Raising A Thai/farang Child In Thailand

[EndofDays]

My wife and I are returning to Thailand next month and then I will go back to work outside the country. We found out that she is preganant but still wants to go back to Thailand to be with her family. My family in the U.S. is not in the best of health, getting up there in age and really can't assist her with the baby. She has a great family circle that can help her out in Thailand and her aunt has already said that her daughter will live with my wife to assist her. My problem is not with Thailand itself but with all its "troubles". Most of the mess going on in Bangkok, political and otherwise is rarely felt outside Bangkok but the pass few years does seem to trend ill for Thailand. Attitudes are changing and it would be nice to keep a government in power for at least a few years. We already discussed that the child will go to a private school or return to the U.S. when it is of school age. To all the parents out there, What is your opinion on giving a birth and raising a Thai/Farang child in Thailnad...Pros and Cons. I'm afraid of letting the kid even get near a street or even close to a vehicle in this country. Two good friends, one a long-time resident of Thailand, said I was crazy for thinking of having the baby here and raising it, even for a little while, in Thailand.

[coventry]

I've got 3 under 18 months old and I'm not worried and I really can't understand why you are ?

[EndofDays]

I've got 3 under 18 months old and I'm not worried and I really can't understand why you are ?

I would be worried even in America...it is called being a parent but in my country there isn't the constant threat of a coup every few years.

[coventry]

I've got 3 under 18 months old and I'm not worried and I really can't understand why you are ?

I would be worried even in America...it is called being a parent but in my country there isn't the constant threat of a coup every few years.

There is no threat here. Who are you in fear of ? So the military have a coup how does that effect anything. I've only been here for one and never saw a soldier.

[deprogrammed]

I've got 3 under 18 months old and I'm not worried and I really can't understand why you are ?

I would be worried even in America...it is called being a parent but in my country there isn't the constant threat of a coup every few years.

As sentient being you are right to have concerns. Many dangers with youth culture - not to mention motorcycles, health risks, learning to think, formostly, like a ferang, poor education - even when paid for, to mention but a few.

Ofcourse anyone having three under 18 months is quite profane - is that even possible

Edited May 12, 2009 by deprogrammed

[coventry]

I've got 3 under 18 months old and I'm not worried and I really can't understand why you are ?

I would be worried even in America...it is called being a parent but in my country there isn't the constant threat of a coup every few years.

As sentient being you are right to have concerns. Many dangers with youth culture - not to mention motorcycles, health risks, learning to think, formostly, like a ferang, poor education - even when paid for, to mention but a few.

Ofcourse anyone having three under 18 months is quite profane - is that even possible

Daughter just coming 18 months and twin boy and girl aged 4 weeks. What's your definition of 'profane'?

[deprogrammed]

I've got 3 under 18 months old and I'm not worried and I really can't understand why you are ?

I would be worried even in America...it is called being a parent but in my country there isn't the constant threat of a coup every few years.

As sentient being you are right to have concerns. Many dangers with youth culture - not to mention motorcycles, health risks, learning to think, formostly, like a ferang, poor education - even when paid for, to mention but a few.

Ofcourse anyone having three under 18 months is quite profane - is that even possible

Daughter just coming 18 months and twin boy and girl aged 4 weeks. What's your definition of 'profane'?

Uninitiated - in the sense that your chidren are still infants. The OP intimates he is concerned with growing up. Maybe your just an easy going type of guy - best way I suppose

[EndofDays]

I've got 3 under 18 months old and I'm not worried and I really can't understand why you are ?

I would be worried even in America...it is called being a parent but in my country there isn't the constant threat of a coup every few years.

There is no threat here. Who are you in fear of ? So the military have a coup how does that effect anything. I've only been here for one and never saw a soldier.

Ok, you don't worry but I would like to keep that option if that is ok with you. Sheesh.

[coventry]

The OP intimates he is concerned with growing up. Maybe your just an easy going type of guy - best way I suppose

I too am concerned about my childrens future and no I'm not "easy going". I see no more threats to my children, here in Thailand, than I do with anywhere else in the world. You can't wrap children in 'cotton wool' all the time, no matter where one lives. Thailand has it's faults but I choose to raise my children here. When they're old enough to understand then the choice is their's as wher they want to live.

The OP specifically mention the 'coups' as if it effects peoples day to day life. Well it doesn't.

[coventry]

Ok, you don't worry but I would like to keep that option if that is ok with you. Sheesh.

What's the "option" you want to keep ? The option to 'worry' ? Cripes Edited May 12, 2009 by coventry

[think_too_mut]

I too am concerned about my childrens future and no I'm not "easy going". I see no more threats to my children, here in Thailand, than I do with anywhere else in the world. You can't wrap children in 'cotton wool' all the time, no matter where one lives. Thailand has it's faults but I choose to raise my children here. When they're old enough to understand then the choice is their's as wher they want to live.

