cms989

One thing I've noticed in comparison to American families, and actually this is true in most of the world, is the concept of family is not as narrow. In America it's usually husband, wife, kids, and to varying degrees other relatives but the core is what one usually considers their 'family.' Others are still family, but a different tier.. 'relatives.'

So if a kid is having a kid at 14, and that cycle continues, it seems you end up with a larger support system because grandma is only 50 when you're 20 and mom is 35. I'm not saying this is ideal mind you, but maybe it's not such a big deal to pop out a kid when you have so many relatives around who expect to share the burden.

Also consider the attitudes towards genders. In America women basically expect to have to support themselves, and so education and work experience are important. I can't speak for Thailand but in many cultures that isn't the case, she expects to make babies and find a man to support her. So her goal in life is basically procreation and finding financial support to raise children.

Sort of thinking out loud here, I guess my point is what is going on in the OP is probably the norm through history rather than the exception

I think it's very short sighted to get rid of backpackers with shorter term visas. Let the bums in! They tend to gravitate towards certain areas anyway, so most of your country isn't affected. But give a 20 year old backpacker 3 months bumming around your country and you have a possible repeat visitor for life and someone who will spread the word to others.

I mean Thailand is only what it is, tourist wise, because it was cheap and easy and had great beaches. If it wants to enter a new market and compete with Hawaii, good luck.

Surprised at the negativity in this topic (or should I be?) Have all of you never been in a spot in your life where you just got a bit bored and wanted to find something to do?

OP with that schedule I would pursue a second career--a lot of people have hobbies like photography, writing, music, painting, etc. that can be viable careers but the time it takes to build up an income from it limits them. Even if you don't want it as your primary career, it would be a challenge to sell your creative work. This is assuming you have a creative hobby.

If you're content staying in Chiang Mai I would look to the general idea of 'projects' that can be fulfilling in that they give you
something to work towards. Ever wanted to open a restaurant? Do it. Then hand it off to the employees for two months, come back make improvements, etc. Just one example of many.

If you want to be more leisurely, Most Westerners I know cure boredom with a hobby that allows them to shop and spend money on stuff. In Thailand your best bet for that is SCUBA. A SCUBA hobbyist would have no trouble with your schedule and would quite enjoy flying off to a great dive site first thing to hang around for a couple of months.

Where do all the students who go to TCDC come from?

I knew a guy who introduced himself to farang as "Fluke.. like <Snip!>." Spoke good English

No offense OP but i find that thread hilarious

GL

I do too, in terms of the amount of attention

In retrospect I don't think it is that big of a deal because the decision maker is not Thai.

But isn't the decision maker a Brit, we ain't so laid back and relaxed about ex colonials dress codes and shun casual Fridays.........

"First, my lord, let me please apologize for the rebellious attitudes of my ancestors.. Long Live the Queen!"

The $20k figure is referring to money in the bank after a year, living like a king here. And its totally arbitrary because I don't know what commissions look like. Thanks for the tip though

No offense OP but i find that thread hilarious

GL

I do too, in terms of the amount of attention

In retrospect I don't think it is that big of a deal because the decision maker is not Thai.

Interview is in a few days, I don't know the woman never spoke to her she is just the point of contact.

I've lived here for the better part of a year before and really enjoyed it. That's a tough question that I have been struggling with the past few days. I've just started a new entrepreneurial enterprise in a new industry, and this is going back to my old one. The question is was my new enterprise mostly motivated by the prospect of traveling/living abroad? And if so, was it mostly about traveling, or just being abroad? Because taking a full time job in Bangkok obviously is a commitment and I can't travel the way I'd envisioned. I have a flight to Jakarta at the end of the month and am lining up projects there at the moment.

Undertaking a financial risk for the new venture, a big part of me says I see a safety rope and am grabbing it before I give my new endeavor a chance to get off the ground. At the same time it's sort of unique (I'd rather not get too specific since this such a small community) in that I rarely see many opportunities abroad outside of TEFL. Walking around Paragon yesterday it was pretty tempting to imagine myself making a good salary and eating at all those nice restaurants. Living in this city with money seems like a lot of fun. Right now I'm on a pretty strict budget.

