MishaMagic

It was on this thread Boo (which for some reason has been resurrected from the dead, or at least p4...) and I thought it was quite a good idea.

Actually, mishamagic resurrected this thread to specifically attack my post. Not sure what motivation this person gets from being personally abusive but, hey, different strokes for different folks I guess.

As for the idea that somehow taking your partners name (or not) has something to do with giving up ones independence or free will, well, I guess again, that would depend on the person, wouldn't it?

I posted earlier, I believe, that one of the reasons I took my husband's name is because my maiden name is 1) nearly impossible for Thai people to pronounce properly and 2) when they do pronounce it it is a particularly nasty kind of ghost. When I found this out it explained the many strange looks I received when travellling Thailand as a single woman.

Well, hello lovely people, so nice to hear you talking about me so much!!!

I would like to make some things clear here.

Firstly SBK.- I repeat that I have made no post about a former girlfriend

I did not join this thread to attack anyones post but to put an alternative viewpoint across, and at no time have I criticised anyone's precious relationship or stated that mine are better than theirs, in fact I have gone out of my way to mention that I totally respect others relationships, however I am simply presenting the idea that there is more than one way to do it!!!

That all relationships are formed on the basis of compromise is simply a widely held western view, not a guiding law of the universe, and I know plenty of people who think differently.

Its really a pity that you girls set up a forum for discussion, and only want to defend your viewpoints, rather than keeping an open mind to new ideas.

And yes HarryHerb, I find this "yours is better than mine" really teenage!

And yes, I may be loopy (better than fridgidly conservative) but I am not abusive in any way.

You girls really gotta get out more and stop taking things so personally.

Since you asked so politely, I am 36, female and heterosexual, but if I was bi does that mean that I have no right to speak? Are you really that bigotted?

My whinge about my last boyfried was not about this issue at all, it was about honesty of expression.

I am not lecturing anyone on how to live their lives or relationships, I am simply suggesting that there are other ways to do it, and I find it interesting that you are so defensive about your way.

Do you think that succeeding in maintaining one relationship over a long time means that you know more about it than someone who has had many different styles and types of relationships? I do not consider a longer relationship to be more "successful" than a shorter one. I am interested in quality, not quantity.

I have enjoyed many different types of relationships over the last 20 years in several different countries (and cultures), and each one has taught me many new things and contributed to my growth as a person.

However, I would never pressure someone I love, (or even someone I don't) to compromise their own wishes for the sake of mine. Therefore I don't accept it in return.

In this life we are given free will, and this is our birthright. To consider someone giving that up for you as a sign of love is something I find very, very common and very sick.

Love is unconditional.

Are you really so unaware of the numerous trolls that have enjoyed posting on this forum to make me wonder why you would post about an ex boyfriend in one thread and a former girlfriend in another? You do not know me so I suggest refraining from accusing me of bigotry, think before posting.

As for the defensive remark! Well, lets see, you quote my post, pick it apart point by point and then accuse me of being defensive when I refute you!

You make alot of assumptions about me and my relationship when you don't even know me, know nothing about me and assume what you wish based on your own past experiences.

I suggest that you think twice before posting such twaddle about another member. Quality not quantity my foot. What the heck do you know about me? Nothing.

I suggest an apology would be more forthcoming for posting such misguided drivel about someone you KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

Do I sound offended? Good. Because you have overstepped the mark.

Usually the sure sign of a troll, btw.

I have made no post about a former girlfriend

Mishamagic, I see where you are coming from, but why do you believe independence and compromise to be mutually exclusive?

To me, this just makes no sense.

What do you define as 'compromise'? What is a deal breaker for you?

These are dull platitudes, but I'll repeat them anyway: 'life is full of compromises' and 'no man is an island'. But this does not preclude there being plenty of independent souls on the planet, who have a free mind and spirit, who have principles, are 'true to themselves' and, yes, have happy relationships with their friends, parents and partners that involve some compromise.

Indeed, a sure sign of a free mind and spirit is itself the ability to compromise. If you don't have this, then your independence means jacksh-t. It's easy to say no to everything, to walk away when you don't get your own way, to live in a bubble. True independence is hard won.

In the context of a relationship, how can you 'independently' love someone? Love means admitting a certain type of dependence on another person. But this in itself can be 'empowering' (to use a psychobabble phrase) and it certainly doesn't mean sacrificing your free will.

