thefamilyjules

OP: "like many others I too would like to spank her in a frilly lace outfit (her, not me)"

I'd like to see her railing on you while you're wearing your favorite lacy outfit.

ImageUploadedByThaivisa Connect1453487877.709868.jpg

Was he arrested for being ugly???

That's perfect. And maybe the Japanese-looking dude should be arrested for being, like, strung-out-handsome.

My 2 cents: In the LOS, there is clear favoritism of paler, Chinese-looking Thais over "not beautiful" and therefore stupid or criminal Burmese, Cambodian, Malay, or name-your-indigenous-ethnic-group persons. I cannot count the number of times Thai people came up to me and commented, Why are you so white? (Tham-mai phiu man khaaw jang baeb nii?) in an envious tone, sometimes petting the skin on my arm. One time I attempted a 'Well, my ancesters came from western Europe', which was lost on the person. I also had an African American friend who was devastated when Thai people repeatedly told him that his skin was 'not beautiful' or 'ugly'.

To become tanned in the sun means, for a Thai, that you are a lowly peasant field worker. You can't miss the whitening products everywhere. Once, I walked into a pharmacy, where a ridiculously face-painted model attempted to sell me skin whitening facial lotion. That s**t causes cancer and do I look like I need such a product?!

Call it ethnocentrism, racism, or nationalism. Prejudice against non-Chinese Thais is prevalent.

If you understand Thai language reasonably well, you'll hear the prejudiced commentary. There is no mistake about it.

You should also know that you are more than likely to have at least one paedophile within spitting distance of you at any given time! So remember to spit.

Hmmm, within hitting distance has a nicer ring to it.

That even if your married, own a company, working and have kids you will NEVER be accepted as you are back home, no matter how long you stay

and at any time you can be kicked out or refused your visa

Sounds about same as a Muslim in the West.

except a muslim in the west will be accepted if they knuckle down and find a job, work hard and try to become a valued member of the communtiy.

that won't happen here

Not in the U.S. these days they won't. Being Muslim here is only slightly better than being black.

I would agree with the lack of acceptance mentioned before that. After 6 years, fluent and literate in Thai, and I was still called Farang like it was my name or regarded as such.

Some absolutely practical advice:

1. Thai king-size beds are the same size as U.S. king size beds, but for reasons totally unknown, good quality sheets sets in Thailand cost 10 times what they do in the western world and it's nearly impossible to find flat top sheets that match the rest of the sheet set. So, bring several sets of good quality sheets with you. (Isn't this stuff made in this part of the world?)

2. Ditto for good quality bath towels.

3. Ditto for good quality athletic shoes.

4. Ditto for good quality underwear, especially women's bras.

5. Ditto for good quality swimwear, especially for a woman who isn't toothpick thin and swims laps for several hours weekly.

Thank you. This is the kind of info I was hoping to find when I opened this thread. Hopefully people will add more.

Buy all of your cotton t shirts from home, they are cheaper and much much better quality.

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk

No 100% cotton. It's too humid. You'll be soaked.

Good quality sneakers can be found, but only in cities and sizable towns, and for the same you'd pay at home.

Don't bother to learn Thai, they pretend they don't understand and are not worth talking to anyway most of the time

The one thing you cannot do without here are good ear plugs, you do not want to be listening to the Thai in laws rabbiting away about som tam or why it's hot/ cold.

Don't eat the food, Thai 'cuisine' really is the most ghastly repetitive stuff, but if you like lots of rice, veg, + fish served with some of the worst smelling stuff (plha ra) maybe OK

Never lend money to a Thai for obvious reasons, other foreigners even more so.

Never ever be tempted to marry a bar girl, most are as thick as a brick and as crafty as a fox.

The only thing Thais excel at are music and dance, that's the amazing part, the rest is not worth a mention.

Noise cancelling headphones - ordinary ear plugs are useless. I have tinnitus from the noise pollution.

The rest is bullocks from a fogey who can't speak Thai. Learning Thai is the best thing you can do. Then the other gripes mentioned above won't be at issue.

Living stateside once again, after 6 years total in Thailand. I do not miss that oppression in the least. I would rather have access to free press coverage, no matter how ridiculous and sensationalized it is. Deciphering fact from opinion is what critical thinking is for.

