palaver

By the way the age label is stupid. I have a coworker who is 72 years old and has a fresh mind and still runs three times a week. He is sharp as a bell and a lot of fun. Unlike some people much younger who are sticks in the mud and will never learn.

This after all of the "advice" I sought on sites and got the typical jaded responses that sent things off the rails.

There is a difference between a loser having a long distance relationship with a tattooed working prostitute his own age,

And an old guy buying a much younger wife (from any occupation), and then living with her.

When you are young, you have a choice.

When you are old, you take what's available.

OP is a good looking young guy, you are, well you know what you are.

You have an excuse, OP doesn't.

Wow what a comment.

My wife is close to my age and has some grey hair. I could have gone with a much younger woman but went with a woman I love and is most wonderful. Didn't buy anything. Well maybe the wedding rings that came under $900, unlike American coworker who wanted a $10,000 ring from her fiancé.

Nice to know that being 48 is old and you take what you can get. LOL. Old is in the mind and heart. So is young. Your choice.

Thanks for jumping to conclusions. Some of us need a good laugh.

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She says she doesn't bar fine now as she loves me too much to do that, but does shows and dancing.

The OP in my opinion is just a 24 year old kid and all this is a great adventure for him.

If the so-called love of his life is still in with the bar scene, than she is going with tricks, Johns, customers, however you like to describe them, no questions about it, 100%.

What should be the main concerns of the OP that if he has been having unprotected sex with a prostitute is the fact that he may have been exposed to HIV or aids and should have himself tested a.s.a.p. Because the odds are that this woman will never be loyal to 1 guy but probably has several on the go, paying or not, including as most have, a hanger on Thai boyfriend.

Many if not seeking an immediate earner will be looking for ways to obtain a residence and visas in the hope of living abroad and view the gullible farang as a means of leaving Thailand.

Whether the OP wants to face the facts and believe or not is up to him, and how far he decides to take this adventure is at his own risk and discretion.

Just a typical poster branding every bar girl as the same. Surely some of them can be good they can't all be the same? By the way she is not the love of my life. Seen her for 5 months hardly love of my life. Love of my life was my previous girlfriend.

Ok, stopping here. Seems you have some growing up to do in relationships and yourself.

Just an observation based off my years on the "road".

Take your time. Plenty of fish in the sea.

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She speaks very low of her mum who I think lives back in Isaan.

DANGER!

Interesting. not sure of how much weight to put into that comment. I could speak lowly of my parents, but I don't. I know others who speak lowly of their parents and I understand. This is a difficult measure.

However, I will say that a contributing factor to choosing my wife was that she loves her parents and family and they are one hardworking, happy lot of people. Wish I had the same growing up.

Okay, she speaks lowly of mom. That's only one data point of 10,000.

Again, don't study the data points as you may weigh one data point too heavily while not knowing the other 9,000 or so that are good.

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''She says it's fine, i can take care myself '' And just how is she going to do that....and send money home to family as well ? I think you know the answer so if you want a long term relationship with a Hooker that may end either way then it's your life and go ahead. Just don't be under any illusions and don't listen to fairy stories.

Yeah I thought that but if you go on the 12,500 flat rate for dancing and 6,000 for shows minus the 4,800 she has to pay per month for not bar fining that's still 13,700 baht which is the amount she says she sends home to family. So I think she could quite easily live off tips and the 50 baht per drink she gets. Even if she only managed 10 drinks per night (I'm sure she does more) that's still 500 baht per night 25 nights per month you have 12,500 baht plus extra tips etc takes her over 20k for herself and her rent for her room is 4,000 she says. Apparently when she is sitting with a customer and they want to bar fine her she says she doesn't bar fine but recommends them someone and they're usually happy with it. I often know where she is as it says her location when she talks on facebook and she sends pictures of what shes doing at the time and always goes home same time every night but yeah it could all be <deleted> and I could be getting taken for a ride but end of the day I think to myself what have I got to lose? I'm not a 50 year old with a wedge of cash a stake and she even says look if I didn't love you and cared about money don't you think I would've gone off with someone who has a lot of money? Anyway time will tell I guess.

Hopefully my last post on this: At some point stop reasoning with people here and yourself. At some point, you need to follow your heart. Really. If you trust your heart, and feel true feelings toward this person and she back, then you should go forth and continue.

It's a tricky road. You do have to listen to mind and reason, but mind and reasoning on (partial -always) facts can mislead you.

It's tough. But, I go back to what I say. She sounds young. You should ask her to quit bar and find another profession, even if she has to scrape by somehow. Let her live as if bars did not exist because she does not have to live that life. Then see where things go over next couple of years.

Curious to see how this pans out, but hope be bar job ends (just my opinion - what do I know).

Yeah, so she should get out of bars asap to get to know you better. Also, let her do a little struggle. If she scrapes by in a small shop back home, let it be. She can always go back to bar and find someone else or whatever. But out of the bar, no matter what, is important (in my humble opinion).

Okay, you are attracted to her and likewise. She just wants a better life and you could provide that for her and she will treat you like a king.

Some of us have a "better" (financial) life, but we don't have the emotional support or love.

I will tell you I was "misled" on this site to meet my wife. Luckily, I took on trip back with an open mind (after breakup) and everything fell into place. She's a wonderful wife and my life had completely changed. Why? She's got that "Thai" thing I could not find in an American woman.

She makes my life complete. I wanted to be free and travel the world. Now I don't care. The world is here with her. I don't care so much to go to other places. And she is very happy as well.

This after all of the "advice" I sought on sites and got the typical jaded responses that sent things off the rails.

