Converse

Ummm latest update, had a drink and a chat with a couple of female expat friends and they think it could be a boob thing! One of them is petite and can fit thai clothes. She dresses in a modest and elegant way but is absolutely sure people keep staring at her chest (only a little bit bigger than a thai woman) and not her face. She doesn't understand why. The other woman felt the same and think some thai women are envious of what we have in the bra department, which is quite refreshing. We all had a good laugh about it and I feel a lot better about myself since telling them what was happening. I'm grateful for all the posts. I hope this will help other women having the same experience

Sorry for not giving answer earlier to all your good posts, I was experiencing problems with my internet.

I think some members are probably right when they say it's women being catty, my skin colour might be only a fraction of what's causing their reaction.

I don't remember having such problems back in the UK, whatever I was doing or wearing. Maybe UK girls are not that catty. I remember the French girls at school being a bit nasty but it was during my teenage years. You know what teenage girls are like.

Makes me wonder what a Thai girl must do to get her man, she must need a great deal of attitude because once she's got her back turn, there are another 50 girls as beautiful as her waiting to take her place.

Considering what I wear, I don't think it's offensive for the thai standards. I don't do beachwear in the middle of the city or hippy clothes. I wear long dresses, long skirts and capri pants. I have t-shirts with sleeves and baggy blouses. I don't bare my shoulders or wear low cut tops. I try to look smart and feminine, I love my perfume and accessories, I keep my hair and nails in good condition. But I agree it's difficult for western women to keep up because we look different, our sense of fashion is also different, we have greater pressure to look good all the time. I love the girls style here, it's so cute and beautiful but I can't help finding a bit too homogeneous. In the UK and Europe in general, people experience with their hair and clothes. Girls can do what they like and wear crazy things (I think that's what put of many of the male westerners now living in Thailand ) but that's the way they express their personality. I used to see women in outrageously tartly gear, punk outfit, weird arty looking clothes and they were still beautiful ... Here everyone seems to be out the same mould, even teenagers, when they should be creative with their style.

Maybe it's something in my fashion sense that's brushing thai women the wrong way despite all my efforts ... Sorry, I'm not perfect, I can't always get it right. I've managed to stop wearing mismatched socks though

eek, you've got a motorbike, you lucky girl I'm so jealous.

Most Thais can't tell the difference between Africans and Black British and up until a few years ago were incredulous that black people came from outside Africa or America.

Seriously? God I can't believe it!

To answer eek and 2unique, I'm a mixed white/black african with a fairly dark but not ebony skin. My father was Congolese and my mother is French and very white. I think I should have been darker because of my father but it didn't happen (although I have to be careful at the beach because then I burn like a toast) I spent 12 years in England before coming to Bangkok to do a teacher training course, in Silom to be exact. My students were intrigued about my skin colour, but in a nice, amusing way. It was like a mixed african background with parents from different countries was a completely alien idea to them.

I'm still in Silom at the moment and now I realise the stares are mostly from those young, gorgeous white office workers in the mornings BTS. But there was also the older girl at the bakery that was giving me such a sour face every time I walked in I stopped going there ... The women selling clothes on Silom, frowning with distaste and pointing at their rails, saying 'small, small'. Well I know I can't fit their tiny dresses and jeans, but I can fit some of the baggy tops and hell I'm going to buy them! The look on their faces when I walk by wearing the top is absolutely priceless. It's like "Gosh, did you see that? She can wear it!' The women at food stalls behave like I disturb them greatly from an important business when I come close ... The fashionable girls at the mall in Victory Monument smirked and stared when I was looking for business clothes and just on thursday, that very pretty, petite little girl in MBK did a pose and said scornfully 'What? For you?' when I asked if she had size 4 low top Converse. It was for me, there was nobody else in the shop and I couldn't help looking at her like she was stupid and she noticed, that wasn't awkward ... I don't know if she felt threatened by my colour, my money or just because I interrupted her conversation with her boyfriend sitting next to her but her total lack of manners infuriated me, I thought of doing something very brutal and spiky with her perfect hair ... It can't be my looks, I'm pretty average with enough BMI to share with a skinny thai girl. But I must agree when eek said it's not only skin colour. It's like I keep receiving nasty superficial attitude by women trying to impose their good looks on me. I mean even the cleaners here are perfect. Do they expect me to admit I'm physically inferior (big, black, strange?) and be a meek, supplicating wreck when I come to ask for something? I seriously have much better things to do with my time, sorry girls!

There's been other incidents and sometimes I just want to scream 'Yeah, I'm different. Get on with it!' I'm thinking about getting the T-shirt done in English and in Thai. Or maybe I should try something like 'Look a plane!' and point at the sky to get the attention off me?

I'm surprised that eek is having such reception in Chiang Mai. Everyone I talked to told me Chiang Mai is much nicer and relaxed than Bangkok and the people there are lovely. Thanks for sharing your experience. I'll think of tumbleweed rolling by next time I get 'the look' and try not to laugh out loud , that might do the trick. I always try to make lemonade when life give me lemons instead of sucking the lemons, it taste better. Maybe you could suggest those ladies to do the same and stop giving attitude to you?

Sorry about the sarcastic, dry remarks. It's my way of venting my frustration. I don't mean to offend anyone

Thanks everyone for your comments. They shed a light on many things.

It's a shame that the Thais would think that dark means poor and uneducated. The majority of them are dark and must have their heritage tracking back to the fields centuries ago. Surely they should be proud of their hard work? What's the logic for a tropical nation to want to be white? Not amount of product or coverage or working in a nice indoor job is going to dissipate their dark colouring.

I have met some lovely people in Thailand and I don't want to put the entire population in the same basket. But I was having a bad day yesterday and the unfriendly look on the people's faces when I went to get some noodle soup at the street corner was just the cherry on the cake. I usually don't care what people think about me. Like I said it's mostly women so it might be a female thing too, something that I'm doing without realising. I've seen only a handful of black women so far in Bangkok (white caucasian on the other hand are very common). Maybe the thai women can't believe their eyes when they see my curves, skin colour and afro hair ... Surprisingly, a couple of Thais told me I looked indian and were quite puzzled when I explained I wasn't. So maybe that's the problem, I look Indian. Sounds like Indians are not particularly welcome in Thailand either.

Anyway, I'll try not to let it get to me and just carry on with my life as I did before. Will smile even harder if I have to!

I would like some advice from the women comnunity in Bangkok because I keep getting dirty looks and I don't know what to do. I'm a black woman in her thirties, quite curvy and trying to follow the example by dressing smart and not scruffy or sexy. I only know scraps of Thai but I try to smile and be polite as best as I can. The Thai men stare but it's mostly the Thai women that look at me up and down like I'm some kind of monster. It happens in the street, on the BTS, evetywhere I go. Some are plain rude to me when I want to buy something. I've read on the internet that it was bad to be dark in Thailand. Is it true or is it something I'm doing wrong? I'm on my own in Bangkok and I have no one to give me some guidance. Any kind of advice from Thai or foreign women would be much appreciated. Tell me what is happening, it's really getting to me 