Even in the ideal relationship you posit earlier there is some element of sharing, working together towards a common goal etc. Indeed, compromise must necessarily be the basis of any monogamous relationship, as you are forsaking at least sexual freedom for your partner. Making sacrifices to be with someone does not entail losing your independence or free will - unless of course those sacrifices have been enforced on you against your will.

I agree that people - not just in the west - are overly reliant on material props for a (usually imaginary) fulfilled existence, but to say that finding fulfillment through relations of dependency on and with other people, exchange of ideas, love etc. is wrong is, frankly, a sure way to die lonely.

Thanks HarryHerb, I think I need to untangle this compromise word......

If I want to see one movie, and my partner another one, we can choose to see different movies (something most couples hardly even consider, but it makes for great conversation over coffee after the movie) or one of us can "compromise".

If I'm not really attached to any movie, probably I'll just as likely go with what he wants, but if I really want to see a certain movie, and can't practically see it another time, I'll probably stick to that one, whether he comes along or not.

Enter stage left, my partner, best friend, sister, neighbour whining "nooooo, but come and see this one!!!!!!! even though you don't want to......do what we want you to doooooooooo, make us happy......and accompanying emotional blackmail "you never want to see what I want" "but I really want you tooooooo" and pulling of strings etc You get the picture.

Independence, in my way of seeing it, is being able to do what is important to you, whether or not your patner agrees/comes along/likes it or not. What is important, not every little whim and ego gratification.

If I choose to be in a monogamous relationship, for me the giving up of sexual freedom isn't a compromise, since when I am interested in a monogamous relationship, I am not interested in having sex with anyone else (I notice however from other threads that this is not true of everyone!!! ) So I am not compromising anything.

I don't need to walk away when I don't get my own way because I am never really interested in getting my own way. It doesn't really bother me what other people do. If my partner doesn't want to go on a holiday with me, I will go by myself, its no problem, and I will be faithful and have lots of stories to tell him when I get back. I think that's healthy. Most people find it confronting.

I don't see why loving someone creates dependency. Only if you do that kind of love which is thinking that the other person will make you happy/fulfill your needs/always be there for you etc, which seems to go hand in hand with fearing abandonment/can't live without/will be devastated by the end of the relationship stuff, and in that situation, people start compromising all kinds of things to keep the relationship going which results in a loss of integrity for everyone.

I prefer the kind of love which is about honouring the beauty, sacredness and uniqueness of another, and in that context, we can share experiences which are intimate and empowering. Yes including working together towards a common goal, exchanging ideas and learning from each other. How does that include dependence?

When people want me to do what they want, they usually bring up the compromise word

When people are confronted by my lack of dependence on them, they bring up the c word

When people belive that monogamous relationships mean becoming siamese twins, oh here comes that word again!!!

Help! Am I seriously hanging around the wrong people? But I honestly find that people really like it when you need them, it gives them power. The fact that I don't really need anyone (notwithstanding the economic/social structure of which I am a part - no I don't kill my own dinner!)

I like to share with other people, but I don't need to, is something that seems to make people nervous. And then that word comes in again.

Oh hel_l, where is that island again???

Consciousness means that

What about: I am conscious that the mind is willing but the flesh is weak.

Uuuuuuummmmm........does your body really act without you?........really?.........that could be dangerous you know....... maybe you shouldn't drive a car.........

Free from the influence, guidance, or control of another or others; self-reliant: an independent mind.

So, you are saying you are completely uninfluenced by your partner or your parent or your sibling? Really?

And in particular ideas like "fulfill some part of oneself that may be lacking" is something I find really dangerous and the basis of all co-dependence (considered very unhealthy even by the medical profession)

Did I imply being co-dependant? Somehow you choose to twist my words around to fit your own preconceived notions. My parents have been married for over 35 years and both of them find something in the other --Dad relies on Mom to keep him grounded, from getting too easily depressed. Mom relies on Dad to keep her from focusing on the little details. Somehow, that doesn't sound like co-dependance to me but rather helping. Since you have already posted in previous threads about relationship issues (ie ex boyfriend, previous girlfriend, what are you? male or female or just bi?) then you are probably not one to be lecturing others on how to live their lives or their relationships.

What I strongly react to is broad statements like "relationships require compromise on the behalf of both partners" Really? Are you sure? What if there was another way? Do you compromise in all your relationships, friendships, family etc, or only with your spouse?

Compromise, as boo has pointed out, is involved in every relationship a person has, whether their lover, their parent or the mechanic. If a person can't figure that out then they must be either very young or very self-centered.

