NoHabla

On 7/10/2018 at 11:04 PM, stud858 said:

Go to Homepro hardware store and find a nice girl in the hand tools department.  get a girl with a job she likes and is secure. Ask where she is from? It seems there a different mindsets depending on which part of Thailand they are from. 

If the girl seems to like you in discussion go for it.  Dont say, I like boom boom first off champ. Be a gentlemen as I'm sure you are.  Hehe

Good luck. 

No I am a good guy.  My ex-wife was really, really, really bad and I still treated her like part of the royal family for 7 years.

This girl is from Rayong, with an Esan background.  She works 6 days a week as an industrial cleaner.  She has a kid.  She does not want to live in America.  She really has nothing to gain by dating me.  She's attractive but she does not look like a go-go dancer.  She's dark brown.  She knows what my income is.  I really like her.  We're going to hang out more in person in January.

My disability pay is going to go up (pretty substantially), its just going to take time.  When I posted this, I was just kind of dismayed by the responses I was getting, like the poster said above, "Farang make 30k?  You mean 300k baht per month right?"

Anyways I have been going to Thailand for over 10 years and living on 30k baht in the right areas of Thailand IF YOU LIVE LIKE A THAI PERSON AND NOT LIKE A FOREIGNER is infinitely nicer than living on 30k baht at home.  Theres no argument there.  But like I said, VA and SS are going to raise me.  I am just in the whole administrative delay process right now.

On 7/11/2018 at 12:21 AM, HooHaa said:

I suggest you worry less about finding women and do something to improve your situation. If you can type, you can work.

Try explaining to any boss that you sleep for one hour every night and that is why you cannot be there in the morning and that you are in severe pain on opiates and that is why you cannot focus and that you need to use the toilet literally every 15 minutes.  I am tired of the BS i get from people, their hatred for the disabled.  Seriously dude, I do not want to be disabled, it is not nice.  If you hate us so much maybe you should get into Aktion T4 or something.  I'm done.  Go to hell.

1 hour ago, gk10002000 said:

If a valid well substantiated claim, the SSDI process is not that long.  I know people that are on it. Anyway, your post is so general and asking about types of women.  How old are you and how do you plan to retire in Thailand?  What sort of medical?  Being disabled, do you need constant regular care or treatment or facilities?  Marriage visa for long term?  Retirement extension if over 50?  Doesn't sound like you have money to pay for a an elite visa

When you have orthopaedic injuries and spinal/nerve issues it can be very very very long and problematic.  Especially when you throw the VA into the mix, which I already receive their benefits.  SS and the VA work together on disability claims and it creates a huge paperwork fiasco from the sounds of talking to my attorney.  Also I have new claims with the VA and it just sucks.  Trust me I've been dealing with this process for the last three years and it has been very very bad.  It took the VA a year and a half while I was still in uniform just to do my claim, and they got a diagnosis wrong, so one of my ratings is wrong, so its just a huge headache.  Trust me I wouldn't wish this kind of thing on my worse enemy.  Its not like a cancer claim where you can just say, hey, I have cancer, here's the lab work, or whatever.  Theres hundreds of pages of MRI reports, physical therapy, doctors visits, etc etc etc.  It is not fun.  Anyway I just take opioid therapy.  My care is pretty straightforward, I go to a clinic once a month where they screen me for recreational drugs, and if everything checks out, I get a new perscription.  There really isn't anything else anyone can do for me.  I've maxed out on physical therapy, surgery, chiropractors, accupuncture, rolfing, even chinese traditional medicine.  I have three bones in my spine that are pushing into my nerves and there's really nothing anyone can do about it other than give me medication.  If I get enrolled into any university in Bangkok my government will send me 56k baht and pay for my tuition ontop of what I am already getting.  I already have one bachelors degree so getting into another 4 year should be no problem at all.  Thats all I need to do.

I've pretty much nailed down what I am going to do.  I am going to enroll over at one of the local Universities and try to earn my second bachelors in Business English.  Definitely something to occupy my time with and I'll get damn good money for 3 and a half years from my educational benefits.  And a visa out of the deal.  This is what I should be focusing my time and energy on right now.

