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bigbearjohn
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Posts posted by bigbearjohn
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Have to agree.....
Not the way I pictured things years ago.....But - it's turned out better than what I'd pictured....
Thank God for a life that's a motivated adventure in happiness - versus sedentary slowly suffocating stagnation....
Very well said! Love it.
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I know two male farangs who live together and pool their resources. They each spend no more than B18,000 a month. They live on the North side of Pattaya which is generally cheaper. However, neither are drinkers and they prepare all their own meals. I know many expats that are barely surviving in the USA on the paltry amount they get from Social Security. It's hard to pay rent in the USA unless you live in the southern states. Over all, they live much better in Thailand than they could live in the USA.
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30,000 baht per month is what you would pay in rent in the west
I live in Washington State and what you can get for B30,000 is just so-so, not very special. For B30,000
you can get a nice 2 bedroom condo on the beach in Jomtien.
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Jomtien, Pattaya and Hua Hin.
Thanks for asking! I like hearing about places in Thailand that people really like.
Never get tired of it.
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An 82-year-old friend of mine who has lived in Pattaya for 20 years recently wrote to me. I had written to him on many many occasions telling him about my fears, concerns, and worries about retiring to Thailand. This friend has a GREAT attitude and this letter is what he recently shared with me:
"Hey John,
As you are well aware, 20 years ago, I picked up my life and moved to Pattaya, where I knew no one, and everything felt new. With my family on the other side of the world, this was TRULY the first time in my life I had utterly been on my own… I mean really on my own. I felt like I had landed on another planet called "Thailand." Vacationing in Thailand was completely different than living here.
During the initial stages of getting used to my totally foreign and unfamiliar surroundings, I was distracted by the culture shock-value of the whole experience. “What did I get myself into?" was a question I suddenly felt consumed by. "Did I make the right decision?” I'd ask myself constantly. Sure, I knew that my choice would ultimately be rewarding, but I wasn’t prepared for the journey that would come before that point.
Today, I’m incredibly grateful I took that risk because it has taught me so much about life, myself and what I want for my "golden years." So when you decide it's time to embark on your new life in Thailand, here are some of my personal views and suggestions on ways to get started on the right foot:
1. Get involved with something.
Immersing yourself in something out of your box is a great way to tap into a deeper sense of your purpose. So dive into something! The best way to familiarize yourself with a culture is to learn their language. Please believe me, it makes a HUGE difference in your enjoyment of this fabulous country.
If you look up organizations or groups that you feel strongly about, chances are you will start to meet people that share those same passions. Expat groups are great, but try to choose expat friends who are active. Maybe take a “learning to speak Thai” course. Take a Thai cooking class. (I did and even my Thai friends love my Gang Karee Gai!) If the idea of learning how to meditate interests you, what better place than Thailand to learn how to meditate? Study art. Take a course in the art of authentic Thai massage. I took one at Wat Pho in Bangkok and I am always being asked by friends for a quick shoulder rub. It sure is an ice breaker, let me tell you! Write poetry. Learn how to play guitar. Take up sketching or painting. If you’re not too out of shape, take a kickboxing class and if you are out of shape, sign up at a gym and hire a Thai gym instructor to kick your butt into shape! Invite a group of friends to take an evening dinner cruise down the Chao Praya River in Bangkok at night. The river and lights are spectacularly beautiful at night in Bangkok.
Whatever it is, finding a sense of "newness" in your life on a regular basis will empower you, and give you a sense of focus and passion.
2. Push yourself out of your comfort zone
A huge part of personal growth actually involves finding a supportive community. Especially if you're in the place of wanting to start from scratch, you may be feeling the desire to make new friends, which undoubtedly can be challenging and even sometimes awkward at first. If you are shy, take baby steps.
As a person who thrives off my best friends’ support, this was one of the most frustrating parts of my move. But you can take steps to be intentional about your social life. Say yes to everything you are invited to, even if it’s out of your comfort zone. Yes, you may feel overly-friendly at first. But who cares? In the end, they could become one of your best friends. Hang out at that beach. Become an avid people watcher. Strike up casual conversations with passers-by. Go to malls and observe people. Go online and meet Thai and expat friends on dating sites. Some sites encourage friendship finding. Not everything has to be about sex.
