TIMMOC

I lived in Phrae for 2 years in the 1980s.   We had a resident "doo-gae" in our home.  My neighbors said it was good luck and that Thai people honored - not feared - these creatures.  Maybe times have changed but, traditionally, these creatures were accepted and honored. 

I am a 54-year old American who is not willing to live in Trump's Amerika.  I've spent significant time in Thailand over four decades and know I could happily live there.  This new Visa may be the right ticket.  The financial and insurance requirements are not a problem.  How do I apply?   

Dear Illustrious British Monarch,

We are in receipt of your recent memo regarding usurpation of the USA. We are extremely flattered by your gracious gesture. We refuse to lend any credence to the wild rumors that this is merely a desperate ploy to shore up an alliance with us and avoid further isolation in the event of a likely Brexit and Scotland’s consequential departure from the UK. No, we take your kind words at face value as a sincere offer to intervene to help us with our all-too-obvious problems.

Far be it from us to quibble endlessly about the particulars of your magnanimous offer, but to avoid any future misunderstandings, we feel obligated to short list a few necessary edits to the proffered exchange:

We will gladly take the British actors, but only if you throw in the British comedians as well. Extra bonus if you thrown in Adele. And consider the dumping of Andie McDowell a done deal.

We will keep our driving on the right side of the road and our gas prices. We do find it quaint and oddly admirable that you seek to be different than most of the world in this particular detail. We imagine it is a point of pride with you and wholeheartedly concur with your bucking the trend. Though left-driving is not for us, we happily will submit to a ban on firearms.

You may keep David Cameron and the Parliament, though we may revisit if Trump is elected President.

With respect to UK cuisine - in other words, chips and beer - we are deeply touched by your concern for our food welfare. Out of respect for Your August Person, we resolve to eating UK food at least once a year, but really (and how can we put this politely), UK food isn’t quite up-to-snuff according to American standards. We will simply have to make do with the hundreds of varieties of tasty, healthy cuisines available here.

With respect to sports, I understand that baseball may be beyond the ken of the average British — all that strategy and what-not — but it really is a sentimental favorite here (and dozens of other countries for that matter) and don’t see how we could forgo it. But to keep you happy, we will give rugby a try and see how it goes. How is it catching on in other countries?

Finally, dear Queen, we have to most respectfully decline your gracious invitation to be our Sovereign. You see, Sir Elton John already resides here much of the year and, as you well know, one British Queen at a time is all we can hope to accommodate.

Ever yours,

Sons & Daughters of Liberty

I left Thailand 30 years ago after having lived there two years, and I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had stayed on. I suppose that is why I frequent this forum. I by no means regret the decision to leave Thailand to return home to start a new career. My life turned out pretty good on the whole. Still, I like to visit Thailand from time to time and maybe one day I might return for an extended stay.

Helps if you're young & beautiful/handsome so you can be a poster boy/girl for their program.

Sounds like a cynical post, but it's 100% gospel truth.

Yes - I have witnessed this firsthand. Last year I visited a school up-country where I had taught English many years ago. On approaching the school, I noticed a large billboard on the road leading to the school featuring the smiling photos of four young, attractive foreign English teachers, promoting the school's English language curriculum.

The OP's premise - that 21 year old Thai women are categorically less mature than Western counterparts - is egregiously racist.

can't blame a dude for trying, right?

Kinda clever, but someone with English skills should really proof the text before releasing.

"Oh, the monkey took the bag ..." Right ... <wink> Totally realistic.

Work hard, save, live modestly below your means, and retire early = Priceless.

Thank god for the bloody ole US of A. Somebody needed to bring these criminals to justice.

I am glad the OP raised this topic and, what's more, the OP is correct - septic systems can handle the right kind of toilet paper without problem. I've used such a system without problem for years. The simple solution is for Thailand, and other Asian countries (and Greece??) to stock the right kind of TP. I, too, am bothered by human feces-stained wipes stewing in the bin, and bum-guns are not always available in Asian toilets.

"Volunteers," starring Tom Hanks, a comedy about Peace Corps volunteers attempting to build a bridge in Northern Thailand who encounter resistance from a local KMT warlord. Pretty funny.

Also, Good Morning Vietnam.

Filmed in Thailand? The Killing Fields. Supposed to be about Thailand? Volunteers (with Tom Hanks and John Candy)

I was a peace corps volunteer in a rural part of Thailand for a couple years a long while back. The only times when I felt personally unsafe were the couple times I was being hassled by Thai cops. It seemed they were at liberty to threaten my property and safety, without recourse. That was genuinely scary. Lucky for me, I knew the local police chief and when I invoked his name, the harassment ceased.

Thais are a pretty people, and they know it.

Means 'don't talk' -- I said toiletries above and didn't feel the need to detail items in what Walmart.com refers to the 'Sexual Wellness' department. Also last trip bought a Lodge cast-iron frying pan.

Even I knew that, and I haven't lived in Thailand since 1986.

Jackie Chan (60)

Jet Li (52)

B.D. Wong (54)

The OP is right on. I was a victim of this same scam in 2007, though the 'price' was 3000 baht then I think.