oiuy1

Sorry, by one strike policy I meant more zero-strike policy. These guys aren't going to change.

Is it possible to institute a one-strike policy in the ladies forum? You say one stupid, ignorant, misogynistic thing here and you're out. Forums aren't a democracy, institute marital law on this shit.

Wonk, try out networking events, meetups, couchsurfing events, etc. There are tons of western women your age in Thailand. If you want to find a long term GF, I'd hit up Chamber networking events because the women there are probably in Thailand for the longer haul.

Edit - Also Wonk, most mid-20's farangs in Bangkok have some sort of loose social connection. If you find a few male farang friends, they could introduce you to their female farang friends.

Hello, it's OP. I abandoned this thread a few days after I made it when I realized that I wasn't going to have a real discussion. Most of the content seems to have been generated by men protecting their privilege, men projecting their issues of women onto me and my situation, and people telling me that farang men aggressively devaluing me is part of the local culture so I should accept it. I just left and never logged back in because I got enough of that in face to face interactions. It seems like most of the Ladies Forum posts get hijacked by idiots on personal crusades. It's unfortunate for the people who do have real content to contribute, I feel sorry for the mods and posters who have to deal with it. On the plus side, if anyone tries to tell me that I'm imagining sexist attitudes, I only have to point them to this thread (or most threads) to hear men repeat everything I've heard in an office and more. I'm being totally honest when I say Thailand's given me new empathy for women from previous generations.

Thanks to some of the women and men who posted empathetic advice. I left the company several months ago, as it obviously wasn't a professional work environment. I was newer to Thailand and needed to keep my work permit active while I found something better. I just felt alone and attacked. I've found some good contacts with women in the professional sphere here, so I've had outlets to discuss this. Since then I've found a better work situation with higher quality standards. Also, my boyfriend hasn't left me and I am still working in Asia. Last point I'd like to make is that when I got to know all of my female coworkers much better, I learned they hated the environment as much as I did. They just didn't speak up to defend themselves. I on the other hand did defend myself and I set clear boundaries, but the environment didn't improve. By the time I had quit, all of them had left the company and the CEO had no idea why he had such a problem holding onto staff. I'd like to see someone try to mansplain that.

Sexism is a problem in Thailand, both for Thai and farang women. I wish we could have a more constructive dialogue about it, but Thaivisa just isn't the place.

Well.., Hedgehog did not put it well, but on the major point, he's pretty right. The major point being - it is what it is. Unfortunately, that is the way of things here, and there is basically nothing you can do to change the big picture. You either need to find a way to live with it, or I imagine you will find yourself very unhappy.

I think you should concentrate on looking for tips on how to improve your own personal situation, rather than trying to affect overall change. What ways can you work within the current culture to try to rise above it. I know that's a crappy, impersonal answer, but maybe it might lead you in a better direction. If you are trying to change the culture here, no matter how unfair it may be, you're going to find yourself banging your head against a brick wall. Perhaps by finding a better path for yourself, you might inspire other ladies to do the same? I think that is the best case you can hope for.

I said nothing in my original post about changing the culture, just that I wanted advice and perspective on navigating/coping with the environment here. I'm not going to change Thailand, that's up to Thai people and Thai feminism. Given the environment, I want to mitigate the sexism as best I can so I'm not at a constant disadvantage. And thank you for giving a reasonable reply.

THIS is the society in which you have chosen to work (click link to another TV post).

http://www.thaivisa....75#entry5991987

Sorry, I'm a male too, but couldn't resist posting this link here after sympathetically reading your OP.

Unfortunately, the cultural environment gives free reign to the less-PC inclinations of a lot of expats who live and work here--especially when many Thai women accept or even encourage it.

It's a tough go if you are fresh from a PC country.

I agree, and I'd like to note that "less-PC inclinations" is a very PC way of saying sexist, racist and prone to harassment. My Thai female coworkers tolerate it, and given the cultural context of Thailand I understand why. Also, in environments where women have considerably less power (like here), it's common to see women try to gain that power back through sexual attraction. That's why you don't find ambitious, intelligent women with power allowing balding middle managers to make loud comments about their ass in the office.

And it took under half an hour, but Hedghog is a common example of men brushing off sexism as an issue. Hedghog, you aren't effected by sexism here, you don't have to deal with it, and if you have nothing else to do than defend it, you're part of the problem.

Hello fellow female expats. I moved to Thailand last year and have been working in Bangkok for the past several months. Over that time I've become increasingly frustrated with the expat work culture here. I want to vent, but I also need the perspectives of other women who have been here longer than me. I'd also love to hear from men who don't think that I should leave because I'm not fine with being treated like a object. I'm getting career value out of Thailand, I like living here, and I'm not leaving.

Some things I've encountered in the last year:

- Networking often occurs in male-only spaces such as hooker bars, Soi Cowboy, Nana Plaza, golf trips, poker games, etc. I am not invited, cutting me off from the benefits of this networking. Networking that I am allowed to attend is mostly binge drinking and talking shit about women. I'm mainly talking about informal, after hours networking, not formal networking venues like Chamber of Commerce events.

- Managers (male expats) are free from gender discrimination laws and routinely objectify female employees, Thai women on the street, etc. They get in the personal space of female employees. This would be considered sexual harassment in the West. They talk so much shit about Thai women it's amazing.

- I moved here with my long term male partner. Everyone likes to tell me how I can't compete with a Thai woman and it is only a matter of time before he leaves me for one. Or alternatively, they tell me that women professionals don't last long in Asia and I should leave.

It's these constant efforts to devalue me that I need to address.

If you're a woman who's living in Thailand (or has lived here) what do you do to mitigate the sexism here? How do you experience Thailand as a foreign woman?