I am just different.  In my situation I am fine even living with in-laws.  In my view, the more people there are in a household, the more people there are to help out.  And money is less of an issue because it all goes into the same household anyway.  I've lived multi-generational for most of my life outside of the service, and its the normal living situation for me regardless.

8 minutes ago, timberpond said:

Imagine a Thai lady in her mid 30s having 2 failed marriage working in tesco supermarket living from paycheck to paycheck. You came along and offered 10k every 1st of the month... nothing more. You will be surprised how many takers there will be. Your clothes will be washed and dinner served on time. Many are so tired of uncertainty and wishing for stability in life. 

Or even just one failed marriage and trying to raise a kid on her own.  Many men don't want to commit to a relationship with preexisting children.

Just now, Get Real said:

To me that seems like a very strange disability check. You will get 30K baht for the rest of your life. Out of what I know theese kind of checks usually follow some kind of index rate, and will get bigger during the yoers according to the value of money in the country that is paying your check.

However, if this is not, and is going to be 30K baht when you are 40 years old, as well as 30K baht when your are 78-80 years old. Then I will guess that even a Thai woman understands that is not possible to live on 40 years later.

Well right, it does follow a COLA increase.  But its supposed to be worth the same 30 years from now as it is today, based on global markets and the cost of basic goods back home, if you follow my meaning.

4 minutes ago, Kieran00001 said:

 

Sad, absolutely a bash based on a ridiculous generalisation, what may be true is that any Thai woman willing to entertain you has money in her mind, but that does not translate to all Thai women and their relationship with all foreign men.

Well to be fair to him I have met more women who are the way he describes than women who aren't.  I have been very Bangkok-centric in who I look for to date, also, which hasn't helped me.  The girls I have talked to in Rayong may be "tainted" in a way because they've had relationships with other foreigners who had more money than I do.  As others have said, 30k a month does not sound bad at all to women from lower economic statures outside of the city centre.  And 30k is not the end-all, be-all for me.  It will go up.  And while I am enrolled full-time in school, I get extra money anyway.  I can use that both to get an extended visa in Thailand and also for more money to put away.  I have 28 months left of that benefit left!

5 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

 

You're thinking like farang....it's not gonna work.

 

You are not dating a woman, you are dating all her nagging family. Even a woman you're chatting with now that you say could care less about how much you make is most likely not being honest. Money is always an issue in this country. I am at the point where I truly believe that it would be completely unnatural if a Thai woman behaved otherwise. 

 

This is no way a bash, it just is what it is.

 

 

Well the female I am socialising with now knows from the get-go that I don't have a big cheque coming every month and that I have health problems.  And she's still persuing dating me more than I am her when I come back to BKK next January.  So maybe I found a gem in the rough or maybe later she will change.  It may also be too that she knows that she's a maid, who is divorced with a 6 year old kid, and her options are limited when it comes to the dating pool.  Regardless, without too high expectations on this, I like the way it is sounding so far.

9 minutes ago, poanoi said:

...at least they would agree to see you,

my gf family threatened to cut her off the family if she kept meeting me,

such was the humiliation of having white trash in the family

I grew up in a trailer man.  I know all about it.

One of these girls I dated talked on and on about how I couldn't afford to help her family.  She was earning 90,000 a month and only sent 8k to her mom every month.  I asked her why her mom didn't have any furniture in Phichit when I saw the house, and she said "well, I don't live here.  Just my mom.  If she can't manage the money I send her every month, that's not my problem.  Suuuuure hahaha.

I've been traveling to Thailand for quite awhile and even I have realised that there are many farang who aren't rich.  Take the British guys in Pattaya begging their families for fivers on paypal, for instance.  Thailand is one of those "bargain travel" destinations.  Many go there just because it costs far less to holiday there than it does in the Caribbean.  Surely some Thais must have figured it out by now that not all farang are rich.  Lastly, if you look through my post, you'll see that I am just tired of the demands of the higher class - in my country too.  Thats why I prefer Thais who earn less.  Same here.  I don't go looking through Maserati dealerships looking for dates.  I go to donut socials in my church on skid row and run down diners.  Someone with a similar life experience and more understanding is not an unreasonable thing to look for in a perspective date.

