Sin ( Groan ) Sod For Previously Married Girl

[richm7]

Just some questions? Something's I don`t understand and really want to know.

What is the fascination with these women that makes some guys go completely topsie turby and create a shit or bust situation for themselves, risking their mental, emotional and financial well being?

Why cant they find a normal partner, you know, boy meets girl, they fall in love and spend some years building their lives and finances together and live happily ever after?

What`s the deal here?

Please, can someone explain?

Although you don't mention Thai women directly, I take it that be "these women" you are referring to Thai's (well, I guess the forum more or less dictates that!)

Big mistake in my opinion, because it is NOT a Thai phenomenen. It applies to any nationality. What IS often very different in Thailand (and indeed much of SE Asia) is that it involves and older man who has, let's be kind, seen better days, and a younger woman. Let's leave bargirls out of it so as not to muddy the waters. I'd argue that exactly the same scenario applies for that older, past his prime guy who is very well off and his blond bimbo 20 something girlfriend in the west. Accepting that Tiger Woods is hardly past his prime, so does not qualify in that respect,but do you think he'd have had his string of bimbo's if he'd been carrying the clubs instead of swinging them? Of course not. Think western taxi driver (not a dig at taxi drivers) in Thailand; he's in a similar situation inasmuch as he's relatively well off to a Thai girl therefore a (financially) attractive catch. Any of you old farts out there with a young Thai wife had better understand that very well. Brad Pitt you are not and were it not for your money you'd have gotten nowhere. Does she love you? Quite possibly she has come to love you and, just like the West of years ago, the young girl/older guy relationship in Thailand is not unusual and is accepted by Thai's as such.

So, the fascination is that as an old fart you can find a younger, much younger, partner in Thailand when in the West you would not have a hope in hel_l. And I tip my cap to all you younger guys out there with Thai wives but with respect exclude you as, in the most part (there are always a few plonkers, I know), your relationship is "normal" i.e. boy meets girl of about the same age etc etc. I defy any normal red blooded male to be NOT fascinated by such attention. It's called human nature and hormones.

Finally, as I said in an earlier post, any marriage is a shit or bust situation involving emotional and financial risk. Thai women do not have an exclusive part to play in that production and that is for sure. Many of the blokes who find themselves in the situation you pour scorn upon have already been down that dreamworld path of normality you describe only to emerge emotionally batter and financially raped. And for that little episode there wasn't a Thai girl to be seen.

You make some good points, but most of what you say is already common knowledge.

Everyone has the right to run their lives in their own way. What others do is not my business, but this sort of arrangement wouldn't suit me.

Unfortunately I see these kinds of relationships becoming acceptable as the norm. The woman of no wealth, who prefers not to progress herself by study, working or obtaining a career, but instead seeks to fast track her life progress by playing the role as a partner to some sad old gullible guy or some sad loner who is lacking in appeal and has zilch chance of finding a partner in his own country.

These guys are prime targets and more than willing to play the game.

Good luck to them, if they wish to live a life of make believe in their own little pretend world.

I have always considered myself as having the common sense not to become involved with this sort of crap and will never understand the way of thinking of these people.

Get a Life you presume far to much not all are batting far above their average .....ie we can score in our home towns dont you lose sire of that we are not all losers I could easily prejudice you & judge you as a simple 2 bit bus driver without any brains but I would be very stupid to do please refrain from using silly logic

often western marriages are within 0-12yr of each other with similar hurdle jumping as per quoted included care being exercised or caution .....what ever you call needs to used regards any social status you chose to apply charles & diana or camilla haha wakeup please

money or no money

love or no love please remember posters here are to have feelings flame your own cost coz you don't approve & some of the relationships that don't fit you prefabricated moulds....doesn't make you morally correct unless you have the correct formula that works 100% wind yer neck in a little maybe you can learn a little

Your post is so indecipherable I don't even know if it is directed to me or to BWM. The only part I get is flaming and for the life of me I can't see any, by me or BWM. Can you take another shot at it perhaps after you've sobered up (OK, that was a flame, sorry).

