GF47

I almost never get stopped and I usually have my backpack plus camera bag. I just walk past and don't make eye contact. Some of them know me, some don't. Most Asian males carrying similar things get stopped, at least at the places I go. It could be that security at certain stations are being managed differently.

The only times they've aggressively insisted is when I had my travel bags with me.

I wouldn't call it harassment at all.

I'm cool with the occasional bar girl, don't really lack confidence with those types, I just feel like they usually ask a high price for bad service in Bangkok so I don't indulge much. I'm sure it varies.

Yeah see, you are full of it.

You can sit chat with one of those girls over no more than a drink or two without having to automatically think about the cost of later services.

Theres no use sitting across the table with your "normal" thai girl date, convincing yourself you are after intellectual stimulation and common interest....if every time a hotter girl walks past, your head turns and you eyes are glued. Any girl can sniff that BS out in a matter of milliseconds

You dont lack confidence with those type of girls?, you are the worst person to be the judge of that.

Being truly honest with yourself is the first step

Hmm ok but I haven't really liked sitting and drinking with them either, at least in Bangkok, the times I've done it. Maybe just haven't found right place - the Nana vibe is "Buy me a dink and my friend a drink and also 1 for the waitress serving the drinks and we're going to ask for new rounds every 5 minutes and then pout and make you feel bad if you don't" while the mamasan verbally abuses them right in front of me. I guess there are some places outside of there that might be a little more chill.

As for my head swiveling around every time a hotter girl walks by I'm not really sure where you're getting that from. I see hot women every time I leave the condo it's not really something that distracts me.

Try a different tack. Visit the German beer bar on sukhumvit Soi 7 in the afternoon. There will be dozens of available women. Sit next to a couple and make eye contact and smile. They will engage and you will be able to practice talking to women. Be interested in them, hear about their lives, maybe even buy a drink. You don't have to take it any further, but it eases you into being comfortable with a woman. Do it a few times and you'll see what works and what doesn't. So when you talk to those with a regular job, it becomes easier.

Nice idea if u wanna make your eyes glaze over.

Haha well I understand the intention. I'm cool with the occasional bar girl, don't really lack confidence with those types, I just feel like they usually ask a high price for bad service in Bangkok so I don't indulge much. I'm sure it varies.

Anyway I got what I'd been wanting, sort of. Sexy office lady in her early 30s. I don't know that she'll be the love of my life, but it's fun for now. I'm just surprised that it took 3 months.

Be careful. There are many Thai women that would take advantage of you.

I've met a few and I know the type. But I'm wanting a real soul-mate type of candidate, or at least a cool personality, not just anyone with a decent face. The manipulators get frustrated and move on pretty quick.

Meeting women in bangkok is like falling off a log. It is too easy.I have met them trying to jaywalk at the same place and slept with her the next night. When I lived in Bangkok I met women all day. Could have dinner every night with a new women. I think maybe you should just get outside and meet them. Easy at Big C or any mall.At an eatery,just about any where you go. Bars are the worst places. Ice cream parlours,coffee shops just about any were. Just smile and make eye contact and be friendly too easy.Bangkok women are receptive to meeting new men.

Don't buy into that silly nonsense, its not easy at all. It sounds like you need to be a bit more patient. You can meet women if you want but I don't think they are the sort you really want to meet unless you think with a certain part of your anatomy like some apparently do. I would suggest spend a few years improving your Thai and broadening your social circles. It's generally who you know and their friends that make the difference. I think you need to take your time. Any fool can find a woman here but finding one that's right for you takes time.

The pool of women available to farang men is actually quite shallow.

They look great but there's not much depth to them.

That's fine for guys who don't really want much more than a female who can cook, clean and screw

If a guy needs more, he's not going to find it easy to meet suitable candidates in Thailand.

The OP sounds like he'd be better off with a Western woman.

Still young enough to get a half-decent one if he gets back quick

Awesome response - exactly what I've been thinking. Having trouble pursuing anyone with passion because I haven't found anyone that has me excited. I've taken the same girl out 3 nights in a row, and I could probably close the deal if I laid it on thick... But I'm feeling less motivated each time. I take her to a nice place on Kao San road (her choice) on a Friday night for the third date, and all she does is sip one drink and look at her phone - and is now acting upset that I didn't offer to repeat the experience tonight.