Let me also point out that I am talking about a cross-cultural relationship. Which, in my many years of observations, fail when either one of both people involved are too selfish to meet halfway. There is always give and take in a relationship.

Since you asked so politely, I am 36, female and heterosexual, but if I was bi does that mean that I have no right to speak? Are you really that bigotted?

My whinge about my last boyfried was not about this issue at all, it was about honesty of expression.

I am not lecturing anyone on how to live their lives or relationships, I am simply suggesting that there are other ways to do it, and I find it interesting that you are so defensive about your way.

Do you think that succeeding in maintaining one relationship over a long time means that you know more about it than someone who has had many different styles and types of relationships? I do not consider a longer relationship to be more "successful" than a shorter one. I am interested in quality, not quantity.

I have enjoyed many different types of relationships over the last 20 years in several different countries (and cultures), and each one has taught me many new things and contributed to my growth as a person.

However, I would never pressure someone I love, (or even someone I don't) to compromise their own wishes for the sake of mine. Therefore I don't accept it in return.

In this life we are given free will, and this is our birthright. To consider someone giving that up for you as a sign of love is something I find very, very common and very sick.

Love is unconditional.

Gee, am I being too simple here???

Yes, you are.

People aren't perfect, and do occasionally stupid things they know they shouldn't do, and do suffer for them one way or the other. Relationships are not just about being in happyland, but also about overcoming difficulties, dealing with all sorts of hurt, and forgiving mistakes and weaknesses of the partner. That's what's called being human.

I guess, one day we will all day be so old that cheating will physically not be possible anymore, or simply too much effort. And then, looking back having overcome those sort of difficulties will be far more important than the actual acts of stupidity themselves.

Sure, overcoming difficulties, forgiving mistakes of course. What bothers me is the lack of consciousness Consciousness means that your mind and body are in the same place at the same time, the left hand knows what the right hand is doing, the brain knows what the genitals are doing. I hope that one day we are all so conscious that our mistakes are genuine mistakes and not a state of mental denial which only serves the ego. But then, I am not really interested in humans, only Enlightened Beings!!!

its JUST a name after all. its not your whole being!

wow.

if i were married, i would love to take on my husbands name (providing it wasnt something like kebab, which would sound pretty silly really). i see it as a very special gift for your husband.

having said that, i have a cousin called Laurie Nutt. He married a girl called Hazel and guess what? she DID change her name! i think i would have left that one well alone.......

In that situation, even I would have been tempted!!!

People compromise in ALL their relationships all the time, most of the time your not even conscious of doing it & to say that you don't means you are either blinkered or 100% selfish! Also to be truely independant means that you hunt & kill your own food, produce your own dwelling & power/heat source, divine for your own water, walk everywhere or make your own original transport. Make you own opinions & never change them even in the face of proof or logic. Are you saying that no one does anything for you or you don't need anyone to help you with anything? Can you fix electric, install a kitchen, fix your car, cook a roast? WOW, you must be superwomen!

No, you're talking about autonomous, or a self-sufficient lifestyle.

in·de·pen·dent ( P ) Pronunciation Key (nd-pndnt)

adj.

Not governed by a foreign power; self-governing.

Free from the influence, guidance, or control of another or others; self-reliant: an independent mind.

Not determined or influenced by someone or something else; not contingent: a decision independent of the outcome of the study.

I am a total sceptic and firmly believe(d) all this was hocum and for those of a superstitious and, quite honestly, weak mind.. My Dad is hyper superstitious in the gypsey / romany kind of this is good and this brings bad luck but not really black magic.

Then I met my 1st Thai wife, fell very very heavily for her and lived together insanely happily with both of us being devoted to each other in a way that 99.9% of couples never are, total love at first sight and never looked at another woman while with her.

She believed strongly in this (as did some of her friends who spent money on spells and consultations)... One day I was winding her up and joking about how she said of a girl that had cast a love spell on someone etc, I was saying anything like this only worked on those that were stupid enough to believe it and to be honest mocking her a little, when she replied "Well it worked on you didnt it" that kinda shut me up...

Anyway in late 2003 she became ill and Doctors were not doing much good, she was told that someone had died in the house and wanted to see a particular witch doc on the North of the Island.. To humour her we went up there and met this strange fat little gay guy with his tiny effeminate house boy (definate dom / sub thing happening).. I had been reluctant to go and made it clear that if he was going to perform a reading to give no hints etc (I knew a guy who used to run a Gypsy Rosa Lee type fortune stall and he was quite simply great at performing 'cold readings and bullshitting.. 90% of the time people tell you want they want you to tell them)..

