somtamlao

3 minutes ago, ubonjoe said:

They are not normally all that strict if the damage is small.

Without seeing it I cannot really say whether you will have a problem or not.

Yeah, I understand. All the details are still legible, it's just there's damage to the actual bio-information page on the top corner. It's just a small crack in the page but tough to know whether that will prevent entry to the country. 

So I have got a flight booked to Thailand for August 2nd. I sent the passport to the Thai consulate in my country yesterday to get a tourist visa, and to my surprise, they called me up today and told me I'd be taking a huge risk because the bio-information/photo page on it is cracked slightly at the top. I have previously traveled to Thailand without an issue on what is a well-worn passport, but I'm not 100% sure if the cracked photo page was apparent on my last visit. 

The cost to renew quickly is quite high, however, the cost of denied entry to the country would be worse. What I'm wondering is how strict are Thai immigration on stuff like this? Is it worth the risk? 

58 minutes ago, OzMan said:

i enjoyed reading your post and found it honest. i am in a similar position. i have a PhD and am not interested in finding other clever, nerdy, people to talk with. I would prefer a lady who is fun, street smart, and with good people skills. Over the years I have met many people from eastern Europe who, although lacking a formal education due to lack of opportunity, were still smart. i do not look for education, but being smart, outgoing and adventorous. many Thai girls i chat with say i think too much, i should just flow with the situation. i think you should do the same.

My ex wife was a lawyer and both highly intelligent and well informed. she was a complete pain in the arse and i was pleased to dump her.

Do not get angry at the negative comments posted here as these people have a history of giving negative replies. take them as a laugh.

Cheers mate, I appreciate your reply. Don't worry, I'm not getting angry at the negative comments. I've lurked around thaivisa a bit in the past and noticed the types of people it attracts: some good people with constructive helpful advice, and some mouthy keyboard warriors who like to virtue signal at every chance. The latter get laughed at and felt sorry for while I'm very grateful for all of the former who've taken time from their day to post a reply. 

1 hour ago, AlexRich said:

Why would you go to Thailand and hook up with someone seven years older than you? A guy your age can attract much younger women, or at least those of the same age. If she’s worked in the massage industry she has most likely been prostituting herself. Added to that she is not able to communicate with you at the same intellectual level. What are you thinking?

I couldn't give a shit about her age, to be honest. It's not an absolute requirement for me to be with a younger woman or a woman of my age; your comment is bizarre. I've already acknowledged her past as a masseuse and the associations with that. So what; I got over it. What am I thinking? I'm thinking that she's a really nice person who is fun to be with.  

1 minute ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

First of all, thank you for teaching me a new expression.

 

Well, I am showing empathy towards the girl, not you, sorry.

 

Yes, the relationship is not going to work, but it is because of you. Thai women are simply not into deep discussions regarding Farang issues and this typically includes women from all social classes in Thailand. There are some Thai Visa posters that claim otherwise and I have no reason not to believe them, but they are in extreme minority. If your opening post was about your gf being lazy and poor I would say bro get the hell out. But she is apparently not. This is simply about you and your feelings. I am sorry, but nobody in Thailand cares about your feelings especially not some girl who grew up in poverty. If this bothers you, I strongly suggest you go back where you came from and find a woman from your own country. 

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1 minute ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

That was a fairer post. Thanks for your input anyway. And you are right: this is all about me and my feelings, I fully agree. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 minutes ago, faraday said:

Ok Somtamlao, my opinion.

 

You're not sure what love is anymore, & it looks like you're seeing your current relationship as some kind of business venture.

 

If you don't have that 'spark' with her, that love which binds people together, and you're concerned about the "intellectual difference', then, if it was me, I would not consider the relationship to be long term.

 

 

 

Thanks for expressing your honesty in a fair way. 

2 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

Sorry, but more arrogance from your part.

 

You didn't sacrifice anything. People do things because it benefits them. My guess is that your benefit is that you couldn't find a woman in your own country, so you chose Thailand. I could be also whining to my wife, look I am here with you, while I could be back in Canada, earning more money and more importantly not losing years of my Canadian residence and pension. Yeah.... she would send me packing.

 

Please, get over yourself.

Right, you are continuing to insult after a perfectly reasonable post. My guess is you are another virtue signaller who hates showing empathy or understanding for a situation and loves to merely insult randomers on the internet.

A suggestion for future posts: if you're not going to bother your lazy arse reading it properly without making assumptions, don't bother commenting. Anyway, have a good day. 

2 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

I am reading this waste of time essay and the OP strikes me as extremely arrogant.

 

 

You're entitled to your opinion, but I'm only going to set you straight once because you've felt the need to comment so angrily. Firstly. there is zero arrogance in my post; you mentioned you read it, but if you did, you'd note what I've written is the opposite of arrogance. I've recognized that my girlfriend has many qualities I admire while I have some interests and a different educational background to her that may cause issues down the line when we are older. It is not arrogant in the slightest to be honest about our respective upbringing and backgrounds.

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I will tell you that I did my best to integrate into Canadian culture. you have been coming to Thailand for 3 years. What have YOU done?