The OP specifically mention the 'coups' as if it effects peoples day to day life. Well it doesn't.

You are not concerned, you can't even imagine that Thailand may turn into Burma type of state (today's the Sydney Morning Herald has even pronounced it : Thailand is at the brink of being a failed state) .

Coups mean a failed state.

What choice children "old enough" in Burma have today?

[deprogrammed]

The OP intimates he is concerned with growing up. Maybe your just an easy going type of guy - best way I suppose

I too am concerned about my childrens future and no I'm not "easy going". I see no more threats to my children, here in Thailand, than I do with anywhere else in the world. You can't wrap children in 'cotton wool' all the time, no matter where one lives. Thailand has it's faults but I choose to raise my children here. When they're old enough to understand then the choice is their's as wher they want to live.

The OP specifically mention the 'coups' as if it effects peoples day to day life. Well it doesn't.

Having worked and lived in many countries I must disagree. Thailand is unstable and highly dangerous especially for kids. If you really believe Thailand is safe for your kids then I must change my definition of profane

[EndofDays]

Ok, you don't worry but I would like to keep that option if that is ok with you. Sheesh.

What's the "option" you want to keep ? The option to 'worry' ? Cripes

I have seen enough death and decay in this world to see what a piece of work it is that we live in. At one time, Thailand was considered one of the safest places to take a vacation but the changing elements are taking its toil. Even though you don't feel much of the political upheavel once you get out of Bangkok what will be felt are the economic changes that will come with it. I have come to the conclusion that a representative/parlimentary democract will probably never take hold in Thailand and I am worried what will finally take hold. This posting was to get opinions and pros and cons. I know yours now so you can go away. I'm sorry if my worrying offends you.

[MJo]

For once i have to agree with Coventry.

My daughter is three and half weeks old and having lived in europe, US, africa and asia i don't see anything in thailand suggesting this is not good place for kids.

I mean all the politics here does not really effect me or my family, traffic related risks can be taken care of with acting responsible and acquiring car seats etc just as in europe. I have no problems taking my kid to any shopping malls or hospitals etc in Thailand as they are extremely safe and also children friendly with clean and nice changing rooms and feeding rooms available.

I claim that health care in private hospitals here is good value for money and far better than anything i could afford back home. And i feel streets at least in downtown Bangkok are far more safe than in my home country (Northern Europe). Also what is missing in Bangkok is the junkies and drunks approaching you on the streets and public transport daily basis.

Education is one thing and in few years time i need to think what is best for the kid schooling wise but until then i prefer to raise my kid here in Thailand vs Europe.

Now for those that come and say "yeah it's ok as long as you stay in gated communities or smack downtown Bangkok" tell me how safe it is to live normal working class neighbourhoods in London or Los Angeles ? I bet there is much more crime against "farangs" than the odd few cases here in Thailand.

For the OP, keep open mind and if possible try to stay in Thailand for a bit longer period before choosing which way to go. You might notice that not all that you read here in TV or see in Pattaya news is common everyday occurence in rest of thailand.

[coconutmonkey]

Well, really consider it.......

The things you'll have to worry about are not the same as elsewhere.

In my personal opinion, very much the same as other countries. Okay, there are fewer enforced laws here.... that's the beginning and end of it...... political instability..... not really a concern.

So imagine, traffic rules are non-existent, motorcycles go anywhere....... footpaths, etc. Risk? Being hit by a car or motorcycle, yes.

Education is lower..... so more petty crime on the rise..... but nothing significant for a clever guy who keeps his head on, and his head down.

Violent crime? While this is something of anyone's concern, I feel this is much less than what it is perceived to be, and you still have more chance of slipping over in the shower or getting hit by a car.

I mean, isn't that the way it is everywhere? Falls and car accidents cause most deaths, right? (No, I don't have statistics for all the ThaiVisa statisticians out there>)

I wouldn't let kids out of my sight in any country.............. so why any different?

[johnnymoretti]

I, like the original poster, am a US citizen with Thai wife and baby due in July. We intend to have our baby in Thailand and live there most of the year. As far as your fears, I feel they are somewhat unfounded and borderline paranoid.

In America: Nearly 800,000 cases of missing children per year (ref: http://www.slate.com/id/2157738/)

I feel more secure when I walk the streets of Thailand and have NEVER had any feelings of uneasiness or fears of injury/violence towards myself. In fact, by and large, if you are tending to your own business, most Thais will simply leave you alone if you don't initiate any interaction. In America you have attitudes among certain generations that only spark fear and insecurity.

In my hometown of Khao Lak (Phang Nga) I feel quite secure and have left all my tools in the back of my truck for days without fear of anyone stealing them. In America, I couldn't leave a hose on my lawn or someone will steal it, even if they didn't want it.

