anthemite

I have gone through the exact thoughts that many of you have posted as responses. I have thought "should I even consider going forward at all if I do not trust her?" I have thought "can I trust a private investigator who I have never met before?"

And I truly agree with others who have replied that "no one considers all the Farang that have hurt good Thai women". I assure you, that too rolls through my head.

But having said all that, I still have to do what is best for my situation.

Have I begun to fall in love with her? Yes.

Are there plenty of other girls in Thailand who I could find? Sure, but sometimes love blinds you to the others, and only this one matters.

Do a fair percentage of attractive young Thai women in Bangkok already have boyfriends, try to date or marry Farang for money, or prostitute themselves? I think we all know the answer to that...

So do I "go with the flow" and just not care about that? I will be in Thailand again in 2 or 3 months, but I will not leave my job in the US until I find something or build something in Thailand, which seems to be a year or two away.

So why shouldn't I try to protect myself? Don't you all think that sometimes, you have to use your head (the one on your shoulders), even when your heart pulls you to trust someone blindly?

Though I am trained as a software engineer, and I plan on getting a TEFL or CELTA certificate ASAP, I also wonder if the Thai movie, television, commercial, and other parts of the entertainment industry (such as dubbing and translating) have opportunities for a Farang who speaks Thai with something close to a Thai accent?

I have been known to sing some Sam Ton and Bird in my day (I guess it is still "my day" being mid-30's, but hard to guage in The Land of Smiles), though I don't think I would come in even 50th in a 30-man Thai singing competition  

But I am an average-looking guy I suppose. Anyone know what's out there, in case my attempts to find work in my degreed field fails completely?

After reading an earlier post by a 1 year programmer looking for work in Thailand, I thought I might throw out a follow-up question.

I'm a 31 year old Program Manager and Software Developer with almost 10 years design, management, and programming experience. I have begun the hunt recently as well, and while I have had several replies, I have had no success in getting beyond the application stages.

Oh and I can speak and read a lot of Thai, though I would not yet consider myself fluent in the "government"-related words.

What can I expect? Are my chances also "nil" as one of the previous posters replied to the young man in the original post? Where can my Thai-speaking skills come in handy?

Or would I be better off trying to hook up as a teacher at a Thai University?

Thanks for your help, everyone, this site is The One.

Situation is this:

Met a girl, think she is wonderful, want to increase contact with her, make a closer relationship.

BUT she is younger than me, met her on the internet before dating, know she still flirts around on the web, and I just can't tell how truthful she is about her lifestyle.

I can't keep an eye on her myself right now, and I refuse to get burned!!!! But my heart is starting to slip, and I want to find out the truth before I burn myself.

Can anyone recommend a solid, honest, legal, Bangkok-area Private Investigation or detective service that could take a few days and settle this?

Thanks,

Ant.

Well I went with Avis because they had a Buy-3-Days-Get-The-4th-Free on a brand spanking new 2003 Honda CRV. The downside was I couldn't seem to get them below the 3000 baht/day price, so I ended up paying almost 10000 baht for 4 days.

The car was EXCELLENT though and the service great too. If I rent again and I don't feel the need for finding the bestest price, I will definitely go with Avis again (at the airport).

I will be renting a car for some self-drive trips shortly, and I wonder if anyone has any good and bad stories about the main Thai car rental companies, specifically the Bangkok ones.

I am interested in a relatively new model in very good shape, and I am leaning towards one of the large chains, such as Avis, Budget, Hertz, and National. Krung Thai is a possibility...

Man, you guys kick A**! Thanks for the advice! Now I've at least got a starting point and some numbers to kick around.

Considering I was looking to shell out about 70k in setup costs for a boondocks house, two used cars, and a small business (video store, hair salon, internet cafe, whatever), and considering it feels like I can guarantee myself 20k baht income a month minimum between my skills and whatever piddling business I start, it sounds like I need to guarantee myself another 20k (according to pnustedt and jayenram) a month, which is $6k a year or so, which is 5% of $120k.

So I need about $200k (sorry for the math, but I included it so that I can be corrected if anyone detects anything fishy).

Now I just gotta go beg my boss for that long-awaited raise...

caughtintheact, i misspoke: I meant that i have heard many reports the universities often provide an apartment (and not a condo) to professors. Does that make more sense, or is that equally unlikely and unheardof?