My current feeling is that this opportunity and the questions sorrounding it have distracted me from my work for the better part of a week and I should just ditch it. But I want to go to the interview because if I feel like I can pocket $20k+ over a year it might be the smart move to grit my teeth and do it, and hit the pause button on what I'm doing currently. It's sales so I really have no idea what sort of money to expect until the interview.. and that's really my primary consideration

Curious to hear what you think the automatic answer is? Hint: it isn't suit. 97.5% of the time you're overdressed in a suit and it will make you seem out of place

Why would you seek job interview advice from TV members. Most of them left employment LAST century.

I must say this thread is hysterical....as you have so rightly pointed out the last time the most the geriatrics had a job it was during the Victorian era but here we are them giving fashion and interview tips,

one suspects the vast majority of posters have never worn a suit in their lives except to maybe a funeral or when they married their tee raks

Based the OP, if it was me interviewing him, irrspective of whether he was wearing flip fllops or not...he wouldnt get the job, simply becasue he cant make a decision or apply common sense even to a basic question of what should I wear to an interview...

Wondering what to wear to an interview is might be the most common question a job candidate will have prior to an interview. Especially in a foreign country. It probably ranks third behind where is the office and who am I meeting.

Your attitude is all wrong kid.

Do everything you can to get the job, then decide if you want it.

Going in half-assed is a waste of your time and theirs.

You have a good point and that had been an issue in previous interviews I've had as a passive candidate. I brainstorm out loud comparing it to my current position and don't get an offer.

In this case I'm confident I can be "on" for the interview and do a better job at that. In the case of attire it's a question of "doing everything I can" involving a financial commitment from me, which I wasn't sure was worth it.

Anyway I spent about $100 and will look good but for the shoes, which will be new but not dress (I needed new hiking shoes if I go to Nepal). Part of me thinks subconsciously I do not want this job and am sabotaging myself--it's in the industry I came out here to leave. But the cost of living means there could be massive savings potential

I do not see any problems.

Usually when I travel or go away on vacation, I always carry a smart attire of clothes for socializing or dining out and so on. Depends on your personality and pride of appearance.

Go and buy yourself a smart pair of trousers = 600 baht, ready made in Tesco Lotus or other big stores.

A decent casual tee-shirt of shirt = 400 baht.

Pair of socks and shoes = 600 baht.

Total - 1600 baht, maybe less.

Depends on how keen you are to get the job and whether the sort of job you are applying for is worth the effort?

600 baht shoes?

i personally would not be caught dead in any of the items you describe.

we differ radically on our definition of smart and decent, that is for certain.

Sorry, the guy wearing a sukhumvit tie does not get the job

For what its worth I bought a shirt at HM which looks decent (actually really like it might buy another) and then a pair of Dockers (goddamnit they are overpriced in Thailand.. I seem to remember paying like $40 back home).

I'm just going to not wear dress shoes. No tier either. The way I see it I can make light of it during the interview but still not lose any points on the 'you're judged on your appearance regardless' thing since I'll still look good

Return via Aira Asia from Macau? Not sure what that commute is like

Ahh screw it I can't justify the shoe purchase. I just have no need for dress shoes. I got the collared shirt and pants and am buying some new trail runners. My plan was to make my way over to Nepal for the Annapurna circuit. I'll crack a joke about it at the interview.

Like someone else said if they can't get over that I don't want to work for them. As for the subconscious impression thing I think sitting down with the nice shirt will be good enough for that

A restaurant might wave you away if they have no English menu and don't think they can communicate with you. Same as a shop. To avoid embarassment. Not to insult.

Yea one thing I forget to learn in every place I visit.. and actually I don't even know the phrase I want to say in English.. but 'I am not picky, I want to order something popular here.' It's a message I can never get across and for 1-2 USD I don't really care if it backfires with a plate of fisheads now and again.

Usually I just want to be fed and am curious as to what they cook up. Maybe I should just point to something on the menu and ask for it, language be damned.

I'm no cunning linguist in Thai but how difficult is it to say 'Krapow Gai,Tom Yam Koong,Sing Yai Kab',in Thai?

I'm fine in Thailand I was more referring to other countries. I was in Taipei on a layover and wanted to try some of the local cuisine but was just clueless on how to order it. It took me a good week or two to pick up the local Thai dishes and learn how to order.

What are you talking about? Your questions are nonsense, IMO. Could it be that you don't understand much at all?

