bostonboy

we had the same issue with my German Shepherd when i moved with him to Phuket. Anytime we'd walk down the street all the soi dogs would go wild

he has since passed at 16yrs old

we now have a 16mos old Golden Retriever in Vancouver but have thoughts on moving to Hua Hin in the near future

i'd love to be able to let my dog run w/o leash early morning on beach w/o soi dogs coming after us

even my wife said,with the German Shepherd, it wasn't as much an issue because he was the most quiet dog but he didn't take any shit when they came near him

but our Golden is so dopey( just loves every dog/person) that we are afraid he will run up to any of them and get bit

in the mountains, do you have to worry about snakes?

You seem like a deadbeat to me if I knew your landlord I will tell to call the BIB and have put in jail. You will never pay once you get home.

-

Key word is "seem" - your perception has more to do with your outlook on life than reality. Thanks for your concern but you're wrong, and I hope your desire to be an agent of karma in the world doesn't come back and bite you in the butt one day. What comes around goes around, but taking action yourself can bring unintended consequences.

People contacting me offline are starting to convince me to perhaps accept help clearing it in full before I leave, so thanks to everyone offering to help. . .

you honestly have people offering you loans?

how stupid can they be?

i am not bashing you, but i just wouldn't lend you money based on your history

especially with you leaving the country, not that great of prospects at home, etc...

I too lived in Asoke for a few years - in Las Colinas, next door to soi Cowboi. 2 bedroom apartment, 100 sq metres. Thb 32k a month. Nothing fancy, just comfortable (and convenient, I should add). Add in internet, cable TV, utilities, it comes to 35k. I would consider that a fairly decent standard of living, just not doable on 40k monthly salary.

You'd have to pay me to live next to Soi Cowboy. What a lot of people fail to understand is that the massively overpriced 'central' locations near the farang red light areas are completely undesirable for many people. You can get a 2 bedroom for 1/4 to 1/2 that price and not have to put up with living next to a whorehouse and deal with hundreds of hookers, sex tourists, taxi touts, scammers, ladyboys, and beggars everywhere. Not to mention I'd be embarrassed to take anyone to my apartment and have them see my choice of location.

The main difference in expenditure for most people seems to be housing (farang ghetto or middle class Thai area), food (farang pubs or Thai/home made), drinking (farang bar or Thai bar), and women (employee or contributor). Many people DON'T WANT to live in the farang ghetto, or eat British/American pub food every night, or drink in European pubs every night. Quite easy to keep your spending low while affording a nice place to live, eating out every meal, making car payments, and having a girlfriend.

i'd be perfectly happy living in a Thai neighborhood, as long as the quality of accomodation was good

but, i wouldn't have a problem living behind Soi Cowboy also

my wife and I have stayed at Citadines Soi 24 and it is nice back there( and we didn't go to SC once)

there are great little pubs/restaurants on that winding type cross street

Thong Lor is a great area to live if you decide to live in BKK

Your joking right ? 40k a month!!! More like 120-200k a month when you add eating out 7 days a week, shopping, bar bill nightly for the man 2k. The wife drinks water.

Villa staff costs 20k ,

Then bills such as car fuel ,

I've met people out here who say they live on 30k their lives are very fugal (right word ?)

I'd love to know how you accomplish that!

I really wonder how a family of 4 ( 2 adults and 2 children ) in Europe survives, where an average household of 2 working people will earn 100 - 120.000 Baht a month after taxes, and have to deal with most expenses about double or triple the price for the same in Thailand.

i don't think Thailand would be all that much cheaper than when i live in Vancouver

Vancouver:

rent 48,000

utilities 4,000

food- 12,000

entertainment- 30,000

health care-free

no car, we live downtown

total 74k

Thailand:

rent-25,000 ( and if wanted similar to quality i have in Vancouver, 60k)

utilities- 2,000

food- 10,000

entertainment- 15,000

health care-5,000

MB/CAR for 2 people- 4-6,000

total- 63k and i would be downsizing in quality of accommodation

may not apply

but we live in Vancouver and went to Japanese consulate

although we ended up not going to Japan, they made it seem like when we did apply, there shouldn't be any issues

she has a WP in Canada and 10yr visitor visa to US, so that helps i think

I lived in that area for a long time just blocks away, off Westland Avenue across from Fenway Park. My friends joked that Fenway Park was my second home.