Recent time in Phnom Penh was definitely more... Exciting.

I still want to travel, I just didn't find the Bangkok adventure I was looking for.

You need a smile, in the photo and in real life. I can take a nice photo, can smile on demand but also serious person so lighten up.

You like to take photos? Take 50 of you smiling and post the best one.

Sounds like confidence issues. You're approaching pretty women out of your league. Just remember no matter what they look like, they're broke and no education.

Dress well. When I wear shorts in town, the hotties don't give me much if a look. Wearing a business shirt, slacks and tie, I get looks from all sorts of attractive women, many much younger. So, no shorts.

In 2016 I would not learn much Thai. But you need as much as you can tolerate self studying. Yup, need. This country is done. Enjoy what it has, photograph it and move on. BTW I hate Phil's, the women are just dangerous, the nation unsafe, the food atrocious. The Visayan English dialect drives me insane, its so ignorant. Phnom Penh used to be the loveliest capital in East Asia. Used to be, you're way late.

Don't rush the girlfriend thing.

Don't try for girls that are really young and pretty, they have tons of interest from Thai men. I don't see their competition in that photo sorry. But! Plenty of 25+++ hotties out there. The older women get the more they look for relationships as well as trying new things, like farang boyfriends.

You will run into headwinds with most being farang. Being seen with you, especially a noob with little grasp of Thai culture they think, their families, friends.

Definitely lose the photo thing, especially don't pull out a portfolio. Since you like outdoor photography invite her somewhere and photograph her there.

Thai women like well dressed, confident farang but I'll let a secret out. Every so often I see some stunning young woman in a crap food court job that's waiting to be swept off her feet.

Finally, learn to smile or move to colder climes.

I think you're right about most of it. Except for me going for women out of my league (I do recruit younger models but honestly don't expect anything else from them).

And out of curiosity, where would you move on to? If Thai is done, Phils is no good, and Phnom Penh is also done... Somewhere outside of East Asia I'm guessing.

Best of luck...coz you will need pots of it.

You are correct about the visa process in BKK. - I went through the mill with them to get a business visa with all the paperwork and still not good enough. took 3 goes. Standing in the sweating heat of BKK from 0730 to get in line.

If you are really desperate to go and you have money to stay in Hong Kong I believe it is easier as there are agencies that can help there but not in BKK unless you are Thai/Indian or even Filipino...

other than that you will have to make the bookings for hotel/flight etc and see what transpires in BKK ?

Yeah I could stay in Hong Kong... But what's the best way to do that? Fly there and talk to the agencies? Cancel my lease and then fly there and talk to agency? Or make my bookings, cancel my lease and then fly there and talk to the agencies?

We all know the issue is that things get more expensive the closer it is to crunch time... I wouldn't mind Hong Kong for a bit, but wouldn't want to stay too long, and wouldn't want that Shanghai flight to be too much more expensive because it wasn't booked way in advance

Also, is threading your eyebrows an option?

Haha I get them waxed every 2 weeks. Most girls have complimented the shape of my eyebrows, and are delighted when I tell them I get regular grooming....

Although I think most of those comments were coming from the Khmers.

The Thai girls don't tell me much of anything. Act shy and stay buried in their iphone the entire night, and then seem surprised that I am not proposing marriage.

I'm looking for a 3 month L Visa to China.

The idea is 6 weeks in Shanghai and then 6 weeks in Beijing, then onward to chill out in Cambodia.

I've heard all about the nightmare that is obtaining a Visa in Bangkok, however...

It sounds like they're going to require proof of hotel bookings/flights no matter where I'm applying. I'd be willing to go to Chaing Mai or HK if I could get around the proof of every night booked, but that sounds unlikely.

If I book everything a month out, that should give me enough time to get things sorted with the BKK embassy, yes?

What do you think? Split it between the two cities the best idea? I don't speak Mandarin so I'm going for places that have some experience with English.

