deus ex machina

Bluffer's call to arms is somewhat disingenuous and I hope he doesn't take offence if I decline the challenge to debate "whither teaching in Thailand" or any other such subject he might unreasonably extrapolate from my earlier posts.The purpose of using parentheses was abundantly clear to anyone with the meanest of intelligence as he full well knows;not all ajarns in Thailand merit the description and in highlighting that possibility by the use of " was simply an economical way of introducing the concept into my post.

However, we digress. It seems that those more experienced in the teaching profession have concluded that the poster's illiteracy should be no bar to his gaining employment as a teacher of english in Thailand.As I understand it, the objections to my posts are based on the notion that I place too much weight upon accurate spelling. On reading the post it is pitifully apparent that not only can he not spell but his expression is so clumsy that it obscures the meaning he wishes to convey. Now, we have to ask ourselves, is this because he is stupid or is it because his command of the language is so tenuous that he cannot express his ideas in a sufficiently coherent fashion. Difficult to tell, really. Either way, it seems to me he is not competent to teach that language either formally or conversationally, at any price.

The responses so far are not encouraging, but expectations were never high.

The poster is illiterate and regardless of how you wish to quantify the market, as if that was ever a valid factor in the education equation, I, and any other right thinking responsible adult in charge of another's education, would have to be barking mad to entrust it into the care of such an obviously, hopelessly, unqualified individual. What annoys me about the "ajarns" in this forum that tolerate such dross is their willingness to subject third world pupils to tenth rate instruction simply because it may afford the hapless teacher an opportunity to remain in circumstances not available to them in their own countries.

M.Ed indeed.......perhaps in Pidgin, in which case the chump might find his niche in PNG.

Good luck.

I strongly suggest that if you are lacking in confidence, get some before you go into your next relationship and if your next relationship is with an Asian man, than show him that confidence, that assertiveness, that feistiness that will make him realize that you are one of us and can't be walked on.

Go into the relationship believing that he is lucky to have you.

Unfortunately it seems too late in the day to solve your current problem, but just remember that love isn't just blind - it is also blinding and your feelings for him could override the good advice you have been given by those who have replied and can see the situation from an objective point of view.

Whoever hinted that this could end in tragedy was not joking either - it has happened before...  Jealousy and emotion are not dealt with well by Thai men and the whole 'lose face' thing and a tendancy to bottle up emotions and also to drink has resulted in many a tragic ending before.

No matter how much you love your job, don't take risks and get other Thai's on your side.

Like I said, good luck and do keep us updated.

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So, there you have it: Barbara Cartland or Shakespeare. The choice is yours?

Gosh, people really need to think before they spew forth such filth.

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If that was the case , we would never have the pleasure of reading your dimwitted self-rantings .

I predict you will act like an arse in Thailand and expect to hear your pubescant self-infatuated diatribe on how you were beaten to a pulp by a 7 year old Spaniel in the near future.

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You're all acting like I'm American or British I don't travel to get drunk and fight like the Brits and I don't try to force my foreign policy all over the world like the Yanks.

I'm not an arrogant ignorant whelp that's travelling to "get laid and party it up" I'm travelling to experience the unexperienced and open my eyes to the rest of the world. I live in Canada... so you could say I live in a sheltered world and I want to get to know the rest of the world. I want to go to India aswell. Open my eyes to how great I have it in Canada...

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Excellent response.

Act as disgracefully as you wish though, it is the prerogative of the young so enjoy while you can. But please remember, if you are not upsetting someone you are probably not doing it right !

Any terrier, properly trained, should do the trick. Jack Russells enjoy a fine reputation but for sheer indomitable savagery a Scottish border terrier takes some beating. They are unstoppable and have no fear once the hunt begins.The only problem is, and this applies to most terriers, is when they disappear down a hole.Silly buggers never know when to give up and more often than not they need to be dug out, so you will need to take a spade with you. My experience is limited to the Surrey hills where the risk from other fauna is somewhat less than that which could be expected in deepest,darkest Isaan. Quite what a terrier would make of a python is anyone's guess.But, certainly it should see of most cats, feral or otherwise.

Hi all !