It's unsettling to know you've stood many times on those same sidewalks that just hours ago were littered with injured people in what clearly must be a terrorist attack. Three dead now.

A number of runners kept going, running to the nearby hospitals to donate blood. These are athletes from throughout the world.

The marathon is always held on the official state holiday of Patriot's Day, which marks the first battle of the Revolution at nearby Lexington and Concord bridge.

The last I'd heard in emails to me (cell phone service is shut off for security reasons) the authorities were in the burb of Revere (yes, as in Paul Revere) swarming around a residence so I'm waiting to hear what if anything comes of that. The authorities are there in full force, all of 'em, so there should be some word on that soon.

Been following this since early this morning here, on TV and doing emails to many back home. I can hardly keep up.

I'm fully confident the rat bastards who did this will get their justice too.

i was actually there for 9/11

saw the 2nd plane go through with my own eyes

and i lived in NYC for 12 years, consider it my 2nd home

but i am more effected about yesterday even sitting across the continent in Vancouver because that is MY HOME

wow, is all i can say

it is Patriot Day in Boston but might as well call it Boston Day

it is such a "Boston" day with holiday exclusive to Boston, Red Sox always play, marathon with tons of parties

i think they did the bomb as late as they did because that is when things get a little lax and people are going/coming from all different directions

thank god because if it was 2-3 hours before there would have been many more casualties

now we just wait to hear what really went down

my brother-in-law was top cop in Mass and now Chief of Police of University near the bombing

probably won't talk to him until tomorrow but I am sure he will have some knowledge

unreal

Bostonboy, you seem to have misunderstood me; it was not you nor your posts that my antediluvian comment was directed towards.

I said "If a woman wants to keep her name upon marriage that is her affair and choice, no one else's." To which I should have added that if she wishes to take her husband's name then that, too, is her choice.

I have no problem with women choosing to take their husband's name upon marriage; my wife did.

But it was her choice, not mine.

i didn't think you were directing it at me

and i tend to agree with you that customs/thoughts have changed

i am pretty progressive in my thoughts

i am just happy she chnaged her last name because i do think it is advantageous to her

To be honest, i don't think your story is that uncommon

I think there is many underwhelming guys in the real world that find Thailand, get attention from the ladies way more than they ever did at home, feel a bit more than just an ordinary guy and get addicted to the whole lifestyle. and most times, just feeling that extra sense of recognition when they walk into a store, bar, restaurant gives them a little ego boost

so instead of thinking rationally, they move to Thailand with not enough funding and as long as they can support their addiction( finally feeling special) than they don't think of the consequences

then once the shit hits the fan, they are relying on the people who stuck it out in the real world to bail them out

Interesting idea

Life of mediocrity and loneliness in the West Vs feeling special with beautiful young lovers in the East

Which life to choose?

Which is the rational choice?

by the way........i think the girls is only a small part of what i was referring to

it is the initial reason for most

but i think it is more the overall feeling of finally standing out that is the draw for a lot of guys that move to Thailand( not all)

To be honest, i don't think your story is that uncommon

I think there is many underwhelming guys in the real world that find Thailand, get attention from the ladies way more than they ever did at home, feel a bit more than just an ordinary guy and get addicted to the whole lifestyle. and most times, just feeling that extra sense of recognition when they walk into a store, bar, restaurant gives them a little ego boost

so instead of thinking rationally, they move to Thailand with not enough funding and as long as they can support their addiction( finally feeling special) than they don't think of the consequences

then once the shit hits the fan, they are relying on the people who stuck it out in the real world to bail them out

happens 1000's of times a year in Thailand

as for the OP, a lot of us make financial mistakes. I know i have not saved as much as i should have at 41yrs old but fortunately i have a well paying job and am not addicted to needing to feel special in Thailand, so i am fairly on track

but i think when you do get back to the west, you need to try and deal with your Thailand addiction( because you have it) and get it out of your system

once you do that, you can move on in the real world and give your kid's what they deserve

We live in the 21st century, not the 19th!

If a woman wants to keep her name upon marriage that is her affair and choice, no one else's.