3 hours ago, poanoi said:

my dollar millionaire gf only ever gave a shit about my dick,

she was too embarrassed to have anything to do with me beside that.

a reason i both tired of her and miss her

I was married to a girl from a very wealthy family (not from Thailand, but Asian, not saying from where).  I just always thought it was funny that when I went to see her family, they still always expected ME to pay for everything, even train tickets for them to go out to restaurants, meals, and drinks.  These people easily earned 10 times my salary and had a BWM out in the parking garage in a country where most people felt it was in-affordable to have a car!  I never really cared enough to research if this was the custom with them or this was just me in particular.  Just always amused me

Also, I could care less if a girl I am dating makes 5000 baht a month or 500,000 baht a month.  I like working class women.  When I was dating Americans and Latinas, I also preferred working class women.  Theres nothing wrong with that, either.  And the girl I am talking to now could care less than I make 30k.  Absolutely care less.  Thats why I am excited about her.

3 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Sorry, but a normal middle class Thai woman will see you as a lazy farang on a 30k welfare check from your home country who she can't have a future with. Thai women ALWAYS think about future even when their actions speak otherwise. 

 

 

 

Again this is another attack on people who are poor/disabled.

Whatever dude.  You try waking up every morning with screws and plates in three major joints and several large bones in your spine that are smashed out of place.

I'm lazy.  Thats why I went and signed up to go to war when most people were out partying and looking for ways to get high.  Thanks for the input.  Don't care.

40 minutes ago, poanoi said:

do you or do you plan to get mc driving license ?

i think it makes life a tremendous difference especially for us

with horrible pain, i can not stand and wait for a songtaew

but driving bike for a while is no issue at all, and generally

it just makes me more active.

 

Yeah I've had my eyes on a Royal Enfield for some time now.  I need to actually try to sit on it for an extended period though and see how my neck and shoulders and upper back feel.  And also my hips, that is a concern, too.  My hips are actually worse since the last surgeries.  I am just a mess but I still view every day as a blessing.  Every day above ground is a good day.

1 hour ago, timberpond said:

Wow... I'm not from the states so I have not idea what's a 9-11 GI bill but a simple search and the result seem promising. 

 

https://studyinthailand.org/study-abroad-thailand-university/gi-bill-va-benefits.html

 

One thing you have to consider is 30k budget in BKK is tight. You might want to consider other province.

 

 

Yeah longterm I am looking at Rayong or Esan, totally.  The main drive to Bangkok initially is just because I have farang friends there.  And a potential date.  Also the easy access to several schools.  And that is where the pain management place is that I have been referred to.  I am looking at el cheapo gaffs in Bang Kapi and Chattuchak right now.  I know some places with pools can cost 10k+ but if you look really hard you can still find ones with pools that are within the 6-8k range.  I cannot drink because of my medications so bars are not a concern and when I am in Thailand I only eat street food, literally.  I have been going there for a long time so nothing there is really new to me.  I've just never stayed beyond a few visa runs.  The only thing new to me is staying longer and having an actual visa of some sort.  Yeah the GI bill is a killer deal.  A lot of us with disabilities use it just to have something useful to do with our lives.  There's nothing wrong with nurturing your mind, even if you cannot work.  Learning about gems would be fun for a few months, even if its not very practical knowledge.  Back in the 90s-2000s there used to be a really killer street gem trade in Chattuchak and a few other places.  Africans were selling rocks (emeralds, rubys, etc) right out of the mines they carried with them to Thailand.  But the police cracked down and deported all of those people so.. Its not what it once was.  But like I said, it would be fun.  I've always been a rock hound.  Just not a formally educated one.

45 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

 

Let's think long and hard about your hypocritical thinking and get back to us when you solve this puzzle.

Hey man I said right away that I don't speak Thai, learning a second language is hard.  I don't slam Thai people for not knowing english, I understand it.  The only reason English and Spanish are so easy for me is because of where I live and my background and the fact that they are actually very similar languages.  Thai and english are NOTHING LIKE EACH OTHER.  Even remotely!

1 hour ago, timberpond said:

You kept thinking of getting a woman that could accept your condition before getting the big step done which is to stay here legally. You can work as a part time nursery English teacher for sh*t wagers which you don't need and in turn received a work permit from the school. I think english teacher in rayong are paid 25~35k a month(I don't know, just guessing). Offer yourself for 10k a month but work as part time like 3 half days a week and offer yourself to bare the tax. After tax you should get almost nothing but no more visa runs and expensive ED visa etc.

