It seems lending money to others (it doesn't matter Thai or farang) often ends with trouble. The money is not paid back in time or at all, people don't like it when they are asked to finally pay, friendships collapse, the list goes on.

 

The conclusion for everybody should be: Don't lend any money. Or only do it if you see it as a gift to the receiver.

But many people still lend money to others. Why?

 

I.e. the hairdresser asked my gf already several times if she can borrow 5,000B. And then the hairdresser asked her to ask me for the money. And then the hairdresser asked my gf to ask her family to borrow money so that she can lend it to the hairdresser. It seems this kind of behavior is more or less normal. I suggested to my gf she should just say: I don't do that. Don't ask me again.

But it seems that is not the way Thais handle such situation.

 

Why do people not just say no?

And why do some "friends" pressure their "friends" about money.

 

 

For the record: This is not about giving a friend 5000B because he forgot his wallet one evening.

Some time ago I also asked a rich friend if I can borrow 50k for two weeks. He said no. Ok, accepted. I won't ask him again, and we are still friends.

We generally don't lend money to anyone.  We do at times simply give money to really down and out people, like really poor elderly people.  On occasion we will lend to people we know well, usually people who have worked for us, but that is on a rare occasion. The loan in that case can be worked off if need be, and at the end of the day if its not paid back we'd rack it up as a gift.  Once you lend to someone they think you'll be their forever lending source.  With us they quickly find out that one loan does not lead to another. But overall?  Nope. There are plenty of loansharks out there who loan and charge interest.  We're not in that business.  Any loan or gift we give is done out of Buddhist compassion and charity.

For sure an active news story at the moment about a lady who borrowed 800,000 so she could then lend it to her friend, and given her legal position (or lack of it) has decided to try and get publicity to help her instead!
Yeah agree never lend money you can't afford to lose and if you do always expect to not get it back, seen a load of good friends fall out over small amounts of money 'loaned'

4 minutes ago, connda said:

We don't lean money to anyone.  We do at time simply give money to really down and out people, like really poor elderly people.  But lend?  Nope.

Ok

For this thread the question is more: How do you tell that to people and how do they react?

Do you just tell them right away: I won't give you any money. And then nobody asks anymore? Or what do you do?

Same here, my wife just say no without asking me.

 

In two cases, I said I would buy land, and offered them to buy it back later with 5% interest pr year. So far we still hold the land after 5 and 3 years.

 

 

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Ok

For this thread the question is more: How do you tell that to people and how do they react?

Do you just tell them right away: I won't give you any money. And then nobody asks anymore? Or what do you do?

Yeah - that's essentially it.  My wife and I have been residents of this village for a long time, almost 18 years for me, my wife since she was a kid.  My wife is very active in the laity side of running the local temple.  We are known and hold a certain amount of status within the community.  Is it unusual for people to come to us asking for a loan and financial help?  No, but it's pretty rare for us to do it and it's really on a case-by-case basis.  We know these people.  Village life - everyone knows everyone and in many cases there are family ties. They know us, we know them.  No harm in asking, but for the most part they know up-front that the answer will be "No."  And like I said, for the most part we've helped people who have worked for us or who are desperately poor and whom we know personally.

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

The conclusion for everybody should be: Don't lend any money. Or only do it if you see it as a gift to the receiver.

But many people still lend money to others. Why?

Because when you say NO, they never speak to you again.

 

Just agreed to pay the school fees for my wife's pals son, 15Kbht for the year, not as a loan but a gift. I'm OK giving money away if it's for what looks like a good cause. No loans though.

I was taught this from an early age. Never good to be in debt. 

 

 

AI result:  

Neither a borrower nor a lender be” is a proverb that advises against borrowing or lending money. It is often used to warn of the potential financial and interpersonal difficulties that can arise from these actions. 

 

Explanation 

 

• Lending

  Lending money to friends can be risky because it can lead to resentment and the loss of both the money and the friend.
• Borrowing

  Borrowing can lead to the neglect of domestic thrift, which is an important value for gentlemen.

 

The phrase is most famously associated with the character Polonius in William Shakespeare's Hamlet. In the play, Polonius gives this advice to his son Laertes before he sets off for Paris. 

 

 

 

 

8 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Because when you say NO, they never speak to you again.

Personally I would accept that consequence.

Ok, if someone has no money for food, then probably I will help that person.

But if they just drunk too much or gambled too much, why should I be concerned if they never speak with me again? 