Thais should get involved because it's their country. In a typical situation, they've nothing to fear of xenophobia and racism clouding the judgment of others.

Do you understand that if you kill a Thai in self defense, you'll likely spend the rest of your life in jail for it? Please think about this if and when you decide to answer.

Over my few years here on Thai visa and reading many posts, I have concluded that there are a large percentage of ex-pats who seem to have a profound fear of Thais.

I really think if some of you were in an elevator with a Thai man and he started vomiting on you, you would not move out of his way in fear of offending him.

I do accept that we are more likely to know our own kind, because they think more alike and I suppose we believe that another farang, especially those of the same nationality have more chance of being predicable to us and that dealing with Thais, to some extend is like travelling into the twilight zone, the unknown and that can make us wary, fearful, cautious and even well over the top in many cases.

Perhaps there is some fact in the old saying, `east is east and west is west and never the twain shall meet '.

But I can remember when living in the States, England and in Europe. To me except for the languages and lifestyles, people everywhere have always appeared the same in my view. Even in the UK and the US I was cautious of becoming involved in any altercations in case the other party had a weapon. Exactly the same fear of strangers as I have in Thailand.

3 years ago in Chiang Mai I witnessed a man being knocked off his motorbike by a speeding car that did not stop and within seconds lots of people rushed to help him. I suppose in that scenario, the witnesses did not feel there were any threats to themselves if they gave assistance and therefore could play the good Samaritans without trying to become heroes. I really believe that this is the whole issue, that people are basically good, but when the odds appear to be against them, it`s a case of, what do I do? What should I do? Most of it is based on fear for their own safety and I can fully understand that. There are occasions when someone has collapsed in the street, could be a heart attack, and people have just stood there with vacant looks in their eyes. The main reason is simply that they don`t know what to do. They sort of stand there in shock.

I do know that if it were me in the same situation as was my BIL, that all my commons senses would say; look the other way and bugger off out of there, but my beliefs and conscience would overpower my common sense and the next thing I could be diving in there head first.

You are very right about 'not knowing what to do' causing people to just stand in shock.

Going back to what I mentioned earlier about having this happen to me when I witnessed a motorbike accident in Chiang Mai. After I got the first responder training, in the USA I was at a restaurant and some old lady collapsed on the sidewalk. She was writhing around in pain, literally screaming, and I was the first person to rush out to help her. A couple of other bystanders lent a hand to get her on her feet.

The other couple of people just sort of stood back and stared and I looked one in the eye and told him to call 911. I attended to the lady and assessed if she was seriously hurt or having a stroke, turn my head and everyone else had walked away. As my assessment took another minute or so she seemed to be out of immediate danger but I called 911 anyway to pass her on to more qualified people (firefighters) to be sure she was not seriously hurt (any time an elderly woman falls on her face on concrete it is serious, either because of the fall or because of what caused the fall).

In this case she was fine, I could be accused of "overreacting," but the uselessness of those bystanders sticks with me. It wasn't their fault, they didn't know what to do, but it does piss me off the guy did not call 911. That is one of the basic parts of CPR training is to tell somebody else to call 911 and you just don't expect they'll ignore you and walk away.

edit: I got off track and missed my main point. It was the training, which is really really repetitive and they make you act out scenarios over and over, that caused me to react like I did. I was just on autopilot when I jumped up to help her. Compared to Chiang Mai where I had the instinct but was clueless

You have to pay rent. The deposit is a separate issue that you can deal with should it become an issue (which it has not yet). Your agreement did not allow you to hold hostage your rent in return for your deposit.

Sorry I feel for you getting screwed over but you can't break your part of the contract.

I agree with you for the most part, but if you do follow the contract, if gives the landlord free reign to do as he sees fit. And you can't dispute it. It is total bs. I know you enter into the agreement knowing all this, but I think those agreements assume reasonable landlords, which many aren't. The default position for many landlords is to dock the deposit even when the place is perfect; make make up reasons out of thin air.

Don't get me wrong I know a renter is often in a bad position and its common practice (in Western countries, too) to get screwed out of your deposit for BS reasons.

Having been in these situation myself, though, and walking through the options.. it comes down to this. You are a renter. The entire arrangement is that you pay money to stay somewhere. The moment you stop paying to stay there your rights are nil. It's their propert and you aren't paying the be there what more do you expect?

