Williams9

Since I was last on the forum discussing getting help for my father on 26th November and before I could arrange to get out to Thailand he had a fall on December 7th and passed away in his condo on the 8th.

I went on the forum to try an get some advise and contacts to assist in getting my father home but it seems it was to late.

Some members were very helpful and sympathetic to his plight but others seem to have been suspicious of the motives  I had. That seems a very sad state of affairs.

The funeral was held in Thailand and many of his friends attended.

Thanks for those who were helpful and to the doubters, I guess karma will catch up.

32 minutes ago, ratcatcher said:

A distressing situation indeed. Who is caring for your father on a daily basis, viz a viz food, hygiene, accommodation etc? Is he living on his own or with another person? I am sure most who read this will sympathize with your situation.

From what I can gather is that he is looking after himself to some extent. When I was out in April, from what I was told by him he didn't have a girl, but others told me he did.

I have been in constant contact with the manager at the Condo and one of his friends, but over the last few weeks the situation has deteriorated and I am looking to come over with my mother (his ex wife) who he doesn't remember even though they were married for 30 odd years.

On 6/26/2019 at 5:41 AM, Gilltom said:

Any update on this maybe the son as come over

Hi Gilltom

I have been in constant contact with the manager at the Condo and one of his friends, but over the last few weeks the situation has deteriorated and I am looking to come over with my mother (his ex wife) who he doesn't remember even though they were married for 30 odd years.

Going to try again with British Embassy before coming out to see if I can get some help.

That is the plan. But last time he refused to even get in the taxi to go to the airport

27 minutes ago, murraynz said:

how old is your father ???   do you know somebody that you trust, who could live in pattaya to 

'watch over him',daily- or maybe he has a reliable 'friend'...you have funds, maybe offer a small cash incentive, not to thai lady though....

perhaps somebody in his condo building, can watch over him...

im very sympathetic,i live in pattaya, but sorry, i cant be a volunteer...

unfortunately, there are too many people in thailand that would be very happy relieving your father of any money he gets...to them, its soo easy for farlang, we have BIG  money---it grows on trees..

i hope your father doesnt drive..that could be lethal...

My father is 74. I've been in contact with the manager at the condo and am looking to see if they can assist.

2 minutes ago, NokNokJoke said:

What happens if the family does an 'intervention' of sorts, come to thailand under the pretense of a visit, maybe get him to BKK or wherever it will be quicker for him to be deported and on  a plane,  and hand him over to immigration?  Possibly with some donations for expediency and comfort?   He should be banned from coming back into thailand, not sure how willing he will be to stay in the UK or the process to take control over him legally in the UK?

I have been on the phone to him again this morning and tried saying I would come over for a week to sort more things out and then for him to come back with me for a while. All I got was a firm NO. He said there is no way I'm getting on a plane to go back. I've pleaded and begged but then the conversation starts again due to the dementia.

If I were to get him to the airport I think he would cause a big scene and refuse and become aggitated and possibly aggressive which would stop us boarding the plan I'm sure.

Friends of ours have just been over last week and have mentioned that he is adamant that he's not returning, they even tried to bring him back on the premise of a short break back home to meet up with old friends & family.

As I mentioned before all the ex pat friends that has in Pattaya he has alienated as he becomes cross with them when they try and help etc.

It's a shame that he chose Thailand to live in as it seems that all government & police all need bribing to get anything done and also trying to find someone who speaks Thai and is willing to help is very difficult.

I've made contact with the British Embassy in BKK and am waiting a reply

16 hours ago, DaRoadrunner said:

You own a care home and then come on TV here asking us what to do?

I'm asking how to get him out of Thailand and what processes I need to do out there. If he was in the UK then I could deal with Social Services etc etc. 

I'm looking for service to help me get him back to the UK. I'm aware of all the power of attorney laws processes in the UK and how it works. The problem I have is accessing those types of services in Thailand or if they even are an option to ex pats out there.

4 minutes ago, from the home of CC said:

I would think he would have to be declared incompetent legally in the U.K. (I guess based on a Thai doctors diagnosis) and you granted power of attorney for signing powers. I guess that would be the easy part. Definitely a real tough situation and probably one that we'll see more often.  

 

 

 

Yes that is the route I need to go down. I do have a signed document from a Thai law firm stating that he has given me powers if he is diagnosed incompetent. I did that about 8 yrs ago. The thing is I guess he would have to be detained in a hospital or something to be able to get that diagnosis done. He won't go voluntarily.

1 minute ago, madmen said:

I had this exact situation with a friend of mine. He developed dementia (88 years old) and we found him a nurse and he moved in house in UBON paying for her services around the clock . After a year or so due to his deterioration she could no longer take care of him so she dropped him off at the US embassy and drove off

 

Embassy paid for a short stay in a nursing home and paid for his flight home including having a contact meet him at the airport and he is now in a nursing home US

 

Very Impressive.

Problem is he still has capacity to know what's going on and refused to even think about coming back with me. He won't go anywhere to be looked after

1 minute ago, Tagged said:

If the imigration take him in, he will be detained before transferred out. You do not want that to happen to him. 

Any suggestion on how to get him out then??

Just now, Tagged said:

Have you tried the embassy for help or advise?

Just tried ringing the Thai emabassy in London but phone keeps ringing and no answer. Will try again

4 minutes ago, Jingthing said:

You don't want to get him deported. That process could kill him.

Sent from my Lenovo A7020a48 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

In what way?? What makes you think that??

Hi all

Looking for some help or ideas. My father has been living in Pattaya for the last 15 years, owns his own apartment and has been on a retirement visa. However over the last year it seems that he has been developing dementia and is now unable to manage his daily finances etc. I flew out in March as he was constantly on the phone saying he had no money even though he has over £2,000 going into his account monthly. After arriving in Thailand, first thing I had to do was sort out an issue with the police as he's been involved in a bump in his pick up and that had been seized by the police. With other things it cost over £1500 to sort the mess out.

After looking at his finances it seems that he has spent over £55,000 in the last year, so all of his income and all of his savings. I'm not sure due to his dementia that he's being taken advantage of etc. I have  stopped the big payments going into his account and now send him a weekly allowance. He would not return with me to the UK and gets very cross when it's mentioned. I'm now having emails from his apartment manager saying that he is asking for money from other residents and can be come abusive with them.

What I'm trying to find out is how would I get him deported for his own safety etc. There is a ticket in his passport that states he was granted a 90 day extension till 4th May 2019, he doesn't have the funds to support himself. Any ideas.

MAny thanks