Actually the ED visa opens a door for me that others do not have.  My veteran status does give me some benefits, I will admit.  For instance, if I could find a school that would take my post 9-11 GI bill, such as the gemology school AIGS, in Bangkok, I could potentially go to school free of charge, while earning a basic allowance for housing which is $1700 USD per month, which I can do whatever I want with, since its deposited into my bank account, on top of my normal pension.  So really, initially, if I could just find a school in BKK that would take my benefits, I would "be in," as they say.

2 hours ago, HampiK said:

The Thai ID you refer, it's only a Pink ID card, which not have the full advantages of a real Thai ID. For example the most important thing which is missing is the full acknowledge and the electric ID which is on the real Thai ID. But still it give a few advantages and I hope in future will give more.

 

You told you are just mid 30's and in the main post you write, that you tried to learn Thai for 15 years (starting with 20 years)… I think with 20 years it should be possible if you really try with a school. And not only try to speak with bargirls. Even with 35 it's not too late to start learning. But as I already wrote in a real language school.

 

About girls? Hmmmm, I have a few of Thai female friends, which have no problem with a guy earning 30'000 baht and have a disability. But what is more important for them is your kindness and how you behave. I already saw 1-2 foreigners which told they are so nice, but when I see them behave in public with their girlfriends I know why they have problem to find a decent girl.

 

Another point, is you told it would be easy to save up the 400'000 baht with an income of only 30'000 baht, which I think is not that easy, but yes it's possible.. for marriage it's not allowed to use combined Income. this is only available for retirement extensions, and this is too far away anyway.

 

Conclusion, I think everything is doable. The biggest Issue for you will be the money for your yearly extension (in case you will marry). Only take time... I always say you not have to search for a girl… you have to find them ?

Yeah I've always just done the crappy software, pimsleurs thai, audio lessons online, books, websites, and so forth..  Its not the same as a classroom setting.  However, some people have done BETTER on their own with only audio tape lessons and so forth than in a classroom.  It all depends on the individual, really.  I think I should try out a real language school.  There are some more affordable options in Bangkok thesedays.

Its funny that you mention the guys being at fault for these relationships falling apart.  I can't tell you how many stories I've heard, its actually more frequently the farang's fault the relationship fell apart, rather than the Thai girl's.  Most of my farang friends openly admit they killed the relationship by cheating while in Cambodia or bringing a bar girl back to the condo thinking the front desk staff wouldn't rat them out to their girlfriends. 

Too many come to Thailand thinking they can act and behave the way some Thai men do, with giks and everything, and you really can't, because number one you aren't even Thai.  Also you are immediately suspect to this kind of behaviour because of the way farang act in the bars etc.  Yes there are too many gold digger Thai women but there are also way too many "butterfly" farang men out there who make us all look just as bad.

I really have high hopes on this girl I am talking to now.  We are going to spend a few weeks in Hua Hin together, and we are going to see her grandmother in Rayong.  Its refreshing to go out with someone normal for a change.  All of my previous girlfriends have been bar girls who have pulled on my heart strings.  I falsely believed that they had truly changed and had feelings for me.  One woman in particular asked me for 500,000 baht in sinsod - I told her politely that 500,000 baht and I could build myself a nice house in a Northern Province!  Its not my first rodeo in Thailand - do not take me for a fool, sweetheart!  I don't have anything to do with bar girls anymore, or these fair skinned higher class girls in Bangkok.  Dark girls that speak a tiny bit of English, with working class background, are my preference now.  Its opening up new doors to me.  I have shied away from the whole internet dating scene for years, but now I am meeting some quality, real people.  Just showing up and going to shopping malls and bars - that reduced my pickings as far as dates go to bar girls and the fair-skinned high class girls.  I seem to have a real chance with this girl, I just wish I could be in Thailand sooner.  I just got back three weeks ago and I am in the middle of some complex legal work, so I can't race back, unfortunately.  But with her working as a maid and straddled with a kid in her 30s, I am sure she will still be available when I go back.