[john_bkk919]

Nonsense. Doesn't matter what someone else wants or why they want it. Your money, your life, your choice. No need to support anyone but the children you create or, if you are a rare saint, adopt. When you learn that you will be free from playing the role of a sucker, a fool, and a tool in this life and much happier besides.

OP needs to man up and stop treating this as a 50-50 arrangement which it clearly is not. He is offering a huge advancement to someone with no cards, period. That is more than enough, no need for opinions on 'culture'. He certainly owes nothing to her father and at 30-something and divorced she should not have troubled him with this in the first place. Ridiculous.

Edited January 29, 2010 by john_bkk919

[BigWheelMan]

Just some questions? Something's I don`t understand and really want to know.

What is the fascination with these women that makes some guys go completely topsie turby and create a shit or bust situation for themselves, risking their mental, emotional and financial well being?

Why cant they find a normal partner, you know, boy meets girl, they fall in love and spend some years building their lives and finances together and live happily ever after?

What`s the deal here?

Please, can someone explain?

Although you don't mention Thai women directly, I take it that be "these women" you are referring to Thai's (well, I guess the forum more or less dictates that!)

Big mistake in my opinion, because it is NOT a Thai phenomenen. It applies to any nationality. What IS often very different in Thailand (and indeed much of SE Asia) is that it involves and older man who has, let's be kind, seen better days, and a younger woman. Let's leave bargirls out of it so as not to muddy the waters. I'd argue that exactly the same scenario applies for that older, past his prime guy who is very well off and his blond bimbo 20 something girlfriend in the west. Accepting that Tiger Woods is hardly past his prime, so does not qualify in that respect,but do you think he'd have had his string of bimbo's if he'd been carrying the clubs instead of swinging them? Of course not. Think western taxi driver (not a dig at taxi drivers) in Thailand; he's in a similar situation inasmuch as he's relatively well off to a Thai girl therefore a (financially) attractive catch. Any of you old farts out there with a young Thai wife had better understand that very well. Brad Pitt you are not and were it not for your money you'd have gotten nowhere. Does she love you? Quite possibly she has come to love you and, just like the West of years ago, the young girl/older guy relationship in Thailand is not unusual and is accepted by Thai's as such.

So, the fascination is that as an old fart you can find a younger, much younger, partner in Thailand when in the West you would not have a hope in hel_l. And I tip my cap to all you younger guys out there with Thai wives but with respect exclude you as, in the most part (there are always a few plonkers, I know), your relationship is "normal" i.e. boy meets girl of about the same age etc etc. I defy any normal red blooded male to be NOT fascinated by such attention. It's called human nature and hormones.

Finally, as I said in an earlier post, any marriage is a shit or bust situation involving emotional and financial risk. Thai women do not have an exclusive part to play in that production and that is for sure. Many of the blokes who find themselves in the situation you pour scorn upon have already been down that dreamworld path of normality you describe only to emerge emotionally batter and financially raped. And for that little episode there wasn't a Thai girl to be seen.

You make some good points, but most of what you say is already common knowledge.

Everyone has the right to run their lives in their own way. What others do is not my business, but this sort of arrangement wouldn't suit me.

Unfortunately I see these kinds of relationships becoming acceptable as the norm. The woman of no wealth, who prefers not to progress herself by study, working or obtaining a career, but instead seeks to fast track her life progress by playing the role as a partner to some sad old gullible guy or some sad loner who is lacking in appeal and has zilch chance of finding a partner in his own country.

These guys are prime targets and more than willing to play the game.

Good luck to them, if they wish to live a life of make believe in their own little pretend world.

I have always considered myself as having the common sense not to become involved with this sort of crap and will never understand the way of thinking of these people.

