HVishalH

1 hour ago, sead said:

So im here 6 years and have been just like you are. Naive.. You just hope that what your guts are telling you aint true. Well it is. And when you start to come here more often you will soon master the game and hopefully find a better choice.

Thanks Saed. Good to hear.

13 hours ago, Crash999 said:

Don't try to get revenge on him by doing something to piss him off. You're just wasting your emotions and anger on someone who isn't worth it. Besides, in the future you likely will meet someone else and you won't want this guy suddenly swooping in with crazy stories and causing trouble.

Just say something like it's best for you both to stop contact as don't have any plans to come back to Thailand soon, and you lost your job so you don't have much money.  The second one should be very effective.

thanks thats a great idea. I work in the NHS so likely to be true soon with our present government or working for Branson on a low wage! I culd also blame Brexit

thank you so much everyone,

the advice has been helpful, i really appreciate the people that have replied.

Hi Luckily I am in The Uk so not much he can do to me, actually zilch. My only contact is through Facebook. I will cut all ties and he is going to be blocked.

I will add a little footnote. He has been telling me today about being in Pattaya and being scared and loving me and missing me.

Unfortunately for him he is a Stupid predator (its what shocked me in Thailand, he made absolutely no effort at all to pretend I mattered, which is why I have not given him money since) He has a friend on Facebook who is always posting herself live. so I had a look today on her page and there he is in Udon happily singing Karaoke. So the Pattaya thing was completely made up. I did believe it. None of you did! I am a ridiculous fool but it hasnt cost me  me very much.

I am going to block him and cut all ties. Tempted to do something to piss him off first, but may wait till I have blocked him and then send him a you are a **** message on line (he is my only Line friend). Wont do any good I know but.

You lot have been so good at replying. I am interested in any ideas. I do have a photo of his ID. I dont think it is criminal though what he has done but maybe it is. 

I know some people on here think I am making it up. I really am not. I thought I was being clever getting to know someone through the internet first, I do know the Sugar factory was true. He regularly used to video call me from there (to show me off to his friends).

If you want after it is done I will attach a picture of the <deleted> on here.

Nope, not made up, every word is true, you will notice to. I haven't given him money. Thanks for replying.  

Hello,

I am a Gay Brit. I decided to take a holiday to Thailand and before did a months trial of a dating forum to see what would happen and whether to meet someone (I did not want to  know how to meet Gay people outside of the sex scene places). I was amazed by the interest I got and whilst I originally intended someone my age I was taken by a guy 20 years younger than me, I am 48 (the looks 555). I understand poverty (I run a small charity in India with people that are often not eating poor), knew people who had gone to Thailand, went there in 1992 and I did try to research things but I was thoroughly unprepared. The man I chose did seem good, he had a job working in a sugar factory (for three months) and told me he had a better one lined up for the government. So I invited him to come on holiday with me and fitted the dates into his work contracts in April. There was some overlooked red flags, mainly him calling me his husband very quickly before we met despite my requests to him not to, and him pushing the relationship.

Once I was in Thailand it wasn't easy. It was very difficult for me to get him to do anything other than expensive trips (which he posted pictures of him on his own onto Facebook). His activities were watching the television, looking at Facebook, and talking to Thai. We did share the cooking, and of the 14 days we spent together he went out during the day with me three times. After the three nights in Bangkok, he also took to going out on his own every evening for 30-minutes to 2 hours, making it clear I was not invited. There was no romance either, whilst he did initiate sex (I didn't because I didn't feel he liked me) he would not kiss me. I also couldn't get him to talk to me and he didn't seem interested in improving my Thai or his English. I have tried to talk to him about these problems, he doesn't answer. 

Eventually he told me he has considerable debts to moneylenders, since coming back he has said he needs to pay them 7-9000 baht every month. He has also told me his dreams are of me buying him a house and car, and he is jealous of his friends who have a Westerner send them such money). As I didn't agree to send him the money every month,  (he didn't ask directly but it was clear). As I write this he is on a bus to Pattaya where he says he intends to work as a prostitute to earn the money he needs for furnishing his debt.

I am not sure what advice I need here as the relationship is clearly doomed unless I finance it way beyond what I am willing to, and the debt makes me more reluctant to finance it all. I don't have any prejudice against prostitutes, but have never considered dating one. I suppose I am sharing as people here don't know and I am a bit embarrassed as I got a lot of don't do its before I did. 

I do wonder how often this happens and how much of his behaviour is cultural, particularly the lack of romance, not wanting me to speak Thai,  and the clear second I was in his attention to his friends, television and phone. 

I would be interested in the opinions of people who know Thailand and particularly any Thai people. Also on how and when to end the relationship culturally speaking (I am concerned about his loss of face if I dumped him, though I dont really understand that concept).