I know Beijing has the most history to see, but my primary interest right now is in the rise of modern China.

Tinder conversation from 10 minutes ago. Pretty much says it all.

Meeting women in bangkok is like falling off a log. It is too easy.I have met them trying to jaywalk at the same place and slept with her the next night. When I lived in Bangkok I met women all day. Could have dinner every night with a new women. I think maybe you should just get outside and meet them. Easy at Big C or any mall.At an eatery,just about any where you go. Bars are the worst places. Ice cream parlours,coffee shops just about any were. Just smile and make eye contact and be friendly too easy.Bangkok women are receptive to meeting new men.

Sorry but this is BS. How are you scoring on every corner without excellent thai that you don't have. If they speak great English and it's all happening in lower Sukhumvit or some shopping malls then they are part time hookers but it's not always obvious to a newbie.

Even if she only asks for 500 baht to go shopping the morning after..

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk

You are right about the sukhumvit area. But that was not my playground. I was talking about 12 years ago when I lived on Soi Ari with tons of office girls and the Saphan Kwai area with their Big C. From Victory monument to Morchit. Little english but not necessary.Polite clean,well mannered wins every time with thai women.

I've also been hearing that Bangkok was different 12 years ago. That it was different even 5 or 6 years ago, and by different I mean the general attitude towards farangs. But I think you're right about Victory Monument being a good spot. Lots of down-to-earth middle class women who I would love to know. VM, Payathai, Ratchathewi are my favorite places in Bangkok.

The issue is that I'm not a clean, happy-go-lucky kind of person with a easy smile. I chose Bangkok because I thought someone like me (serious brooding artist, student of journalism and philosophy, wears lots of black etc) would be able to find similar people in a megacity like this, and what I'm finding out is that isn't the case, not easily anyway. The chemistry just isn't mixing.

Places like Tokyo or Shanghai may be a better bet, not just for romance but for the type of culture I would fit into.

Practice your chat up lines in the mirror or write stuff down and practice it.

Take risks in approaching someone, you've got nothing to lose if it goes wrong. Each time you try the more confident you will get. Think about what went wrong in that conversation and don't do it/say it next time.

Not saying it is easy but practice and getting confident and you will crack it.

But remember what others have said smile and smile again. It's the one thing my wife said she loved most about me when we first met over 8 years ago.

That's it! THAT'S the problem! I don't know how to smile. At least not without some serious partying. I've been trying to win ladies over with my intellectual and artistic ambitions, but I literally cannot make that casual smile.

YES!!!

We are all different personality types with different psychological makeups. I can be extremely confident - if I have something in common with the person I'm trying to relate to, or if they're at least giving a signal that they are interested.

To those who can successfully charm strangers at Big C, much respect. You have a personality type that others don't. I know Thai women like romance, but do they generally like having random Farang coming up and talking to them? I mean guys like me, who are not really good-looking? It sounds like its up for debate.

Thanks to those who have offered good insight.

I can relate to that, I am not so shy, have got up on stages and been on the TV a few times here with no rehearsal (MuM show last time) don't mind making a fool of myself and will quite happily be the only foreigner in a huge crowd of Thais. But the idea of approaching an unknown Thai woman for me is next to impossible, just can't do it for some reason.

It's something to do with the personality/psychological profile. I can function well under pressure, and am extremely confident when it comes to managing high-stakes professional situations. What I can't do is make charming small talk at the supermarket or bar. My brain locks up. So I've been trying to set things up with Tinder instead, and obviously the results haven't been great.

Even the horniest thai woman will NOT make the first move…it really is up to the man…they have told me this.

They like men with the guts to come up and say hello…yes, hello…that is all you need in terms of game.

Then invite them out…and go slow….unless she's a ho…which I gather you don't like.

If they bring a friend on a date, bail immediately.

Don't take any shit…and nip any gold digging behaviour in the bud by removing yourself from the situation pronto.

I would say good luck but you don't need any luck with these gals….just focus on the one you like and get in there.

Theres an old saying…any idiot can get a girl to fall in love with him…but it takes a a smart man to get a woman out of his life.