The part I hate most is when I tell them 'No' to the loan, most of the time they demand to know 'WHY?'. Their tone instantly changes as they quickly bark it out...'Why?' They have a rebuttle ready for any excuse, so I just say that I don't have to explain why. If they continue then I point out their bad manners to them.

I have lent money to a couple of Thais, people I knew.  Several 100 thousand baht.  Got it back before they needed to repay me.

Never to a girl I met for an hour who a few weeks down the line asks for it.

The last couple of times people have asked to borrow money off me, I have just told them the truth, that lending or borrowing never ends well, and it is a mark of respect to them that I want to remain friends with them as I like them by not loaning them money at all, people usually get it, might not be happy about it but not my job to save the world!

Family is a different matter and I believe most family in any country in the world would be willing to help out their own family, donations or contributions to those a lot worse off than you are also a different matter.

I will lend, but I need collateral, car or scooter with all transfer documents.

 

 

Usually, no one ever asks me, but if it's family, I usually say OK and consider it a gift.  

 

As for friends?  That usually never happens, but one time a few years ago I lent $500 to a friend who was about to go on a preplanned vacation and was short of cash.  The loan was my idea.  I had money just sitting in a bank earning about zero, and so why not?  He usually makes great money and I knew he would pay me back.   He works for himself and people who owed him money weren't paying so quickly, so he had a cash flow problem.  I think that can sometimes be a problem for people who run their own businesses.  One day they have tons of money, and a week later, they're broke.   I had an uncle like that.  He earned $500K a year or more, and yet there were times when he had "no money."   Mostly his fault.  Some people aren't very good at controlling their spending.  

51 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Because when you say NO, they never speak to you again.

 

Just agreed to pay the school fees for my wife's pals son, 15Kbht for the year, not as a loan but a gift. I'm OK giving money away if it's for what looks like a good cause. No loans though.

Gifts are good.  Giving is good.  ♥️

I tell them I’m not a bank

I say jokingly:

yeum bpen leum (to borrow is to forget)

usually they see the point and agree.

"Can I borrow some money from you" in Thailand means "can I get some money from you". They never plan to pay it back! 😂

I had a Nonna

 

feed your family

feed yourself

feed a stranger

feed another animal (she said pet)

everyday

 

money? no way

 

I just tell them I can't loan them the 10,000 because I'm saving up for a 35 million baht Ferrari and I'm only 10,000 shy of reaching that goal^^

Poor people are so needy. 

7 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

Poor people are so needy. 

And the worst type of people to ask to borrow money.

They always say no.

Selfish.

My wife only helps if they helped her before and paid back all debts.

I got 3B in my Bangkok bank account and 5000B to last me until next month. I ain't rich.  I got a 32,000B insurance payment coming up soon.

Can you lend me 100B 😧

On 1/22/2025 at 9:58 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

It seems lending money to others (it doesn't matter Thai or farang) often ends with trouble. The money is not paid back in time or at all, people don't like it when they are asked to finally pay, friendships collapse, the list goes on.

 

The conclusion for everybody should be: Don't lend any money. Or only do it if you see it as a gift to the receiver.

But many people still lend money to others. Why?

 

I.e. the hairdresser asked my gf already several times if she can borrow 5,000B. And then the hairdresser asked her to ask me for the money. And then the hairdresser asked my gf to ask her family to borrow money so that she can lend it to the hairdresser. It seems this kind of behavior is more or less normal. I suggested to my gf she should just say: I don't do that. Don't ask me again.

But it seems that is not the way Thais handle such situation.

 

Why do people not just say no?

And why do some "friends" pressure their "friends" about money.

 

 

For the record: This is not about giving a friend 5000B because he forgot his wallet one evening.

Some time ago I also asked a rich friend if I can borrow 50k for two weeks. He said no. Ok, accepted. I won't ask him again, and we are still friends.

The problem in this country - just look at the statistics that the govt continues puttinng ou and look at so many of their program - they talk about the overwhelming household debt, the failure of outstanding loans being repaid, and all the free money that the govt continues to throw out while having empty coffers.  So the govt answer is to find others to tax and talk about a negative tax situation in which money from the richer can be given to the poorest of those that never pay taxes anyway.  Now foreigners are being targetted too without giving them any "benefits" for those taxes they will get from them except the higher prices for farangs.  You are totally corect, do not "loan" any money, just give what you can afford to "donate".  Good luck,.

I dress like a bum, nobody asks me. Always be seen carrying a crumpled plastic bag.

On 1/22/2025 at 9:58 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

It seems lending money to others (it doesn't matter Thai or farang) often ends with trouble. The money is not paid back in time or at all, people don't like it when they are asked to finally pay, friendships collapse, the list goes on.