OP, you have your answer; there is no legal compulsion in Thailand for a woman to take her husband's name upon marriage. Ignore the antediluvian posters and their ridiculous comments.

actually i wouldn't care about my wife not taking my name over any sort of customs

but i would have been disappointed that she wasn't taking advantage of advantages i precieved

did not matter

the day after we got married, she jumped in a taxi with her mom 3hrs each way to Petchaburi to change her ID to my last name

wether is was because felt it was advantageous to her or she loved me so much, either way i was happy she did that........although i have never asked her to

she has subsequently told me she likes having my last name because it is the same name as my mom, brothers and what my sister's last name used to be

makes her feel more part of the family

i can't see anything wrong with any of that

Never once did I say anything about me and pattaya.

I wish north korea would point their missile there.

Just saying that the average schmo that comes to thailand is of the same mental capacity as the average fortuna driving Thai fella. In my opinion of course.

And was wondering if there was any link

There's bogans in every country for sure. But this country and attracts more than its fair share..

i think it is the perceived passive nature of asians and Thais in general

where they fawn on your or make these guys feel special

a reason why i like CM is i feel it is the one touristy area in Thailand where you can go about your day and not be the farang

and i think all this feeling of being special to guy's that were more than likely less spectacular, it goes to their heads

because you do see it more in Thailand than anywhere else

i travel to Latin America and sure, you still have your know it all ex-pats and travelers, but outside the concentrated p4p areas..........people just seem to leave you about your business

so guys going down there/living there don't seem to have that inflated ego they do in Thailand

to the OP

here in Vancouver

pretty much every educated Thai girl that is from an upper middle class family prefers to date Thai men only

you very rarely see anything but former bg's and couples with a big age gap with foreigner's

it just the truth

and my wife is an ex-bg.......so i am not looking down on that

that being said. if your wife is conservative, and acts appropriately.......why wouldn't she fit in with family and friends?

not to sound snooty, but i work in an industry that is very lucrative( i am not at the top of the chain, not at bottom)

my wife has been to conferences that have had many millionaires attended and by all accounts, has gotten on fine

been to homes worth 4-5mil usd regularly

goes out regularly with my friend's wife, whose family owns one of the biggest independent clothing chains in Canada

goes to the movies with my friend's wife and her friend, who is a doctor

none of that is some kind of brag.

it is just reality and i don't think any of these people give it a 2nd thought of what she may have done before or where she comes from

my sister's adore my wife and she spends most days with them when we go to visit back in the states( but my family shouldn't look down on anyone!)

on the flip, so it is not just a money thing

my wife's best friend here is married to a local author. he isn't rich but obviously socializes with other intellectuals

and they absolutely adore his wife

so for the OP, i honestly can't think of a situation i know of the many where the thai girl's are not accepted by friends and families. i would be hard pressed to think about a situation where they don't totally adore their new sister-in-law/daughter-in-law

I might be inclined to agree with the OP were it not for the fact that here, in Thailand, the locals, for the most part, have little in the way of a choice as to the level of education they receive.

This is not the case for most Western men who choose to live here.

Even if it was, could the boorish, loud-mothed behaviour of a large proportion of Westerners living in or visiting Thailand really be blamed on a lack of education and/or opportunities? I don't think so.

I think it more likely that, after a lifetime of being financially and socially unremarkable, these grunts finally have the means with which to enjoy both the relative financial superiority their coin gives them over the majority of the locals and the opportunities it creates with Thai women.

Going from zero to hero by virtue of taking a seat on a long haul flight can turn even a normally decent fellow into a complete and utter tool overnight.

good post

you know how many "normal" people we run into that have visited Thailand?

for outweighs mongers

and where have you seen Thai people bitch and moan about working?

my wife's siblings work their asses off in menial jobs

most of the Thais we know here in Vancouver are hard working, mostly educated people

fyi, my wife was a former-bg

has been working all her life since she was 14yrs old( not as a bg then!!)

now works 2 jobs

i will just never get these guys that choose to live in a country that they openly don't like anything about it

but as you say, they do so because it makes them feel oh so special than when they were just pee-ons in the real world

This isn't a case of, some farang guy knocked over an old lady and stole her purse to pay for some drugs. Should be obvious I would think.

