ishmael

Dear Sirs,

I'm seeking a translation service in Chiang Mai. I need one or two documents translated from English to Thai and then apparently they need to be certified by a government department in Bangkok as being official and or accurate. If you can help me then do so please, I'm much obliged to you. Thank you for reading this.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sirs,

thank you for your many and varied replies. A family member produced the original hose, cut into 12' lengths, why, I have no idea.

I bought some jubilee clips and rejoined them together, rough? yes but it's ready for use and just in time for, as the new moon approaches, they will again worship fire. My impossible fantasies of getting them to coil it up after use have evaporated.

Gentlemen, I thank you for your time and trouble and to "anonymouse" my next posting may well be a question on the virtues of good red Welsh flannel and brown paper.

Once again, thank you very much.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sirs,

good morning to all, I have a trivial request; I am seeking a medium quality garden hose and reel in Chiang Mai. I seek something that will last a few years, not the best quality and durability (unless it's cheap)! nor something that will not last at all. I also need it rather quickly as the remnants of the lawn are dessicated.

Gentlemen and gentlewomen, thank you for reading this.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sirs,

I'm seeking a good orthopaedic surgeon in Chiang Mai for an operation on the neck vertebrae. I'd prefer Sripat hospital.

I'd be grateful for any recommendations. Thank you for reading this.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sirs,

I'm seeking a pharmacy in Chiang Mai to buy insulin (Humulin 70/30) or a good safe local generic equivalent at low or reasonable cost. If anyone can give me such information I'd be most obliged.

Thank you for reading this post.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sirs,

I'm seeking a pharmacy in Chiang Mai to buy insulin (Humulin 70/30) at low or reasonable cost. If anyone can give me such information I'd be most obliged.

Thank you for reading this post.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Hello,

I seek the name of a competent (ie; GOOD) Hormone Replacement Therapist (endocrinologist)? in Chiang Mai. If not in Chiang Mai then as close to it as possible please.

If anyone reading this can help, do so please. I thank you for reading this.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear harry,

forgive me please, I should have written that the lady already has a Thai passport.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear harry,

forgive me please, I should have written that the lady already has a Thai passport.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sirs,

my mother in law is hopefully visiting the Uk early next month. I have read quite a number of back posts, read the Uk immigration website and tried to telephone the British Embassy in Bangkok; all to no avail. I need help on the correct procedure for the lady's visa please.

My mother in law is 74 and a widow of Thai nationality. She hopes to visit her daughter in the Uk who now has British nationality and I, a British subject. She hopes to visit us for four weeks starting in early June.

This is what I understand to be correct so far (and I may be very wrong):-

Viz:- The lady requires a VAT2 visa (visiting family and friends). I, as her "sponsor", need to supply six months bank statements as proof of being able to support her, a normal photocopy of my passport (not certified by a solicitor) and proof of where I live, although I remain uncertain as to what that proof should be. A letter from myself stating that I shall fund her stay. I can download the VAT2 visa application form and send it to her along with the above mentioned documents.

What happens then? From what I have read, the lady may not be required to attend an immigration interview but she will have to go somewhere to submit her fingerprints. Where?

Gentlemen, is my understanding correct? What do I do in addition to this? Is the price for a ten year annual (six months) visa the same as a single six months visitors visa? How long on average will it take for her to get the visa?

I am not stupid and I am no more foolish than than most but the embassy and immigration website has confused me. I'd be most grateful for any advice. Thank you.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sirs,

Forgive me for taking up your valuable time. I need to visit a diabetes specialist, most preferably in Chiang Mai. If anyone knows of a competent one, do tell me please.

Thank you for reading this.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sirs,

thank you for taking the time to read this query. I wish to have a gastric band fitted in Thailand, preferably in Chiang Mai and preferably the "Swedish Adjustable Gastric- Band" (SAG-Band).

I write "preferably in Chiang Mai" due to my being there but the overwhelming consideration is to find a surgeon who performs at least one hundred of these surgical procedures annually, ie, a skilled and practiced surgeon. Other, lesser points would be a good hospital to have it done in and of course, a good price.

If anyone of your goodselves can give me the information I seek I'd be most obliged.

