Nick in Thailand

3 hours ago, Elkski said:

It takes a person with cajones to say these things about ladyboys.   Most of us can't imagine and are disgusted just hearing about this fetish some have.   May I suggest you keep these thoughts private as I think it tends to make some of  us open minded accepting types become more negative.  Enjoy your lifestyle but not in my face please. 

I'm not sure what you mean. Are you saying that giving or receiving disgusts you? Which one do you prefer then? :s

4 hours ago, Elkski said:

Tinder is just a tool.  Some good girls may try it.  Who knows.  

Some Thai women have seen bad examples of how thai men or father's are and seen successful farang unions and have decided they will try a farang relationship.  Most just looking for a non alcoholic, non gambler, caring man who  won't sleep around to mut.  

A western man who may cook, clean, garden, mechanic, hobbies, no n brown eyes, nice nose, tall, lighter skin, good teeth, and probably will always want to live in a nice house or accomodations with aircon and hot shower is a positive.  Maybe they dream of leaving Thailand.   Good girls don't go out to clubs often ( unless work function or girl group function like bday party) so social media is the only way.  You are looking for an innocent girl so assume she doesn't know what love feels like, doesn't know how to converse with a intelligent man.  You must be super patient.  But you can't leave a potentially good one alone to long.  There are probably other men talking to them.  Pre covid it meant book your tickets.  Show her your "sincere" a big word for Thai women.   

Thanks for the quality reply. 

2 hours ago, Elkski said:

Oh I forgot to tell op.  Most gals use a beauty app but many don't even know their phoned or apps are doing this, they claim.  Always live video with prospects before wasting much time.  This online dating sorting thing only works if the man is available during the woman's free time.  And also ask about debt early on as no way a teacher will be able to bail out some of these gals.  Such lax lending rules in Thailand.  Thais don't understand compounding of interest, principal and interest.  They believe debt is theirs and separate from the man so why should he care.  Others are seeking a western man as only way out of their debt predicament.    As others have said there are facebook groups dedicated to understanding all things in farangland legal and otherwise.  

Very interesting tip about debt. Thanks. 

3 hours ago, 1FinickyOne said:

robotic? lack empathy? - empathy seems to be a rare quality these days, but maybe be a bit more patient - real feelings take time... 

 

masculine? Try an ultra feminine lady boy maybe? 

I'm talking about Chinese women here friend. But yes, I will try a ladyboy again, just to make sure. 

59 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Why the downer on tattoos? Preconceived labelling or just dont like them ?

Preconceived labelling. Often, but not always, the mark of a bar girl. 

3 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Do conservative girls have tattoos?

Some tattoos are the typical Thai "temple" tattoos. I think they are harmless and don't tell much about lifestyle.

 

And then there are the typical hooker tattoos which often indicate years of entertainment activity. Not too conservative ...

 

Fair point. 

1 hour ago, Airalee said:

The women on the game on these sites are pretty easily recognized.  They’re the ones with either the “sexy” pictures or with multiple photos of themselves drinking wine in an expensive restaurant (usually a picture taken by a previous date).  If it was a true social situation with friends, those friends would be in the picture too...generally speaking.

I'm looking for a conservative girl. Any photos with alcohol, tattoos, bikinis, or the accentuation of the posterior / busom, are an instant rejection from me. 

2 minutes ago, Airalee said:

Quite often, the answers will be...

 

Q:  Tell me about yourself.

A:  What you want to know?

 

Q:  What do you enjoy doing

A:  usually won’t get much of an answer.  They play Facebook, Instagram, TikTok etc when they aren’t working their typical 70 hour workweeks.  Their days off they sleep, eat and maybe watch TV.

 

Q:  Tell me about your family

A:  Why you want to know about my family?

 

At least that’s been my experience (in general)

How does one find a meaningful relationship amongst these, I hate the expression, NPCs? 

2 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

I am somewhat surprised you have to ask this after around 10 yrs on the forum ?

Yes, I've actually been 'Nick in China' for longer than I wanted to be. 

5 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Quite a lot of females have "No teachers" in their profile.

Seems you're on a bit of a loser.

Oh no. Perhaps it's me that's the loser.. 

4 minutes ago, Airalee said:

Totally understand.  It’s the same on all online dating sites (and with many women that you meet IRL and subsequently add to line).  Your description of it being like an interview are spot on.

 

First, there are the questions that they ask you...

 

1.  “What you do?”   The basic financial qualifier.  Every single one will ask this.

 

2. “How long you live Thailand?”  This one can be tricky and can sometimes be prefaced with “You live Thailand?”.  I find that in general, the longer you have lived here, the more negative their impression will be.  It can either be that you have already had previous Thai girlfriends that will reappear in the future, only to cause problems and bring drama and the potential for you to leave them and go back to the “ex”....or it can also be a case of “Farang roo mak, mai dee”....you know too much and they won’t be able to play their games.

 

3.  “You have Thai gf/wife?”   Here, they want to know if you are either A.  Cheating on someone and they are only a side fling (like a cheater will actually come out and say “yes!  I have a Thai wife/gf).  B.  Might already have children with another Thai woman.  C. Refer to #2 and “Farang roo mak, mai dee”

 

4. “Where you come from?”  Thai women know all about the visa/divorce laws of your country.  It is discussed at length on their forum.  (Ladyinter).  You have to be able to read Thai.

 

4. “Why you live Thailand”.  Being that they have no idea of the concept of affordable healthcare/rents/etc. as they really don’t know what the cost of living is in your country (and aren’t really interested unless it is how much their favorite Thai food costs), they really just want to know....are you here for the women.   This question may or may not be followed up with “You like Thai lady?”