Nor do I miss ridiculously written quasi-news bits from PBS News like this one. You think they could reiterate the same sentence, not to mention poorly, enough times?

The main problem you face is that Thai university degrees are not held in the highest esteem internationally, for reasons which have been extensively detailed here and elsewhere.

Reasons? That implies fact...opinions only

An interesting mix of words; reasons, facts and opinions.

How about an opinion is viewpoint or judgment that may well be supported by facts? Of course, people may have different views based on the same facts. Reasoning and reasons stem from cognition and intellect allowing the evaluation of facts to form opinions. Which leaves facts; things arising from direct observation or experience that can be verified, perhaps even by reason.

Most of my judgements and views about Thai higher education are based upon direct experience and observation and appear to be in agreement with at least some of what I've read in this thread. Perhaps others have been exposed to similar facts.

http://www.topuniversities.com/university-rankings/world-university-rankings/2015#sorting=rank+region=+country=131+faculty=+stars=false+search=

Chula 253.

Mahidol 295.

Or even worse if you go with The Times rankings:

https://www.timeshighereducation.com/world-university-rankings/2016/world-ranking#!/page/0/length/25

Or Chula 311:

http://cwur.org/2015/thailand.html

So, by any stretch of the imagination the top two or three Thai Universities are "mid-ranking" if judged on a world level.

Not one Thai Nobel Prize winner.

RAZZ

And did you attend any of these supposed top 300 universities in the world? Regardless, you might see the correlation between Thailand's corruption and its weak education system. The latter permits the former to thrive.

Search: Sompop Jantraka. He was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for his life's work on the above-stated problem.

I spent 6 years living in Thailand. The first time was studying a semester at Assumption University (ABAC) in BKK, as part of a study abroad program through my undergrad school in the U.S. That was 1998; at that time, there was a diverse mix of international students--from Europe, Asia, North America. All courses were taught in English, except Thai language, by Western, Thai, and other Asian professors. I wasn't impressed by anything academically--except for a decent Filapina professor--but that's not why I was doing the program. Only the credits transferred to my undergrad transcripts; the grades did not figure into my GPA.

The main complaint was that classrooms were stark quiet (read: utterly boring), because Thai students, the vast majority of my classmates, never (ever) raised their hands to comment or ask a question. This "deference for authority" behavior is conditioned throughout the education system. I saw this again later when I taught EFL and worked at an NGO there. If you're looking for an enlightening, critical thinking, intellectual environment, I don't think you're going to get it in Thailand without paying high tuition for it.

As for your aspiration, I think it's wonderful. Go for it! I'm around your age and I'm back in school in the U.S. The difference in quality of instruction and students is incomparable, really, but that is not to say that Thai universities do not produce quality graduates capable of study or work elsewhere.

For what it's worth, have a look into online programs. There are good ones from accredited brick-and-mortar institutions around the world. Part of the difficulty of studying abroad is the cultural and everyday language adjustment. For sure, as others have said, Thai educational institutions operate outside of Western standards / norms. If you're expectations are realistic, then you might be okay. I, personally, could not tolerate the politics, communication style, and general BS of Thai culture that is prevalent in every Thai-run organization.

Some tea maybe? Walk more then 2 miles, go off the road and get tired and you feel better ...

What I noticed is all those medical checks you do while having a good health, why's that? hypochondria?

Pity you don't drink btw, it's a life saver for some of us ...

All of the above is nonsense, except for maybe the walk more than 2 miles part.

Decaffeinated tea? Regular medical checkups, especially for older persons, are healthy not hypochonriasis. Alcohol is no one's savior.

Some good advice herein so far, apart from this goofy bit. Fish oil is one of few supplements proven to actually do what it claims to do. Omega 3's aid in brain functioning and increase serotonin levels, as does eating fish, of course. Decent imported brands are widely available here.

If I had 500 baht every time a Thai student of mine unabashedly asked me to edit, write, or do their work, either in class or outside of billable class time...

As a US-trained lawyer, and citizen of the US and Thailand, I am pro-Democracy.