Im just basically a newcomer to Thailand and just wander what is the salary

payed by an recruting agency

at different schools in Bangkok and out of city for an english teacher

(with bachelor degree or without)

for appr. 20 hrs a week ?

and does it differ if apply directly by the school??

thx and regards

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It is probably symptomatic of the standards prevailing within this forum that no one has yet to comment upon the blindingly obvious fact that the poster should not be allowed near a classroom either under the guise of an english teacher, which he patently could never be, or as an itinerant opportunist which he undoubtedly is.

On one hand we have posts elsewhere which advocate a dialogue with the Thai educational establishment suggesting the unlocking of resources that are undoubtedly available to assist in English teaching but on the other we have this thread which does no one in the business any favours and simply serves to undermine any credibility gained by the hard pressed professionals.

Or have I missed the point?

I agree we are all probably more laid back and tolerant. And I'm sure the environment has it's effects on us (although some of us have probably been here so long as not to notice!). In a strange way it has also made me more persistent. I find that there are many more ways to solve a problem or get things done. Whereas years ago if something looked impossible or someone told me it couldn't be done, I would have probably given up, after a couple of tries anyway. Now my brain just short circuits a bit looking for other ways ( I think the technical term might be non linear problem solving!!).  Basically I've become someone who never takes no for an answer.

It works in Thailand , even with the bureaucracy and it seems to work very well in the UK. I'm told no or not possible and I already have a smile on my face and am working out how to make it possible.

Maybe I'm turning into a Thai!

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No, that moronic grin or smile is just buying time whilst they are trying to work out what to do with someone whose vacuous stupidity they have not previously encountered before.Oh c'mon, are you so stupid as to think even the most educationally deficient Thai is not going to suss out your patronising, totally witless,condescending drivel? My khmer woman thinks you people are funny but a liitle tragic and lost because you have no soul and have become ashamed.You leave your family and that is it........ the rest, as far as most Thai are concerned, is your own psycho babble. Wrap yourself up with it if you must but please,please, keep your delusions to yourself if only to preserve your dignity.

Well, I am in agreement with uncledonald here, this thread has absolutely nothing to do with health or medicine in any way shape or form.

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I was going to contribute but found the site locked. Hey ho....... another site it seems......, but the question is nevertheless begged, why close something down....?It costs nothing to be maintained and who knows when the equivalent of the next Einstein might next stroll by? In the context of Ken Kesey, are you a Ratchett or a Murphy????

From the few posts ive seen from this Uncle D, a few things spring to mind, namely (in order of importance/relavence);

1, obsessive-compulsive disorder

2, Possible hidden autism

3, lack of evidence to the point of urban myth (i.e. you can catch HIV from a toilet seat)

4, Bonkers

5, Far too much time on his own talking to himself

could anyone with any real knowledge of suggest wath they think?

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Personally speaking, the above qualities are what I look for in the perfect dining companion with whom I might converse intelligently upon subjects ranging from the wispiest whimsy to the positively profound. You, on the other hand, have yet to demonstrate either wit or intelligence and certainly have not brought anything to the table that might remotely be described as "knowledge", real or otherwise. One awaits your thesis.

By definition, any contribution is positive, qualifying it is another matter. Moderation or censorship? The choice is yours, George.In my book, less is more.

and it is not even a distant relative thrice removed of..... ladies look away now please.....

piss flaps n.

1. Labia; beef curtains. 2. interj. Exclamation of disappointment. As in "Oh piss-flaps! I never win the Lottery!"

all definitions courtesy of Rogers Profanisaurus.

one of the funniest books in print.

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.................or " piss flaps like saddlebags " if you are of an equestrian bent. If not, then perhaps a piece of steeplejack imagery might fit the bill as in " piss flaps like a roof tiler's nail bag " although the labial aspect could be substituted by " tits". its more common usage.

scouser: Inside a Bavarian's Lederhosen?

What's it with the Lederhosen? It's a timeless and stately garment for the young rural professional. Don't these young lads and lasses look handsome?

X-Pat

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X-Pat,

If asked to give examples of an oxymoron, I was inclined to suggest " German diplomacy" or " German humour " but in the light of your inestimable posts here and elsewhere I shall have to find other inspiration. By the way, Harry was probably just expressing his Teutonic roots......if it was not for his profound stupidity he might have even gotten away with it by claiming to be making an ironic statement.As it was , given the huge offence it was nevertheless a delicious moment.Another example of English schadenfreude?