No it isn't--it may even be worse. Because it's about a betrayal of trust, not to mention a good deal of money. You seem to have an awful lot of sympathy for this guy. Maybe skipping rent is the standard MO in your world. It certainly isn't in mine...or other responsible adults. And it does make a difference that FF is a foreigner. The typical Thai can't just flee the country like certain farangs can (or thinks he can). This is why some landlords ask for obscene amounts of deposits from farangs, clearly necessary to avoid cases like this.

this is worse but similar to when you have an expat who has made the choice to the "easier life" in Thailand than be back home working for a living

one that always makes me bristle is when some long time expat gets into and accident and then of course, doesn't have insurance as an adult and you have the inevitable thread on these forums from his friends begging for money to help out, always prefacing it by saying "no need for snarky comments"

sure where do i sign up to give the irresponsible adult money because he was too lazy or too insecure to be back home living a normal life!!

hey man, i think it is commendable that you are sitting here answering all the questions

i just don't understand why you would have remained in Thailand for so long knowing you could have went home and improved your financial conditions

i think that is what frustrates a lot of people on here because they feel guys like yourself make them look bad, and they are partially right

i understand you had thai children but i think you are like one of many many who would rather live in Thailand irresponsibly than go back home and face the world ina repsonsible manner

i don't know what it is about Thailand that almost drugs people into this type of thinking. wether it is the girls, people kissing your ass or finally standing out because you are a farang in a foreign country

i am not making judgements on your financial situation other than try and understand your reasoning on staying in Thailand so long

'bostonboy'

if you live in Thailand, you would know that Thai's don't tend to treat each other very well

Hahahaha Dou you have any clue?

Maybe people didnt treat your wife very well for other reasons than her being thai.

one thing i don't have a clue about is how to edit posts!! 555

a lot of timesbwhen i give an opinion it is based on also getting my wife's and other thai's opinions

although, i have my own opion, it is good to get their perspective, of course

my wife says it all the time, that she feels people treat each other much better here in Canada than they do each other in Thailand

and from my time living there and now frequently visiting, i wholeheartedly agree

'bostonboy'

if you live in Thailand, you would know that Thai's don't tend to treat each other very well

Hahahaha Dou you have any clue?

Maybe people didnt treat your wife very well for other reasons than her being thai.

just my opinion

i think thai's treat each other like shit in Thailand

all the petty face crap and who is highre than who

i've seen it countless times

Agreeing to such demands shows that she is only interested in her own well being. If she wants more on top of the essentials you already pick up tell her to get a job! It may only be a small amount of money but its the principle and caving would open the situation up to other equally silly requests in the future. There is a difference between spending money on your wife of your own free will and being asked for a salary. Thai or no Thai it's cheeky and if you intend to spend the rest of your life with her I think she needs a reality check. This isn't a free for all, it's a marriage.

i think the crux of the matter is if your wife works or not, and the reason why she doesn't work

if my wife didn't work for a legitmate reaosn, i woild give her her "own money"

and i guess you could call that a salary for taking care of the house and children??

i think i see the other way a lot in Thailand where guys want to keep control of their tg, make them have to ask for money

makes them feel important

I am flabbergasted that anyone would look down on her request for 2-3k per month. Jesus F**ing H Christ, that's $100 USD!! You can't pay a parking ticket in a major US city for that!

I would bet she's like most Thai women: loving, caring, pretty, younger than the man, etc etc.

Go back to your home country, Moneybags, and see if you'd be willing to part with that precious "extra" $100 every month for the kind of treatment you get from a woman here.

Unbelievable.

Only problem with your logic, we aint in America we are in Thailand.

Why people get involved with girls from the peasant class that are either unwilling or unable to get off their ass and support themelves is beyond me, still each to their own.

Back in my home countrty I didnt have to pay girls to stay with me, or me with them, why should I do so here?

i am not one of those guys that hates western woman or say being with a western woman is the same as paying for p4p

BUT...........all the married guys in work spend a ton on their wives. so just because your wife is Thai, she should be limited?

my thai wife works more hours than i do

some days, wakes up at 6am and gets home at 11pm

but if we were in a situation( and we have been) where she is not working, i am going to make sure she is comfortable, as i would with any wife of any nationality

BUT...........all the married guys in work spend a ton on their wives.

Sorry, you have lost me, I dont know what you mean.

The last 3 women I was involved with in the west before coming to Asia, all had their own house, jobs and cars.

Sometimes I lived with them sometimes they lived with me, other times we split the time.

Never once have I had a western woman ask me for money.