Get a Life you presume far to much not all are batting far above their average .....ie we can score in our home towns dont you lose sire of that we are not all losers I could easily prejudice you & judge you as a simple 2 bit bus driver without any brains but I would be very stupid to do please refrain from using silly logic

often western marriages are within 0-12yr of each other with similar hurdle jumping as per quoted included care being exercised or caution .....what ever you call needs to used regards any social status you chose to apply charles & diana or camilla haha wakeup please

money or no money

love or no love please remember posters here are to have feelings flame your own cost coz you don't approve & some of the relationships that don't fit you prefabricated moulds....doesn't make you morally correct unless you have the correct formula that works 100% wind yer neck in a little maybe you can learn a little

I was not a 2 bit bus driver, but a 2 decker bus driver and have the brains to drive in the right direction, both my bus and my life, thank you.

Please point to me where in my post that I say, I don`t approve of these relationships?

It`s up to every individual how they play the game, I`m just stating that for me personally, that sort of relationship wouldn`t suit and it would be sad if couples were only together as a sort of mutral business partnership rather than for love.

As I said previous, I cannot understand the way of thinking of these people.

[BigWheelMan]

Sorry, double post.

Edited January 29, 2010 by BigWheelMan

[BigWheelMan]

Nonsense. Doesn't matter what someone else wants or why they want it. Your money, your life, your choice. No need to support anyone but the children you create or, if you are a rare saint, adopt. When you learn that you will be free from playing the role of a sucker, a fool, and a tool in this life and much happier besides.

OP needs to man up and stop treating this as a 50-50 arrangement which it clearly is not. He is offering a huge advancement to someone with no cards, period. That is more than enough, no need for opinions on 'culture'. He certainly owes nothing to her father and at 30-something and divorced she should not have troubled him with this in the first place. Ridiculous.

Good post.

If I were the OP or someone else in a similar situation, then I would sit down and list all the advantages to himself and that of the lady and work out who benefits most from the relationship, if you can call it a relationship.

Anyway, good luck to the OP, others like him and hope it all works out for, ya.

Edited January 29, 2010 by BigWheelMan

[gcrepos]

'BigWheelMan'

Please point to me where in my post that I say, I don`t approve of these relationships?

It`s up to every individual how they play the game, I`m just stating that for me personally, that sort of relationship wouldn`t suit and it would be sad if couples were only together as a sort of mutral business partnership rather than for love.

As I said previous, I cannot understand the way of thinking of these people.

Sorry It wasn't meant to be an attack on you personally but purely an example of false impressions.... one can make assumptions about some one elses situation via postings

there is limited information typing is laborious.... as far as going into detailed information

I respect you chose not to be involved in inter racial relationships/ inter national

you have your own perceived ideas what is correct or advantageous in relationships & there development ....I think a mixed gene pool will benefit the human race by natural selection .........I find it odd how we are only within 6 steps from anyone within our DNA structure .... but some figure themselves on a different path we are human beings providing social structures in which to provide & breed ......don't lose sight thinking you are here for a higher purpose .................nature didn't really intend for us to fly around the planet or we would have wings

Its natural to meet someone of different cultural values also different social & economic backgrounds

I am 45yr old IT/sales consultant with 20yrs experience in computing 1 failed marriage with a daughter of 18yrs from the UK she has finally left full time education & I shall continue to support her emotionally & financially

my current plan is to marry a poor Issan girl from Surin 33yr old unmarried no children educated & currently working as an accountant ......she has no debt but is to consider herself worthy of sinsod value not-disclosed at this point ......

Both her parents are around 75yr give or take 2-3 yr

she has 4 other siblings a brother 35yr a sister of 28yr another sister of 27yr & a younger brother of 25yr

all are educated to college level with varying degrees of success .....all are currently employed

We have an age gap of 12yr she has never been near a bar let alone worked in one ......( but so what )

she has had a few failed relationships since leaving college the last guy left her & married another girl from the same village at this point she decided to take new English classes to refresh her previous English tuition

we met & decided we want to carry on the relationship I actually think we are of a similar social standing.... economically no her parents are farmers.... she has contributed to her family pool . Financially her education was paid for from her family..... I do feel a family sinsod is in order my idea is around 100k 2-3 bhat of gold but the father pay for the wedding why should I lose face buying a wife anything above this will stretch my sense of humour & possibly I will suggest finding a thai counter part willing to pay the same..... also 1,00thb per month for ma & pa no problem there are other family member to share the slack with I am not the bank of farang & never will be ...anything different I shall walk away

