thaipopsy

Everyone have a "dream" car....

Money or Gold.... Anything else she may not like even if she will show appreciation. She may use the money or sell the gold to buy what she REALLY like. Thai way. My way.

On 12/30/2017 at 8:55 PM, Sheryl said:

Indeed you do nto have to worry about catching herpes from him if you are not having sex with him. Herpes cannot be caught from bedsheets, towels or other inanimate objects, only through sex. (So much for his claim that he doesn't know how he got it -- he must know, since there is only one way to get it). 

 

He has not been fully honest with you regarding his willingness to  be celibate, and he has in fact had sex with someone else at least once.

 

Although your husband is American, it is not unusual for western men to "go native" in their attitudes towards extramarital sex once in Thailand, and in particular to feel that sex with a prostitute/bar girl doesn't "count" as infidelity (as many Thai men also feel). He may even think that  he is doing you a kindness to go elsewhere for his needs since  he knows you are no longer interested.

 

You need to have a frank discussion with him to get all this out in the open and decide how to proceed from here.

 

There are counselors in Bangkok who can do couples therapy.   See the links below.

http://www.psiadmin.com/

http://ncs-counseling.com/

www.bangkokpsychology.com
 

I suggest you tell him, firmly, that you know he has been unfaithful and that it  troubles you. It may help reduce his defensiveness if you add that you realize that  your own lack of interest in sex may be why it happened, (and it is true). Then ask him to go with you for some short term counselling to sort things out.

 

If he refuses to go, go by yourself so that at least you can get some help in sorting out your feelings and deciding what to do.

 

If it were me in your shoes the dishonesty would be a bigger issue, than the sex and getting him to acknowledge the truth and discuss it would be important.

 

It also sounds like you are either going to have to (1)  try to revive your sex life (there are measures you can take to reduce the risk of getting infected by him, and hormone therapy might help revive your libido -- if you want it revived, many women in your situation  don't) OR (2) come to some agreement regarding him having extramarital sex. Because it seems, whatever the level of his sex drive, it is not totally dormant.

 

 

Thank you for your input...but now I am confused. I asked my husband to do a blood test to see if he got more than herpes. We also did together. Was negative, and about the herpes situation the nurse said that he may got herpes seating in a toilette, sharing a cup, a towel, or wth any skin contact with an infected person. Even my doctor told me the same.

I am a 50 years old woman from Spain/half Thai, living in Thailand for the last 10 years with my American husband. He is 65 years old. We have a stable life, and very happy in many ways, but without sex for the last 2 years. Just given his satisfaction some times. One of the reasons for that was because I lost interest in sex after menopause, and he was fine with that. He never show me any sign of infidelity, and he is the kind of domestic person, without addictions, and not interest in bars and parties. He also said that he was not so much interested in sex anymore, and we had not problem with our celibate. We are active and healthy, looking even a lot younger than our real age.

This week my husband had a medical exam in his genitals for what he felt was skin allergy, or something similar. The doctor found out that he got herpes.... and told that we will have to be careful because it is a contagious condition. I asked my husband if he had sexual contacts with somebody and he denied it. He said that he do not have idea how that happens. Now I am not sure if he was not cheating me in the last 3 years. The problem now is also that I am not feeling safe sharing our home and our bed with the chance to him passing the infection to me. I am having toughs of divorcing him. We do not have children, and I am an independent woman. I am very confuse with all this and without close friends to talk about it. I had a calm life with my husband, based in mutual truth and respect, we had mutual friends, most foreigners, great people, and I feel bad just thinking in be alone again, at my age, and in a foreign country. How to explain to them this situation if I decided to divorce my husband??? Please share your opinion about this, only sending messages to me.  Thank you.

Well...I am here now because the ladies section is boring..and my husband just told me to log in and call him if something interesting is going on.... He is getting too lousy lately...