This statement has no logical basis and most of what Khun Wanina wrote is moot. Neither country's govermental system or election processes are close to the ideal of democracy; in the US, the electoral college voting system, gerrymandering, biased social aggrandizement, influence of lobbyists and special interest groups are just a few of the reasons. Khun Wanina does not acknowledge that her ancestors and she would have necessarily benefited in some way from the historical roots of corruption and slavery in the US and Thailand in order to reach that level of education and prestige. Also, she begs the question that democracy is the ideal governmental system for Thailand at this stage of its development, or for any nation for that matter. The references to other 'dictators' and the assumption that they were 'democratically elected' further weakens her argument.

Apologies if I repeated anything posted previously, I didn't take time to go through all of the past week's thread replies. No offense to the author or other Thais, but I'm loathe to write a Thai name with a 'v' when it's necessarily a 'w' sound.

Dont know why pentagon not preparing to evacute citizens from iraq & afgan, were there is a real need..no offence us

Will be sure to pass on your comment to the my fellow American citizens, nearly all of whom will never read and couldn't care less about your miniscule blip on the internet. If you want to make a statement with any true political impact, try writing a letter to your highest ranking government officials and asking them to please mention your suggestion the next time they meet with US Cabinet members. Or perhaps you don't have this sort of democratic power in your country.

It brings a new meaning to the saying "when hell freezes over, had lots of Thai friends with cold and flu. they seem not to know how to take care of it by taking medicines..

"When hell freezes over" means: never ever; not a chance whatsoever. This cliche and your example isn't relevant to the posted question, ill-placed as it was.

Then there is the other side of the coin. A Thai wife married to a Thai man will cheat with a farang. I'm no "hunk" by any means, but have been hit on by attractive Thai women about 40 yo or so who are married. Never took them up on it. I like breathing in and out.

Happens with me too..and always will happen specially with farangs..in any country, but here, to date a married woman is a suicide adventure, for both lovers. In western culture, infidelity is a path to divorce, here is a part of marriage. Anyway.....I posted this question because I saw many Thai men talking freely about affairs, even charming other women, in front of their wives....and doing things that I cannot comment here..I was invited many times by professional Thai married men to go out with them to karaoke bars full of prostitutes.....and with wives knowledge. I come back home alone..them...the next day.

Thailand is the #1 country in the world when HIV is contracted by wives and children because spouse behavior.

I think that is a down side of their culture.

I think that is a downside of their culture. You think?

I doubt that those stats are realistically knowable anyway. In any case, the high incidence of HIV/AIDS in this country is a good reason not to 'nork jai' your wife here and not to sleep with any prostitute or anyone else's wife for that matter.

The funny thing is, the savage peopl of Thailand respect Buddhism, so as long as time have infinite patience and are Never greedy or impose yourself other fight, you win. They have a metaphorical bomb waiting for anyone who dares act in an unbuddhist way, and that includes pointing the finger, full of anger. It takes insane delete discipline to keep good western values without HTML being linked to becoming angry and racist, but it's possible. Thailand is full of totally evil people, but the difference is in how they are dealt with by the good people. You need tolerance and a tight friend and family unit, you rely on others to make you happy here you get shat on. It's an oyster for those with balls and cultural understanding, and a rat trap or fish hook for those wishing to be evil. I think that extends to Thais. Thailand is not yet civilized, and they are a very interesting country with impossible contrasts and huge variety of situations. It's what you make it, and treat it like a western country and it will show that it is worth what you pay and the tiny amount of actual respect Thais get for attempting to abuse power, Here and overseas. They continue to break the laws of Buddhism and in a strange twist, respect the outcome of their failure. It makes me sad that I often profit off this failure.

Please don't drink and post.

Further investigations found that out of those who regularly re-entered Thailand, large numbers came from neighboring countries such as Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia and Myanmar, with many going to work illegally in factories, restaurants or on construction sites and fishing boats.

This smells of a crackdown on human trafficking and indentured servitude, not on the ordinary malingerers who scramble across borders in order to stay here doing nothing but taking up space and resources. Either way,

I also agree with those who've said that it could be a new chief displaying that he's alpha.

She actually does love me and never asked or talked about money from the first night. That should have been my first warning. Easier to pay and then you can end things anytime. I can't move as I have a house that is needed for other reasons. Maybe I'll just let things drift along and eventually she will meet someone.