I have written these details so the Op can review another situation with similar ideas ....but this is a girl without previous marriage & no kids

how does a guy place a value on a previous marriage & kids

the whole point is not money??? its principal & to establish a precedent early in the family history ....keeping the buffalo (education loan claims ) to a minimum good luck to all concerned

Edited January 29, 2010 by gcrepos

[mca]

Sin sod is paid once. Period. There is no second sin sod in Thai culture. That's the deal. It is impossible to think anything other than that her family is trying to scam you, AND SO IS SHE. They know the rules.

I've been to a few weddings over the years (Thai on Thai) where a sin sod was paid to a divorcee's parents.

Edited January 30, 2010 by mca

[trevorg]

Sin sod is paid once. Period. There is no second sin sod in Thai culture. That's the deal. It is impossible to think anything other than that her family is trying to scam you, AND SO IS SHE. They know the rules.

I've been to a few weddings over the years (Thai on Thai) where a sin sod was paid to a divorcee's parents.

No Sin Sod for me, but I payed a 50% deposit on a new pick up for Papa, and he makes the payments every month! I could afford it, he is making it work and I live in a wonderful, extended Thai family! Only problem I have is which Papa is yelled across the 'courtyard' when the kids need picking up from school!

And when my second-hand van is broken down, then Papa's pick up is there for me to use!

[a2396]

It's a bit late for this in the OP's case, but my advice is to ask about this sin sod issue early in the relationship, before you fall in love and are "locked in" to something. I mean in the first few weeks or even days. I have encountered many women who are not shy to state their "expectations" quite readily. The majority of those women that I have talked to, expect the Farang to "pay up". The amounts I have heard are from a low of 100,000 to a high of 7 million. In my case, I am not interested in marriage, for one reason because I am not planning to take the lady back to my country to live. If one is wanting a visa for his lady to return back home to live, he often has no other option than marriage. Of course, if you tell them no early in the game, you are probably going to limit your pool of interested ladies.

[jackr]

We have never in 10 months had ANY other kind of disagreement and genuinely love each other.

Best have one first then and see how she reacts

On the father, he's grabbing and needs to be told the score... you'll forever be hassled for cash if you give in on this. At the very least, the price should be negotiated right down on the basis of her previous marriage and to show you're not a mug.

[Sabum]

I couldnt read past the first page, too much retardedness up in here. Just making me angry that people like the op actually exist.

Who truly believes you can love someone or even know them after only 10 months? Sounds like the op is a teenager..... You are getting scammed, what you love is a lie and an idea of what you think this girl is like, bah, waste of breath, this guy is destined to be abused and used, there's no saving guys like this. The entire relationship is a scam, and if he was honest and willing to buy his wife this would be ok, but like all fools he is in denial and trying to convince himself there are real positive feelings involved. Didn't have an argument for the 10 months he knew her and that means she a wonderful person? What a fool.

[Latindancer]

I am the OP and there have been many posts here since I logged in yesterday. I have only had time to read a few and skim through others. I will definitely read them properly later.

However I wish to state that the problem seems to have been resolved, for the most part. I became aware that I was stepping on her father's toes culturally, a little too hard, and after she talked with her father regarding my financial state and the other factors, it seems that daddyo only expects 30,000. This is not much money in the big scheme of things. There is an interesting twist though. My original offer was to pay the parents 1,000 baht per month....every month.....not irregularly, as my fiance was. But it seems that a lump sum of 30,000 is expected, with only occasional help given later when needed. Honey-bunny says that the locals gossip a lot and apart from her parents losing face if I marry her with no sin sot, her parents themselves would feel very bad. I get the definite impression that this is the case and not a grab for money. So it's a better deal for me in the long run. It seems that traditions and their interpretation vary a lot across Thailand. Anyway, I could only do so much. If I step on their toes too hard, there will be bad feelngs later, and this is not good. Better to do as Thais do, take the middle path, and avoid making anyone feel bad.

