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Browncow3

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    Long term relationship with broke Thai man

    in Ladies in Thailand

    Posted

    Sounds more like you have found a perfect Mr Mom

    You can work your job after marriage and he can stay home and raise the kids full time

    Nothing wrong with that

    I stay home all day and tend to our daughter while my GF works at a hospital in Bangkok

    But then again I retired early and am ok for money

    Talk to him about this scenerio

    It might be what you both want

    Thanks for the sound advice LuckyLew.

    Long term relationship with broke Thai man

    in Ladies in Thailand

    Posted

    Hi everyone, I'm reading replies with such interest and appreciation. The scale is weighing heavily on the negative side in terms of people's feedback. I know I'm potentially setting myself up here for a very hard future and a broken heart. But my gut tells me this is about negotiation. And if I fall into the trap of looking at stereotypes and fearing what's POSSIBLE, I will never commit to anyone. But yes... I'm mulling over this one carefully.

    To be clear (my bad for saying it so flippantly) I am 35 years old. And I do want children so yes the clock is ticking.

    Long term relationship with broke Thai man

    in Ladies in Thailand

    Posted · Edited by Browncow3

    Thank you to everybody for the thoughtful feedback. I appreciate not being attacked. Excuse the lists but it's easier for me to collect my thoughts - I would like to add:

    1. We are intellectually matched - has nothing to do with education - different lifestyles yes. And honestly - I envy his life style and care-free - the universe will take care of me type of attitude. I even admire it.

    2. After 35 years of relationships - I believe every man (person) has his faults and you have to decide which you are prepared to deal with. For example he is not a ladies man, fooling around, out drinking all night etc. which I would find intolerable. His 'fault' is one of financial naivety. Something I don't find offensive just challenging.

    3. I don't subscribe to the traditional idea that a man should support a woman - sometimes the roles are swapped. I am prepared to support my children with or without a man - yes it will be difficult, maybe awfully difficult, but not impossible.

    4. He definitely does feel emasculated. He wouldn't let me buy him a birthday present saying I spend too much money on him.

    I feel that with an open conversation about my expectations he will absolutely come to the party. I just need to decide what to ask for.

    I'm really looking for ideas on how he can pull his weight in ways that aren't financial.

    Sorry if this is getting boring...

    Anyone else got something to say? Male perspectives are welcome too.

    • Like 2
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    Long term relationship with broke Thai man

    in Ladies in Thailand

    Posted

    Hi girls,

    I am in need of some constructive advice. The story is this:

    I have fallen head over heels for a Thai man and marriage is on the cards. Now I've questioned myself as to whether I am being naive, and I don't think I am but here goes..

    1. He is not lazy. If something needs doing around the house, motorbike fixed or any technical issue he takes care of it willingly and quickly.

    2. He is truly the most generous man I have ever met - if not financially.

    3. He does have a job but it is basic labor which pays peanuts and he is self-employed.

    4. He has a COMPLETELY different understanding of finances than to me. He doesn't know how to plan, save or even manage money. He lives from hand to mouth. I know I do need to accept a cultural as well as class difference here. I don't mean class in a derogatory sense, but he is a lower-income bracket earner with a different background.

    5. I want children with this man and this is mainly because he loves kids, takes time and care with them, actually has all the time in the world for them if not providing financial support.

    6. The list goes on about him being fantastic in every other way.

    The problem is he is broke all the time and I regularly give him money which I know won't, and do not expect to be paid back. I am also in a position where I have about 10 times earning power as he does being a farang.

    But... I have become resentful. When I wake up at 6 every morning to go to work and he stays and snoozes till whatever time.... when I work nights or weekends to make some extra cash for holidays and things and he is not contributing...

    There is another issue. Constantly asking me for money and needing help when his rent is late etc is emasculating for him. There is a huge amount of pressure building up that has the potential to ruin an otherwise wonderful and fulfilling relationship.

    What can I do to solve this once and for all? I have thought about paying him an "allowance" every month so I don't keep giving in drips and drabs and discussing his becoming the equivalent of a 'kept' woman in western terms. Again emasculating, but how about cleaning the house and being the key care-giver of our kids? This will all come in the future though... what do I do right now?

    I want this relationship to work and be mutually fair and beneficial...

    Any tips, ideas, advice please.

    Thanks

    • Like 3

    Degrees accepted by Khrusapha

    in Teaching in Thailand Forum

    Posted

    Hi there,

    I do not yet have a degree and wish to do one via distance learning. I'd like to do a general degree and a teachers qualification afterwards, as doing a degree in education requires practical time in the country where the university is based.

    I don't want to do a degree through my home country (South Africa) which I know is preferred, because SA has a terribly bad administration standard. Many problems doing a degree online...

    I'm looking at a degree in TESOL through Thongslook College in Bangkok. The director assures me it is in fact accredited and one can do a Masters in Ed. or teachers qualification afterwards. This will be ideal but I need to be SURE that Khrusapha accepts this degree for a non-b visa.

    My other option is a Fillipine university such as UPO which has a very high standard of education.

    I'm looking for a list (apparently available on the Khrusapha website but cannot locate it) of ACCEPTED degrees - by Khrusapha.

    Anyone have one?

    • Like 1

    Marriage visa

    in Ladies in Thailand

    Posted

    I am a South African woman in Thailand. I was meant to come here for the short-term but met a Thai man, fell in love and we plan to marry someday. This means I want to start making a life here. But in order to do that I need to work. I don't have a degree so don't qualify for a non-b visa. I am currently on an Ed visa. I know there are various illegal options for people like me but I want to do this legally and properly. If I do get a marriage visa I can apply for a work permit - but I still can't get that without a non-b visa.

    I am going to do a degree - but that will take a minimum of 4 years.

    What do I do right now to work and live here legally?

    Can someone please advise me?

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