Izbbroke

She's agreed to no sinsod after a week of fighting about it. Her mom thinks having a full wedding is just a waste of money, better saved for other things. I wonder if she thinks this due to no sinsod being shown.

Still plan on marrying just will not have the huge wedding. Prepping to bring her and her daughter here is just financially tough. Will be easier now that the monthly help is half what it was.

Fwiw I have been reading. I just don't have the time to troll a thread and post as much as all of you.

Pretty much fighting the last week with her because i have taken a stand. Her mother is not the one to blame, as I'm told anyways. She wants the Sinsod for her mother. I can only gather it's for her self esteem.

She's been told a marriage based on money isn't about love, and I won't marry this way. I could probably get the cash for all this but not easily. Not doing it.

Your replies have made me think. By the way the garbage replies I was referring to, were those that just said simply "fool" "sucker"....ect.

Just thought I'd chime in.

First. Thanks for all the replies although some were posted by people with internet strength. I'm an ex gamer, so more than familiar with the attitude. It's the internet.

I'm not a troll I work to much, travel too much to have time to troll some post I made to mess with people as you can see from my lack of posts. Everyone can have their opinion and that fine.

1) She's been cut to $700 as far as my helping her.

2) Sinsod was cut in half, all will be shown but only 25% will go to mom. Moms other half will be paid later. 50% of the Sinsod will be put in a savings account for the daughter.

3) We are both buying Thailand Fever to help us understand each other better.

4) The wedding will continue, but the number of guests will be shrunk considerably. Less than 15 will attend. Will now be at grandmothers house and not a resort as planned.

Not all was lost reading through some of the garbage posted. Lol. She's not totally ok with my decisions, but her mother agreed too.

Thanks,

Not a troll

Brev.... That's the advice I was looking for.

I don't know all. You sure the hell don't either. Thanks for the non helpful replies.

Must love all the internet replies. Morden might be the only one that rationally replied.

I do know that Thai family ties are strong, and some old school mothers might insist on Sinsod.

I have taken good care of this woman and her family. I came here looking for some sane advice on how to handle this situation. Not to be told you are a sucker you are being scammed.

All insight is welcome but don't let everything you have read in the past to cause your replies to mean one way.

I'm not a troll. I came here asking a simple question. Maybe I'm a sucker, maybe I'm not and just looking for some outside views. Don't be so harsh people.....lol

Morden

Thank you for the most educational reply.

I'm not against paying honestly. But between my bills and hers there is no way I can save for all that is being asked for. Someone needs to give.

Cancelled wedding....or a show as you say and mom gets Sinsod over a few months. Or I walk my ass on. Leaving a lovely woman and child.

If Sinsod means more than supporting a family WELL for a year then .

Uptheos

I'm not a troll.

Correct taninthai.

Mobile on this site sucks.

Ting yes I agree. Yes I do send that much. Yes it is mom that is greedy or her wanting to make sure she saves face for mom.

The whole save face thing is crazy.

That was one one of the last things I said. Go apply for a marriage visa and we will marry here.

Just stupid that Sinsod is becoming an issue.

I understand the purpose of it, but I'm not taking help or an income away.

I am the income.

I know it's a lot. She has a car and a failed business to pay for.

I'm just not sure how to deal with this other than what I've done. Say I'm not sending anymore til after married.

That's the stance I took. I mean I love her but damn. Told her if if mom has to have it I'm not sending anything til we marry

Yes she has a girl whom I also love. Prior marriage. But I know my fiancé will listen to mom. Thai way.......

To add I already booked flights there and back to be there for our wedding.

I met this woman 14 months ago. She's now 30 and I'm 45. When we first met I was reluctant about online dating to a point but open in the sense that you never know.

We talked for about 4 months and decided to meet. I flew to CM to meet her and spent two weeks there. Met her mother, her daughter, and a portion of her family. We fell in love during this trip.

I then flew there later again last year and we became engaged.

She is a wonderful woman and a good mother. She has a 5 year old daughter. Father isn't around. She had a quick marriage before daughter was born for birth certificate reasons. Then divorced later.

Sinsod is now becoming the major issue we deal with. We are engaged and love each other very much. I love her daughter as if she was mine. I've been supporting all of them including her mother for over a year. 1500+ usd each month. Sending extra at time to help keep her daughter in a nice school etc. the 1500 has been sure and she can count on it.

Now that we want to marry her mom insists I pay Sinsod. I mKe make good money and overall I can deal with paying it. This issue I can not do it all at one time. It's haRd to save for a big Thai wedding and Sinsod. She believes mom will deny wedding if Sinsod not paid in full full at wedding. I suggested maybe over 3 months.

Fact is I cannot keep us together sending her 1500usd on top of my bills and save money for a wedding. I love her and she loves me but seems Sinsod is going to end us.

Any insight from anyone?