We are only having a small wedding in Bangkok, with her parents and a few of her friends and co-workers present ( and maybe brothers and sisters coming in by bus ), so I am not too fussed if I have to pay for the wedding.

I might add that my fiance is a very honest person. She has never even once given me pause for thought regarding her honesty, despite my testing her on a few occasions. She is also a very sweet, feminine girl, and above all else sincere. So I have always had these things in mind when thinking about this issue of sin sot.

If any of my friends were to visit Thailand, my advice to them would be to stay away from bars and even uneducated village girls, and meet a teacher like my fiance. They are educated and very conscious of their role as a person in society who is respectable and who needs to be seen as respectable. So they are constantly having this reinforced on their consciousness.

I'm happy with the outcome. Thanks for your input, folks. Though the previous poster quite seriously needs a lot of compassion. He has obviously met too many of the wrong sort of girl. This is a country of about 65 million people though, so of course there are plenty of decent people out there..... and my fiance is just right for me.

Edited January 30, 2010 by Latindancer

[chrgrims]

these threads are getting ridiculous. people with good information dont want to post in them cause it just leads to flaming etc. so, the result is that the threads become full of unbalanced info that dont reflect reality.

[BigWheelMan]

Sorry It wasn't meant to be an attack on you personally but purely an example of false impressions.... one can make assumptions about some one elses situation via postings

there is limited information typing is laborious.... as far as going into detailed information

I respect you chose not to be involved in inter racial relationships/ inter national

you have your own perceived ideas what is correct or advantageous in relationships & there development ....I think a mixed gene pool will benefit the human race by natural selection .........I find it odd how we are only within 6 steps from anyone within our DNA structure .... but some figure themselves on a different path we are human beings providing social structures in which to provide & breed ......don't lose sight thinking you are here for a higher purpose .................nature didn't really intend for us to fly around the planet or we would have wings

Its natural to meet someone of different cultural values also different social & economic backgrounds

I am 45yr old IT/sales consultant with 20yrs experience in computing 1 failed marriage with a daughter of 18yrs from the UK she has finally left full time education & I shall continue to support her emotionally & financially

my current plan is to marry a poor Issan girl from Surin 33yr old unmarried no children educated & currently working as an accountant ......she has no debt but is to consider herself worthy of sinsod value not-disclosed at this point ......

Both her parents are around 75yr give or take 2-3 yr

she has 4 other siblings a brother 35yr a sister of 28yr another sister of 27yr & a younger brother of 25yr

all are educated to college level with varying degrees of success .....all are currently employed

We have an age gap of 12yr she has never been near a bar let alone worked in one ......( but so what )

she has had a few failed relationships since leaving college the last guy left her & married another girl from the same village at this point she decided to take new English classes to refresh her previous English tuition

we met & decided we want to carry on the relationship I actually think we are of a similar social standing.... economically no her parents are farmers.... she has contributed to her family pool . Financially her education was paid for from her family..... I do feel a family sinsod is in order my idea is around 100k 2-3 bhat of gold but the father pay for the wedding why should I lose face buying a wife anything above this will stretch my sense of humour & possibly I will suggest finding a thai counter part willing to pay the same..... also 1,00thb per month for ma & pa no problem there are other family member to share the slack with I am not the bank of farang & never will be ...anything different I shall walk away

I have written these details so the Op can review another situation with similar ideas ....but this is a girl without previous marriage & no kids

how does a guy place a value on a previous marriage & kids

the whole point is not money??? its principal & to establish a precedent early in the family history ....keeping the buffalo (education loan claims ) to a minimum good luck to all concerned

What a load of old cods whallop.

I never said I don`t approve of inter racial relationships, my wife is Thai and we have children.

You`re making this up as you go along and forming your own conclusions about things that simple are not there.

I suggest you read the posts properly before responding.

[kikoman]

I understand your situation, I married a lady that was married before and had two daughters, she was raising. The Ex husband was also giving money to the girls, in fairly good amounts.

