brit1984

As an update, I think she now plans to marry abroad without bothering with the divorce here first.

Not sure exactly how that will work or how it affects me but I assume it's bad for her (good for me).

seems strange how the teenager managed to get a man's dead body to the roadside, hail down a cab (presumably with the dead body by his side), got the driver to open the boot, lifted the dead body, and squeezed it into the boot, all by the side of a public road, without raising any suspicions...

...maybe he offered the driver a meter +50 baht deal

maybe opportunity for TAT to attract new high quality tourists

If they do refer to themselves, they'll more commonly use their nickname, in place of ผม or ชั่น. That's one of the fun things about Thai, referring to yourself in the 3rd person. 'James is going to the pub'.

brit1984 is confused

fish & chips is the best food in the world

because only 1 city has enough jobs and shopping malls to attract in thais from the countryside

thanks for all the really helpful feedback

unfortunately today she seems to have changed her mind

i guess things aren't going so well with the "rich guy"

anyway this info will be helpful when she changes her mind again

cheers

so now what? she comes back to you cos her better ATM has shut down?

and you will continue to get ripped off until she finds another ATM?

and you take her back???? I sincerely hope you still have your balls intact!

I didn't read this before my first post , if you are going to that you'll sink deeper in the shit and what about all these people who want her ass?

I don't understand this, you should walk away from this 'with or without the kids'. This is a extremely sick situation.

yes i agree

i think she (with her blood thirsty mind) realized i want a divorce (because i agreed to help her research how to do it)...and now that she knows i want a divorce, she is trying to use that against me...

i will be patient and keep divorce for abandonment (as mentioned by others) as an option without giving away too much information to her

...but obviously i hope she finds a new guy soon as that would make life easier... any takers??

thanks for the replies

she agrees to me having custody and she will sign anything to that effect; she just can't come to thailand as she has made too many enemies here (including some dangerous people)

she didn't request any payment for the divorce as she knows i have no money (because of her) but she just had the idea about the payments triggered by certain potential future events (i think it wouldn't be a deal-breaker if i can't do such an agreement as the whole reason she wants the divorce is to marry a rich guy so she should have plenty of money)

does anyone know if i can get the papers from the local office, then courier to her to sign (maybe at the thai embassy where she lives)?

also any idea how much a thai lawyer would cost for this? thai would be fine as i can have any official documents checked over by thai friends but i'm very poor now so need to minimize cost

I have been married (official marriage in Thailand) with Thai wife for ~4 years and we had 2 kids together.

She left me and moved abroad 6 months ago. The kids stayed with me here in Thailand.

She would now like to divorce officially (and is willing to give me official custody of the kids in return).

She also wants an "additional agreement" that I must pay her cash sums if I remarry and/or have more kids later.

She can sign any documents needed but cannot visit Thailand to attend any meetings/court.

In this context, what is the process for getting a divorce?

And how can I secure custody of the kids?

And is the "additional agreement" she wants legally enforceable? (and how would this be done?)

Any help/advice much appreciated.

with regards to whether or not i should visit a doctor, it's always smart to get a check up, but with regards to my specific case, the replies to this thread have opened my eyes to lot's of stupid things i'm doing, which i should fix before there is any reason to believe there is an underlying medical issue

I have a few too many friends aged 45+ who used to jog or run every day; by their late 40s - early 50s most had to have knee operations.

Cycling is good, as pointed out above, but several doctors and sports scientists have told me over the years that swimming is the best exercise (with sex a close second, not joking) as it gets the heart rate up and uses a lot more body muscles than running/jogging, but without the adverse impact on bones and joints.

This is a very good point and especially relevant for me here in Bangkok.

Back home I was normally jogging on grass, which was often damp/soft.

Until (and if) I find similar surfaces here I should focus more on swimming/cycling.

A quite superb documentary.

just watched it all the way through... will definitely have nightmares tonight

As a life-long runner, I can tell you that we all have limiting factors that keep us from performing better.

If you are a very fit person, that limiting factor always becomes the legs by the time you are in your 30's.

People who were not into fitness at a younger age will usually be limited by their minds or their lungs.

how do you keep jumping all day?

sometimes i spend a penny

A penny costs 5 baht here.

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

plenty of places in thailand to spend a penny for free

Question for the OP... Are you by chance taking Statins to lower your cholesterol? If so, then I would wager that they are causing your issues...

no but i might need to if i cant stop my habit of eating 4 fried eggs per day

Hi OP,

in none of the posts, I read about the pace that you run.

I also didn't see (or overlooked) your height.

Running in Thailand is a totally different story compared to western countries. Running 30km on a sunday morning 5:30am is absolutely exhausting in Pattaya. But running 30km in a faster pace in Germany was a piece of cake compared to that.

My background:

I ran a few half marathons, will run the Pattaya half marathon in July and a few more and now train for the Bangkok marathon in November.

Shoes: Highly overrated unless you really have the wrong shoes/feet. But THIS, you should feel in your knees after 1km.

