bangkokfanatic

Despite the 5 year relationship, the land & house, the Toyota & my stepson now really progressing at a private school & our own 3 year old daughter it still comes down to - if I can't "take care" then it will falter. Yes it is love. But economic necessity will outweigh love from any Thai woman.

It is obvious what the problem is. In Australia it would be Bundaberg Rum. In Thailand -

Reminds me of the dive group who were off Kupang, Indonesia about 15 years ago. They were enjoying the crystal clear water... until hey saw all of this stuff come drifting down to the bottom... turns out it was all of their bags & gear... the stuff that didn't float. Followed by their dive boat itself!

The Captain had gone to sleep and hadn't noticed the boat was filling fast until it was too late!

That looks like a Krait. Venomous.

I seriously dislike people who kills snakes.

I wonder if your attitude would change if you found a cobra in your house? And would you take into account the safety of your infant daughter and toddler step-son who had to be ushered outside?

Our home is on a large rural block just outside Thep Sathit - but just 250m from our neighbour's bird aviaries. I'm convinced the aviaries (and the menagerie of other animals the neighbours keep such as monkeys) attract snakes. The last snake the neighbours despatched was a massive python that had gorged itself on a few of their pets. They couldn't get it out of the cage and it was angry.

Whilst I have kept pythons as pets in Australia, they were caged. These cobras have come in from the bush which extends to within 15m from our home.

Sorry if I make you are angry - but it's our kids lives before wildlife...

Pity the woman... We don't know her past or how she became to be a smuggler. ...... What has this "War on Drugs" accomplished but to punish the poor. Drugs aren't evil, governments are.

I'm sorry to disagree but as a person who deals with drug addicts - mostly "ice" addicts on a daily basis I think this is a completely ignorant statement. Meth and "ice", or crystal meth particularly, is highly addictive.

The vast majority of addicts are young people - under 30, and in the prime of their lives. Many start off their addiction due to peer pressure, many also first start whilst intoxicated as nightclubs. Common-sense is dulled, at first, by alcohol. Cheap meth is followed up by an often quick trip into ice. Within weeks the weekend party scene stretches into the whole week. Money and self-esteem disappears.

Then comes the lies and deception to family and friends to get money to feed the habit. Crime - robberies, further drug-dealing or house-breaking, eventually become a necessity for most. Very few are ever able to break this addiction without serious help and intervention. The mental & physical harm the addicts do to themselves is shocking. Just follow this to see some comparative photos - http://www.thegooddrugsguide.com/gallery/before-and-after-drug-abuse/crystal-meth-abuse/index.htm

Pity this drug mule? I don't. I see the results wreaked on others by people like her too frequently.

It is people like this woman who carry this drug so that a cheap supply is maintained gathering more and more into the terrible soul-destroying web our young get sucked into. Just so she can make a quick buck!

She made a very conscious decision to wreak havoc on others - and now is just paying the price that they otherwise would have.

.......You will eventually get a grilling anyway with your constant comings and goings. They were right to be suspicious - that's their job - and you made your excuses, which they accepted, and no further action was taken. Relax.

I fly in & out of Thailand on average about 10 times per year, most often only staying for 10-14 days, as I have a partner, & now a baby daughter, a few hours out of BKK.

I have copies of my daughter's Thai & Aussie passport & birth certificate etc. & my partner's details with me in case of just such a grilling. When travelling together we have been told to enter & exit through the Thai passport queue together so I presume there are Thai Immigration records of the family connection.

I am not interested in retiring yet or obtaining a Thai residential visa as I've never stayed more than 28 days in the last few years. I work in Oz whilst the family also fly in & out of Oz on Tourist visas (except of course our daughter who holds dual citizenship). My partner isn't particularly interested in being in Oz full-time until our daughter needs to start school.

Should I expect this perfect arrangement to come crashing down when an IO starts to question my frequent flyer status?

C'mon guys, it's not their fault, Western women are just "bigger-boned"....

Maybe the murderer drives a Ferrari & is an heir to a prominent energy drink Company? Probably out on bail & in Singapore for business? Did they pay off the right girl's family?

14 year-old Thai girl, 10 year-old Aussie girl or 4 year-old Thai boy - Gen X, Y & Z. All the same - they will play one parent off against the other to get what they perceive as a "need". I'm back on Oz & watched a kid grow up opposite from when he was born. He is a spoilt little shit, given everything from birth by parents with attitude. Now at 17 he sneaks down to the park 100m away to smoke dope with his loser mates. So he & his mates get their licence. Mum & Dad give him a Subaru WRX 2 weeks later! I expect to see the funeral notice within 12 months. You can't help kids unless you put in the time & effort, not just throw cash at them.