Where in the Caribbean were you considering?  I have some Cuban friends and as crazy as it sounds, at one time I was considering that country.  But the ATMs in cuba do not accept American cards.  Also, according to my Cuban friends, Cuban women are even more demanding of a higher income than Thai women are.  Couple that with the fact that they tell me that gringo prices for non-Cubans are unavoidable, and its very difficult for a foreigner to live there.  I know about farang prices, I've been faced with them myself.  But for me, having to pay 100 baht for soup, when a Thai person pays 75 baht, its not terrible.  They tell me that foreigners in Cuba pay double for even basic items.  There are other places to consider, like the DR, but I have heard that while cheap rent is attainable in the DR, groceries are very expensive.  Caribbean islands rely a lot on imports for basic grocery items, making the cost of food on the costly side.  I have discovered, however, that the climate in Thailand is much better for me.  I also have a back injury, I have two herniated discs and spondylosis from a trip down 10 stairs, almost 4 years ago now.  I was on crutches from a hip operation and the crutch got stuck in the carpeted staircase, you pretty much know the rest of this story, I am sure.  Part of the allure to Thailand is the cost of food.  If you eat Thai food (or even better, Thai street food) on a daily basis, I cannot think of a safer country to live in, as far as food affordability.  The visa run situation in Thailand situation is getting worse, from what I have heard.  They have clamped down on land border runs a lot.  You can squeeze 4 months out of a flight to Vietnam or Cambodia and two 30 day tourism extensions.  Would it be more affordable for you just to get a Thai visa privelege elite card?  I think the cheapest one comes to about 3,000 USD to live in Thailand unhassled.  It may be something for you to look into?  http://www.thai-elite.com/

5 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

 

It wasn't a frankly unbelievable story!

Actually I have met quite a few disabled people who look to move abroad and live better on their low, fixed incomes.  Its pretty common.  Most people in this demographic are people in their 70s who didn't save for their retirements and are receiving social security pensions.  However, some of us found ourselves in this situation sooner than we thought we would ever have to face it,

39 minutes ago, manarak said:

 

I'm pretty sure you will find a match sooner or later.

Regarding not being able to do anything, it looks like you can type on a computer, so if you got loads of time on your hands, you could start some websites as a hobby and side income.

Under social security disability rules I can do small part time work, hour by hour, on the computer, and that is not considered gainful employment.  I am currently investigating some of these pay by the task contracting websites.  There's a few out there where you can like, google certain topics, and then create a spreadsheet with what you find, for instance.  You can also transcribe audio to text, for example.  I am just juggling a lot right now because I am in the middle of several claims with my attorney, and its not really easy!

2 minutes ago, poanoi said:

well, i suffer unbearable pain, i came here when i was 34,

i married to get retirement visa so i wouldnt have to do visa runs,

but IO didnt extend, and i did qualify.

i left when i was 47 thinking it was going to be less painful to do a single

trip to cambodia than several visa runs to laos,

but i got that wrong, cambodia foam mattresses gave me more pain than ever before.

if i could turn back time, i would not have put up with all the visa runs,

i would have moved to caribbean, part of which belongs to EU.

if i were american, i wouldnt have to travel at all, i would just live in california or texas

I know I am not speaking to your situations, but living in California or Texas on 30,000 baht a month is not very comfortable.  Even in Harlingen, if you save money to buy a trailer, and pay lot fees, under $1000 USD a month is not enough to live on.  You'd have to have many many roommates who are very understanding, because you wouldn't even be able to pay your equal share in living expenses, unless you had like 7-8 roommate, which would probably be against trailer park rules.  And California, I won't even touch that.  Thats like the most expensive state in the whole country to live in.

3 minutes ago, manarak said:

okay - what kind of life project can you offer the women?

are you still able to do some work of any kind?

 

No I really can't.  I've got some major nervous system problems that result in too frequent toilet trips, for one.  Kind of an embarrassing thing to talk about, but its there.  Also my pain medication works better on some days than others - and on the days when it doesn't - its really really bad.  The main thing I can offer a young woman is help watching her kid(s) while she's at work.  Most people like me quite a bit, I am considered good company to be around.  I also do not think 30,000 baht is my death sentence.  My lawyer is pretty sure its going to increase.  Its just going to take a long time.  I should also be able to get concurrent social security benefits.  So within the next 1-5 years I could be at double what I am currently getting.