I take your point but festooning posts with enlightening emoticons, in lieu of punctuation and accurate expression, strikes me as being somewhat lazy and perhaps a little patronising to the reader.Nevertheless, I can see its value in aiding comprehension in the more obtuse.

What a pompous ass you are...

Having read all of your 35 posts to date, you don't really have much to say at all, except of course to try to put people down... and to think I had a good chuckle over one of your previous posts this morning.

Where are you from and what has made you so bitter?

Irony? No... pompousity (sp?) in your case.

/Edit - your apology in the OP should be applied to the majority of posts you've made on the Forum to date.

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Yeah, that's me.But beware of labelling, it can say more about the labeller than the labelled. Are you really taking this all so seriously?

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No really... *yawn*

I think I'll wander off now to the Tits Thread for some real entertainment...

I hope my festoonment of emoticons has enlightened you appropriately for now... not wishing to seem patronising of course...

/Edit - fixed typo

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I hope you don't mean the ladies forum.........

I take your point but festooning posts with enlightening emoticons, in lieu of punctuation and accurate expression, strikes me as being somewhat lazy and perhaps a little patronising to the reader.Nevertheless, I can see its value in aiding comprehension in the more obtuse.

What a pompous ass you are...

Having read all of your 35 posts to date, you don't really have much to say at all, except of course to try to put people down... and to think I had a good chuckle over one of your previous posts this morning.

Where are you from and what has made you so bitter?

Irony? No... pompousity (sp?) in your case.

/Edit - your apology in the OP should be applied to the majority of posts you've made on the Forum to date.

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It seems to me that in expressing irony one always runs the risk that the intended audience will simply take offence at the terms in which it may be couched rather than comprehending the fuller meaning. This of course transgresses the first modern commandment " Thou shalt not cause offence " and the penalties for doing so in this dreary,anodyne, politically corrected world can be severe, not least the curtailment of free speech. It is suggested that posts should be carefully phrased in order that they may appeal to the widest audience without the merest hint of ambiguity so complete comprehension can be ensured.Unfortunately, appealing to the lowest common denominator is seldom rewarding and swiftly becomes boring.One only has to look at American television to illustrate the point.

Reading some of the posts, it occurs to me that cultural differences play no real part in determining our sense of humour and it may be that it is our genetic programming which has the greater role. As ever, nature or nuture? Incidentally, why is it there are no female submarine commanders or chess grandmistresses? It may be for the same reason that women appear congenitally incapable of reading maps or approaching a roundabout without first stopping.Spatial awareness, perhaps?

maestro: 2. Many forum members are not native English speakers and it is rather difficult to understand irony in a language other than one’s one.

As a member of the German community, I should say that renderings of dry British humour are much appreciated. I apologise for not always being able to instantly grasp such exalted levels of humour, especially if they contain allusions to British TV personages and other local peculiarities.

You see, we Germans are trained to think logically in a rectilinear sort of way. Like the Americans we prefer to build our roads straight rather than with many curves (and we also drive on the proper side of these roads). The high level of abstraction and the twisted path of thought required to interpret ironical messages (and to drive on the left side of the road) runs somewhat against our cultural grain.

Yet, for the purpose of exhanging humorous communication with our friends across the channel, it would be nice if the British members could perhaps post some instructions on how to properly construct sentences that contain British humour. I am thinking along the lines of a "British humour user manual - its construction and application".

If possible, these instructions should avoid jokes about Yanks and other nations, because -as we all know- it is a very bad thing to ridicule other cultures, unless they are French.

Thank You.

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Excellent post, mon brave.

I did an open university course a few months back, which involved communicating with other students through on-line chats, etc.  Before we started we were introduced to the concept of netiquette.  Basically, it's the understanding that the emoticons are used to convey humour, irony, etc. 

When they are seen it tells you not to take the post so seriously.  Maybe an administrator could tag a post somewhere explaining this concept.

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I take your point but festooning posts with enlightening emoticons, in lieu of punctuation and accurate expression, strikes me as being somewhat lazy and perhaps a little patronising to the reader.Nevertheless, I can see its value in aiding comprehension in the more obtuse.

This post is not meant for the squeamish,sensitive or otherwise precious individuals who may, for reasons only they could possibly fathom, object to the following post which is not directed at anyone in the particular and is therefore not intended to cause offence to any person living or dead either within this forum or without. If offence is taken, then I apologise, wholeheartedly,unequivocally and without any qualification whatsoever.