Food supplement: Careful with this. With normal nutrition, you should cover your needs.

Drinking: Bottled water - and green tea as it contains sugar - will help you with long runs (20km+). Short to mid runs are easily covered with bottled water.

I think you might not have adapted your pace to your physical condition and / or weather conditions. Especially pain in your thighs and calfs is a sign for that. Go the distance first (slow) and then increase the pace.

Do you have a training plan which mixes long slow runs (once a week), shorter quick sessions and maybe interval runs?

I can not give you a solution now as there are too many unknown variables.

If you have questions, get back to me with a PM

Kind regards

thanks

i'm 183cm and 80kg, and i run around 8-10km in 1 hour

the difference in conditions/climate vs home is a recurring theme i should pay more attention to

i definitely need more variance in my training, i had just been doing the same every time

Hi Brit1984,

I'm a fairly experienced runner and have run and raced a lot in Thailand over the past few years. A few comments:

- You mention that you used to run about 2 hours a day, every day, when at Uni. I'm not clear whether you're attempting to do the same thing now, but I guess you at least have an expectation of being able to build back up to that. In my opinion, 2 hours a day, 7 days a week is overdoing it unless you a very serious amateur or an elite. You can get away with these things when you're a teenager, but even at 29, that is too much in my view. I think you should have at least 1 day totally off running. If you are still in the "getting back into it" mode, then I would suggest no more than 4 days running, with possibly an extra day doing some other exercise like swimming or gym work.

- I was quite fit when I was in the UK and then didn't do any running at all for 2 years when I first came to Thailand. When I went out to do my first run in Thailand I had to have a walking break on a lowly 5 mile training run. It must have taken a good 6 months to build up from there to anything like my previous level. In other words, don't expect too much too soon....build it up slowly.

- Running in Thailand is much harder than the UK due to the heat, humidity, air pollution, dogs and lack of pavement to run on. However much you get used to it, it will probably never be possible to get back to the level you had before in the UK.

- You should be running at 6am.

- Eat about an hour before you run. I find porridge is the absolute best energy food for a run. Definitely don't eat sweet things leading up to the run and don't stuff yourself just before you start.

- I find that some days the legs feel good and some days I feel like I have no energy or power right from the very first steps. There doesn't seem to be much rhyme or reason to it, it's just one of those things. But you do get to recognise the feeling of being "on a bad day" and just don't read too much into it and struggle through the run in a low gear.

- I note the points made about stretching above. I've never been a big fan of stretching myself. However, I would recommend some very basic stretches before you start. Just lifting up each of your knees to waist height a few times. Possibly holding your feet to your bum. Don't over do it, but a couple of basic stretches like I've mentioned does make a difference in my view.

- Frankly - and I know this is contrary to what some people have said above - but I would fully expect aching leg muscles to be the limiting factor. It's difficult, because we don't know exactly what sort of pain/aching you are experiencing, but I would be much more worried if you said you had pains in your chest. Even when I have tried a long run after a year of inactivity, I have always found it to be aching legs that stopped me and not being out of breath. It seems normal to me.

- At 29 you should definitely not be having any age related issues. You're basically in your prime as far as long-distance running goes. You might be surprised how many ultra runners there are in their 60s.

All the best with your training. I don't know where you're based, but I know there is a thriving running scene in Chiang Mai.

great post, thanks

i will aim to go 6am (had been going ~8am or ~6pm) but my time is flexible so i could go early, and get up an hour earlier to eat (i was eating +3 hours before)

now i'm in bangkok but my medium term plan is to move to chiang mai, partly because i imagine there are some good places for jogging there, although my friends say there aren't so many good public parks there (although they are thai friends with little knowledge/interest of anything "outside")

It's true that Chiang Mai doesn't have much in the way of public parks for a city of it's size. There are basically two in the centre, neither of which are big enough for any serious running. However, a bit out of town you have the Huay Tung Tao lake, which is a beautiful place to run. Also, you can just go out to the country lanes on the outskirts of the city fairly easily, which make for good running.

that sounds nice about the country lanes but i will have to be careful about dogs... for some reason the dogs always go for me when i'm jogging (guess they can smell fear) which is the 2nd most important reason i jog in the university park (students girls being #1 reason)

i will check about the area where Huay Tung Tao lake is located... maybe I will try to live around there (assuming there are some houses there), I don't really want/need to be in the center of town

Cereals and breads are not healthy regardless of what "experts" tell you. Processed foods are never a healthy additive for any diet. Of course you can eat them....but do not believe that they are healthy for you. They do provide carbs for your body, but not the kind of carbs a healthy body needs.

that's interesting...

is white rice better than brown bread (from 7-11) and/or muesli? where i live that is the choice basically

Hi Brit1984,

I'm a fairly experienced runner and have run and raced a lot in Thailand over the past few years. A few comments:

- You mention that you used to run about 2 hours a day, every day, when at Uni. I'm not clear whether you're attempting to do the same thing now, but I guess you at least have an expectation of being able to build back up to that. In my opinion, 2 hours a day, 7 days a week is overdoing it unless you a very serious amateur or an elite. You can get away with these things when you're a teenager, but even at 29, that is too much in my view. I think you should have at least 1 day totally off running. If you are still in the "getting back into it" mode, then I would suggest no more than 4 days running, with possibly an extra day doing some other exercise like swimming or gym work.