Cheers.

Spot on.

I remember 20+ years ago, on my first tour... I was young lad and everything changed when I learned a few simple things.

1. You have to make the move with Thai women. Being a little aggressive is OK. I dont mean physically. And in the beginning polite and well-dressed and well groomed is EXTREMELY important. Then keep asking girls out. You will have a list of names in no time.

If you want to take it to the next level, after some food and maybe a few dates ... it is not difficult.

I think the guy probably knows this already, the problem is being introverted as it's not something easily overcome no matter how much you would like to. It is not difficult it's just about impossible to approach women you don't know if you really are an introvert. It's rather like advising somebody with a fear of heights to go rock climbing or with claustrophobia to get into a small crowded space. I expect that's why he's tried the dating sites, some people swear by them as well but I never met anyone much good on them. Guys like the OP (and myself) are better in a situation where they are introduced to somebody but as he does not know anyone here that's not on either. I wish I could do the above but never have been able to and never will.

YES!!!

We are all different personality types with different psychological makeups. I can be extremely confident - if I have something in common with the person I'm trying to relate to, or if they're at least giving a signal that they are interested.

To those who can successfully charm strangers at Big C, much respect. You have a personality type that others don't. I know Thai women like romance, but do they generally like having random Farang coming up and talking to them? I mean guys like me, who are not really good-looking? It sounds like its up for debate.

Thanks to those who have offered good insight.

Get on an Air Asia flight and get down to Phnom Penn. This is a place you are comfortable in. Then when you meet someone that suits, move across to the chilled out place that is Siem Reap.

You will meet many very friendly, open, outgoing down to earth ex pats as opposed to sexpats. Many are working there as teachers, NGOs, or just helping to rebuild as volunteers. A photographers dream are the Angkor ruins and the Cambodian countryside. When you find your feet, go further afield and explore Kep, Battambang, Sihanoukville, a few islands etc

Siem reap has a busy crowd of expats, plenty stuff like live music, yoga, courses, etc. Take the Cambodian girl with you and explore together. If you have cash in pocket, your opportunities are endless.

I really want to be in Cambodia. I was in Phnom Penh for 2 weeks and had the best time I've had in over a decade. But the safety issues were obvious for someone with a nice camera. What I'm hearing is that it would be less of a issue if I was a expat, as opposed to someone staying in the obvious tourist areas?

OP.please just go home.enough is enough.

Yeah or you could just stop reading this thread.

I don't post in forums much, but I gave away almost all my possessions to look for adventure and maybe a new life, I've spent a decent amount of cash doing it, and I don't see why I shouldn't talk with others who have come before me, especially when things aren't working out.

And listening to all the insight from others on this thread has helped me clarify the problem. Thai women don't like my personality and nothing will change that. I don't like their mindset and nothing will change that. Thailand is not for everyone.

It seems a shame to waste the other 6 months on my Visa though, and so I am seeking advice from those who have come before me, about what they would do in my situation.

I get 5 matches a day even with that photo. I'm just finding it tough to keep them interested from there.

For some insight into their intellect, you have to see a picture of their room…..it will mostly be a combination of colours from a dollhouse….pink, blue, yellow….japanese toys, teddy bears, stuffed toys, hello kittys…..and then you realise that this a 28 year old woman's room!!!

Bottom line…..these are kids in adult bodies….so have your fun…..but don't expect any strong connections beyond sex and her expecting you will take care of her every need including her useless family.

Of course, there are exceptions and you will see that for yourself when they surface.

The problems are not getting thai women but keeping them away.

Another tactic: Instead of being soft, romantic and sensitive like western girls want their men to be, focus on being a good friend to thai girls…..be playfully risqué (Thai girls have a word for it: Thalung), attentive yet a tad aloof, fun, make them laugh all the time, learn the art of cunnilingus and g-spot manipulation to make them squirt….then you will be on here complaining that they never leave you alone.

Cheers.

Haha yeah, you know your stuff. I speak 2 languages - English and cutesy Asian girl LINE speak.