3. Consistently plan something you can look forward to.
It's important that you do things to let yourself know you care about yourself. Plan a special trip to see something new and interesting in Thailand that you have never seen before. I KNOW you will be surprised at what’s out there in Thailand that you NEVER KNEW even existed. EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS. The Bangkok Post often has sections revealing unusual places to see and explore in Thailand. You're only limited by your imagination (and budget, of course!). At least you have the internet. When I first came here, everything was only by word of mouth. Also, you can take short trips to neighboring countries. EXPLORE!! If you are a "stay at home" stick-in-the-mud kind of person, you WILL be miserable here (or anywhere for that matter.) Please remember: life is only what you make it. Nothing more, nothing less. It's a short ride. Have some fun!!!
4. Appreciate the silence.
When I moved to Thailand, it was the first time in my life I was forced to be alone for an extended period of time. I’ve learned that how you handle silence says the most about who you are as a person. Sitting in silence completely alone gives your mind a chance to unwind, and you can hear yourself think so clearly. Self-inquiry almost always involves "being with yourself" in some way, which can be extremely overwhelming. Find things that make the process easier, whether it be a new hobby like painting or playing music. Be patient with yourself. Write a journal. Treat yourself like you would a friend, and appreciate the quiet time you have with yourself. Create a fun, positive small circle of friends to do things with. Plan special dinner parties. Invite new friends over. Have a “Movie” night. Visit Thai universities. See if they offer anything for farangs.
Make some THAI friends. They can show you things in Thailand off the beaten track.
5. Nurture yourself.
Things aren’t always going to go according to plan in any transition. Be patient, kind and compassionate — because it will take time for everything to pan out. But in that awkward transition period, don’t be too hard on yourself and enjoy it! Skype with friends and family back home. Use this experience as a time to be selfish and focus on yourself. What do you want to learn? What habits do you want to shed? Do you have new goals? Are there areas of your life you want to improve? Realize your life is yours, and no one else's. This may feel like it puts the pressure on, but it also is a realization that gives you so much freedom. That kind of self-love and attention will help you become the best version of yourself. Onward!
Carpe diem, my friend,"
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and what you do in the USA? get a boring job, buy a house and fill your house with useless gadgets so you can spend all your night at watching TV for hours and yell at your fat lady to bring a beer. or you can
meet people in farang land who ask you where Thailand is. want go out with these idiots? sorry I prefer to be alone in Pattaya and I m very happy where I am. I prefer not to worry about money, pay tax, and look for a dumb job which pay shit in farangland. Pattaya is heaven, you got everything a man can dream of.
if you don't like it, nobody force you to come to Pattaya, you can still stay in your Omaha Nebraska.
Well said. That is my view of USA / Canada life as compared to Thailand (just not Pattaya for me).
Truth of the matter is, no matter where you go, you have to take yourself with you. If you are bored in the USA,
you will be bored in Thailand. Life is only what you make it. Nothing more nothing less. A good friend of mine
spent the last 15 years of his life in Pattaya. On many occasions he told me they were the happiest years of
his life.
My 2 cents.
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When I was a kid, FORD used to stand for Fix Or Repair Daily
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Right now I live with my mom, she is working here but she wants to go back in a couple of years and I go to school for free. At first I was super-motivated to be an engineer or something, but now I lost all that and I just want to learn some useful skills such as fixing autos, I don't have any passion left for school.
Somehow or another, you have to get a grip on yourself. I have Thai friends in Thailand who
would do almost anything to be in your shoes. It seems you don't fully appreciate the incredible
opportunity you are THROWING away. A couple years in Thailand and you will be kicking
yourself saying "what the HELL was I thinking??". The decisions you make now will affect
the rest of your life. You have the opportunity to get a computer engineering degree and
eventually make twenty times the money you would EVER make in Thailand. When things
get tough in this world and you are scraping by on a few baht here and there, you will HATE
yourself for abandoning this opportunity, especially if you want to have a family and kids some day. Think of that too. Sure, I realize America can be boring at times, but so can being at the bottom of the rung, scrounging for bits of food and shelter and depending on the kindness of others.
Get tough and force yourself to get through this. It will pass faster than you can imagine.
Somehow you have to find the inner strength to make this go right. Or would you rather
be working in some go-go bar in Pattaya, selling yourself to some fat farang for 500 baht?
Sure, you believe that's never going to happen to you. Just wait until things get difficult
in Thailand.... you might be whistling a different tune. Just remember all the people in
Thailand who would jump over almost any obstacle to trade places with you. Time to grow up.
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Pattaya gonna be a ghost town
Cancelling this year's trip to Thailand as of right now.
We'll see what happens when Thailand loses over half
of its tourists.
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I honestly appreciated the vendors and the umbrellas and the comfortable chairs at Jomtien.
