DJ Pat

They could save some money - not much tho - by getting rid of the security guards.

learn some manners & think before posting again

I've decided. I'm not keen on sniff kisses.

I found it quite unnerving at first but now it's part and parcel of you-know-what...

Bangkok Phil's site

No wonder they don't bother. Would you?

Ya know, it's this exact kind of thread ("dictionary definitions of the sniff-kiss") that Bangkok Phil cites when he wants to make fun of Thaivisa....

But since we are not all bitter english teachers, not all of us read Bangkok Phil innit!

Has that guy still not figured out how to get on a plane and head back to from whence he came?

That said, a few of his whinging sessions that someone printed out to me to read are pretty amusing... what is his site?

Bangkok Phil - can't get a link to the site anymore.

"For bitter english teachers"

But Pat, you really are posting some utter <deleted> these days mate!

Backpackers, English Teachers, what next?

Rich Kids with Trust Funds living in Thailand moaning about English Teachers and Backpackers??

Rich kid? Me? No way mate! I'm trailer trash and low class third world ugliness rolled into one. Trust fund my arse.

Better be careful what's said, the mods shut down my other thread about backpackers for the reason that it wasn't original.

The tellers employed at these post offices and the benefits office will be hi-so people from high class families, and this will be their 'work experience'

Thaksin himself will work dressed in drag to ensure standards are kept, and new games and giveaways will be introduced, like prizes for the 1,000th person signing on.

My rant about the idiots in Pattaya is in the Pattaya forum, about the post office and dole office opening in Thailand.

Complimentary beer will be offered to those awaiting a free window to become available so they can redeem their welfare payments.

Oh Oppinionated One:

What would you say about the mental state of a self-described EXPAT who has spent a solid year and a half writing 1,853 letters to post on this forum? That’s, I believe, as stated in your profile, to the tune of 3.4 PER DAY. What’s the motive?

My non-back-packing son says 'tell him to get a life'.

I'm bored, sad and lonely as well as having a lot of time on my hands... What did you expect? Serious denial? An attempt by yours truely to appear to have lots of mates and is always out on the scene? Sorry to disappoint.

I've no shortage of mates but I'm still trying to find a life.

(Continued)

Also on the longer term agenda was a treaty, yet to be drawn up by the Education ministry of Thailand and the UK Benefits agency to create a "back to work" scheme for those on benefits who were able to return to work, and job placements in Thai Government schools were to be introduced.

"We need to raise standards of TEFL (Teaching English as a foreign language) teachers by 1000%" said Thaniya Chatchantana, spokesperson at the Education ministry

"and this is only the beginning. The current standard of English teacher in Thailand is simply unacceptable, this way we can oversee the rehabilitation of those who haven't worked for a long time and nurture them slowly through their TEFL courses"

Other plans include a probational 'tagging' system on new employees at Government Schools once they have finished their courses and had job placements, thus preventing them from patronising any risque establishments that currently most english teachers in Thailand are notorious for.

"It's out of the bars and back into work I'm afraid" said Somchai Phomolathen, spokesman for the pilot scheme,

"the days where an english teacher's biggest dilemma was 'will I be able to get up and teach tomorrow if I have one more whisky at 3.30am?' are over now. We need to tighten up and this is a natrual first step"

Also on the agenda was a national English teacher uniform, which would replace the current outfits being worn by english teachers "No offence to Big C's shirts and Bata's shoes but we need to again raise standards of attire" said Thonapol Suttitherapan, "The students need to have decent role models in the classroom. Currently there are none, the situation is in dire need of modernisation"

Existing companies such as English First, ECC, English Click Networks, Siam Computer and Nava to name a few will be paid compensation packages to employ many of the individuals on training courses and enable them to become familiar with regular teaching practices.

"This is almost like a revolution in the teaching community here in Thailand" said ECC's director of operations, who declined to be named.

