin I'd say 24, from your figure I'd say 27, from your eyes I'd say 25....
She said.. Oh darling you're so sweet.
I said... Hang on, I haven't finished adding it all up yet.

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Posted

Paddy walked up to a guy in the street, and asked, "Have you seen my daughter? She's been missing since yesterday," and then showed him a photo.
Confused, the guy said, "That's just a picture of an empty chair."
"I know, mate," Paddy replied. "I just told you she's missing!!"

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Posted (edited)

Someone just rang my phone, sneezed, then hung up.
Bloody cold callers!

 

 

 

Edited by ballpoint
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