When I shop, I tend to get more respect, because I lend respect to the Thai of whom I live among. After all, I'm the foreigner and have encroached on their culture, so I respect it. I may not like certain aspects of it, but who am I to complain or try to change it. In America, the cultures are so diverse that I get lost in translation. I like 'simple' and simple is what likes me.

As far as your child...there is no better experience than 'travel' and 'culture'. I've visited over 30 countries, and wouldn't change the experience in any of them for 100% security. Live on the edge, but live wisely.

You stand a better chance to be robbed, disrespected, victim of fraud, cheated, experience road-rage or simply f**ked over in America than you do here in Thailand. Why? Because I believe my attitude towards life here is vastly different than that of my life in the US.

As far as the politics...perhaps you are oblivious to the corruption in any government, yours included!

[rachels]

Education, you are insain if you think the education is of low standard in thailand, im australian and i have 3 kids in school (bi lingual) and it is the best, my kids are way smarter than kids 2 years older than them in australia and not to mention maths, they know their 12 times tables by the time there 7 years old. Maybee you are talking about the international schools that are only here to make money.

[coventry]

Thailand is unstable and highly dangerous especially for kids. If you really believe Thailand is safe for your kids then I must change my definition of profane

What a KNOB. Change your definition of 'profane' and prove to all that I'm right.

'Jonnymoretti' is spot on with his post. I too think the OP is "borderline paranoid". I think the reason is because most Americans are currently paranoid in believing that the rest of the world wants to kill them. I accept 'jonnymoretti' is American, but he's one of the few who that seems level headed.

[Diablo Bob]

I have been in and out of Thailand for over 30 years and despite it's current problems, I have no problems raising my 3 children in the Kingdom.

The driving habits of the Thai's aren't that bad when compared with my current work place and only marginally worse than my home country.

Where the Thai education system leaves a lot to be desired, I have chosen to have the kids attend International School in Chiangmai and during their vacation periods return to Buriram for a well needed adjustment to life in the village.

Like a few of the posters, I think that the fact that they are being raised in Thailand will be a positive influence in their life experiences. As to the political situation, doesn't concern me at this time, but if the situation were to change, I would make a decision at that time........ no reason to make decisions on what could/might happen in the future.

[deprogrammed]

[Thailand is unstable and highly dangerous especially for kids. If you really believe Thailand is safe for your kids then I must change my definition of profane

What a KNOB. Change your definition of 'profane' and prove to all that I'm right.

'Jonnymoretti' is spot on with his post. I too think the OP is "borderline paranoid". I think the reason is because most Americans are currently paranoid in believing that the rest of the world wants to kill them. I accept 'jonnymoretti' is American, but he's one of the few who that seems level headed.

I think anyone at 56 who has 3 kids under 18 months is profane to the extreme. And a KNOB

[markinoc]

An American friend of mine said that the biggest mistake he ever made was to take is Thai-American child to California to live.

That being said, I've lived in Chiang Mai for four years and see many Thai-American children that seem to have a lovely life. Their fathers live here with most of them. Most of them go to an international school.

I don't think the government is what you have to worry about. It is your wive's relatives that you need to be worried about. The aunt that "volunteered" to help out. There is no free aunt in Thailand. Beware of relatives baring gifts! Also, Thai families are the biggest danger to your child and your relationship with your wife, not the government.

Good Luck!

[think_too_mut]

As to the political situation, doesn't concern me at this time, but if the situation were to change, I would make a decision at that time........ no reason to make decisions on what could/might happen in the future.

Just for fun, apply it at:

Not building a sound house as earthquakes "could/might happen in the future" and they are far less certain than political changes;

Exposing, unnecesarrily, a kid to an irrelevant language and substandard educational system as it "only" might be needed in the future;

Have you never seen what happens to those who do not prepare for the future and wait until it happens?

Can you recall the pictures of people hanging off the rails of the last helicopter off the roof of American embassy in Saigon?

[Robert44]

I have twin daughters 2 years old and my wife is Thai.

For me the greatest thing about having children in Thai is that basically all Thai people love children.

If I take the girls out anywhere, we are always having people come up to play and talk to the girls - never happens in the west.

Western people are just way to paranoid these days.

[pauliepaul]

Its a lot safer here, certainly that parts of england and australia that i know, and when i see whats happening to kids in the uk (my nephews), like getting set on fire at school, drugs, etc, this place seems 10 times better for kids. The main thing is to keep up the education level, and thats not just down to schooling, but to yourself. I cant see what the problem is, thais are great with kids i wish i had grown up here in some ways.

[roiethome]

In the past, I have raised three teenage boys in Thailand with no problems at all, and I now have an eighteenmonth old daughter.

reading about life back home in UK makes me appreciate how lucky we are here in Thailand.