I got to know the vendors and they would reserve my comfortable spot every time I visited.
I love the festive atmosphere as well as the Thai people walking along the sand selling their
wares. I particularly enjoy the personal service the beach vendors offer in bringing food and drink
directly to my chair and I also look forward to the reasonably priced massages offered right on the
sand after a late night of partying. It's a great place to commune with all my Thai and expat friends.
I can go sit on a lonely beach in California if all I want is a sandy beach. I, for one, have no interest
in going to just another sandy beach. .I loved it just the way it was. Guess I won't be going anymore.
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Find a good chiropractor. I have had friends 5 years ago who
had a good chiropractor in Bangkok.
The other possibility (which *I* would choose) is to find an
excellent practitioner of authentic traditional Thai massage --
no joke. I have had great medical massages in Thailand
that saved my back.
Good luck.
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onni4me, on 24 Jan 2014 - 20:51, said:
I don't have a miserable life. Boredom? Perhaps after all these years here things start to repeat themselves.
What comes to going for a walk, bike ride, hiking, camping, buy a thousand fireworks and let them off, open a business, buy a Tuk-Tuk and ride across Thailand...who says that i haven't done all that in 10+ years...although, i was not aware that riding a Tuk-Tuk is legal on the motorways...I use a bike or a car.
I didn't expect much asking how others fulfill their days but it seems trolling and filling net with meaningless posts on ThaiVisa is a lifeline for some.
Just remember, the grass always looks greener on the other side. The hard part about leaving is the fact that you take yourself with you. What makes you think you won't be bored wherever you move to? You could always study Buddhism, do something creative like writing the novel you always wanted to write, learn how to paint, learn how to cook Thai, start an internet business, start working out and improving your health, help out someone who is disadvantaged and only needs a leg up on life, volunteer, or if you're really bored, take an extended vacation in Europe. If your life is renewed in Europe, then you have your answer. That is, at least until you get bored again. In my humble opinion (no offense), only lazy or unimaginative people get bored.
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Do a search on YouTube and listen to some talks by Eckhart Tolle.
It might help. or maybe not. It worked for me.
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Can I add just one more thing to the excellent post that you made above @bigbearjohn? It's something that I feel could assist anyone in having a much better time here in Thailand.
I found this out quite by accident when I first came here, more than 10 years ago. In my eagerness to be polite and to make up for the inevitable series of faux pas that I was bound to make, I started smiling much more than I would at home, in order to try and put them at ease and have them understand that even if I did dumb things, that I had good intentions. Not a timid smile, but a wide toothy smile like I've seen many of the Thais give.
After a very short time I found that I had a lot of new acquaintances, and that every time I saw one of them (or even someone new) they would smile broadly back at me again and again. They took time to chat with me (though my Thai was very limited at the time), or just sit with me, share cigarettes or their fire-water. They seldom smiled first, I'd often see that "odd Thai stare" that we have perhaps all experienced, but they always genuinely returned my smiles when I gave them, and things just built from there.
As time progressed and I kept up the smiling, I found that it just became more and more automatic from me. Now I don't even notice that I'm doing it. I smile and even waive sometimes at total strangers in and around our village. Everyone knows me, at least to smile and waive to, always faces are friendly.
That simple act of smiling, and making a point of doing so and being friendly, has made my life here so filled with value. I can't help but wonder how really friendly to the Thai people a lot of the more "miserable" Thaivisa posters are. It's easy to get the impression from their posts that they some feel somehow superior to the Thais, and I'm sure that attitude would impact on their lives here, and on how welcomed they would feel.
Just my $0.02c but I'd recommend trying "the smile" if you want to be more accepted into your local community. Be genuine about your intentions and I think it will come back to you.
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Your viewpoint on smiles makes a lot of sense to me, Thaimlord. It reminded me of a funny story that happened to me during one of my early trips to Thailand. I was so enamored of Thailand that I was walking around everywhere with a HUGE smile on my face, something akin to a smiling baboon I guess, smiling from ear to ear. (I was so thrilled and happy to be in Thailand...) one could say, really joyous. One day I was walking across a very wide, very busy boulevard in Bangkok. As I just about got half way across the street, a frail old Thai lady in her late 70's was hobbling towards me, walking with a cane. As she came close to me, she suddenly reached out and rubbed my stomach, then with a very broad smile, she looked right into my eyes and says, "Happy Buddha!!!" Then she bowed to me and put her hand to her mouth, to giggle just a bit. It was PRECIOUS. I guffawed on the spot, knowing full-well what she was referring to, and I doubled over with laughter, and with a little tease, I gave her a playful grin, quipping, "Oh, really? Is that so??" She smiled, patted me on the shoulder and went on her merry way. I will never forget that moment as long as I live. I am overweight (thus, the nickname, bigbearJohn), and have a huge stomach to rub, sort of like the "Laughing Buddha"... and with me smiling so broadly, I must have hit the old lady's funny bone and she reached out to me with humor and sweetness. It was so cute. I almost kissed her.
