hgv driver

Eva Air for me every time i fly to Thailand

A JOB WELL DONE NO SYMPATHY

DRIVING IN THAILAND………. It is hoped that this definitive list will be soon be adopted as the official driving code of Thailand, in the absence of any other such known publication, so that all drivers on the road will act in strict accordance with it. 1. The Mercedes Benz always has right of way.

2. The more wheels you have, the more right of way you have. (Except when Rule #1 applies.)

3. Anything with two wheels or less does not count as a vehicle and should be disregarded completely. Even if it’s a 1800 cc Harley Davidson the size of the average Thai house.

4. If you need to turn off, then turn off. If that means a right-angled swerve across three lanes on two wheels so you don’t miss your turn, please go ahead. We’ll just fit in with your plan. No need to indicate your intention.

5. If in the process of executing that turn, you cause three motorcyclists and a tuk tuk to end up in the ditch, add 5 points.

6. Indicators should only be used in the following fashion. If someone is behind you and wanting to overtake, put on your right indicator. This means either a/ it is clear and safe to overtake now or b/ don’t overtake now a bus is coming over the blind rise at a speed approaching 130km/h. It will soon become apparent which meaning was intended.

7. Do have as many Buddhist amulets on the dashboard as possible. If you’re involved in a fatal accident, never mind — there’s always another life, and another …

8. Traffic jams can be frustrating, so, as soon as you get any open space at all, get your vehicle to its highest possible top speed. As a guideline the rpm counter should be kept in the red zone in event of any open road.

9. When joining a busy main road from a small side soi, proceed directly into the intersection without stopping – or even pausing – for other traffic. This selfishly indulgent act of stopping and checking will only cause confusion for those behind you, with the possible result of them rear-ending you.

10. When on a motorcycle, do not wear a helmet, and ride as fast as the bike will possibly go while using cars, buses, elephants, and chickens as slalom course markers. Irrespective of traffic conditions, possible dangers lurking around the corner, and pedestrians foolishly crossing the road at a marked pedestrian crossing, maintain this speed (once again, the red zone on your rpm gauge is a reliable indicator). After all, in the event of some other idiot doing the wrong thing, you want to be killed outright, not maimed.

11. On the subject of pedestrian crossings, these are known to farangs as ‘zebra crossings’. There are no zebras in Thailand. Ignore. Proceed as usual.

12. Do not wear a seat-belt. This will delay you when you stop at 7-11 to buy more beer for the drive, resulting in late arrival for the party. This is not acceptable to your thirsty friends.

13. In the event you become completely, utterly, motherlessly drunk when drinking with your friends do not — repeat: DO NOT! — leave your vehicle there and attempt to walk home. In your drunken state you might be tempted to actually use a pedestrian crossing on foot, without observing the golden rule of crossing any road in Thailand: look Right, look Left, look Up then look Down before you cross. The buggers will get you from anywhere!

14. Red lights. This is merely an optical illusion – all traffic lights in Thailand consist of three different shades of green. What you think is red is actually just dark green. Proceed as usual.

A note to remember do not walk on the path unless you are desperate if you should decide to do so then be prepared for a speeding moped heading towards you carrying his wife, girlfriend and two kids and probably a dog and shopping hanging from the bars at such a speed he will not be able to avoid you at this point jump into the road the survival rates are about equal. Ron.

personally i will be pleased to see it zero

How about Kanchanaburi ever thought of there.

This is good news to me

..........one would think that the reduction of the electric bill would be welcome.....

(...mind you....concrete box structures are not so comfortable when the temperature goes below 20 degrees....)

....no insulation to speak of, generally.....

...when we lived in Chiang Rai 10 years ago....we were lucky to find a portable heater for sale at one of the 'Home' stores....a German brand....

...we sealed our windows somewhat and used it in the bedroom....it made a nice difference.....

Yes I also have a heater in the bedroom a two legged one. Runs on hugs and kisses

so do i have many hugs and kisses

the cheats never ending

hope the wife is ok or improving

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This should of happened a long time ago. All these farangs taking money off hard working Thais!

Thailand has long been the country of innovation and self sustainability! Western nations should be grateful to be allowed to business at all in the Kingdom, they try to learn the Thai's business practices, customer service, law enforcement, in which all fields Thais lead the world.

555

by farang i assume you mean Indian Chinese Russian

I am 74 yrs old my girl friend is 32 yrs old love it 

so sorry your not liked

lets face it your not liked any where in the world

Well done Nok Air

good luck the junta well done

Well done Thailand

100%

unfortunately you have been coned by her family look for another.

I've been to Tenerife,2 weeks was enough,can't think of of any reason to return.

I am an English guy,I've lived in Shanghai for 10 years,every year I think,should I move on,but am blissfully happy here,that's my half pence worth.

I lived and worked in Tenerife for 10 yrs the north that is the best years of my life.

The guys not only an idiot, he's not funny nor entertaining.

His show sucks. Hope they cancel his show, forever.

HERE HERE

Desperate old man looking for a bit more publicity...

I could not agree more

Last November in Hull i applied for a non O visa. supplied all documents but they refused as my bank statements did not have my home address on. As its an internet only bank I was not able to go in the high street branch and get the correct statements. When I asked for my passport back she then asked if I no longer wanted a visa.

Hull forward all completed applications to London for issue of visa's so no same day service any more.

That is correct

Happy Songkran ever one

• A Very sad ending .... RIP

sugarcane