Also, what I meant when I said the cars would be "meu song", I meant "second-hand" used cars a couple of years old, not new ones, so thank you singa-traz for picking up on that, I will keep my Thai-glish to a minimum from now on

CITA, I have had only email correspondance with a few univerities, several of whom have shown interest in my computer experience, but all of course require that I go see them. I plan to do just that next month when I arrive in BKK. I have an ESOL teaching certificate, but otherwise my degree is in Computer Science. singa-traz, thanks for the link, I will keep that around for future use.

When I wrote outside the city, I was specifically referring to the Ganchanaburi area, or maybe Suphanburi, I am thinking on the order of 10 to 20 miles outside the Amphur Meuang (thaiglish: sorry!).

I don't really know my "burn rate", I don't drink or drug, and except for a broadband connection and a satellite for American Football, I  don't go in for the latest gadgets or anything like that.

Hopefully this will make it a little clearer... and thanks for the responses so far!

A recent post mentioned the possibility of moving to Thailand outside the city ("living the dream"), and a responder mentioned that a nest egg would be wise.

I have been planning a move to Thailand in the next couple of years, possibly outside the city as well, but possibly into a large university. Unlike the previous poster, it is actually my dream to teach Computers and English at a University, so this would not be a "just getting by" job.

From all of your years of experience, what kind of money are we talking about for a fair nest egg? 1 million baht? 10 million baht?

I am thinking something on the order of a house outside the city with the wife and kids, a condo provided by the university, and a car or two (meu song of course!).

As I will be travelling in the south, I wonder if anyone could suggest some particularly nice, less frequented and less disrupted beaches and islands in the south, that wont tax my budget but are safe and beautiful.

I have heard many people suggest Krabi and Thap Sakae, but those same people suggested I stay away from Phuket, Ko Phi Phi, Koh Samui, and Koh Phang Ngan.

I will definitely be travelling through Phang Nga, but outside of that, I have no firm plans for a couple weeks.

In addition to clean quiet places, places with some historical value would be much appreciated.

I plan on traveling to the south of thailand in the next few months, and I wonder if anyone out there has heard of any problems for Westerners in the more Islamic southern provinces. I will be travelling with a large group of Thais, but still, I do stick out like a sore thumb.

I would appreciate any recommendations of places to avoid e.g. Yala, Satun, Malaysia, etc.

In the past, I have noticed many locals in Thailand spend time with some herb, but I have always had just enough fear to avoid it myself. I wonder just how common and illegal marijuana is in Thailand.

I have heard horror stories, mostly rumors, about illegal drug use in Thailand, but most stories involved much stronger drugs. I have never met anyone personally nor heard any stories about people having legal troubles resulting from pot use.

Does anyone here "know of anyone" who has had negative experiences in these delicate matters?

Alternatively, does anyone here have happy stories on the same subject?

Actually, I think she is referring to bribes to local police officers and chiefs (chieves?). We plan on living in Suphanburi, outside the city, and I plan on opening up a school for the less well off students. Her concerns seem to be centered around locals stirring up trouble for the local fahrang who appears to have money (because of the school, not an ostentatious lifestyle).

I am pleased to see that few in this forum have had any serious problems, but I think my wife is referring to more serious, regular extortion payments, either to the local constabulary or to a local hoodlum. I have stayed in the area for a few months on end in the past with not a single problem, but semi-retirement is another prospect altogether.

Besides extortion, is there any sort of kickback-style behavior that is common in Thailand? Should I be concerned about being "put out of business"?

My wife is Thai and we plan on moving to Thailand for good in the next few years. Despite my passable Thai language and cultural fluency, my wife insists that I will not be happy living there, most specifically because of her claim that police officers in Thailand will constantly bother me, ask for bribes, and possibly hassle or arrest me just for feeling like it.

We have returned for several months before, and in fact on our last trip, during a trek to the north, some of the policemen in a roadblock checking papers near Chiang Rai requested bribes.

I would expect this sort of treatment, but I think my wife is referring to more substantial problems.

Has anyone there had experience with this sort of treatment? What sort of problems have you had? Is it everywhere or mainly in certain parts of the country? Are there ways to avoid it?