Once again, thank you for your valuable time in reading this.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sirs,

I shall be flying to Bangkok from London Heathrow on Eva Air stretched/enhanced economy (poor man's business class).

The checked-in allowance is officially 25kg. Assuming that the aeroplane is not unduly loaded with air freight, what is the maximum I can get away with?

For example, when one fly's economy class, the allowance is 20kg but one may usually be allowed up to 25kg. If stretched economy has an official maximum of 25kg, do they normally allow up to 30kg?

I contacted Eva Air and for the official allowance they of course gave me the official answer;-25kg.

Another question gentlemen if I may. What is the maximum weight for carry-on luggage please?, and may one carry a laptop in addition to this?

If anyone has any recent experience to answer my questions I shall be most obliged. Thank you all for taking the time and trouble to read this and thank you now for any helpful replies I may receive.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sirs,

I do apologise for bothering anyone but I fear that I have not learned to copy a document from "OpenOffice" to "Thaivisa" and post it. This is because I know naught of such things. I do believe that the level of skill in operating computers is high on this forum and what I ask is what most of your goodselves have long forgotten. Even an abacus remains a mystery to me to this day.

If no one can explain down to my low level then does anyone know of anywhere in the internet that I can apply to for a most basic tutorial please? I thank the gentlemen who kindly replied to my question afore but I cannot use such advanced information due to my ingnorance.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear niller74,

thank you for your swift reply. Alas!, I am utterly ignorant of computers. I apologise for not writing of this. Here is my list of confusing points.

Viz:-

What does it mean to "Mark" the document with one's mouse?

What does it mean to "Edit-Copy" and what is a "clipboard" in computing parlance?

What is a "message field" and where is the "Edit--Paste" button or buttons please?

I fear that my complete lack of knowledge in such matters has negated your helpful instructions. I'm sorry.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sirs,

forgive me please for writing in ignorance but I have two questions to ask your goodselves. The first one is; does "Thaivisa" have a spellchecker on it? The second one is more complex I'm afraid. I wish to know if it is readily possible for me to write a document in "OpenOffice.org 2.4" and then transfer it to "Thaivisa" for posting? If so, I wish to be given explicit instructions on how to do so. I thank you for taking the time and trouble to read this question.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Especially when one considers that the poor creatures have been brought to the boil for twenty minutes, they look in fine condition.

OH, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet,

Till Earth and Sky stand presently at God's Great Judgment Seat;

But there is neither East or West, Border, nor Breed or Birth,

When two strong men stand face to face, tho' they come from the ends of the earth!

The Ballad of East and West.

R Kipling.

Dear Sirs,

forgive this idle query. Does anyone know, or can anyone make an educated guess, on when the 800 000Tbt in a Thai bank account for a three month (to obtain an extension to stay on retirement grounds) will increase?

I do not know how many times it has gone up over the years. In my ignorance I have been given to understand that it was 200 000Tbt ten years ago (1998) and by two years ago it was the present sum. I imagine that it did not suddenly jump to the present rate. Does anyone know how many increases there have been and when and how much?

No one can accurately foretell the future but one must make reasonable plans as best as one may. I intend applying for an extension to stay on retirement grounds in the near future for this reason. I do not want to do it in two years time and have to show 1 600 000Tbt!

The information I have been given may well be antiquated and inadequate. I seek elucidation.

I thank you all for taking the time and trouble to read this.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sirs,

is it possible to have a safe toroidal LPG tank fitted as part of a LPG conversion? The car would be a Toyota Camry and the doughnut shaped tank would fit in the spare wheel well and leave the trunk free. The cylindrical tanks I've seen not only take up a deal of space but their position is such that one cannot carry long objects by lowering the back seat as the tank is in the way.

I underlined the word "safe" advisedly as I read in the "Nation" or the "Bangkok Post" of such toroidal tanks being poorly made. This was awhiles ago.

Thanking you for taking the time and trouble to read my question.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sirs,

is it possible to have a safe toroidal LPG tank fitted as part of a LPG conversion? The car would be a Toyota Camry and the doughnut shaped tank would fit in the spare wheel well and leave the trunk free. The cylindrical tanks I've seen not only take up a deal of space but their position is such that one cannot carry long objects by lowering the back seat as the tank is in the way.