No surprise here. I have a girlfriend, soldier in the US Army..she mention to me that the US Army had problems recruiting men, and will soon place more women in no fighting positions to free men for combat duties. A big and long war is on the horizon....

A friend of mine booked in a well known hotel chain in Chiang Rai last week with her farang boyfriend... She booked with her Thai ID, and the hotel didn't asked for any document from the farang, even for him to fill the hotel form. I was present and surprised....

As far as the OP... she sounds like too much baggage and attitude for me.

There's a way things should be and there's a way things are.

The social, age, educational and especially cultural differences of thai/farang relationship pose series challenges. Most will not succeed as true loving marriages. There will be the underlying security for the thai woman and she will stay only for that, the smart ones take the farang for everything he's got.

Realistically I agree with a thai woman doctor that told me, the reputation here is quick love or as she put it, 'easy come, easy go'.

She said a lot of the girls don't even know what true love is...

I'll continue to date while I live here, because I can and there is the saying, I used her and she used me. It's usually fun until the stupidity, jealousy and lack of rational forward thinking appear.

I've had more meaningful relationships with the filipina.

Very well said, mate. Couldn't agree more. Especially on that last one.

This doctor, did she mean quick love is the norm for Thai girls with any man or just with foreigners? One thing I've noticed here is many of the Thai girls that date foreigners have some tale about a lone Thai man that broke their heart and ruined them on Thai men forever. Yet these same girls will date foreigner after foreigner who often times do them the same or worse than any Thai man ever has or would. Which kinda tells me the feeling with foreigners just isn't the same. The heart is not in it.

I would have to agree with that. I have been told many times by Thai girls that only a Thai man can break the heart of a Thai girl. A farang that speaks ten words of Thai and is only good for supplying money is simply not going to break her heart. If a farang leaves a Thai girl, her sadness is the same as if her prized buffalo jumped the fence and ran away to another pasture..... :-)

And I agree with them. I married my husband because we had good understanding and comunication. He do not do speak a word in Thai, but my English is good enough to make love, to have good time, to have fun, and to fighingt and argumenting knowing what we are doing and why.

For a farang to date or married a Thai woman without means of comunication, only if love is not the main reason. Love and care cannot be possible without understanding, Most honest women are more seduced with sweet talk, than sex or money.

Berkshire, I'm now doubting Ms Popsy will come clean.

Perhaps the thread should be closed down if no word from her?

Hard to say who's for real and who's not anymore. Just don't understand why someone would start a thread and just disappear. Unless they're trolling....

Sorry guys...I do not have so much time to be looking at this forum, that sometimes is interesting. My husband do. I work very hard and 7 days a week, something you do when working in an own business. My husband just take care of the home, the garden, fishing by the lake, and meeting friends..and cooking many times. He is a wonderful cook! He do not feel bad that I make more money than him. Me neither. We have enough to have a nice life. He is 15 years older than myself, that is very common age difference for couples in this country. My first Thai husband was 12 years older than me. I am happy that I found a good "farang", a smart one, because between Thai and foreigners the problem is the language. Without a good communication love cannot exist. My husband is a very good looking old guy, strong and funny. He makes me laugh all the times because we like to have fun. And he is a fantastic lover too.

But, most important, we are craze in love.

What I do not understand is about couples with 25 years or more difference in age, and without any good language skills. And women talk..a lot in Thailand...more than in western countries...with all details, and we know what is happening in those marriages. Very sad, but we keep smiling.

Thank you for all the info.

My husband was wrong about the marriage extension rules. He is on a retirement extension..

Does this "friend" know he is "getting married" to your friend ?

Has the gentleman ever met his proposed "bride"

The financial requirements for an extension of stay based on marriage are

1. 400.000 Bht in a Thai Bank account

OR

2. A certified income of 40,000 Baht/Month.

The US $ currently buys approx 33 Bht and therefore an income of $1000 US/ month will fail to meet option (2) re

I am uncertain what the $16,000 (528,000 Bht) could possibly be related to ..................................