As I was thinking out loud earlier, perhaps Shanghai, Buenos Aires, or even Budapest would be more my speed, since I am ultimately looking for more than just fun.

Even the horniest thai woman will NOT make the first move…it really is up to the man…they have told me this.

They like men with the guts to come up and say hello…yes, hello…that is all you need in terms of game.

Then invite them out…and go slow….unless she's a ho…which I gather you don't like.

If they bring a friend on a date, bail immediately.

Don't take any shit…and nip any gold digging behaviour in the bud by removing yourself from the situation pronto.

I would say good luck but you don't need any luck with these gals….just focus on the one you like and get in there.

Theres an old saying…any idiot can get a girl to fall in love with him…but it takes a a smart man to get a woman out of his life.

Cheers.

Spot on.

I remember 20+ years ago, on my first tour... I was young lad and everything changed when I learned a few simple things.

1. You have to make the move with Thai women. Being a little aggressive is OK. I dont mean physically. And in the beginning polite and well-dressed and well groomed is EXTREMELY important. Then keep asking girls out. You will have a list of names in no time.

If you want to take it to the next level, after some food and maybe a few dates ... it is not difficult. They will follow you. Be discreet and take care of them. You can have more action than you can imagine. But it all starts with making the first move and being in charge.

2. Follow on to point 1 is that Thai women are one way in public but very often they are completely different once the door is closed and you are alone. I mean sex of course. This can go both ways. I have known so many wild ones, tons of fun and surprises, and more than a few disappointments and a couple that left me scratching my head wondering...

3. To clarify... coming from a western background I was always looking for consensual clarity. Once I started with the assumption that if I got their number they wanted me to call. And if we met then they wanted to see me. If we were alone then they wanted to be alone. Keep going with that. If you ask for permission it is confusing for them. If they want you to stop they will tell you so. It will be more than "No" which does not mean stop. It usually means "don't stop"!

4. I used to play games ... like taking the skytrain home ... I would play the pick up game. Just a little challenge I liked to undertake to pass the time. More than once I met a girl who left the train with me and was in bed in hours.

5. There are a few classifications of girls who I found to be a waste of time or massive headaches and not worth it. The first are girls who work in the beauty sections selling cosmetics in department stores. (Not katoeys). Overall the young ones who are good looking tend to be a lot like another group - prettys or girls who do some kind of modeling or selling or promoting of products. These are high maintenance and often a pain in the ass.

The key all starts when you realize you have to take what you want, not ask for it.

Ok I'll consider giving Bangkok another go, for a few weeks, and try to have a different mindset. I guess I am looking for consensual clarity and instead I'm getting what seems like coldness/lack of interest.

Try using a photo with a smile.....You look pissed off in that one....Thai folk love a smile....

I understand I have "smile issues" and it's a big deal here, but the issue is not lack of matches... I get 5 matches a day even with that photo. I'm just finding it tough to keep them interested from there.

Part of it may be confidence issues INITIALLY - I'm shy about approaching someone at Big C and have never done that kind of thing, but I'm a great conversationalist once I get them out for dinner, which is why I'm using the dating apps. Maybe Thailand is just not the best place for a serious artist who loves deep conversation about film, literature, and global affairs?

The Khmer girls were much more receptive to my interest in their lives and issues. And even in Hong Kong I had beautiful office ladies openly flirting with me on the subway. So what I'm getting from all this is that my chemistry is not mixing with Thai women for whatever reason.

So let me ask this: If you were a urban photographer who planned to stay abroad for a few years and hopefully find love or at least interesting experiences, where would you go next?

Chaing Mai? Pattaya (short-term)? Shanghai? Eastern Europe?

Coming to Bangkok was my first time abroad, BTW.

Not a ton, but I've had some successful long-term relationships. Enough for me to know that it is possible.

I tried the bar scene recently and found the price high and the service lousy. I'm 33, so I would have to spend 2,000 - 4,000 baht 3 - 5 times a week to be satisfied. I loved the bar scene in Cambodia, where I was popular and the prices were affordable, but Bangkok seems a little too high for long-term accommodation.

2000-4000 baht....You are paying tourist prices.......

