bakswanna

have there been any reports on thai news media outlets?

my torrents are dead! What's the point of living in a country where you can't illegally download movies and other information and share that with others?!?!

You aren't supposed to go to funerals when you are pregnant, then the child will only half-way close his/her eyes when sleeping. My cat does that, it is pretty freaky sometimes...wonder what kind of thai cat funerals are put on around these parts??...

I'm married to a Thai but so what. It doesn't get you much does it. I mean you can get a 90 visa from the get go extended for one month thereafter but then what?

I'm married to a thai, and I have a one year marriage visa, and only had to prove that my husband has a valid bank account (that only had about 7000 baht in it at the time). I guess there are some good things about a non-feminist government, not all the same rules apply...

Suprisingly, there are a lot of veg resturants around, a lot of them coming up in the past few years. My husband is from Aumphur Mae Lao, which has no vegetarian resturants. It was a real problem when I first started to go to his home--no one could actually get their minds around what a vegetarian was. You mean you won't eat this big piece of scrumtous dog with us? Oh, the day his father brought home a rat in the front of the motorcycle, I knew I would have problems! Luckily there is a variety of veg. places, and one just a few doors down from our newly rented house, so food isn't so much of an issue anymore. Thank goodness, though, I thought we were heading towards divorce the day my husband told me that I was to help kill a cow for the village feast!

So many people have told me about the farang lady who lives in Ruammit, but who is married to a hilltribe man and can speak Northern Thai. I hear about her all the time, but Ruammit seems too far to travel...I imagine I'll find someone, but no one actually knows where these farang women actually live, what they do, etc., etc. I hope we meet soon, I want someone to walk around Big C with, besides my hubby, than is!

I really need some advice here, I am at the end of my rope. Please do not misunderstand me, I very much love my husband of 9 months, and he is good to me, or the best he can be in this situation. But since we have married, we have come across several problems, two of which have nearly destroyed us. The first was the worst, but also the one that we have worked the hardest to overcome--he became sick from the advanced stages of AIDS, which came as a shock, considering we had no idea that he was even infected with HIV at the time. Luckily, after a year of unprotected intercourse, I am not infected with the virus. He almost died 4 times in the course of 2 months, and it was the absolute worse thing I have ever gone through in my life. I love this man so much, and to see him so weak and so close to death, I don't know how I survived. But in the past four months, he has been on Anti-retro virial medication, and is responding well. We have a lot of hope, and seeing how far he has improved, I am sure he will survive this. AIDS is a chronic disease, not unlike diabaties, and luckily, we live in an area with good access to ARV medication. Basically, death is not an option for us, and I know that my husband will never back down and let the AIDS win. it is just not an option.

But it is the second problem has much more potential to tear us apart--his mother. I hate her, I am sorry to say. I understand that the only thing worse than watching your greatest love in life die would be to watch your child in the same position. She was very protective of him before, but since we learned of his AIDS, she has increased her protectiveness of him by 20-fold. In a way, I feel it has turned more into a jealousy, as she wants to keep her son only for her. Right now, I am currently living in Chiang Mai, but he is living in his parent's home, and I visit him every weekend. We decided on this after it became obvious that he was responding well to the ARV medication and even more obvious that his mother and I have no chance of occupying the same space together. But after talking it over, my husband and I decided to move to a seperate house in his provence, away from his parents, but close enough to visit every day if he chooses. This decision has made my relationship with his mother even worse, if that is possible. Now, when I visit, we don't speak, don't make eye contact, don't even enter the same room if the other is already in there. It is awful. She complains about me constantly to my face and to anyone who will listen--she is unhappy that I am "taking her son away," as my husband overheard one day. She thinks I can't do anything, from boil water to sweep the house. She doesn't trust my ability to take care of my own dog, regardless that I was the main care giver to my husband when he was at his weakest points due to the AIDS. Suddenly, because it is now obvious that my husband loves me and wants to be with me more than her, she has turned into a non-stop attack on me. I can't take it anymore, and it is wearing on my husband. He told me that he is ready to leave the house and his mother's over-protectiveness. But he does love his mother, and the stress she is creating for him is both needless and detremental to his health. I personally don't care for a relationship with her, but I worry that her constant attacks on me and my husband will cause an irreparable tear in our relationship. What should I do?