1) They never met in person, just chatting on skype for the last 3 months....but....she speaks English well.No problem. I married my husband after dating here 6 times in 2 months. We are doing very well, having a lot of good times. I work, he fish, and take care of the garden.

2) I need to confirm numbers for the combination income/bank deposit for marriage extension or retirement extension. The $16,000 is related to the combination for retirement extension with $1, 000 US monthly income.. It is correct?

3) Anyway, money is not a problem. My friend is wealthy. The American is not wealthy, but a very nice guy. Good looking people together....and my husband needs a fishing buddy.

OK....About "combination of both"

My husband said that with $1,000 US/month income, to get the combination he needs just to deposit $4,000 in the Thai bank account for the marriage extension, and $16,000 for the retirement extension.

I need to confirm that to my friend. Thank you.

An American friend of my husband is coming next month to meet a friend of mine, and probably getting married.

He is 62 years old, retired with a $1,000 US monthly retirement income.

My husband told me that he will need to keep a bank deposit here of about $4,000 US for 2 months to qualify for the marriage extension, but if he will not getting married the deposit will have to be about $16,000 US, and made from the US to a Thai bank.

I believe that my husband is right, but I will like to be sure before telling my friend about, and also I will like to know how soon will need to get married to apply for that visa extension after arrival. He is coming with a tourist visa.

Thank you.

I posted here now and before, because my husband do sometimes for his business, and he mention this forum, and that for business info is good, but he also said that most foreigners here are very low level people living in Thailand because cannot deal with its country challenges and women.

I can tell now, that he is right. My friends will have to look for men out of Thailand. Thai men are inmature and cheaters. Most foreigners in Thailand...or at least in this forum, are inmature and loosers.....Anyway....its are perfect matches for young bar girls and young gold diggers, and an useful commodity for them. Good luck guys. I am out of here. Enough for my day off at work....and I need to think about dinner.

This is getting amusing. Ok, Ms. Popsy, so you're going to recommend to "your friend" that she should look for men outside of Thailand. Let me ask you this: why would a successful American man, living in the USA where females are plentiful, be seeking a woman in a foreign land, whom he's never met, who does not share his values/beliefs, does not speak the same language, whom he knows nothing about, why would he be seeking to begin a long distance relationship with a Thai woman? Hint: He wouldn't. When I was a young, successful stud living in the USA, I had no interest in beginning a long distance relationship with foreign women I've never met. The kind of men living in America and seeking Thai women in Thailand are much bigger losers than farangs living in Thailand.

Females are plentiful in The US???? Good ones???, Beautiful ones??? Are you American?

What you stated probably that is true for millionaires, not for my husband and his friends that are successful men but not rich. All them in their sixties and dating old, and fat women that sometime in life were beautiful. In the US I met a lot of very good looking old guys....without so many choices. Good looking women?...sorry..only some of the very young ones I may call beauties.

And....you can try to be "educated" and not want to recognize that beauty is the first thing that men notice in women.... Or not?

Long distance relationships?

Those American men I met several times in the US are ready to come and take a nice Thai woman to the US.

Most educated and/or professional mid age Thai women do not have problems in moving to foreign countries, and even get good jobs there, and...by my own and my friends experiences, even not having problems in getting any foreign visa.

American mid age men are very, really very much interested in meet a nice Thai woman, but it is true that it is not very easy without good connections. The same for Thai women that are looking for suitable foreign men. Sometimes they get lucky when traveling overseas or in business meetings, because most work for foreign companies, earning foreign salaries, and speaking good English.

By the way, 15 years difference in age is normal here and in many countries for mid age people, but it is a lot for very young women. When I was in my 20s, I never even tought in getting married with a 40 plus man, Thai or foreigner. That is also normal thinking here in Thailand with family girls.