I underlined the word "safe" advisedly as I read in the "Nation" or the "Bangkok Post" of such toroidal tanks being poorly made. This was awhiles ago.

Thaking you for taking the time and trouble to read my question.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sirs,

thank you all for your time and trouble in reading and replying to my questions.

Almost all is now clear to me. If you have the time I beg you to clarify one last point:-

I am given to understand that one must apply in the last thirty days of a ninety day '0' visa for an extension to stay on retirement grounds.

May one enter on a multiple entry non-immigrant 'O' as opposed to a single entry and still obtain this extension to stay in the last thirty days of one's first ninety days? Or does one have to "use up" all four of the ninety days entries before one may apply? For doing this would take up the best part of a year.

It may be useful for me to keep my travel plans flexible, hence the question.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Gentlemen, thank you for your time and trouble in replying. I fear that I gave insufficient information in my first question. I'm sorry.

I hope to arrive in Thailand in November. By that time the 800 000 Tbt will have been in the Thai bank account for three months or more. However, for diverse reasons I wish to apply as soon as is practicable, for an extension to stay on retirement grounds.

I write in ignorance of visum matters and seek to alleviate this. Must I wait until the last thirty days or so of my 90 day 'O' visa or may I apply straight away? If the rules say that I must wait until the last thirty days then does anyone have any practicable suggestions for reducing this wait? For example, may one enter on a sixty tourist visa and then apply for the aforementioned permission to stay after thirty days? Or may one enter the Kingdom of Thailand on a thirty day visa waiver and apply straight away?

Once again I thank you for your replies.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

Dear Sir,

this is my first posting so do be gentle with me please. I have two questions and I'd be obliged for any help.

I am over fifty years of age and English. I am married to a Thai.

I shall travel to Thailand on a multiple entry 90 day non-immigrant 'O' visa. When I am there I wish to apply for a 12 month extension of stay based on retirement grounds. I am aware of the 800 000 Tbt in a Thai bank account from overseas sources for a minimum of 3 months. My first question is:- when can I apply? Do I have to wait until the last 30 days or so of my 90 day visa or can I apply as soon as I arrive?

My second question is:- within the last decade the amount required for an extension of stay based on retirement has risen four-fold. Is one "grandfathered" at the rate prevailing at one's initial extension? For example, if a person had to show 200 000 Tbt in 1998, is that all they must show now if applying for an extension? I am assuming all continuity.

I thank you all for taking the trouble to read my questions.

Yours faithfully,

ishmael.

I have been on an enforced trip to the UK for the past few months and believe me it gets no better.

In pubs and bars throughout the country can be heard “Allow me to buy the drinks as you are working”

Or worse still the husband come back from the job centre and tells his wife “They have found me a job.” She replies “Oh no, just as we were getting on our feet as well”.

For anyone remotely interested Cilla Black is alive and making a nuisance of herself on chat shows but looks as though she has been dead for six months, a tribute to the embalmers art.

On a lighter note, my aunt who lived in one of my properties, rent free by the way, died, and whom no doubt by now will have discovered if her one hour a week of God bothering every Sunday was worth it or not and I inherited along with the funeral bill two small dogs.

I phoned my better half and said what should I do with them she said bring them, we already have five mutts here in Thailand, she said two more won’t make any difference.

Plug for Thai women! She is an absolute star, her mates say she is lucky having me, not so I am lucky having her.

I phoned a few pet export agencies you will see they all have nice address’s Ivy cottage or some farm or the other, now I know why,

The cheapest quote I had was £895 and the most expensive was £1,529 one way and I had to do all the paperwork as well.

I usually fly with Emirates so I phoned them, their quote was £13 per kilo going as cargo so I immediately put the fat one on a diet, what they did not say was it is £13 per kilo multiplied by the size of the cage.

This came to nearly £800 plus a £50 handling charge so I knew that Air France will allow the dogs to go as excess baggage so that’s who we went with they charge £25 per kilo as the whole kit and caboodle came to 20 kilos £500.

The technical bit.

Before you can legally export a dog from the UK you need a clearance certificate from D.E.F.R.A. The department for enviroment, food and rural affairs, these are free and will be sent to your home address, or more to the point the application for a certificate will.