Anyway he knew immediately that I was not ready to be pursuaded and insisted that I not be present while they performed the reading / whatever.. They go out back for an hour or so and when Kim came back she was going on about how this guy says there was a ghost needing exhorcism etc (surprise surprise).. Again totally skeptic on my part..

Day or two later the guy comes to the house, walks around and then has a 'turn' on the stairs and faints, puts on a palaver.. After this some pigs blood was used to write some things on the stops half way up our stairs. Again he states there was a violent death at that spot and spirits that were not at rest (this is not true but he obviously gleaned it from my girl and played it to the hilt)..

He told my girl we had to move house.. If we didnt he said she would be dead in 6 months. She died 5.5 months later.

What can you say ?? What can you think ??

I'm really sorry about your girlfriend.

After reading this thread, I felt like I should add a new perspective.

From what I have seen/heard around, there are a lot of conmen who use superstition/fear to rip people off by posing as voodoo/magic practitioners/witchdoctors whatever. These people are definately dangerous and shouldnt be trusted.

But there are also a lot of used car salesman in the world, who use all kinds of confidence tricks, fast talking including NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programing) and prey on peoples low self-esteem to rip them off. They also shouldn't be trusted.

But the existence of shonky used car salesmen doen't mean that cars don't exist.

And the existence of dodgy witchdoctors doesn't mean that magic doesn't exist either.

Over the past ten years I have followed a spiritual path that has moved through Buddhism, Native American Shamanic practices and Celtic Wicca (witchcraft) /Druidry. I have also studied many forms of "alternative" healing modalities such as Reiki, Kinesiology, Crystal therapy, Hypnosis and Cranio-Sacral balancing.

I can talk to "spirits"

I can feel pain in my body where my client has pain

I can feel disturbances in the energy of a house or place

I can tell when somebody is lying or not being true to themselves

I can open my awareness to receive information about a person's illness, relationship or job situation, and give them the advice I receive.

Luckily I have never had to tell somebody they are going to die soon.

And I know enough to know that anyone who uses magic to cast any kind of spell which interferes with another person's free will (including love spells) is dealing with heavy karma.

And I find it a pity that people are so sure about their own view of the world that they have to formulate an opinion about something before they have even experienced it. It is only by being open minded that we can learn anything new.

Mishamagic, relationships require compromise on the behalf of both partners. I think too many people enter into a relationship with the idea that by compromising they are somehow giving the other person control.

If one is unwilling to give up something of themselves, unwilling to compromise, meet halfway (and I mean both the man and the woman) then the relationship is doomed to failure. There are two people who are partners in a marriage, not two individuals each seeking their own ends. A partner in a serious relationship should complement oneself, fulfill some part of oneself that may be lacking, if a person is so independent that they can't rely on their partner then that person will find themselves alone.

Compromise?......huh?......gee I thought it was about enjoying each others company.........lacking in oneself?..........uh, I'll have to get back to you on that one

And what do you do during difficult times when you don't particularly "enjoy each others company"? Get a divorce, chuck it all in and say "well, this isn't fun anymore, why bother?" ??

BTW, I have been happily married for over 16 years so I might have a pretty decent persective on what makes a relationship work. Esp a cross cultural one.

What do you do with a long-term friend when you don't hit it off so well, and don't "enjoy each others company"? You take some space, give it room to breathe, let the dust settle, and come back together later when the feelings have cleared, and also, if necessary, discuss your feelings in a mature and respectful way, listen to each other, agree to disagree, and then laugh about it afterwards over a beer.

I'm really sure that after 16 years in a relationship you have a very good idea about what it takes to make your relationship work, and I completely respect that, but that doesn't mean that your way is the only way, or the "right" way.

What I strongly react to is broad statements like "relationships require compromise on the behalf of both partners" Really? Are you sure? What if there was another way? Do you compromise in all your relationships, friendships, family etc, or only with your spouse?

And in particular ideas like "fulfill some part of oneself that may be lacking" is something I find really dangerous and the basis of all co-dependence (considered very unhealthy even by the medical profession)

Buddhism, Taoism, and most eastern as well as new age streams of thinking clearly explain that no one and nothing that is outside of you can ever fulfill any part of you which may be lacking, that those answers are only found within.

The main psychosis of the western world is expecting external things like your job, your money and your partner to make you happy/complete yourself/fulfill your needs.

"Independent" Yes, definately. We are only dependent on others while we are still children.

