Secret Women's Business

[PattayaOneTeam]

Secret Women's Business

Last month I wrote an article 'Cosmo Comes to Pattaya' in which I gave my opinion on two Cosmopolitan magazine-style advice columns found while browsing the Yahoo website. Both columns were obviously directed at the females of the species but I read them anyway. The first one let us know 'What Stresses Men out on a First Date' while the second passed on 'Eight Things Guys Notice about You Instantly'. I compared the authors' insightful suggestions, which may or may not work in the modern world, with life here in Pattaya, where they definitely don't work.

Never let it be said that I don't keep trying to help out my fellow man because now I've found another treasure chest of knowledge written by Jerusha Stewart which purports to share “Five secrets to making him love you”. What a hoot! Ms Stewart is the author of a book The Single Girl's Manifesta. Strangely enough, I found all her suggestions except one made a lot of sense, although possibly not in the way she intended.

The first tip she had for her single sisters was to “Share an activity”. She suggested “becoming gym buddies” and cooking meals together as a way a woman can “increase the things [she has] in common and experience a deeper bond” with her man.

It has been my experience that this is a BAD idea and the least interests a couple share the better they will get along. In Pattaya this works fine because foreign men have little or nothing in common with Thai females half their age. Having different languages, different cultures and different interests simply means there are fewer things to argue about. 'Back home' it is a different story and any woman who thinks that sharing her boyfriend's hobbies or interests will bring them closer is heading for disaster. First of all, “cooking meals together” is OUT. Also rule out sports and games; in fact anything competitive. Men like to win, so if she becomes better than him it will decimate his ego. Continually beating her boyfriend at Scrabble, tennis, golf or bowling is a sure way for a lady to be shown the door. Joining him for his weekly poker night with his friends is another disaster. After she takes home a few big pots of cash the guy will be given an ultimatum: “dump her or we dump you.”

The second piece of advice was to “Cheer him on”. This immediately conjures up a lot of wild imagery but Ms Stewart was not talking about sex. She was suggesting that a boyfriend “would probably appreciate a compliment now and then.” This I can agree with because men welcome an ego boost or compliment just as much as women. Nothing puts a man off as quickly as being belittled or unappreciated by his girlfriend. Word of warning to female readers; unless your boyfriend is bisexual or an interior decorator, don't follow Ms Stewart's suggestion to “try a simple off-the-cuff statement, such as: 'You look so good in that shirt - it really brings out the colour in your eyes'.”

“Let him be himself” was the next suggestion and Ms Stewart prefaced her argument with, “Most women find it hard to love guys just the way they are. We want to change their hair, their clothes, their job, and sometimes even their friends to fit our ideal.” I could not agree more.

There is an old joke which goes; “Men fall in love with a woman hoping she will never change; women fall in love with a man hoping he will.” The truth is that women are always trying to mould us into something we are not. We don't want to be better human beings, we don't want a better-paying but infinitely more boring job and we don't want to mow the lawn when there is a perfectly good football game on the telly. We get enough orders from the boss at work and don't need to be told what to do when we relax or play.

Thankfully, Pattaya ladies are different and, unless we are rolling drunk to the point of injuring ourselves or others, we are rarely told, “Don't you think you have had enough to drink?” We can stay out late with our mates and the girlfriend's main concern is that we get home safely - at a time of our choosing.

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http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/files/download/665-pattaya-one-issue-8/

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-- Pattaya One 2011-01-31