 

The conclusion for everybody should be: Don't lend any money. Or only do it if you see it as a gift to the receiver.

But many people still lend money to others. Why?

 

I.e. the hairdresser asked my gf already several times if she can borrow 5,000B. And then the hairdresser asked her to ask me for the money. And then the hairdresser asked my gf to ask her family to borrow money so that she can lend it to the hairdresser. It seems this kind of behavior is more or less normal. I suggested to my gf she should just say: I don't do that. Don't ask me again.

But it seems that is not the way Thais handle such situation.

 

Why do people not just say no?

And why do some "friends" pressure their "friends" about money.

 

 

For the record: This is not about giving a friend 5000B because he forgot his wallet one evening.

Some time ago I also asked a rich friend if I can borrow 50k for two weeks. He said no. Ok, accepted. I won't ask him again, and we are still friends.

I have experienced, word for word, exactly what you have just described. It always ends badly. 15 years ago my Thai wife's aunt, who lives in the house next to ours asked her/me numerous times to lend her money. My wife always said no, because I don't give her any money, she said and has very little money of her own. The aunt never asked again, but approaches others in the village the same way, often owing sums of money to the same people many times. How stupid can some people be?

 

As a child, I was always taught the saying: "Neither a lender nor a borrower be" 

 

I broke that rule once. In my early 20s, In N. Ireland, I lent a  naval acquaintance 5 English pounds. In 1963, that was a lot of money for Servicemen who were, at that time, poorly paid. He promised to pay it back that Thursday after payday. He was drafted to another ship the following day, knowing that he wasn't going to pay me back.

 

Lesson learned - I never did it again. That b**tard still owes me that money - plus interest!

Just don't do it!

That same lesson is magnified a thousand times, here in Thailand!

On 1/22/2025 at 10:11 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

Ok

For this thread the question is more: How do you tell that to people and how do they react?

Do you just tell them right away: I won't give you any money. And then nobody asks anymore? Or what do you do?

One of the easiest ways, (for me anyway), is to just say, "I don't have the money to spare - I haven't got it, sorry".

Never a borrower or a lender be, lest you lose both loan and friend (Shakespeare) 

 

There is no doubt that it isn't easy to turn down a friend. One needs to be assertive but tactful. But in any case, I have asked my Thai wife to just say, "I am sorry, I cannot do that".

 

Leaving out the need to tell a lie, excuses or any reasons helps to avoid a continuing discussion. 

On 1/22/2025 at 9:58 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

It seems lending money to others (it doesn't matter Thai or farang) often ends with trouble. The money is not paid back in time or at all, people don't like it when they are asked to finally pay, friendships collapse, the list goes on.

 

The conclusion for everybody should be: Don't lend any money. Or only do it if you see it as a gift to the receiver.

But many people still lend money to others. Why?

 

I.e. the hairdresser asked my gf already several times if she can borrow 5,000B. And then the hairdresser asked her to ask me for the money. And then the hairdresser asked my gf to ask her family to borrow money so that she can lend it to the hairdresser. It seems this kind of behavior is more or less normal. I suggested to my gf she should just say: I don't do that. Don't ask me again.

But it seems that is not the way Thais handle such situation.

 

Why do people not just say no?

And why do some "friends" pressure their "friends" about money.

 

 

For the record: This is not about giving a friend 5000B because he forgot his wallet one evening.

Some time ago I also asked a rich friend if I can borrow 50k for two weeks. He said no. Ok, accepted. I won't ask him again, and we are still friends.

My Thai son started university, his face is very Thai (and handsome), his name is very Thai and his family name is very western.

 

Didn't take long before one of the boys in his class asked to borrow 5,000 to help his poor mother with many promises of repayment. My son discussed with me, saying he thought the classmate was genuines and he gave his classmate the 5,000BAht.

 

Two years later my son mentioned to his classmate 'when are you going to return the money you borrowed?  Classmate furious and said 'if you can't give me 5,000Baht your not a nice friend' and he quickly walked away. Other classmates then revealed 'there's no poor mother, the boy is a compulsive football gambler and he owes money / big money to many other students.

 

Son shared the discussion details with me and continued 'dad, I will never again lend money'.

 

Over next several years (his uni program 5 years) he had many approaches for loans. He was ready every time 'Ohh I have no money, I was just going to ask you to loan me 2,000Baht, can I have the money now and put his hand out'. 

 

The word spread quickly, son got no more requests to lend money to other students.

 

I have a few friends I have lent money to and they have lent money to me.

It comes in handy, makes life easier.