"They will learn important skills such as the New Interchange teachers guide and how to ring in sick properly with the correct tone of voice"

The British postal service, Royal Mail, has announced a controversial plan to extend its post offices overseas for the first time, with a major branch and office in Pattaya, Thailand as well as a smaller operation on the island of Koh Samui, which has been in the news recently due to the unfortunate murder that took place over the new year.

The aim of the expansion was to make available services for UK nationals who recieve state benefits (welfare) to be able to cash their giros (cheques) more conveniently once they recieve them avoid the expense of having the money sent over through another bank or money sending facility. "The move makes sense" Joseph Stallon, International PR officer, was quoted as saying "More and more Uk nationals quit for Thailand each year so we may as well make life that bit more convenient"

The moves have angered the Benefits Agency (Welfare office) who claim that they may need to follow suit and open assesment centres in Bangkok and Pattaya to assess and renew benefits for claimants residing overseas, particularly Thailand.

Human Rights spokesman Theresa Conran welcomes the move, saying "Why do these claimants have to fly halfway accross the world at a huge expense, not to mention cramped airline conditions and the threat of DVT, when the British Authorities have an obligation to these people to make their lives as easy as possible"

The expansion plan is part of the wider move to eventually pay British benefit payments out to Thai addresses, given the number of 'expatriots' who now reside there and continue to claim benefits.

Royal Mail Newsletter, January 2006.

Can't see this happening. All mouth and no trousers as usual.

Absolutely! Do we really want to go down this path AGAIN Mr. DJ...?

How about a topic on soi dogs? Hmmm it's been what over a year now?

More reasons to double the air fares from Europe to Bangkok.

BP's vs Expats vs Tourists

Correct there's no conflict between those groups really is there? I mean imagine if there were riots between expats and backpackers and armies of backpackers arrived tooled up in Thong Lor or G*d forbid, Suan Plu!

The worst people you meet in Thailand are the:

'ex-pats' who think backpackers are losers

'tourists' who think they are better than backpackers

'backpackers' who think they are better than tourists

'backpackers' who think all ex-pats are dodgy

Pretty much anyone who thinks they are the heat and bothers to write a post slagging off another type of foreigner in Thailand. Especially of a group they clearly know nothing about.

I suppose it's a never ending war.

What about ex-pats who think tourists are a pain in the arse?

I think we can normally work out who is poor trying to look rich or who is really rich. All the same I think it's tacky when people feel they need tp try and show everyone their gold. I hope they get robbed personally.

"ME" the expat, oh my god, where is this coming from, you, the guy out screwing every college girl you can and doing it only because you can. Why don't you do something to change what MOST people think you are. YOU are nothing but another sex tourist and the only reason you are here is because of what you can get from these girls. You have no intention of doing any long term relationship with any of them. So you tell me and the rest of the people, What does that make YOU???

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don't claim to be pure as the driven snow but when was the last time you heard me boast about college girls? A long time ago. I am in a relationship at the moment so you're wrong there.

If I'm not an expat then what am I? And, how else can I describe what backpackers say to expats????

Leave me alone kringle!!!

Pat i reckon you should face your demons - i suggest you go to gullivers tavern (Kao sarn road - not the suk one) and make your piece with each and every one by buying em a beer. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If any backpackers come on here and slag me off I promise I'll do just that.

But they have to prove they are real backpackers mind you. So we'll have a 'test':

1. Walk 5 kms in the heat with a pack strapped to the front and back, water bottle hanging off and map unfolded to the cash exchange that'll give you 0.00005.7 Baht extra for your pounds.

2. Successfully bargain a vegetarian pad thai (no eggs) down to 4 baht

3. The 100 metres 'Patpong market dash' where you are dressed as number 1 above but have to run from the Surawong end to the Silom end when the market is in full swing in under 3 mins.

4. Finally, down one bottle of 1 litre Thai reverse osmosis drinking water in one go.

The 4th one normally separates the men from the boys.