If you are looking for long lasting companionship you won't find it in those bars....

Travel , move around, and one day you will find it unexpectedly.....There is a saying in my country "only trees and mountains never meet each-other..."

Food for taught....!!

Best of luck.....

I'm adding in cost of drinks plus barfine. I know it's a little cheaper if you get some "regulars" but I'm also a long-time type of guy.

Try this pic... Might help. No need to talk then..ImageUploadedByThaivisa Connect1457369787.544711.jpg

Not bad looking no smile though and you seem to have a chip on the one shoulder. Your lucky you got some really good advice from what I can see usually the guys will take a strip off of the person posting your type of inquiry. Get a mirror practice smiling. Us old fat farts get the babes because we are retired here and not here for a 90 day Italian holiday. They like us steady Eddies and I see you like to come and go a lot. If they care they can be very jealous and suspicious. The nip any gold diggers in the bud is good advice. The culture here is sometimes hard to understand. I had one girl staying with me and the phone rang it was her mother in the hospital with a gall bladder operation. In ten minutes she had her bags packed and out the door never saw her again. Looking back now I am glad she did. If you go at this with a basic needs attitude well Soi Cowboy is the place for you.

And to clarify I have a 1 year visa - I just have to cross the border every 90 days. I would be open to getting another Visa if I found myself with good relationships to stay for. I am not looking for a fling, and I always make that clear to the women.

Anyway thanks to those who have tried to help. Things just haven't worked out and I'm still not sure why. Maybe I'm just too weird for Thailand - but how is that possible?

Meeting women in bangkok is like falling off a log. It is too easy.I have met them trying to jaywalk at the same place and slept with her the next night. When I lived in Bangkok I met women all day. Could have dinner every night with a new women. I think maybe you should just get outside and meet them. Easy at Big C or any mall.At an eatery,just about any where you go. Bars are the worst places. Ice cream parlours,coffee shops just about any were. Just smile and make eye contact and be friendly too easy.Bangkok women are receptive to meeting new men.

Don't buy into that silly nonsense, its not easy at all. It sounds like you need to be a bit more patient. You can meet women if you want but I don't think they are the sort you really want to meet unless you think with a certain part of your anatomy like some apparently do. I would suggest spend a few years improving your Thai and broadening your social circles. It's generally who you know and their friends that make the difference. I think you need to take your time. Any fool can find a woman here but finding one that's right for you takes time.

I guess that may be the issue. I'm not sure I want to patiently practice Thai for years, when I'm not even sure if I want to spend another 6 months here. I had always heard that if you were a lonely western guy with a bit of money then Thailand was the place to be. I guess maybe that logic only applies to short-term bar-scene visits.

I cant handle Bangkok, just generally stressed when I am there, especially constantly playing Frogger as a pedestrian

How much of you being down is really about the city itself

I love the city. Great street photo and architecture ops here. Just wish I had someone to enjoy it with.

^^^ You are a photographer but don't know how to take a portrait? You don't know that the wide angle lens you are using distorts your face including making your nose look big? The yellow light makes you look sickly.

I have a hunch that you are better looking than that photo, but if you're using dating sites you need to find a photographer.

Cheers.

I use that photo (and others like it) because I think it's a realistic representation of how I actually look in the daily life. I have used only good portraits taken by myself before, and you know what I got? A bunch of girls who were disappointed when they actually met me. The old "You looked better in the photos" kind of deal.

Try this pic... Might help. No need to talk then..ImageUploadedByThaivisa Connect1457369787.544711.jpg

Ok so the issue is I'm dark and don't smile enough. I've gotten that before - fair enough. But all of my dating matches looked at that same photo and hit "like"

Op could we have your photo to have a better understanding of the situation.

It's a good idea if you open with the line can I take your photo.. Then you will know if you are interested in the same things.

Yes I'm flawed, but I see plenty of guys looking similar that have decent Thai women with them. Surely they are not all bar girls.

And yeah, I generally use the photography thing as a ice breaker. It's partially to meet new women and partially because I actually am recruiting new models, and I'm amazed at how many of them say no.