I married her without paying one satang in Sin Sot, and it was never asked for, my wife's family was/is happy for her to have married, and I have taken over her tasks of holding down two jobs to help her make a good home for our girls. Now she is a stay at home Mom that takes great care of me , the house and our girls.

The girls father continues to pay for their needs, computer, school fees, etc!

Yours is a very tough decision, but I have a feeling you will only consider a positive answer, as love is blind.

Starting out a new life as a married person will at least double your present expenses., without the added burden of paying, sin sot having a wedding and the other activities to get your new house is in order.

We looked at the same issues, paid no Sin Sot, had no big wedding. No one knew we were married, until after we gave a party for family and friends and made the announcement.

I was fortunate to have a wife that agreed that getting our family situated, was our priority, we are very active in the family with no apparent hard feelings over our decisions.

Your wife duty as a daughter is to take care of the well being of her parents, so she must make that decision , not you.

That it is more important for you as a couple to concentrate on your needs first and foremost. As a married secure financial couple. will be in a better position to aid her parents,as well as yours if the need arises.

I feel by her decision of your needs over her fathers desires will be a good indicator of how she will handle your place in her life as your wife.

Wait give her a lot of time to make that decision, I think the health of your having a good marriage depends on it.

It is not easy to walk away from someone that holds a deep claim on your heart, but she must also hold that deep claim in her heart!

Whatever you decide, I wish you good luck!

Cheers:

Edited January 30, 2010 by kikoman

[samuibeachcomber]

this topic has taken on a life of its own.The original poster has definitely had his questions answered and has already thanked everybody for their input.

[aussiecollin]

Are you posative she is divorced...????

[a2396]

I couldnt read past the first page, too much retardedness up in here. Just making me angry that people like the op actually exist.

Who truly believes you can love someone or even know them after only 10 months? Sounds like the op is a teenager..... You are getting scammed, what you love is a lie and an idea of what you think this girl is like, bah, waste of breath, this guy is destined to be abused and used, there's no saving guys like this. The entire relationship is a scam, and if he was honest and willing to buy his wife this would be ok, but like all fools he is in denial and trying to convince himself there are real positive feelings involved. Didn't have an argument for the 10 months he knew her and that means she a wonderful person? What a fool.

There seem to be a lot of guys who fall madly in love & propose marriage long before 10 months have passed. It is common to have amorous gents showing up here fresh off the plane & headed for the alter, before knowing the lady in any meaningful way & add to that those who have been fed the "no sex before marriage" story. I know two very attractive ladies, who have profiles on the internet and have had offers of marriage and promises of houses and cars, before a personal meeting even took place. With such lack of sense on the men's part, who can blame the ladies for taking full advantage. In a few years, the guys are hollering they got fleeced out of their life savings.

[Garry9999]

Sin Sod is the same as buying a car.

If you buy a new car, the initial financial outlay will be high, but it will ride well, be low maintenance and look stylish.

If you buy an old second hand car, the financial outlay will be low, but the ride won't be as good and the maintenance costs will be higher.

[gpdjohn]

I too have married a divorced lass ( 38 then, now 41 ), no kids, college edumacated, & the oldest daughter.

No sid sod, no wedding party, amphur marriage. Never asked for a single satang.

[rixalex]

I know two very attractive ladies, who have profiles on the internet and have had offers of marriage and promises of houses and cars, before a personal meeting even took place.

Doesn't it make you want to throw on a wig and slap on a bit of make-up!

[samuibeachcomber]

Sin Sod is the same as buying a car.

If you buy a new car, the initial financial outlay will be high, but it will ride well, be low maintenance and look stylish.

If you buy an old second hand car, the financial outlay will be low, but the ride won't be as good and the maintenance costs will be higher.

i dont know that this anology is correct,the ongoing costs of the new lady maybe very high,as opposed to the older lady could be low due to lower expectations.As for the new car it would certainly have lower maintenance costs.If you have a whiter thai lady from a hiso background the parents and her expectations of her new farang could be high indeed.

[BigWheelMan]

Sin Sod is the same as buying a car.