As a parent I applaud the OP for thinking carefully about it. I would have bought the cheaper phone however - Charged it, put a SIM in it & left it on the table. The psychology of temptation.....

Trust someone NOT to take advantage of your mistake in Thailand? Of course you can't trust them. Nor can you trust anyone not to take advantage of free cash in Australia, USA, UK, Vietnam, India, Canada, Mexico, Spain, Germany, Sweden, etc etc......

Hi there,

Anyone here ever successfully cohabitated with their ex-wife for the sake of the kids?

From amongst my mates this has only been done once, the two of them are in the same house but barely talk.

My situation is that my kids live with me, the wife is having a hard time being away from them, and the youngest misses her a lot. So, the wife has come up with a plan to co-parent until the youngest grows up a bit.

So just asking if anyone has had any experience with this, good or bad.

Thanks.

On a side note; most of our marriage problems stem from her, she went through big changes at menopause.

If yo go down that road be VERY careful. If in Oz the Family Law Act now covers defacto relationships & you could find yourself dividing assets AGAIN!

Get it in writing & do NOT get into bed with her again!

.....women can be extremely devious, sneaky and cold-hearted.

After 25 years of marriage my UK wife planned a divorce for over a year without me knowing, then it was too late.

This could, and does, happen to men all over the world, regardless of their nationality, or of their wifes nationality.

I planned a divorce from my wife in 2 seconds - the moment that, after 7 years, she told me she'd lied & never wanted a family only a career & money.

Thanks to her I am now having the joy of watching my 6 month old daughter scoot around in a walker...

Move on & move up....

maybe I've Been lucky but I've just been stopped once in 12 years....

Maybe I've been unlucky, but I've just been stopped 365 times in one year.

Our town has a regular police block every day on my way to work. Yes, it's a huge traffic bottleneck and there are few detours available.

After 10 years of this, they know me by sight, but still have to stop, show them my registration, license, and tax tab. I just build it into my regular timetable/routine. They're just waiting for the day I forget one of the three, and they can nab me for the obligatory 200-400B. T.I.T.

Have you considered by purpose to forget one of the items pay the 200 baht and maybe be left alone for perhaps a year?

In my little slice of paradise paying Tea Money will only get you a week!

....... But after a while I started to get irritated as wife's sister would do wash and laundry for her and daughter, but never helped clean the rest of the house, would cook and leave everything dirty for my wife to clean up. One evening I had a quiet conversation with my wife and told her that her sister either had to start helping around here, or she couldn't live here any more. Much to my surprise, my wife said she had been thinking the same thing..... She told me that she would "handle it".

..... there was a not so polite, one way conversation from my wife to her sister, which ended with sister storming back upstairs. I asked my wife what she had said, as back then I didn't understand a word of Thai, and she informed me that she had told her sister she was tired of her sister's lazy, disrespectful attitude, and that either she start helping to keep this house clean, or get out. Sister and daughter were gone the next day. ...... if I had said anything it would have caused problems in the family, but since she is pretty much the "matriarch" of the family, it was her "right" to do so, and that no one would question it.....

Change "sister" for "young brother" and you have my situation exactly. We live in 12 acres in Chaiyaphum province and have the extended family living in another house 40m away. After a blow-up over washing dishes followed by young brother parking the truck in our carport (which he'd been told not to happen under any circumstances) my GF told them to get out. ALL of them, including her own mother (who stupidly sided with young brother)!

They packed up & sat in the carport of the other house for 4 days as they had no-where to go. GF waited until they came with tail between legs. She rules the roost & made it very clear that's how it was going to stay.

Things have gone very quiet now and everybody pitches in. I certainly agree though - when it comes to the inter-Thai family dynamics it does seem better for farangs to remain 2 steps behind the wife. We tend to put our size 12 feet in it!

Your own 5 year old is much more important to you than your wife's uncle's daughter.

You defended your family and your wife should be rightfully proud you did.

Well said!

... and you should take the opportunity to calmly sit down with wifey & carefully explain that to her, including making her understand that your kids are the most important asset that the two of you have together....

What exactly is the supposed reason for adding insecticide to moonshine? I'm trying to wrap my head around that one.