- I was quite fit when I was in the UK and then didn't do any running at all for 2 years when I first came to Thailand. When I went out to do my first run in Thailand I had to have a walking break on a lowly 5 mile training run. It must have taken a good 6 months to build up from there to anything like my previous level. In other words, don't expect too much too soon....build it up slowly.

- Running in Thailand is much harder than the UK due to the heat, humidity, air pollution, dogs and lack of pavement to run on. However much you get used to it, it will probably never be possible to get back to the level you had before in the UK.

- You should be running at 6am.

- Eat about an hour before you run. I find porridge is the absolute best energy food for a run. Definitely don't eat sweet things leading up to the run and don't stuff yourself just before you start.

- I find that some days the legs feel good and some days I feel like I have no energy or power right from the very first steps. There doesn't seem to be much rhyme or reason to it, it's just one of those things. But you do get to recognise the feeling of being "on a bad day" and just don't read too much into it and struggle through the run in a low gear.

- I note the points made about stretching above. I've never been a big fan of stretching myself. However, I would recommend some very basic stretches before you start. Just lifting up each of your knees to waist height a few times. Possibly holding your feet to your bum. Don't over do it, but a couple of basic stretches like I've mentioned does make a difference in my view.

- Frankly - and I know this is contrary to what some people have said above - but I would fully expect aching leg muscles to be the limiting factor. It's difficult, because we don't know exactly what sort of pain/aching you are experiencing, but I would be much more worried if you said you had pains in your chest. Even when I have tried a long run after a year of inactivity, I have always found it to be aching legs that stopped me and not being out of breath. It seems normal to me.

- At 29 you should definitely not be having any age related issues. You're basically in your prime as far as long-distance running goes. You might be surprised how many ultra runners there are in their 60s.

All the best with your training. I don't know where you're based, but I know there is a thriving running scene in Chiang Mai.

great post, thanks

i will aim to go 6am (had been going ~8am or ~6pm) but my time is flexible so i could go early, and get up an hour earlier to eat (i was eating +3 hours before)

now i'm in bangkok but my medium term plan is to move to chiang mai, partly because i imagine there are some good places for jogging there, although my friends say there aren't so many good public parks there (although they are thai friends with little knowledge/interest of anything "outside")

Does the OP smoke cigarettes? Have family history of peripheral vascular disease? Does OP know what AM pre meal blood glucose is?

Is the skin of the legs normal in appearance or is is shiny? Is hair distribution normal and equal both legs? especially knees to ankles. Are knee and ankle foot pulses normal and equal?

Can the pain be reproduced by any leg maneuvers ? eg; straight leg raising

Is leg pain the only complaint? No chest pain or sob ?

i don't smoke and never have.

i don't think any of my family have similar problems and they are mostly carrying more weight (and decades more life experience!) than me and doing just as much or more sports.

i only get pain in my legs and it's only really when jogging or walking very far (one day I went house-hunting around the back sois of bangkok for ~8 hours and ended up with sore legs and very red skin).

Nope it´s not.

Minere would be, and there might a couple of other brands (including expensive ones like Evian etc) but I can't recall

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

thanks!... i will change to Minere

One thing that worked for me was to stop drinking filtered water (80% of the water you can find in any shop).

If you make a point in drinking mineral water, you'll have a better overall hydration and that reduces a lot of the muscle pain, cramps, etc that you could have while practicing sport

Hope you find a solution

Cheers

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

yes this is good point, need to be careful here

does anyone know if Singha water is mineral water?

Do squats.. like you were considering. It will help immensely. Just alternative the heavy squatting and the jogging days.

Im the same in that I can't jog/run for very long (im 1 year older than you). I have never been able to although have been trying to change that. I can cycle long distance (100km+) in a few hours and feel fine, but jogging at 8-10kph for anything more than 30 mins is almost impossible for me (I start to feel all kinds of weird). Would love to know how to improve it as have once or twice enjoyed the "natural high" from running, but it is very elusive.

+1 for not stretching, according to current thinking.

Cycling is a good idea. Sometimes I rent a bike and ride around Suan Rot Fai (the big park near Chatuchak) for a few hours. I should buy a bike and do more cycling.

Also important is to concentrate on a breathing regime, you must have a continuous "wanted" supply of oxygen for the blood to pick up to feed the muscle group you are working, in your case legs. If you don't then you will get the "burn". Same with my weight training, was a bit of a learning curve. Seen guys try doing heavy stuff and not breathing properly and get into trouble.

I normally breathe well with my mouth wide open, except when I pass a pretty girl coming in the opposite direction (thinking about it that happens a lot because i jog in a university park, so yes maybe breathing could be ANOTHER issue to deal with)