What I've done is I've sacrificed a potentially lucrative career in insurance to work online in a field of work in which I don't get paid much, just so I could be closer to my girlfriend and share my time between home and Thailand. What I also done was I spent 6 months abroad with her living in Thailand while my only surviving grandparent was sick, just so I could continue the relationship. 

The word integrate is a difficult word because by simply being there in Thailand with her, I'm doing more to become familiar with Thailand and its culture than Skyping her from home every day to continue a relationship. I'm not sure what else I could've done to "integrate" into Thai culture beyond attending a Thai language course, which I will admit is a regret of mine. But apart from that, I have socialized with her friends, eaten with her friends, tried asking questions about Thailand. 

2 minutes ago, IamRoach said:

Will post because we are of similar age and backgrounds I guess.

I'm 28 educated from a middle-class family, my girlfriend is 35 and we will have been together for 7 years this year of which about 2 years apart as I was still finishing my education in Europe. She is also from the North-East and went to Uni in KhonKaen but has primarily worked with family or herself over the last 15 years. When growing up her family was far from being rich neither were they dirtpoor and for all luxury items she worked and saved up herself to buy them e.g. stereo system, personal computer etc.

 

Her English was very limited but has improved a lot over the years by interacting with me every day. Like you I am also not able to have a highly intellectual conversation about global economics or the big bang theory and yes sometimes I also believe that  I am missing out a deeper meaning because of language and cultural differences. I can assure you that with many educated Thais even the ones that studied abroad you will not suddenly be able to have conversation about dark matter as the issue you are describing is mostly a cultural aspect and not one of educational background. What I get from our relationship are things i would not get from a relationship with a western lady and vice versa.

 

Hey,

Thanks for taking the time to reply. 

Your perspective is interesting and I note you are able to see the many positives the relationship brings to you.

See, my mind works in really quite negative ways as I have suffered from anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem for a long time. This causes me to believe that by having a Thai girlfriend and settling into the relationship, I'm taking the easy way out in life and simply getting a girlfriend in a country where any white man could find a woman. 

The problems lie with me, and I should probably get my anxiety and self-esteem problems sorted out but I've tried and failed to sort it many times. I wish I could think more positively but it's a struggle. 

7 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

This is either a very clever troll post, or a remarkably honest young man.  I'm assuming the latter - so here goes.

 

I've said this many times before on here - there are so many available girls in Thailand who are looking for a relationship (reading that as 'hoping someone will look after them and their extended family' - so you should aim for perfection.

 

If comparing to Western Girls, you can't aim so high, unless you have the looks and wealth of Brad Pitt, as highly attractive Western Girls who are also smart, balanced, kind, not in possession of a huge backside and good in the sack are so rare they do not appear on the open market.

 

But in Thailand the 'currency' of beauty has been devalued due to over supply, so you can have a choice of good looking girls who are neither overweight, crazy or have a high mileage.

 

So with that as the dating environment, ask yourself, do you feel lucky?  Like 'the luckiest man alive to be with her.   Do you wake up next to her in awe of her beauty, are you constantly surprised by her little acts of kindness, her wit, her creative attempts to make you happy?

 

I'd say a formal education is irrelevant - but is she smart?  A fast learner, willing to experience new ideas.

 

And can you communicate?  In your language, hers or a combo?

 

 

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Thanks for your reply. This is a genuine post, honestly. If I could link to my Facebook profile that has countless pics of us together without fear of doxxing or abuse, I would. But thanks for taking my word on it anyway. 

We can communicate but some things aren't possible, such as sarcasm. My humor is quite sarcastic but it's not possible with her so I use some of my more light-hearted silly humor. Some aspects of my sense of humor are quite dark too, but again, these subtleties are difficult to communicate when neither of us speak each other's language natively. 

I wouldn't say I feel like the luckiest man alive, no. She does do some ridiculously kind things, like cook me decent meals after she's worked a long day in the restaurant, or give me a shoulder massage if she sees me working hard on my computer. But I've never felt that luck you allude to.

2 minutes ago, TallGuyJohninBKK said:

 

I think most guys are are unlikely to end up with any Thai woman who's particularly intellectual in the western kind of way. Interest in politics, world affairs, philosophical debates, etc etc?  I think, generally not. Interest in cooking, food, clothes-fashion, Thai TV and soap operas, most likely YES!

 

Now, that might sound bad... But, what if that same person also was kind, good-hearted, honest, pleasant demeanor, family oriented, affectionate, maybe not book smart but Thailand life smart?  That might help even out the equation some. Of course, not all Thai women have those qualities. But if you can find one that does, can you get by with that and let the other things go?

 

 

Thanks for your reply. It's a toughie because right now I'm not sure if I can get by on that alone. My girlfriend has many good qualities that I admire, it's just that I see the continued language barrier and lack of intellectual compatability becoming more of an issue as we age. 

    

 

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1 minute ago, Hummin said:

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How can you with your sperior intellect ask about this in a forum like this? With your intellect, you shouldnt ask in first place! Or what? 

Because being book smart doesn't mean I have all the answers in life. 

 

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 I think nobody have the answer you looking for, because that have to come from you, and only you know

You're right about this, but I thought the point of a forum was to talk to other people, get their perspectives on situations, and learn about their experiences. I am naturally quite a pessimistic anxious person anyway so I'm wondering is it a case of the grass is always greener.