 

Usually, these first 4 questions will be answered with “I see” and little more.  There will not be much in the way of follow up questions.  
 

Even if you have already addressed these topics in your profile, they will still ask them.  You didn’t actually expect them to read your profile did you?  Most likely they didn’t.

 

They will never ask you about your hobbies, interests, hopes and dreams.  They aren’t interested in your plans for the future either....they have their own.

 

Your questions, no matter how benign will be either A.  Completely ignored...like you didn’t even ask it.  or B.  Viewed with some amount of suspicion with a reply such as “Why you want to know?”.  
 

Any answers that they do give will be vague at best, and if you attempt any sort of follow up question in order to have them elaborate on their original answer, it will be ignored or just answered with a smiley or laughing emoji.

 

There is no small talk.  No back and forth where a conversation actually progresses.  Of course, that makes you wonder what they gab about for 5 minutes with whatever Thai person (even complete strangers) whom they may interact with on a daily basis.

 

If you have passed the original interview, on subsequent days, you can expect in depth questions such as “how are you today?” or “have you eaten yet?”.   They might sometimes ask “what did you do/eat today?”  And on occasion, even follow up with “sanook mai?” (Was it fun) or “aroi mai?” (Was it delicious?).

 

If you progress from the online dating platform to Line, you will then get lots of cute “stickers” but usually not much else other than the obligatory “good morning” or, if it’s nighttime... “I home now, take shower and sleep ka”.

 

Enjoy! ???? 

Oh dear. Well, I have found one absolute treasure, in my eyes. She dresses conservatively, she is a nurse bit she has an unorthodox beauty to her. 

I'm on question 10 now, she has only asked "what job you do?" I'm a teacher but I also run a small fintech business from home (Australia) , so I don't think my profession is off-putting. 

I don't want to give this one up. I'm so, so picky. I have about 200 girls I don't like back on Tinder. 

14 minutes ago, Yellowtail said:

 

Going to the meat market to buy a loaf of bread then.

 

In any event, why not try to start a conversation rather than conducting an interview? 

How does one converse, absent of questions, without talking soley about oneself or one's interests? 

Teach me the art if conversation, sagacious one. 

When I match with women on Tinder, the "Conversations" feel more like interviews. 

I ask a question. They give me an answer. 

And on and on. 

Is this a cultural thing? I find it a little odd and tiring. 

I also saw some jobs down there. Thinking of applying or just getting my boots on the ground. Are there zero bars for westerners and zero bar girls? That's not my sole interest but wouldn't mind every now and again. 

I guess the nearest spot is Krabi? 

1 hour ago, soi3eddie said:

 

What? OK the NST Thais are a bit hot headed (I was married to one for 14 years) but I have no idea where you get your info. Not from personal experience I suggest. The area is very friendly and welcoming although few there will speak English. There is NO Muslim violence but some great southern food. I would often get up before sunrise and ride my bicycle to the foothills of Khao Luang National park and the locals would greet me and offer coffee during my ride. Never had to pay. Lovely people.  This was 2001 to 2014. Was there several times since and nothing changed for the worse.

 

Is it true, in your opinion, that the Thai women there are less interested in farang? 

5 hours ago, Patong2021 said:

I would not move to NST.   From what I saw of facilities after driving around  several times, there is not much in comparison of places like even insignificant Chiang Rai. Hat Yai region was a bustling metropolis in comparison.

I tried to have extended holiday 2X over a period of 5 years, and after each time of making heroic effort,  departed saying never again. Lousy quality hotels, with poor standard of hospitality.

 

The province has a well deserved reputation for corruption and the baggage that attaches. IMO because the province was one that benefited from the era of Suthep, the population has an attitude that reflects the old era and I find that the people are not as friendly or as hospitable as is seen in other regions. The violence is driven more by local crime than the southern insurgency.  I did not see much western type nightlife to speak of and the typical plastic chair dirty beer bar joint did not appeal to me.

 

NST is a wasted opportunity. The beaches in the Khanom area are beautiful and offer so much  potential. Unfortunately, the amount of garbage is disgusting. I watched locals fly tip right next to the beach. Broken glass, plastic bottles, fishing equipment and general debris foul high quality sand beach. As they say in business articles, poor value proposition.  

This is a shame to read. Especially less friendly locals. There seems to be some stunning nature that would make nice weekend trips though, would you agree? 

7 hours ago, Farang123 said:

The teaching itself is pretty easy, of course you will be responsible for creating lessons which can take some time depending on how diverse your classes are.

 

What will really drag on you will be interacting with co-workers as someone else mentioned.  They will gradually start asking you to do more and more, come in on the weekends, stay later, do gate duty.  Nothing is really about how you teach the students in a Thai government school.  Most of the Thai teachers who teach in them can't speak very well and pass on bad habits to the students.

 

I'm hearing a lot about the co-workers. I am readying myself. Thanks for the heads up. 

18 minutes ago, DILLIGAD said:

Having lived in the area that you mention, I'd have to remind you of the phrase "Don't <deleted> on your own door-step'. Keep your social life far away from your professional life is my recommendation. There are many placesthat are a short scooter ride away.  

Yes, that's my plan. But I'm looking for numbers. What do you think? No younger than 25 in my town?

Ladyboys and 19 year olds in the neighbouring town? 

4 minutes ago, McTavish said:

Go for it mate! 

Crikey dicks, I'm 52 and my wife is only just turned 21 and folk don't look at us strange anymore.  We're very happy married 9 years already ????

No no. Ventenio is right. What if your friends and family would know? It's a good job we're anonymous on here. We are scoundrels!