Affection in public is fine as long as its not overboard and of course varies on the environment you are in. Club/Disco with alcohol involved - dare say you'll fine a lot of affection being spread around.

100%agree, showing some little affection in public is one, overdoing it is anotherone, thinking about it, this is not a bad education, afterall, bak in Europe, I've seen teenagers getting laid on the club's sofas and I'm telling you, even though im in y late 20's, I can't say that watching a live porn while while having my drink was exactly what I had in mind when I first came in

Europeans should learn something out of it...

Really??? Which clubs???

I'm curious to hear from cheaters, since I haven't done it myself, what goes through your mind while you are cheating????

Or is your mind completely absent?

Are you really capable of being so overcome by desire, that you completely forget about your relationship/marriage, and can think of nothing else but your immediate physical gratification?

Wow, I must be missing something in the desire department.

I'm not talking about honesty, or faithfullness or even morals here, I'm talking about consciousness

Or does your mind (sabotage/dark side/inner teenager) manage to convince you that it doesn't matter, won't hurt anyone, its just a little fling, everyone does it or all manner of other justifications, or does alcohol or drugs dull your senses and make it easier to fall into "no-brain" mode???

If you wanna play around, why enter into a monogamous relationship?

If you aren't happy with your partner anymore, why not leave them?

Gee, am I being too simple here???

This is not just about Thai guys, its about people full stop. My last boyfriend did a disappearing act on me after we had only been separated for 5 weeks (in a "serious" "committed" relationship), after we both holidayed together in Australia, and he returned to Amsterdam 5 weeks ahead of me, while I stayed to visit family. When we parted it all seemed fine, and he was going to miss me so much, but by the time I arrived he was uncontactable, was "too busy" to see me when I finally did get him on the phone, and of course had started seeing someone else within the two days that I was on the ###### plane. That a relationship ends is one thing, but that people can't be honest enough to just say that they are no longer interested is really a pity. Spineless.......gutless.........oh, but he did stop in Thailand on the way over, so maybe it is actually a Thai thing??????

Mishamagic, relationships require compromise on the behalf of both partners. I think too many people enter into a relationship with the idea that by compromising they are somehow giving the other person control.

If one is unwilling to give up something of themselves, unwilling to compromise, meet halfway (and I mean both the man and the woman) then the relationship is doomed to failure. There are two people who are partners in a marriage, not two individuals each seeking their own ends. A partner in a serious relationship should complement oneself, fulfill some part of oneself that may be lacking, if a person is so independent that they can't rely on their partner then that person will find themselves alone.

Compromise?......huh?......gee I thought it was about enjoying each others company.........lacking in oneself?..........uh, I'll have to get back to you on that one

Is an age gap better for a less serious relationship or the other way around? Do you want a relationship with someone who you have gaps with, like PB and myself? I hope I am making sense.

Some people say "age is unimportant", others say it is important in a relationship. Both are true. When you have met someone you love, age difference does affect the relationship in various ways. However, I think it is not a factor to use before getting into a relationship. Therefore, age is not important in meeting someone - I wouldn't say "I am looking for a partner aged between xx and yy". But once in a relationship, the age difference, or lack thereof, is a factor in the conversations you have, the misunderstandings, etc.

I feel I know what I want to say but haven't said it very clearly

I didn't say that a person makes a decision " I want a fling so where are the 20 year olds." I am saying do you find a pattern, after the fact? Much more psychological.

Well, its good to hear that its working for you. Unfortunately my experience with a seven years younger bf turned out to prove the critics true - I did feel like his mother most of the time, and despite finding him energetic, fun and spontaneous, he was also immature and emotionally demanding. Then he went on a holiday in Thailand, fell in "love" with a local girl who after only knowing him for 5 days was begging him to take her back to Europe, and I realised that he was indeed way too young for me.

I have to say that I am now very attracted to men my age. xxx

Well Im not sure I will answer this correctly either, but I figure I should put my two cents in since I am an older female that prefers dating younger men. Some would jump to the conclusion, that I am going through a mid life crisis. Nothing could be further from the truth, I am a very level headed woman that is not looking to relive my youth. There are many myths involved with the older women/ younger men relationship. Such as, he is looking for a mother or she can't accept the fact she is no longer twenty. For me, whether it be a short term or long term relationship is of no consequence to me. I find that I am just attracted to what a younger man brings to the table in regards to openmindedness and lack of emotional baggage. I believe that younger men that date older women are attracted to the same thing. I have not found a man my age that I can truely relate to. Most are very set in their ways and can be intimidated by a independent intelligent woman. Im not lumping all men in this catagory and I certainly don't wish to offend anyone. This has just been my experience. I just thought i'd through my perspective into the mix...