I would be far more worried about raising children if I was back in Europe.

[think_too_mut]

In the past, I have raised three teenage boys in Thailand with no problems at all, and I now have an eighteenmonth old daughter.

reading about life back home in UK makes me appreciate how lucky we are here in Thailand.

I would be far more worried about raising children if I was back in Europe.

No doubt Thais are nice with kids.

So, I presume are Burmeese. Education could be equally bad and political situation is coming closer and closer, the trajectories of the 2 countries may meet within a few years. That is the point.

Another one is - Thailand and UK/West. Looked from that point and ignoring what may be coming, it could be more enjoyable and safer in Thailand.

But, looked from Japan, Singapore, Taiwan, Korea, Hong Kong - Thailand is a shithole worse than Leichester in UK or Gangland in LA, US.

[nembleton]

Just a small adding, one have the right to worry. No need to criticism him for this... I found worry totally legitimate in that particular case. Especially when you are not living in Thailand and you want to go there, you don't know how it is. And from outside, it does look "uncertain", whatever the reality is.

That said, I know a little about Thailand - I live in Vietnam and have been few times there - and I do love that country and Thai people. I guess it is one of a good place to live and most probably to raise children. Much safer than many places in France, for instance ( I'm french ), where even I am a little worry to live in.

Anyhow, if you have opportunity to go there, don't worry and do it. Especially if you have a family circle to "protect" your child. But just take care not to lose control over this and that your child is not only Thai educated. It has to get benefit of both cultures. But that's a personnal thinking.

[EndofDays]

I, like the original poster, am a US citizen with Thai wife and baby due in July. We intend to have our baby in Thailand and live there most of the year. As far as your fears, I feel they are somewhat unfounded and borderline paranoid.

In America: Nearly 800,000 cases of missing children per year (ref: http://www.slate.com/id/2157738/)

I feel more secure when I walk the streets of Thailand and have NEVER had any feelings of uneasiness or fears of injury/violence towards myself. In fact, by and large, if you are tending to your own business, most Thais will simply leave you alone if you don't initiate any interaction. In America you have attitudes among certain generations that only spark fear and insecurity.

In my hometown of Khao Lak (Phang Nga) I feel quite secure and have left all my tools in the back of my truck for days without fear of anyone stealing them. In America, I couldn't leave a hose on my lawn or someone will steal it, even if they didn't want it.

When I shop, I tend to get more respect, because I lend respect to the Thai of whom I live among. After all, I'm the foreigner and have encroached on their culture, so I respect it. I may not like certain aspects of it, but who am I to complain or try to change it. In America, the cultures are so diverse that I get lost in translation. I like 'simple' and simple is what likes me.

As far as your child...there is no better experience than 'travel' and 'culture'. I've visited over 30 countries, and wouldn't change the experience in any of them for 100% security. Live on the edge, but live wisely.

You stand a better chance to be robbed, disrespected, victim of fraud, cheated, experience road-rage or simply f**ked over in America than you do here in Thailand. Why? Because I believe my attitude towards life here is vastly different than that of my life in the US.

As far as the politics...perhaps you are oblivious to the corruption in any government, yours included!

You're comparing the state of the U.S. government with the current state of the Thai government? Sorry, I thought new fathers were allowed to be paranoid. I don't worry about myself, but I always worry about my wife and soon my child. It is what I do. In the army I worried about my men, now I worry about my family.

[EndofDays]

An American friend of mine said that the biggest mistake he ever made was to take is Thai-American child to California to live.

That being said, I've lived in Chiang Mai for four years and see many Thai-American children that seem to have a lovely life. Their fathers live here with most of them. Most of them go to an international school.

I don't think the government is what you have to worry about. It is your wive's relatives that you need to be worried about. The aunt that "volunteered" to help out. There is no free aunt in Thailand. Beware of relatives baring gifts! Also, Thai families are the biggest danger to your child and your relationship with your wife, not the government.

Good Luck!

We lived near her family for about two years and I trust them completely. I have pretty much vetted their family and found them to be exceptional people.

[wensiensheng]

This child isn't even born yet. I doubt he/she will worry too much about what political landscape exists, even when he/she is born. What is more important at this stage is that the mother is in an environment in which she is most comfortable and that the child(once born) is in an environment where he/she receives most love, care and attention from family.

In three or four years time, formal education may become a priority, in which case, look at that at the appropriate time.

As a side note, depending where you live in the US, I think statistics will show that it is a far more dangerous country. I read only the other day about a child shot by a policeman while riding around on a bycycle and waving a toy gun.

I have a 15 month old daughter and I have to say she is very happy in Thailand, but at her age, I suspect she would be happy anywhere so long as her mum and dad are with her. The only caveat I have about Thailand, is that safety standards on roads and in homes could be improved. But to a large extent, this is under the control of the parents.