If you buy a new car, the initial financial outlay will be high, but it will ride well, be low maintenance and look stylish.

If you buy an old second hand car, the financial outlay will be low, but the ride won't be as good and the maintenance costs will be higher.

No car is an investment.

The moment it`s purchased, the car loses value and will need constant maintenance. As time goes by the car's value continues to decrease, costs will increase for maintenance and keep increasing but it`s reliability decreasing, concluding that it will become no longer a viable commodity

Edited January 30, 2010 by BigWheelMan

[Garry9999]

Sin Sod is the same as buying a car.

If you buy a new car, the initial financial outlay will be high, but it will ride well, be low maintenance and look stylish.

If you buy an old second hand car, the financial outlay will be low, but the ride won't be as good and the maintenance costs will be higher.

i dont know that this anology is correct,the ongoing costs of the new lady maybe very high,as opposed to the older lady could be low due to lower expectations.As for the new car it would certainly have lower maintenance costs.If you have a whiter thai lady from a hiso background the parents and her expectations of her new farang could be high indeed.

Expand the analogy, a Hi-So bride is like buying a Ferrari.

[gcrepos]

OP Thanks for letting us know about your positive outcome

I felt playing / writing out..... mutli case scenarios & being controversial

being devils advocate would produce & provoke some printed opinions rightly or wrongly debated

but at least they can be read through & reviewed (scoffed or scorned at or viewed objectively )

all readers form their own opinions

Some people find the subject entirely new Sin sod is not talked about in the UK in general conversation

most first learn about this when taking up with an Asian gf often she will start the subject or another guy will possibly joke about it telling the guy to expect to pay this undisclosed amount for his potential bride then further research is carried out forums like TV can be very informative & can help produce a well balanced view

Other posters shouldn't fear input... all opinions with reason behind them will be evaluated by concerned readers

1. some guys marry bar girls & live happily ever after good for them

2. some girls marry thai guys almost zero input

3. some guys meet via web dating

the list is endless regards how one has met there potential or current partner

Good debate & informative replies should be welcomed with open arms for the benefit of us all

I read thai ladies forums there seems to be more unity involved I have yet to read comments so rude as what utter cr*p written I am quite sure at times people feel like writing it but refrain from being quite so rude

I would like to thank the OP posters alike

[Latindancer]

Thankyou, gcrepos. I am happy with the result. Both my feelings and her parents' were kept unhurt, except during the negotiations.

I felt quite cranky, and apparently so did her father.

It was just like bargaining with the family for anything else. I took it to the point where I could definitely tell that they would be offended if I were to try to pay them X amount, in order to establish their real limits. Then I backed off.

This thread has produced some ....er.....interesting responses. Some people gave constructive responses, some played devil's advocate consciously, and some did so just by being ornery. Whichever they were, I appreciate the opportunity to have bounced the idea off you all.

Edited January 30, 2010 by Latindancer

[473geo]

Thanks Op...don't recall a thread where the op has come back and given up the agreed sin sod........as a guide for others

Best wishes

Geo

[Loz]

I'm glad the OP seems to have found a balance. I would just add this.

If you have all the feelings you need to be in love, and then someone asks you for money, you owe it to yourself to slip out to the loo. have a wank. Come back and listen to the question again with fresh ears.

I suspect no forum intervention will be required.

In fact, insist that all money related conversation occur AFTER you have blown you load. I think this therapy would go a long way to helping ensure quality decisions are made by the make members. (pun intended).

[Loz]

They say in diet advice. Don't go do your weekly shop on an empty stomach... same theory, right?

[maraudingscot]

Tell both the girl and her father you have had a better offer.

Details as follows,

23 years old, never married, university educated, currently working, speaks perfect English, great sense of humuor, good natured, has a personality (hard to find in some), owns her own house, has her own car (not sure on details regards finance, but suspect paid in full), willing to relocate overseas, not in any rush to have children, no, repeat no sin-sot required, no details on student loan (never asked).

pm for details if interested.

Cool, I know old post, she still available. even with a few extra years on the clock