Bar girls, and gold diggers, are not the normal here, even if some foreigners do not believe that......Why?

I do not know....but I am just curious about.

My 25 years old daughter not will married a 40 years old.....even if millionaire, Thai or foreigner. She is dating a 30 years old professional, and that is the Thai way....and I believe that it is also the American way.....the European way...the Latino way....

Many honest, hard working and beautiful Thai women are looking for just love....real love. Just look for them in the right places... if you are really interested.

By the way.....people from Hill tribes in Thailand, not only live longer, they do not have any idea what it is prostate problems, breast cancer, or sexual organs problems, and after serious investigation about it in 1997, was found that they use to slice and eat roots of Kwao Krua, original from North Thailand. Now it is sold in capsules and creams. Unfortunately there are a lot of fakes products using the name. If you are interested in know more, let me know. I am kind of expert on that, and also had prostate problem before moving to Thailand, and rejecting laser surgery. Not anymore. It is natural and totally safe. Collateral effects? Yes..and may be a problem for some people...Kwao Kua is also an aphrodisiac for men and woman. I am 70..and married with a lot younger Thai. Just perfect!

Sent you a message.

There seems to be a clinical trial done that shows its good for ED, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12937809 but I can't find much on it for prostate care, do you have any links?

A friend told me that he recommended Pueraria Mirifica here. I introduced the product to him when we met, long ago. I work in the Natural Medicine field.

He need it a "bump"....at that time. 55555

This information is very good, but have many others online, specially in Thai.

Clinical trial of Butea superba, an alternative herbal treatment for erectile dysfunction.

NOTE: Most studies in Thailand were done at the Mae Fah Luang University in Chiang Rai

Pueraria Mirifica only grows in some mountain areas of Thailand and Burma, not in any other part of the world.

This herbal extract contains organic elements that act over the hormonal system, balancing any alteration, specially at old age. It is called the herb of youth because "balancing" means "rejuvenating" the hormonal system. In women in menopause, can even restore menstruation and fertility. That's why also may restore prostate problem in men. At the same time restore libido. But.....do not act after taking it, like Viagra or other stimulants. Results takes time, 3 to 6 months, after the use of the right dosage, about 100 mg/day. Also protect all the sexual organs from cancer. The cream extract preparation of this herb is also used to increase breast size in women, and works!

No contraindications, but is not recommended its use for people under 35 years old, pregnant women, or people under cancer treatments.

It is an amazing product.

WOW! After reading most post here talking about Thai women, Looks like most foreigners here do not like Thai women..or Asian women.....Very bad opinions here, some even offensive. I have many women friends in my age looking to date foreigners but cannot find any suitable to them....Now I understand why. I am an average Thai woman, just taller than most.... and I speak a little English because I work for a foreign company in BK. By the way....Between my coworkers..I am the ugliest one, but the other are single. I got lucky.

My husband told me many times that I am the most beautiful woman he ever met.... and I think he is a very handsome guy for his age.... Most Americans I met in our travel do. I will tell my friends to look for foreigners out of Thailand...even for younger ones.

Well..I am a 45 years old Thai woman and I think that I am an average looking woman here. Few months ago I was in California with my husband and I receive a lot of good words about my beauty, my dark skin color, hair, smile, and many by strangers in public places. My husband felt happy and proud...until he was asked if I was his daughter. He is 60.

I live in Kansas City for a few years with my first husband.....now my first ex.

I hated the cold weather, but I loved the men attention.....If your GF is really "hot"..she may love the attention too.....and to get her green card and learn some English. I am having now the best of both worlds....and a good business. Was a good "sacrifice"..

.

The official language of the Asean Economic Zone is English! end of story

The reality is....If Thailand opens its job market to other Asean countries professionals, graduated Thais will have to compete with Cambodians to get a job sorting fish at the ports....Period.

If there are concerns about flooding in North Thailand.....there is panic in Bangkok.....where all that water is going........