SixNine

Ah yes... I forgot... Thanks everyone for your replies...

Hi mkawish,

first thank you for your offer to help me if i need. I will ask u to help if i see that its necessary...

I am not an fragile person... I am 36, good looking and i was always self confident. I am the type of "mother-in-laws-darling" or "everybodys darling".

But what happened to me in the last 5 years its an really long story, and i dont want to tell everyone as well... Its too much...

Well, i have to say that this isnt the whole story... I can say that i always tried to be good to my ex and help where i could...

I did so many things (before of this part of the story) and never got an simple "thank you" back...

I am an person who is happy when everybody around is happy too. And i like to give and to share....

No one really believed me, what was going on, specially in that time or that house we lived together.

I never did something bad to anyone, many times i had to bite the bullet and also bite on my tongue for not speak out what i wanted to say...

I always tried my best for everyone (included my ex-gf) dont lose their faces....

Do anyone think i am an masorchist or like to suffer? No i dont...

Do anyone think that i wanted to live with my ex and her mother? No i didnt wanted....

In the end, i always thought about my daughter, this is the only i was thinking of, to give her an good home and good life... Even if its not comfortable for me...

But my ex-gf didnt think of her daughter, because if she would do it, she would have seen the MANY chances i gave her, not only that time by living together for an time until baby grew up and understand...

Before of this chance, i made so many good things, so many chances for her to give an good life to our baby. She always agreed and (with pressure from her mother), later refused everything....

U know very well, this is issaan style. Her mother mean more to her then her own daughter.... This is my point of view...

At this time in that house i called my best friend every day telling him the new storys of the past day... I had to speak with someone...

It was a running gag to lighten up my day even in this bad and psychological destructing situation...

I lost about 20% of my weight and was in an bad psychological situation because i couldnt take it any more what was happening and how things had reached a pretty pass... After all my efforts....

And the worst was that baby was drifting away and i couldnt do much to change it...

Do u know this family: Click

My best friend always asked me: tell me the latest news of the flodder family..... The only time in the day i could smile, even if it was sad....

Of course my ex-gf have another point of view... She always keep telling me: u had the chance to be with your daughter but u left.... Its a mockery....

Even my best friend didnt really believe me first, (and his thai wife), even though they know that i NEVER lie...

When i left HuaHin i went to his house and lived there for 2 month.

After the first month of non contact with my ex, we started to talk on phone, and i always let my best friend and wife listen to what me and my ex-gf was speaking.

In résumé i have to say, that after the first 2-3 phone calls they believed me... They was speechless how my ex treated me and the kind of logic she showed up to protect her mother...

Even if it meant my daughter have to suffer... in the end is always the child who suffers...

Triying to make me the one who was guilty and triying to change the facts... But she is a bad liar and not good at distortion, so we catched her several times triying to distort everything.

Lucky me that i had witnesses, i really started to think that i was the one who have a mental problem...

I couldnt believe how she changed under the influence of her mother...

Now i know i did everything right and i will show very very few mercy to my ex and family....

Well, as i said in my first post, its a long, sad story...

I seperated from my EX-GF when she was pregnant. The fact that she was pregnant was NOT the point to seperate from her.

We was thinking about seperating when she was in 2nd month pregnant, and we still didnt knew it.

We knew about her pregnancy in 3rd month...

She went back to surin when she knew about her pregnancy and i supported her as much as i could.

Even though we wasn´t a couple, i always wanted the best for her. I didnt love her (that was the reason why we seperated when i got aware of that), but at least i liked her very much.

So when my child was born, the first 6 month my ex-GF stayed in surin for get help to care for the baby....

After 6 month my ex asked me if i can help her come back to BKK, to work, but i was playing with the idea to move to HuaHin.

First my ex didnt want that, but after many discussions, finally she agreed....

I found a nice house for her in HH, at least i always wanted my baby grow up in a "more western style", and this mean for me also living in a nice place....

Living in nice places makes people happy...

So i rented an house for my ex (10.000 baht) and my support for her (the baby) was 15.000.

I didnt wanted my ex or my baby lack anything....

I have to say, that my ex wasnt like many people hear in many storys about thai girls want to rip off the farang. She wasnt like that at that point.

She´s just a normal girl, at that point very western style, also about the logic and thinking....

She found a very good job in HuaHin at an 5 star hotel (receptionist and hostess) and her mother (grandma) moved with my baby to HH to take care of her...

This was the point my suffering began....

I also moved to HH and visited my daughter every monday and spent all day with her, because that was the day my ex had day off... But i also sometimes dropped by to say hi....

I wanted my baby to see both parents at least 1 day a week, all day!

This worked for the first 2 years....

They i realized that something is going wrong... Sometimes when i just dropped by, grandmother was drunk and had problems to take care of my princess...

I spoke with my ex about that and she told me she would take care of that.

But she couldnt because her working hours was from 2pm to 2am, so grandma had mostly "nothing in the way"...

My baby was getting obstreperous and grandmas "drunk" days was getting more and more.

So i had the idea to move together to a big house. At least i was paying 15.000 for my own rent and 10.000 for my ex-gf rent.

So i spoke with ex-gf and told her my thoughts...