Would I choose to help a wife who was made unemployed, of course I would, would I carry on paying her money to sit on her ass and not bother looking for a job, of course not.

my thai wife works more hours than i do

Good man, sounds like you got yourself a good one, one who works and contributes to make a marriage work.

it sounds like they are getting married so not just a gf situation

as i said, i don't want my wife sitting around doing nothing also. I think you see way too many situations in Thailand where a perfectly capable 30yr old tg is sitting around doing nothing. wastes their brain. but i think it is hard when your in a situation like the OP( and mine would be similar in Thailand) where the only job your wife could get is working as a waitress or something for 15k/mo and working 6 days a week

me personally, i would look serious into starting a business for us/her that will be worthwhile for the hours put into it

Without commenting on the OP's particular situation I tend to agree with Mac. If you and your family really have standing in the community, you should be able to document that without the intervention of a Member of Congress. The people at the US Embassy in Bangkok are savvy and know that the letter was actually written by a person on the Member's staff and signed by the Member without reading it or maybe even by an automated signature machine.

that was 100% my experience

my wife got the visa and seem to think it helped, but i guess i will never know

I am flabbergasted that anyone would look down on her request for 2-3k per month. Jesus F**ing H Christ, that's $100 USD!! You can't pay a parking ticket in a major US city for that!

I would bet she's like most Thai women: loving, caring, pretty, younger than the man, etc etc.

Go back to your home country, Moneybags, and see if you'd be willing to part with that precious "extra" $100 every month for the kind of treatment you get from a woman here.

Unbelievable.

Only problem with your logic, we aint in America we are in Thailand.

Why people get involved with girls from the peasant class that are either unwilling or unable to get off their ass and support themelves is beyond me, still each to their own.

Back in my home countrty I didnt have to pay girls to stay with me, or me with them, why should I do so here?

i am not one of those guys that hates western woman or say being with a western woman is the same as paying for p4p

BUT...........all the married guys in work spend a ton on their wives. so just because your wife is Thai, she should be limited?

my thai wife works more hours than i do

some days, wakes up at 6am and gets home at 11pm

but if we were in a situation( and we have been) where she is not working, i am going to make sure she is comfortable, as i would with any wife of any nationality

I am flabbergasted that anyone would look down on her request for 2-3k per month. Jesus F**ing H Christ, that's $100 USD!! You can't pay a parking ticket in a major US city for that!

I would bet she's like most Thai women: loving, caring, pretty, younger than the man, etc etc.

Go back to your home country, Moneybags, and see if you'd be willing to part with that precious "extra" $100 every month for the kind of treatment you get from a woman here.

Unbelievable.

if we were in Thailand i wouldn't have an issue with the pocket money. i don't want my wife to have to ask me for money every time she needs it

even in Canada, i didn't have an issue

BUT.......now that she works and has her own money, it certainly make our relationship better

she feels better about not having to ask for money and having her own money

but i agree with your post. it seems guys want to put a limit on how much their tg gets, to make them feel secure

before my wife started working, and she 'd be back in Thailand, i gave her about 30k/mo that supported her, her mom and stepson.

that paid for her townhouse(9k all in w/ utilities), son's daily school money( about 100baht/day)

i could have sent less by why do i want my wife walking around limited to what she can do. worrying she ca't go to a movie, beauty or grab a decent meal besides sitting on the street

now, she just went back to Thailand for a month. paid for plane ticket herself,and asked for no spending money

why wouldn't you change it?

i think it has nothing but advantages for her to take your western name

wether we want to believe it or not, people are biased

she hands over her passport with a name someone can't pronounce, they are going to have some sort of pre-concieved notions

it is just natural

>snipped>

But for the people who choose to live here in thailand after marriage, that "name someone can't pronounce" would be the western name. So why would you change it?

Sophon

as i said, my wife says she get treated infinitely better in Thailand with a western name

if you live in Thailand, you would know that Thai's don't tend to treat each other very well

my wife travels back and forth w/o me or ahead of me quite often and is often checking into hotels/flights in Thailand and feels much more comfortable doing so with a western last name

she actually questions why some of her friends don't bother to chnage their name

If you didn't get the affidavit from the embassy your marriage is not legal and that will bite you in the butt someday.

Their is only the embassy for the Affirmation of Permit to Marry. Then go to a translator to have it translated to Thai. They can also get it certified at the MFA for a small additional charge.

After that after that a trip to the Amphoe/Khet for the marriage registration.

Four thousand baht that does not include the embassy fee is very expensive in my opinion.

i connected with the visa service after i signed the Affidavit at the US Embassy

for me, them taking care of the rest was well worth the 4k

some people don't mind the legwork, i hate it

i'd rather pay someone to do it