imlee

ok have done as said and posted on issan thread but have a question or two left:

dowry....quick version me and boyf are paying as much money as we can get together between us as parents have not so much and still have very young son at home, BUT i want to know about the dowry understand it is usually paid and stuff but for what reason? like to keep things normal and to cover our asses on some money after the wedding is it better for me to have one, however little?

2) what about clothing requirements of guests, i've just said conservative and we are going to the wat not having monks coming to the house so have said conservative, no heaving cleavages, short skirts and that sort of thing but don't know really - anything about colours and stuff?

3)do i have to have white/cream wedding dress (western style one) as think it's a little bit of a lie (the whole virginal thing) and wouldn't do it in england but then i'm not so want to know.

cheers.

Congratulations!

I also get married in Issan to a beautiful thai boy in May, the 6th month of the old thai calendar.

1)I have been reading up on the ceremony and obviously have quizzed him on stuff, what I thought i would ask about was the dowry....is it only a financially important thing to care for the future life of the two getting married or is there a luck and prosperous thing attached to it as well?

I ask as his parents are farmers have a very young son and are not so young themselves and as much as they will help us and take care of us in terms of support and being free to live in their house for them to help out in the looking after our future child and so on...have very little money and we are actually putting in to the ceremony ourselves and I had sort of assumed that a dowry wouldn't part of the whole bargain!! OK I expect a present as I know his mum has been asking what to get, but feel as a girl who's western and therefore equal to a boy that we can take on the responsibility of marrying ourselves, if it's a future luck thing though I want one......................sorry I type fast and can say alot very quickly, and have very few people to talk to in english about this so it sort of flows out of my fingers!

2)also before i read on the ceremony i said that i wouldn't wear white as i felt it to be a little bit of lie as i am not marrying as a virgin! but again is this really essential? as obviously want to do everything properly.

and 3) in terms of foreign ladies and gents attending is there any particular clothing requirements for guests? i've said conservastism is good and because we will be going to the watt obviously under the knee, shoulders covered, no huge cleavages showing and so on....but is there anything specific, bad colours or so on??

thank you all. and congrats on your upcoming marraige!!!!!!! hope you enjoy it.....you're getting married after songkran??

boo thank you muchly. true to be said he is marrying me because i am piset le gore mai pokity leuy! and him the same.

does that mean with non-imm o visa i still require work permits same as i would if not married, and pay the same?

if anyone can answer further in regard to affirmation of freedom to marry, as i have checked embassy site and it doesnt actually tell me how i prove it if i have not previously been married(as i can then provide divorce papers or death cert) then i shall be very grateful.

any other info would be grand, nice to get real info rather than the 'it's a sham and he's taking you for a ride' answer that i got in the bangkok post forum from some very disgruntled farang boy....no wonder his posting name was ian beale!

ouyt of interest is there any farange girl out there who got married in issan? if so i've been trying to research trad weddings as i want to try to keep things as 'normal' as poss (for want of a better word you understand). cheers.

apoligies if repeated info, but between farang girls and thai ones i hope that a few questions can be answered...

I get married to a beautiful boy in about 3 and a hlf months or less now(!) and find it very hard to get info on legalities after marriage as most info i read is about farang boys and thai girls:

if i take my husbands name and we do everything properly register to the amphur office and go via the embassy to affirm that i am not previously married, what happens in regard to:

1) making of work permits and visas post marriage? as i am to beleive in thai culture it is my husbands respobility to take care of me financially

2) do i take on a naturalised thai identity as I then will have his nam sukon, surname?

3) i believe that we could open a family business and that the payments received by the gov in terms of tax and stuff would be the same as if we were both actually of thai nationality is this true?

4) what do the thai gov say about dual citizenship? i know that the english gov will still consider me to be brit citizen but they require i check that the gov of the country i am marrying into doesn't mind and does not require me to choose one over the other....and if so does this mean that i cannot take Lam's surname?

5) how do i affirm that i have been previously married? and does this have to be done before the wedding?

6) in my good understanding of thai culture i still wonder what things i am still clueless about in regard to the responsibilites of a good wife? not asking you to know my knowledge but most important traits and weirdities explained would be welcomed.

7) thai marriage laws and females rights/responsibilities and those of the male? this is a long one but hard to get info on, like i know as a woman it would take me two years to apply for divorce and that a male is not considered as adulterous and divorcable until he treats an amorous affair with equality to his wife............trying not to look at divorce here but info found has all been on the negative, boys all over the place seemed to have picked the wrong partner, it happens, and say that you must have a prenup, i would just like to be prepared on the laws of a country i do not as yet belong to.

8) do i as having thai name therefore become able to put names on everything house, land and company in equal names? 50/50? i believe that a thai female loses her right to buy land and property once she has married a farang boy.

sorry for it's lengthy-ness but first time i've posed all questions to somewhere that may be able to give me all answers. we want to the best thing by both of us and our future family so need to know where we stand before informing the gov of anything!!

we have also sent Lam's father to talk to the amphur office but would just like to ask others who may have gone there already and aren't a governmental source.

thank you.