They add it so you get the added benefit of not having to worry about getting Dengue fever when you are drinking yourself to death... you can't drink as much when you have Dengue..

Back in BKK again in a week - and I just know that Miss Bangkok will pester me for another 2 baht of gold. At least it's cheaper - the ex-wife used to demand diamonds....

Used to be a cart lady down Soi 4 Sukhumvit, past the Nana Plaza entrance on the other side, who had the best นั้มจิ้ม and terrific broth too. That was years ago, not sure if she's still there.

She changed sides - now closer to Nana Plaza entrance on the same side. She & her kids seem to alternate running the cart throughout the day / night. It's almost a 24-hour business. But often runs out - and after that just has ordinary Thai soup, rather than the authentic goods...

Pity they don't arrest some of the Thais selling disgusting kebabs around Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza.

I spend a lot of time transitting thru BKK repeatedly and stay in Soi 2, Suk. The only Thai I've ever seen working around Soi Nana is almost directly outside Nana Plaza... All the rest are Arabic-types! Some of the best are over in Soi 7, near Foodland. An Authentic Arabic kebab after a few beer Lao. That's living! (with a disclaimer from my cardiologist of course...).

Does anyone know of any place / nursery to find Mahogany seedlings / saplings around the Korat / Chaiyaphum area?

And, in the same area, teak or neem saplings / small trees?

(And as a Newbie, I'm sorry if this Topic doubles up on one already discussed - I did search for "Mahogany" and struck out!)

Much appreciated...

Sure, everyone's mileage is different though ... 5,000 Baht a month is probably just the right amount to grease the wheels without giving the impression of being a Bank ...

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Interesting figure - my GF & I (well, it's actually in her name as can be expected) have a very large plot of land on top of a hill in Chaiyaphum province on which we have just completed 2 houses - 40m apart. The biggest house is for us, the other for the relatives. The houses look very similar from the road (but the relatives "finishes" were a bit cheaper). We have set aside 3 Rai for the houses and gardens. The rest is farmed by "Young brother" assisted by other family members. They share the profit.

19 year-old "Young brother" is a good worker and has done quite a bit of the labouring / gardening work, including putting in 1.9km of concrete / barbed wire fencing. Planting about 40 trees, hauling a serious amount of rock for a 100m retaining wall etc. We pay him 5,000THB a month - he does about 10 days work per month on our land - the rest for himself on leased neighbouring land. In addition they get free power, water & (new) house. I'm told that to rent an equivalent house would be in excess of 5,000THB per month.

In our absence he is expected to look after the place. Frankly is the only relative that I can trust. Once the landscaping draws to a close he will still be paid the same amount. He spreads some THB to the mother-in-law as well (he gets it because the mother-in-law plays cards and can't be trusted to get it herself). We also let him use our "tuk-tuk" truck and have paid to have his motorbikes all fixed up (cheeky SOB started using mine!).

Recently he stuck his hand out for more - 10,000THB per month - and was told, emphatically, "No" by my GF. He threatened to move out and my GF offered to help him pack. He backed down over a 3 day period.

I consider that I have "helped out" enough - but expect that I will continue doing so. I built quite a nice compound because I intend to retire there in a few years and also wanted a nice place for our daughter to live, not like the old family home. My GF maintains that her relatives can earn their own living. She doesn't want to "help" her relatives so much that they stop working....

It would be interesting to know how much the last guy got fleeced for? Obviously we all can't buy them a resort!

he paid 800,000 baht for sinsod.

Sinsod is paid once! So the fact that your "GF" and her mother is trying to play that card again, talkes very loud about, that she is not a keeper. They would never try that trick with a Thai, who knows the system!

So even the 20 baht is too much for "damaged goods". (with the ex being 76, she might not be that damaged!).

So Mr Arran, wake up. As your "GF" is already siding with her family to fleece you, imagine what it is going to be like in the future!

Are you sure about the "only paid once thing" being Thai culture? I have heard of many women going for sinsod 3 and 4 times and getting it!!

Quite a legitimate question (and one that I'm VERY interested in finding out about. So I entered "Thai sin sod calculator" into my old friend Google and presto - here's an interesting website about how many times the virginity of the family cash cow can be sold for - http://www.thaiembassy.com/thailand/thai-dowry.php

Spiders like that are the real reason for the invention of the good old Aussie thing!

A flat spider is a good spider....