My plan was that we move together. Everyone get own sleeping rooms, the house had 3...

At that point my daughter was very affixed to grandma and it was nearly impossible to grandma not be around. My baby really got hysteric if she didnt saw grandma even 1-2 minutes...

I didnt understand why, because before, my baby always enjoyed to go with me play somewhere... But at this point she didnt want me or my ex-gf.

Well, ex-gf could have a room, grandmother with baby one room and me one room.

My plan was also to acclimatize baby to me and my ex-gf because she was drifting away more and more.

Then after an time period of 6 month the plan was to send grandma back to surin because this is wat she always wanted.

She always told me (when i caught her drunk again) that she miss her village and wanted go back.

I would put daughter in kindergarten and hire a nanny to help me with my baby after kindergarten´s out until bed time...

I also told my ex gf that i will never control her life and she was free to do whatever she wanted and with whoever she wanted. And if she would find another boyfriend, then we could sit together again and think about an solution also for the new situation...

Well, as i say, everyone agreed to that... But then (when we moved together) my nightmare began...

I was always struggle to be polite, nice and good to them and specially to my daughter, but they treated me like a dog... (exept my baby of course).

Grandma drunk more and more, they didnt cook for me.... In front of my daughter grandma always insulting me (i sayed calm)... Until the day i caught grandma telling my baby:

Papa dont love u nadia... Mama dont love u... Grandma is your real mama....

I was shocked, extremely... Now i had the answer why baby was drifting away from us... Even she was only 2 years, she understood, i guess...

I confronted grandma with this words, and in drunk state she lied to my face, even swear in front of her buddha shrine that she didnt say it...

I was very very furious about this lie and told my ex gf..

She was shocked too and really mad with her mother, even insulting her...

At least my ex apologized to me and told me she will talk with her mother...

But i caught grandma doing this more times....

And grandma really did bad things to me, it was kind of psycho terror...

I told my ex gf that its time to grandma leave...

I told her if grandma not leave she will affect our child and baby would start to hate us...

She agreed to my reasoning at this point.

I also was still nice to grandma, i didnt want she lose her face by people thinking we threw her out.

So i gave her the chance to prepare her return to surin, by telling people that my baby now was grown up enough to stay with her parents and that grandma-caring is not necessary any more.

This would be fine for everyone...

EX agreed in everything.

Next day she wanted to talk to grandma and tell her the new agreement...

But next day nothing happened... And next day, and next day....

So after one week i asked her about the outcome of her speaking...

She told me that grandma is going nowhere and if i dont want her around me i am free to leave...

I asked her to think about it again, and SPECIALLY think about whats best for our baby. My question was: DO U REALLY WANT OUR DAUGHTER HATE US WHEN SHE GROW UP?

My ex at this point did hear herself grandma was talking to baby that we dont love her...

But she refused to send grandma back...

My life was like hel_l at that time... Grandma psycho terror, ex started it too and baby didnt wanted to stay with me...

One day, after 4 month living together, i couldnt any more. I couldnt take it any more, seeing my baby is going to hate me.

One more time i asked my ex-gf to please ask her mother to leave and hire a nanny... She refused and told me that i am free to go...

GThats what i did that day... I packed the most important things, put into my car, took motorbike to an friend, told my ex-gf to burn everything i left in the house because i won´t come back, huged my baby and just left.

My ex-gf was seeing what i am doing and not one time she asked me to stay...

I left to an friends house, cutted all money transfers to ex-gf... And i didnt contact her for 4 weeks... Time enough to she think over...

But she didnt... She moved out the house because she couldnt pay the rent and moved to a very "cheap" apartment... I saw it after 2 month and i was shocked...

Well, after 4-5 weeks a lot of crying (i thought i wouldt see my baby for years) i found out where ex.gf was living with grandma and contacted her...

I agreed to help with 5000 baht for swaddling bands, milk, cloth and things baby needed...

Ex-GF sent grandma back to surin (with my baby) for withdrawal treatment... ALL THE TIME i was asking my ex-gf tomplease give my daughter to me until everything is ok again. At least it would be better then send her to surin with grandma.

But she always refused.

I also coudnt cut all money of my support, because at least it would be my baby who suffers....

So i had no chance until now to get my daughter living with me.

But now time is off... I cant live with that, and at least no one showed ever mercy to me or specially to baby, so why should i mercy one of them?

It passed 6 month now, today baby have b-day and i am in germany right now... Full of new energy to come back and fight for my daughter...

Thats the story...

Nadia-Isabel in May.... Miss her so much....

Hi Thaivisa members,

i would like to know if someone knows a good lawyer who speaks good english to help me getting custody for my child.

My daughter is 3 years old. I am german and its an long and sad story, but now i am ready to fight for the best of my child.

I want custody for her.

Soon i will make the german passport for her, her mother agree to sign the papers.

Right now i am just on birth certificate as father.

After that i want to start the custody case.

I am paying for her support every month right now, my ex-GF is working in an hotel in central thailand and my child is in surin, growing up with her grandmother.

Without my support it would be not possible that she takes good care of my child.

So, what chances i have to get custody, and where do i find a good lawyer that won´t ripp me off?

Thanks in advance for any suggestion...