Sorry this is so long, but for those who read through it, any advice will be apperciated. Thanks.

I wish I had read this book sooner. I've had it for about 7 months, I found it while desperatly searching for a book on Western culture for my then boyfriend to read. If only I had it before I went to his house, I would have realized that was a marriage proposal! Well, we are actually married now, and I still open it up to try and figure out why the ###### is he acting a certain way. He hasn't read it as throughly as I, and sometimes I think the Thai language parts are a little discriminating towards Western culture--I think they don't leave much room for understanding, but more for judgement. But I still find the book helpful.

As for a Farang woman-Thai man version, ladies, I think we are too much in the minority for there to be a market. There are just too few of us to warrant a book, I'm afraid.

I agree, a Chiang Rai forum would be nice, and a mailing list or newsletter of news/cultural events in and around town. I'm willing to help get it started if anyone else is serious and would like to help.

Two questions:

Does anyone know any farang women who live in Chiang Rai? And by any chance, are they in their 20s or early 30s? I'm new to town, and I really hope I am not the only one.

Also, are there any teaching jobs going at the moment, in town or out towards Mae Lao (Wat Rong Khun area)? I'm not sure who to contact, any help would be apperciated.

Thanks.

Claudia

And does this apply to Thais of Chinese descent?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I was with in one other serious relationship before my husband, and that was with a Chinese Thai. He was the worst womanizer I have ever met in my life, but, intrestingly enough, he had spent over 7 years in England. Hmmm.......

As for immediate citizenship, I am positive that it doesn't work like that, though I keep hearing that all I have to do is ask the correct people at they will magically wave their wand and I'll become Thai. But I like using the phrase, "But I am NOT Thai" in arguments, so I am not terribly rushed to change my citizenship. An address would be nice, though, and I am sure it is possible to be on the house registration at marriage, but can't figure out how. But if anyone has any thoughts...

Thank you

I have recently married my Thai boyfriend, and am really confused about how different the law is for foriegn women who marry Thai citizens. People tell me that I can have my name on the house registration, but how? I've heard that I don't have to show an income when requesting a marriage O visa, is this true? I was told from my husband all the way to Immiagration that I should just change my citizenship, is it really that easy? But I can't seem to get the detailed answers to my questions from anywhere. Exactly how different are the laws for foriegn women? I am currently on a Non-Ed visa, but would like to change it to an O status as soon as possible--I'm graduating at the end of the academic year, but would like to have my visa situation taken care of before I have to start monthly visa runs, and most definatly want to go the shortest and easiest route to residency. If anyone can help fill me, I would be very thankful.

There will always be things that we do not understand and find very difficult or impossible to accept about Thai men--such as mia-nois, the fact that many Thai men could be considered alcoholics, that they are wonderful liars, that they will often choose to be with their friends more than their girlfriends/wives, that they don't show physical affection often and when you request, you are often met with funny looks or even worse, a turn of the cheek.

But we all know this before a relationship, don't we? We know that Thai men have awful reputations about the way they treat women in relationships. But we also know that Then men have really good things about them as well--a sense of responsibility to his partner, that they can be funny and playful and sincere and loving, even if it isn't always in the same way we expect. Might I add, good looking??! If Thai men were really as bad as we complain that they are (and I admit, I am a huge complainer about them at times), then we, farang women, wouldn't even consider a relationship with them.

I just married my Thai boyfriend about two weeks ago, and throughout our relationship, there have been a million problems and a million and a half things that we both have had to change for eachother--even though it always seems that someone changes themselves to adapt a little more. But the point is, if a person is serious about you, he will change for you, just as you must do for him, no matter what nationality he is, or the amount of cultural differences that you come across. Men are men, and relationships are relationships, no matter who is involved.

So, if you are serious about this guy, if you are willing to put yourself and/or your heart on the line, then go for it. If nothing else, atleast you can consider it a new experience and a new story to tell.

Good luck