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You may not be rich, but you may wish to get over to see her as much as you can in the beginning. Early investment in relationships would be important.

Good luck

How long has she been in bar?

I'm not expert, but sure, after some time, the girls get corrupt. Less than a year? I don't know.

Okay, so I went to a "Thai girl-American man" (best/worst way to describe it) party here in America, girls have American husbands. My wife (career government worker in Thailand) knew one of them. Many/several of them had been bar girls and boy did it show. First the tattoos. Then their manners. Then their apparent class level. Not reserved. Talking sex and crap like that. All I wanted to do was leave after awhile and we did leave.

Your story generated a lot of responses. I'm sure I already know what some of them are from the jaded crowd. And from the reasonable people.

My view? Seems she needs to get out of bar if you are to be with her. But she should get a job doing anything but you supporting her. Well, maybe she can get some kind of job back home and you could send her a little.

Anyway, take your time. But a bar seems to turn an apple bad and you can't reverse an apple that has gone bad. From what I saw at the party, some of these girls had been in the states for a few years and still had not changed too much. Rotten apples.

She sounds like she may very well be a sweet girl and a good catch.

However, you are still young. Not that that is bad. Are you ready to settle down? Who knows.

I was double your age (twice divorced) when I met my current wife (divorced). I feel I had finally figured myself out. And I met a wonderful woman.

000

A word of warning: read everything you can online about Thailand. Keep your ground. Take what you read on Thaivisa often with a grain of salt.

People are the SAME everywhere. Don't need to think "Thai people this" or "Thai people that". There really is no difference. HOWEVER, it's important you understand yourself and everything you can read about Thai culture.

When you get deeply involved, first, don't cater to everything you read about Thai culture. On the other hand, don't treat her like a Western woman.

Sounds like the give an play are good. Seems like she is being reasonable.

Well, of course, she could be looking for a better life.

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Now back to the so-called bar girls here in America - they seem to stick with their husbands. That's what I know so far.

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You have asked a tough question about your situation. Could go either way. You could walk away and wait until you are older and have gotten around a bit in life. Or, you could just decide to pick the girl and marry her and be happy forever, hopefully.

Depends if you still need to get your "ya-ya's" out and experience life.

Life is long. Enjoy and have experiences and as many as you need to have. Things will sort out.

I agree. The best out there for wife and I.

It will all work out. Some of us have been online for 30 years and we are not exactly suffering.

It's good people are talking and communicating more and reading. It's amazing.

Sounds good. You better her for a good future. Just ensure rules are set about money and all should be fine.

Same for k-1. California service center is fast at processing.

4 months for k-1. We had read that marriage visa took a year or so.

If marriage visa now will take forever.

K1 fast. Just did it and she was here very quickly.

K1.

I ask myself why I get involved in the forum to the extent that I do.

Where is the profit?

What is the satisfaction?

It must be rationally because I am bored and with nothing better to do!

Am I am waiting to die

Yes it is a ridiculous statement to make but never the less a statement based on honesty if not intelligence!

You see ( we the participants and protagonist) are only looking for a cause or something that make us sit up and take notice.

When I think of the replies that I have made to some of the morons on here I cringe that I answered a post that I shouldn't have even thought about and therein lies the problem!

Why are we here, sitting in front of a PC screen getting involved in matters that dont really affect us, I say don't really affect us because if we have any brains at all we have manoeuvred ourselves away from the many problems that we see her in so much aplenty

Yes I know that the forum is a place that answers so many of the practical problems that atypical Farang has to face when trying to balance the irregularities and unfairness of the Thai regime but that isn't what I am talking about and you know what I am referring to its the mindless mind games that we get into as a member who anticipates in the cut and thrust of an argument that will never be resolved

So why do I contribute?

As it goes for pilots: endless hours of sheer boredom interrupted by moments of sheer terror.

Go with the flow and find another flow if that one doesn't work.

Often it's two to tango. One's behavior causes another to react. Relationships take work. Not necessarily hard work, but attention and care.

Here in America have a 550 degree oven and use a cast iron pan for pizza. It is simple a great way to make excellent pizza.

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I'm am American and in America and Americans are prone to wanting to get pissed off and in a fighting mood. It's really weird and we watch out step here. Like the sleeping dog. This guy very likely got pissed at getting clipped by the attacker and things went from there.

Trip went well. She's been in the USA for two weeks or so. Just better (for peace of mind, at least) to have the ticket bought in Thailand by the person flying...

Cheers,

Palaver

White text on black bad. Articles not dated. Guest writers - no context. Hackneyed articles. Not so great. Site not organized.

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I don't think some of the people on this site knew who they were marrying.

Need to be very clear and explicit, no stones unturned, to wife/finance about your ways with money (if you are tight and save).

I hammered home and again about my tightwad ways to my fiance and made everything clear about how things would be. A couple need to really understand each other. Really understand. And if you both clearly understand each other, then there really should not be any problem.

Maybe some people married young girls who have stars in their eyes or just the type of person they married.

It takes two to tango.

As for work, the US government does not want to support people on dole. There are enough people on the dole already. The government will support people from south of the border, aka Mexico and get you money, housing, lawyers, and work permits. Just come across the Rio Grande and it is all free.

Yes, you should have a steady job and apply. But the government, it seems, wants to see years of steady employment. It seems like that. Not sure where they draw the line.

No need for a lawyer. The paperwork is fairly simple and you can google the answers from others who have asked the questionable forms and evidence.

The point of the award is to send a message to these companies.

He was in the Korean war and got shot in the butt. What an amazing guy.