davo2212

Each to their own

Just wait until they try to kill you,then you will realise,i should have built it a long way away.

Why would they want to kill me?

8

Why only in western?

In many Asia its same. In mane east even wife family last after husband family and husband friend

So

Fir who need this is wife?

I'm sure that you are correct but this discussion is about Thailand and this is how it here for most people that I know.

If you don't like the "Rules", of course you don't have to play the game here 555

Maybe you could read Thailand Fever, an excellent book that will teach you about Thai (and possibly Western) culture.

This could help you to know the "Rules" and decide where you want to be.

Best of luck.

1. Rules made people.

2. Some folow rules evry where(its mean not have him self any rules )

Some choes/make/get obly one rules and follow anywhere.

Ps

I guess discussion about a foreigner who is married wuth Thai lady ask about build or not house near wife family.

So it not only about Thailand. About foreigner and family thinks too.

OP:- (Original Post) <Snip>My thai fiancee of 5 years and I are thinking of building our retirement home on her land an hour from ubon.

The only thing stopping me from doing it now is its next door to her parents and a kilometre from her brother and sisters houses.<Snip>

ubon is in the east of Thailand (not Udon but Ubon) Thailand.

The girlfriend is Thai.

Family nearby.

Thai culture, other cultures not important.

I guess that English is not your first language.

One person gave advantages of living close to her family.

Many others (including me) suggest that he builds with a reasonable distance between their house and her family.

Up to him what he chooses to do.

Up to you to choose what you do.

I already choose and have a reasonable distance between our house and her family, about 10-100Km, it's a big family.

This works well for me,

it also works well for my wife and her family.

The Thai culture is honoured and my Western culture is also honered.

By the way, we only stay in Thailand for 4-5 months per year.

We are now in Spain for 6-7 months.

Now the distance is 11,000 Km

555

spain. Is English your first language?

Hmmm

This does not work out well the overwhelming majority of the time.

Thais do not have the same sense of privacy that Westerners do....both in terms of walking into the house whenever they please, helping themselves to anything of yours etc but also in terms of prying/interfering in personal matters.

And they will put considerable pressure on your wife to do things "their" way; this may also include pressure to give them financial assistance.

Should you have children, this will be a particular problem and you may find yourself voiceless in how they are raised.

Both you and your wife will be happier if you build further away, and relations with the inlaws will likely be much more harmonious that way.

I tend to agree with all of this. We presently have a home a few hundred meters from her parents. But, they are not allowed to stay in the house. My brother in law can stay there, when he visits from far away. Otherwise, they help to maintain the house, they do the landscape maintenance, keep an eye on the house, deal with repairs, etc. It works out well. But, her family are exceptionally good people, and do not have alot of the ugly qualities I see mentioned here often. And we do not live there. It is only someplace we visit occasionally, and someplace my wife chooses to stay for a week or two, while i am overseas doing some work.

If and when we ever decide to move up there, we will build a home on some rural property she owns, two kilometers from town, where we will have some privacy, and quiet, but be close to her family. It really depends on her family. Are they really good people, who have some respect for your privacy, and your boundaries? Do they have alot of respect for you as a man? Do they listen to you? Does your wife listen to you, when it comes to family boundaries?

All of that has to come into play. Otherwise, keep some distance.

ok cheers

Hey Davo, aren't you glad you asked?

Apparently...

Your house will get trashed.

It is too hot.

It is too cold.

You won't be able to buy pickles or mushy peas.

Your front door will get burnt down.

The inlaws will eat all your food.

There is no water.

You will get diseases.

You will need to learn Isaan.

There will be 4 barking dogs.

Your tv will be on full volume all night.

They will bleed you dry.

You will have to build another better house for the inlaws.

Motorbikes will keep you awake all night.

The smell of cooking will drive you mad.

yes your right but somehow it still sounds better than going to work tomorrow.

Ok thanks. I seem to remember being offered a condo with a 30 year lease and option to renew twice equalling 90 years

Yes, these would be criminals looking to scam you.

ok cheers

I put 500km between us and the in-laws, still not far enough.

any particular reason?

Ok cheers

Ok thanks. I seem to remember being offered a condo with a 30 year lease and option to renew twice equalling 90 years

If I decide not to build on my fiancees land. What is the deal with the 90 year lease of land to build on and what's a rough idea of price please

The only part of Thailand I haven't been to is hua hin.

I want peace and quiet.

Not a fan of pattaya.

I want peace and quiet.

Head to Soi Dao in Chan, you wont be plauged by charcoal burning villages etc etc, you wont be pestered by 3 day monk parties and deaths.

The 3322 has some nice land for sale on the way to Kao Su Khim, 300k per rai.

Near hat yai?

The only part of Thailand I haven't been to is hua hin.

I want peace and quiet.

Not a fan of pattaya.

Laolover why not?

Tonray I've visited a cpl of times the whole family apart from my fiancee speak zero english. They are hard workers and reasonably fit.

I don't support anyone

Dont drink as far as I'm aware.

20 minutes from town.

They are rice farmers

Charlie why is that?

Well there is 2 completely opposite answers.

My thai fiancee of 5 years and I are thinking of building our retirement home on her land an hour from ubon.

The only thing stopping me from doing it now is its next door to her parents and a kilometre from her brother and sisters houses.

She is awesome and simply says follow your heart and do what you want to do.

Any advice

Thanks all

Dave

Won't be 100% until I check out a few ideas, its gonna be a simple little 2 bedroom maybe around 60k au

Fair enough, hope I'm one of the lucky ones

I'm hearing ya, we are to be married at the end of the year.

Not interested in resale I want to live out my days quietly and not b bothered about anything

Nothing fancy for me I just need aircon a comfy recliner/lounge and access to rugby league on tv and I'm a happy man and probably a vegie garden and bbq oh and plenty of sang som and cold beer

But it is hard to supervise effectively if your not really sure how to build a house.

The only thing I can do competently is concreting

Had a quick look will do thanks

Its my girls land I know I can't own it.

I would like to not have to put my hand in my pocket each month for rent. If I own it will be cheaper in the long run

Thats why I'm asking, here in Australia there is so much red tape for everything its great to hear I can build a house without permits and surveyers and engineers and the oh&s mob showing up to check everything and also work cover