A restaurant might wave you away if they have no English menu and don't think they can communicate with you. Same as a shop. To avoid embarassment. Not to insult.

Yea one thing I forget to learn in every place I visit.. and actually I don't even know the phrase I want to say in English.. but 'I am not picky, I want to order something popular here.' It's a message I can never get across and for 1-2 USD I don't really care if it backfires with a plate of fisheads now and again.

Usually I just want to be fed and am curious as to what they cook up. Maybe I should just point to something on the menu and ask for it, language be damned.

I am very curious to hear responses to this as it pertains to helping the woman after the incident.

Years ago in Chiang Mai I witnessed a woman crash on her motorbike at night. She was on the ground, dazed. My first instict was to run over and offer help, and standing over her, I realized I had no idea what to do. I offered my hand awkwardly and she didn't take it, just stood up, dazed, so I walked away as she got her bearings.

That incident motivated me to take an EMT-level first responders course. In the U.S. if you broke your leg, were having a heart attack or stroke, an allergy attack, whatever, I could provide help until professionals arrived.

I go back to that incident now being in Thailand and wonder what I could/should do. The language barrier would be difficult, especially in terms of two important things (identifying myself and obtaining permission to help). Add to that the bias against farang getting involved in anything. I know my legal protections in the U.S. (if I don't go above my training I cannot be liable for helping if I got permission), here in Thailand I have no idea. But my training tells me I have a moral obligation to help in all cases.

Again, this is not Thai bashing, if you come across an accident when you are driving or riding a motorbike, no matter whether it's involving women or children, you ignore it and get away, because if you become involved, they will most likely try and get money from you, or even blame you for causing it. You are Farang, you have plenty of money. That's the way the Thais see it.

That's sort of my feeling. I am not going to get involved in anything. But I've resolved myself that if someone's life is in imminent danger I will provide help if I can, no matter the consequences, because I wouldn't want their death on my conscience.

Easier said than done of course. On my flight out here they asked for a doctor or nurse because someone was seriously sick, and I didn't have the confidence to say I was anything close to that. But even doctors involved in my training told me often first responders are much better because doctors may not be well trained in emergency care outside their speciality (many stories of egotistical doctors trying to control a situation when it is the technician who knows what needs to be done to keep someone alive until they can get to a hospital, it is a different skill). I.e. your probably want a paramedic not a dermatologist if your leg gets cut off in a car wreck.

You have to pay rent. The deposit is a separate issue that you can deal with should it become an issue (which it has not yet). Your agreement did not allow you to hold hostage your rent in return for your deposit.

Sorry I feel for you getting screwed over but you can't break your part of the contract.

Unfortunately for me I would not be able to stand by while that was happening and would take immediate action and take the guy out, I realize that I would be putting myself at risk but as a man I could not live with myself watching a man beatin on a woman when i had the power to help.

First this is a tough argument to start because you're obviously morally right and this is a hypothetical situation so I think you have an easier position to defend.

That said.. there are some parts of the world where this would be a very, very bad idea. Unfortunately in some parts of the world women are seen as much lesser objects. Foreigners even lower. By trying to intervene to help a woman (possibly another man's wife, for example), you would put yourself in a world of shit with everyone who was witnessing it. And although your original intention of helping the woman may be noble, the world of shit you created would create worse outcomes for you and everybody else.

diddums, on 16 Mar 2013 - 19:27, said:

Neeranam, on 16 Mar 2013 - 19:25, said:

cms989, on 16 Mar 2013 - 19:22, said:

I feel like I've been refused service at restaurants but can't be sure. Always when eating alone. One of the two times I waited a really good long while as others were served just to be sure what was happening. Then I just leave.

I'm a normal looking guy so I guess it just comes down to poor service and/or taking up table space

Why didn't you ask why?

Some thai staff are just too shy or not confident to go and ask the foreigner what he wants for fear of embarrassment in not understanding....had it happen few times

Seems to me more like some foreigners are just too shy or not confident to go and tell the Thai what he wants for fear of embarrassment in not understanding.

To be clear these were pretty pedestrian establishments with many other options nearby. Once I got a sense the service was going to be terrible it made more sense just to walk 10 feet and go somplace else. These were places with waiter service so I'm not going to get up and beg them to give me food