You will need to nominate a vet who is a L.V.I. local vetinary inspector and a date they will be leaving the country, without this the certificate cannot be issued.

The certificate for disease control will be sent to your nominated vet, these certificates are valid for ten days from the date of issue.

The dogs will have to be vaccinated against Leptospirosis ( a nasty piece of work that humans can catch)at least 21 days before export also canine distemper, infectious hepatitis and canine parvovirus and examined within 72 hours of export.

As rabies is endemic in Thailand a rabies shot is not required and anyway it is cheaper to have it done here.

These jabs on the other-hand are not free, they are injected and 14 days later a booster jab is given.

This cost £40 per dog,  two days before we went they were examined and the vet stamped the disease clearance certificate another £40.

You will also need an import certificate issued here in Thailand ours was issued at Chiang Mia airport these are also free and are valid for 30 days from the time of issue.

This was sent to me in the UK but with business commitments the certificate ran out I was faxed another and away we went.

The cage they travel in must meet I.A.T.A. regulations I will tell you what they are, the dogs as they grew up together were allowed to travel together, they must have room to stand up, turn round and have access to fresh water through a paw and nose proof grille (chicken wire) you can make one yourself for peanuts, mine cost £70 from a shop.

There is a proscribed list of dogs that cannot be imported here unfortunately my two terriers were not on it so you will have to check it out.

You will need to get to the airport at least 2-3 hours before you normally do as nobody on the check in desks had ever done this procedure before, about an hour before departure they are taken to the aircraft so they were being made a great fuss of for a few hours in Manchester airport, I was not made any fuss of at all, so nothing new there then.

At Charles De Gaulle airport I collected them and yes they came round on the carousel.

This was on New Years Eve and I had to spend 7 hours in this dump with two small and very fed up dogs.

I have no idea who designed this place but they should be sought out and shot before they get to design anything else.

I have been in more welcoming car parks, it is dark dingy and half the lights don’t work.

This airport has its own drunks, vagrants and beggars also some nitwit who spent 5 hours zooming up and down the concourse on rollerblades narrowly missing passengers the drunks obviously knew him and kept out of the way.

In my time on this planet I have had some crappy New Years but this was the worst.

Again about an hour before departure the dogs were taken and put on board.

Now Bangkok airport was the epitome of modernity and efficiency they again came round on the carousel so I went to customs the nothing to declare bit and was met by smiling helpful people.

The boss asked me where I got the import certificate from and I said it was faxed to me and he could speak to my better half who was in the arrivals hall if he wanted to but he said no its OK he checked the documents and said happy new year and that was it and while I am at it let them out of the cage so I walked out of customs followed by two small and no doubt confused dogs.

We spent what was left of New Years day in Bangkok and flew up here on the 2-1-2005 the cheapo airline Nok Air etc won’t allows dogs so we flew with Thai airways the dogs went as excess baggage 35 baht per kilo again what a difference to Air France, most helpful people.

What not to do!

Unless you are a machochist or on a diet on no account fly with Air France it is over twenty years since I have had the “pleasure” of flying with this crowd and then I only flew with them on business as I used to do work in France with any luck it will be a lot longer than twenty years before I fly with them again.

I booked on line and as I wanted to take the dogs I phoned them, the man on the other end said there was no such fare I told him the flight no’s and the price as it was on the monitor in front of me he finally agreed with me that there was this flight and price, from then on it was all down hill they charged me £10 for a paper ticket and another £10 to send it to me, a 28 pence stamp and an envelope no courier.

There were no details of what terminal I was to fly from at either Manchester or Paris airports.

At the airport they whacked me for every kilo over the 20 allowed most long haul flights give a bit of leeway but not this outfit. This is £25 per kilo excess baggage and a Happy New year to you.

The food was inedible on the flight, the cabin crew made it quite obvious that if there was any justice in this world they would be sat down and I would be dishing up “French cuisine” to them and they would not be sat at the back of the plane with the rest of the plebs either.

The “light snack” consisted of two Kraft cheese slices ( I use the word cheese here in the broadest sense) two slimy see through slices of ham, a cup of cold I think it may well have been coffee but its any ones guess and a stale bread roll.

If ever an airline deserved to go bankrupt it most surely is this one.

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