No mention, no posts or any reference to the 21 year old backpackers recent murder on Koh Samui please. Let's keep this one clean (unlike most backpackers)....

I remember a few times when I was in conversation with a few 'couples' backpacking who complained that they were so bored when they weren't on the move, so I suggested that they could visit the cinema and kill a couple hours with the choice of ten screens around the corner at the local Major.

"How much is it to get in?" was the first question

"100 baht each.... about one pound fifty pence"

"Yeah but that's our taxi money for tomorrow though" was the retort from the couple.

Lessons in life eh? Get the f**king credit card out or phone Daddy on his golfing holiday in Zanzibar, have some fun!!! If you want hardship, go on an aid mission to Ethiopia.

As you can guess, yesterdays episode with the backpackers left me overjoyed.

Rewind facility and X-ray eyes....is that too much to ask?

My mate has a backpackers hostel and I do visit him often to have a chat or view his latest renovations or plans. One thing that always strikes me is that backpackers could easily all have been hatched from the same egg or come from the same island so to speak.

I say this because they are completely and utterly to the book and I mean guide book. Absolutely no deviation from the rules set out in Lonely Planet whatsoever.

Sadly the Thailand edition of Lonely Planet has never been updated or altered to move with the times or change with social attitudes etc I mean this because when you have a conversation with a "Lonely Planet" backpacker they have all visited the same tourist attractions (Floating market, Wat Pra kaew, Chatuchak market) then had a massage, made two beers last all night, had the underlying whiff of body odour, (yes even the females) and are reading a dog eared Harry Potter (boys) or a Zadie Smith novel (girls) whilst avoiding the passing scenery on the bus / train.

Also you may get a few upper class backpackers who declare to an expat (me) that the nightlife scene in Thailand is for 'dirty old men' and perverts, and that any Thai girl they see with a man more than fifteen years their elder has to be a you-know-what. Also they may get clever (yes some do) and actually leave the confines of the hostel to find a banana pancake stall (when eating pad thai noodles with chopsticks becomes tiring), but that's quite a rarity nowadays away from Khao Sarn Road.

I once actually saw a backpacker conversing with a native Thai person but that was a one-off mistake when the Bolivian blind backpackers association (the BBBA) were conducting a field trip to test the infamous theory of the 28 bed dormitory. Apologies were certainly in order I'll tell you.

Now to the backpacks themselves. I personally am ok with a regular sized sports bag or oversized weekend bag for most trips, five of each underwear / socks, couple of t-shirts, shirts and trousers etc. I am fully aware that items can be washed in machines in other nations so I can do that on my travels if needs be and most of the worlds hotels have something called a laundry service or if you are on a miniscule budget, buy some 'travel wash' liquid, which even works with seawater should you need to remove the dreadlock stains from your sarong in a hurry.

So, the above mentioned items, clothes, travel wash, add toiletries and trainers and the bag is about a third full. What else do i need? Well thats about it really. A couple of books? Yeah why not.

So my big question is, what the &lt;deleted&gt; is crammed into your average backpack carried by your typical backpacker? A spare body part? A spare backpack with the same items in? I tell you what I found out : It's books, tonnes of them, travel giudes, Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter and Harry Potter books. What happened to looking out of the window on the train? Or bus? Why bury your head in a book at the beach? Beaches are beautiful in Thailand right? Well f**king take a look at one instead of alienating yourself deliberately from 'common' tourists.

So, upon your return to whatever country you backpacked from. You arrive home. What have you learned about life from all that traipsing, bargaining, living in smelly conditions, being ignorant to real advice, worshipping the Lonely Planet, saying "Oh my god" a thousand times and reading? Well I'd say nothing whatsoever. I think it's more along the lines of: "What a waste of f**king time that holiday was" Because nearly all my friends who 'backpacked' Thailand said they didn't really like it but upon returning for a regular holiday in Thailand (real hotel, soft bed, getting pissed, using a taxi, wiping your arse etc) they enjoyed it!

This post is the result of a five year survey.