No, she never returned to the bar after we met. And she only worked part time to save money as she hated her work. Not the nice guys but the drunk as*sholes that thought they could grab and touch her just because she worked in a bar.

She does LOVE you........................hahahahahaha! No wonder u having a hard time. U just too darn stupit!

sorry pal! it true! you have iq of a donkeys ass.

She gave up 5k a night for an unKNOWN- i smell dumb man or guy not telling the whole truth here.

a girl making good money would not be offended by groping in the bar- not hard to advoid those unwanted advances. its part of being a hooker.

A donkey is an a**. And then you also use 'stupid' and 'dumb'. No need to be redundant.

The emphasis would be on DOES and UN. No need to use all caps anyway when you can instead use meaningful words.

There's no way to know what would offend someone in that position at any given time, even if you were a prostitute yourself. No need to be an a**.

As i said, depending on the variety of the girl, she might say: And just why the hell are you taking me to this cheap low rent, low deposit, temporary dump?

Well yes I did make clear I prefer fresh-off-the-farm rice farmer's daughters. YMMV, maybe you'd need to spend more money on the secondary flat.

Impoverished rural regions are hotbeds for the easy sale of girls, boys, women, and men. Obtaining these people (buying them) directly from their families simply cuts out the trafficker middle man/woman. It makes their jobs easier and serves to perpetuate the global commercial sex industry.

You earlier claimed that victims of trafficking were rarely found in the places that westerners frequent. You could know this only if you'd been to every brothel, massage parlor, barber shop, karaoke bar, and any other brothel front in every town and city in this country and did firsthand research. Aside from that, 'fresh-off-the-farm' rice farmers' daughters,' for whom you so complacently stated your preference, are commonly and easily duped by their own family members, sold off for the family's profit, and are otherwise vulnerable and gullible to the hope of a better job and living standard. It doesn't take a fresh carrot to intice a dumbed down horse, as it were.

This thread and others like it are interesting fodder and allow me another way to interact with the twisted reality of those who have the luxury to indulge themselves in the sport.

You probably know that she's likely to have been trafficked into the commerical sex industry from a young age and to have been mistreated before that, which, among other factors like poverty and low education level, might have led her to resort to prostitution. However the case may be, it seems that she is psychically damaged, at the very least she's probably had few or maybe no relationships apart from the johns before meeting you and now she's immaturely attached to you.

Wow...u r so amazing. U can deduce all this from never having met her before?

Yes projecting a whole fantasy spun from his cultural brainwashing, probably Kristof-style media pieces.

But the immature part is likely true if she isn't just a good actor working the long con.

In the very early stages of their career, a farang customer/boyfriend is very often the first glimpse these girls get of a kind-hearted romantic relationship, they've often led such a sheltered life growing up, and then raped/abused by a neighbor/relative and tossed out to work the bars, if you happen to catch them early enough and take them home and treat them nicely like someone else posted they can "imprint" on you like a duckling and become irrationally attached and dependent.

Coupled with "white knight syndrome" a potent recipe for relationship disaster.

But works out well once in a while I'm sure as long as both parties are willing to play along.

I've been culturally deconditioned to a fair extent after a half year in China and nearly 5 years in the Land of Smut. Though my analysis was rather pedantic, much of it comes from the what I've witnessed of the sex industry in Asia, my work as a teacher of former prostitutes who were trafficked as children, and my research and work in prevention of human trafficking of children in this country. I wish I were completely and totally off base, that there were no need for this discussion in the first place.

Haven't read the specifics, but to answer the title question:

Depends on your relative power.

If she's a low-class farmgirl far from home, and you're a high-status expat with connections through your work, and your home has security loyal to you, you can physically toss her stuff out in the street and tell the guards to call the cops if she makes any trouble.

Only downside with this is if she's a true psycho-b%#ch bunny-burner you may suffer violence as a result. However often this is threatened however, it only actually happens in a small minority of cases.

If your status here in the LoS is a precarious one because of legal issues or your poverty or you're a known monger perhaps perceived by the Thais around your home as predatory taking advantage of the poor young girls of the community,

and/or

she's a socially respected girl with strong connections to the local powers that be

then she can call down her backup resources to make trouble for you.