Why, and I am not being facetious in posing this question, is it that the use of irony is seldom appreciated or even understood in TV?

As a literary technique it is invaluable in pricking balloons of arrogance,hubris and and other delusionary conceits, and therefore a style which might find its natural home in any forum, yet somehow its use seems to have no currency at Thaivisa.I appreciate that some nationals, for example, North Americans, may have some difficulty in grasping the idea of it in the same way that sarcasm similarly seems to fly over their heads,but are other folk similarly affected? Is it only us Brits who like to "take the piss"? In which case, why should that be? My Thai whoopsie regularly means the opposite she says and does so with such panache that, just occasionally, I actually take her at her word! I sometimes speculate upon this skill she evidently possesses and its origin.Then it occurred to me, sincerity is entirely negotiable and therefore of little intrinsic value, something most Thai grasp instinctively. But I digress, if only to remain on topic...it is after all, Thaivisa.com

Anyway, there it is .

The question is " are TV members too dumb to use irony"

Is this the women's section?  How many of the 36 replies were from women or straight men?

Anyway, I'm not that picky.  Some muscle is fine.  I've gone with Thais ranging in stature from 4 feet 10, to 6 feet 1 (which is taller than me).  One weighed 40 kilos! 

Personally, I prefer androgynous looks, without the soprano voice.

IJWT: I have never seen a Thai as big as you!

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// post edited. Off topic and abusive.

Member warned and suspended.

ChrisP Moderator

SBK

Do you think it appropriate for a moderator to be so active within the forum.The chap was being reasonable, I thought, but he evidently rubbed you up the wrong way and you indicated that a sanction might ensue unless he altered his attitude.Forgive me for interfering, but I would have thought that such a policy is counterproductive since it inevitably will lead to posts that only meet your personal criteria and consequently some of the dynamism necessary for the survival of any forum may be lost.

Regards

D

he's had 36 posts and 2 threads closed already. The 'why was my thread closed' threads go the same way.

we should be more tolerant of eccentrics.

i , for one , welcome them.

just because some may not understand his postings is surely not enough reason to curtail his right to post. no offence has been caused to others by his posts.

sounds a bit like book burning.

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I'll second that!

The majority of posters, with the exception of yourself of course, probably have the accumulated I.Q. of a snuffling hedgehog but at least they responded which is more than can be said of the lumpen,lupine, allegedly moderating,influence operating within this forum.The voice of science through the ages has had many octaves but it seems those destined to hear are eternally tone deaf.

AAAAHHHHHHTIIIISHHHOOOO

Scouse.

PS. As a salutory point, I once raided a Thai restaurant in Surrey and nicked the owner's sister for working when she shouldn't have been. She'd been in the UK less than 24 hours.

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Sounds like we ought to be careful what we say or you might be tipping off the authorities, what a lovely job you have, you must be very proud of nicking people as you mention it quite often-peter

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I appreciate the topic to which Thai3 contributed is now closed but I remain intrigued as to why he/she felt it necessary to question Scouse's motivation in supplying the inestimable advice he has provided over the past 3 years. Any story is inevitably sweetened by the presaging anecdote and Thai3's comments are no exception. Unfortunately, the moderator's use of the guillotine(sp?) has prevented any prospect of enlightenment which is such a pity since it is increasingly rare that I find my interest is aroused, particularly within these fora so often blighted by the stupid,profane or just plain addled.

Can my thai g/f work in the UK if she has a tourist visa? If not what sort of visa does she require?

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Loads of thais working here without a permit, as well as asylum seekers and students from abroad who coul'nt be arsed to get a visa. The whole thing is a farce from what I have seen. Know one bloke who came on a 1 year student visa from KK four years ago, never studied and still working in thai restaurants. Nobody seems to give a ###### in reality-peter

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Absolutely spot on.The reality gap is cavernous and only addressed when political considerations occasionally intrude but the effect is always the same, minimal.Unless, of course, the zillions of offenders might include the odd muslim in which case your takeaway Bangla price could increase fractionally.But, regardless, Anaorak should nevertheless at least attempt to engage what may pass for a brain if only for form's sake and in the perhaps hopeless belief that he is not already a paid up member of the pigs might fly club.

Can my thai g/f work in the UK if she has a tourist visa? If not what sort of visa does she require?

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Yes, of course she can but only if she holds a French visa.........