Thanks for all the interesting replies.

So I guess it comes down to personal choice. It seems like more and more women (in the UK at least) are keeping their maiden names, perhaps because they are marrying later in life and already have an established identity at work or whatever. Or, actually worse (to me), many of my friends seem to be going down the unwieldy and rather ugly double-barrelled route - which would be a total disaster with most Thai-English combinations!

It's a tough one. Changing names does seem logically to follow marriage (after all if you're accepting one archaic institution, why not the other? )

On the other hand, as Totster says, these days perhaps it's not that important - marriage in my case will be for convenience, rather than any belief in a piece of paper (relationship is solid enough without it - and if I'm wrong a piece of paper won't help us either) - and surely you can love and respect your husband without taking his name? sbk and boo, even you admit that if your hubbies had had unpronouncable, super-long surnames you would have thought twice...

Did your husbands have any views on the matter? Changing names effectively marks you out as belonging to him - it's a public display of committment over and above the marriage certificate that, personally, I don't think is necessary.

Hi ladies! Here's a single girls opinion, for what its worth.....

I'm not sure how taking your husband's name is a sign of "respect" for him.....what about "respect" for yourself and your own identity? Naming is a powerful thing,.....and yes under marriage it has been used for many years to convey the idea of 'ownership' of a wife, which I find very inappropriate in modern culture. I also view marriage as a powerful and sacred ritual, (rather than an archaeic institution) and while I am sure that I will marry when I find an appropriate partner, I will be marrying my husband, not becoming him. I changed my own name recently via legal proceedure (very easy to do in Australia) simply because I am no longer the child who my parents named, but rather my own self-made person complete with my own taste, personality and self-expression. I don't think that you have to be famous to care about your established identity. And to me, a public display of committment isn't about giving up your identity for someone, its about showing the world an equal, conscious and empowered relationship based on mutual respect and individuality working together to create a unified partnership. Maybe that's why I'm still single??????

I have an Aussie bank account with a "community bank" which I opened about 5 yrs ago - with a deposit of a few thousand dollars. I opened the account as it was touted as a bank for the people who were sick of high fees for nothing.

Actually, I don't touch the account and just leave it for emergency - which has never come up. Just recently, I noticed on a statement that the "community bank" has charged me a $24 "dormancy" fee for not using my account. And they want a 2 % transaction fee for any withdrawal outside the country.

This bank earns interest off my cash and I don't see any difference in my balance over the last 4 yrs (low interest earning). What kinda bank is this? (Bendigo, by the way!) Can any Aussies advise on where to place my emergency cash without the "community benefits"?

Most of the Australian banks have internet saving accounts now, since Ing Bank started it....they all offer 5-6% interest on amounts over $5,000 and are linked to an Australian savings account, so you earn a good interest, and may only need to transfer your money around a bit to keep the savings account active, which you can do online. I live in Amsterdam and have been keeping my money in a Netbank saver with Commonwealth bank, which is linked to my Streamline account (savings) which doesn't have any account keeping fees.

Its worth trying Ing Bank Online (Australia) as well, I think they will send you out the forms in the mail. Good luck!

since I am in Thailand I get often Herpes. Would say all 2 month, always inside the nose.

Normaly I am 2(3) days tired and than the bubbles come, than after maybe 1 more day I feel well but have the itching bubbles inside the nose (great place).

So any cream does not work, because when the bubbles are here my immuno system is already taking care of it. Interesting would be something which helps me to not get it at all. But beside a diet I don't think there is something, or?

I get the feeling that you don't really like your job, and that you are getting sick because you don't really want to keep working so hard at it. I also feel like you have problems with confrontation or standing up for yourself with your boss, or someone else at work.

I don't know if you like boats or sailing, but I see you on a boat, which probably represents your desire for freedom and the chance to "go where the wind takes you".

It might also be interesting for you to take a look at what was happening in your life when you first started getting the herpes sores, that might give you a clue about the internal reason for your body to react in this way.

So that's my free psychic reading, please let me know if it is of any help to you.

Good luck!

Anyone know of dentist that do mercury free dentistry or remove amalagam fillings safely in thailand? Time to get the mercury out of me any help would be appreciated thanks

Hi Jeremiah,

I just did a search for the same thing and found this link

http://dreddyclinic.com/

They have a full mercury detox program in Chiang Mai

Good luck!!

Misha

xxxxxx