My strategy if I'm in fear is either to move out myself when she isn't around to cause a scene, relocate to a completely new area, or pretend that everything's fine but suddenly develop money problems and/or start being less friendly, giving her less and less of what she wants from me.

It shouldn't be too hard to bring her round to the conclusion that the pastures are greener and move on of her own volition.

Do NOT think that your fooling around with other girls will bring this decision about in a way you want, it will just escalate things, cause problems where there aren't any now, unforeseen and unintended consequences.

wym, every other post of yours I've read so far has been articulate and on point. For this one, though, you needed to have read the specifics. Interesting as general advice, but I'd rather read your thoughts on the situation as written in the original post.

OP, wow, this is some real stuff you're wading in. You probably know that she's likely to have been trafficked into the commerical sex industry from a young age and to have been mistreated before that, which, among other factors like poverty and low education level, might have led her to resort to prostitution. However the case may be, it seems that she is psychically damaged, at the very least she's probably had few or maybe no relationships apart from the johns before meeting you and now she's immaturely attached to you.

Did you mean that she still lives with you, as in "We have lived together for 3 months or so" ? Not nitpicking the semantics, just want to understand.

If you're giving her mixed signals, or any attention or hope, then you have to be firm and give her absolutely zero positive feedback.

Without reading further,

and without getting into silly "culture" stuff (gosh how do I love this incompetent excuses)

the answer is very simple

She is not interested in what you say, hence, neither in you! Full Stop.

I strongly suggest you look for someone how is. This relationship is a cul-de-sac, meaning, a one way. One need to give, the other is the receiver. Guess, again, who'll need to give!

Good luck

i have been with her for many years and she is very interested in me as we do really love each other it is not the a.t.m or my wallet it is me and we are very happy together

Wait ... you are happy - and then you waste this forum with such a crap question?

boy is there some sich folk around!

hahahahahah you are real piece of work no one asked you to go to reply to this topic you maggot

The OP is not sick because of what he's written. As for 'maggot' and other gratuitous drive-bys, how about staying on topic and refraining from projections onto others?

Your asking us farang about thai parents. Sorry, I never had thai parents however I do know this, I was not allowed to bang my wife until we were married, not with her parents knowledge anyway so it was sneaking around for us as we were getting married anyway Not all parents allow the daughters to bed farang, I guess it would depend on the parents and their lack of morals that probably rub off on the children, don't you know any girls whose parents don't allow it,lol. Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I like the adjective "Bang". alt=blink.png pagespeed_url_hash=3007605675 width=20 height=20>

I don't know, between bang, bonk, and bed, it's a toss up for me. And I believe they are verbs. Action verbs if I'm not mistaken.

I know what you mean. Why I remember reading a thread about a guy who accused all Thais of having no shame or morals because they overcharged him 5 baht on a cup of coffee. Imagine confusing a 5 baht overcharge with shame and morals and worse applying his judgement to all Thai people because of his experience.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know what makes Farang so bitter. Especially over 5 baht.

It's not the amount, it's the principle.

When living in Thailand, not just passing through, it's gets tiresome constantly being overcharged for being a farang.

It's not the amount it's the principle eh? What an incredible line of malarkey. When you rob a bank the difference between a felony and a misdemeanor is the amount.

When you go to war it is the amount of men killed that determines the winner of the battle not the principle of the thing.

When you fall in love with a girl it is the amount of men before you which makes her a good catch or a last resort. It is not the fact you were not the first one. It is the fact that you were not 10,001 that makes a difference.

When you get a speeding ticket it is the amount over the limit not the principle that you were speeding. 5 over and you get a warning 55 over and you go to jail.

When you get stopped with booze on your breath it is not the fact that you drank and drove but how much you drank. 1 drink is OK 20 and you are going to jail.

When I went to confession the priest asked me what were my sins. I said, I had sex. He said how many times? I said 4 times a day for the ten years I lived in Pattaya. That was ten years ago and I'm still saying Hail Mary's every day. alt=biggrin.png pagespeed_url_hash=14303579 width=20 height=20>

The subtle reference to the OP himself in the initial quote above: priceless. The retort to thaibeachlovers: a thousand baht per word.