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It's kind of funny and sad at the same time, but before subscribing to Thai Visa, I had a pretty good outlook about Thailand. I would say 95% of my experiences in Thailand in the last 20 years have been positive. It's only when I start reading this blog a lot that I really started hearing all these awful things. I began to wonder if I was just being naïve or simply blind to the bad things occurring in Thailand. I never knew Thailand was as bad as it is portrayed here. I guess it's simply a matter of "shock sells." TV focuses on the bad, not the good. Seems no one wants to hear the goody goody or uplifting stories.
Some of my expat friends are negative and bitter too. Some are extremely positive. I had one American friend (who died of old age in Thailand recently) once tell me that his 18 years in Thailand were the happiest and best of his entire life. As I reflect on all the friends I have had who have lived in Thailand, I found that the ones with the most positive attitude towards Thailand and its people were the ones who put the most effort into their lives in Thailand. In other words, they CONTRIBUTE to society.
I read horror stories here and wonder why these situations haven't (yet) happened to me. Then it dawned on me. I sincerely love many of the Thai people who have crossed my path (even those living in America). I try to help when I can. I show sincere appreciation, respect, enthusiasm, a big smile and love towards those people I meet in Thailand. In my life I have found that as a "general rule," people give back what they get. If you treat a Thai with discourtesy or disrespect, or treat them as if they are there to serve you, well, you are not going to have that pleasant of an experience in Thailand. However, if you can show honor, love and respect towards those you meet in Thailand (or anywhere else, for that matter), you are bound to have much more pleasant, meaningful, and reciprocal experiences in life and in Thailand.
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Do you honestly believe the girls do it to support their families??
NO, they sell their bodies to get the latest iphone, the newest motorbike and hoping to meet the ultimate sucker, who is going to buy them a house and/or car!
That is still a better reason than buying drugs IMHO
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I found a low carbo diet was very helpful. Google this for more info. Of course, stop all use of caffeine, remember pop has a lot of it not just coffee and tea. I found retiring to LOS to be EXTREMELY healthy. Valium was the go-to drug for me. The others like it are similar. Recently I've read that valium results are often in the mind of the user. In other words, you make yourself calmer by thinking the valium works. Meditation may be helpful. Ginger tea seems to be calming. Stay away from ganja.
I completely stopped ALL caffeine and that worked for me. You might also watch this video. It certainly helped me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KopmSpe33Eg
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Thanks for posting this. I was beginning to get depressed because I plan to move to Jomtien at the end of the year.People who complain about noise do not even understand that they are the problem.
At Jomtien from my condo in daytime I can only hear birds.
In evening and night insects and cicada lately.
Just try to be smarter when selecting where you live and you will know that Jomtien is still perfect :-)
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Well, I really do like the Thai people. I want to
learn the language so I can share more with them.
I think not being able to speak a country's language
locks you out of so many opportunities.
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I had to renounce my Thai citizenship when I left Thailand at the age of 18 back in 1989. My father is American and my mother is Thai. Both are still alive. I want to move back to Thailand to live permanently. It sure would be nice to get my Thai citizenship back without losing my American citizenship (just in case).You should have a Thai passport and use that for entry so no visa is required. You did not renounce your Thai citizenship did you? If you did there is a method to obtain again but if it is just the normal dual citizenship question you can obtain and use a Thai passport.
Any help?
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Too much Western influence. The internet has played a part, I'm sure.
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Happy & content in Thailand
in ASEAN NOW Community Pub
Posted
I loved this thread. So often I hear negativity on ThaiVisa. I've been to Thailand sixteen times and have some very fond memories of my long holidays here. I hear others' complaints, but I have never experienced them myself. I kind of feel that you get back whatever you give. I love the Thai people and have no hesitancy showing the same warmth towards me that they show towards me. I've made some very loyal Thai friends in Thailand. I hope to be retiring to Thailand and, to be totally honest, I am a little nervous making the jump (my own insecurities). As you get older, it seems to be harder to make huge changes. However, I have to at least try.