hhdoob

Thanks for all the comments. I guess I'd better just seriously talk to him again that I am truly offended by what he said and hope for the best. I just want to work this out with him and focus on this pregnancy and the baby coming. I have no plan to terminate it, as I believe I do have a decent job, a condo, a car and a safe environment for raising a child. 

It is very true what someone has said before that the concept of sin sod does not translate well into western cultures. And just because we both speak English (English are not native language for both of us), it does not mean that we always understand each other. Sometimes, he does not want to bring this up, as he doesnt want to upset me and stress me out at this moment. While I have trouble letting go and ending the fight too, but ll try better anyway. 

No need for endless off topic debate. Topic is closed. Thanks. 

3 minutes ago, BobbyL said:

Probably correct. 

I don't need to prove anything to anyone here. But I will just take this as compliment. 

Since we both are paying some large sum of money for the wedding - he for the sin son, and I do for the wedding party. 

I think it is really unfair that he is saying or making jokes that he is buying me and stuff like this. I told him to stop saying all this but it keeps coming out when we get into fight.

Why can't he understand that my side has paid and invested much more in this than he does? 

Why is it embarrassing to him to bring 100k baht on the wedding day when everything else is already paid for by me and my parents?

I am trying my best to understand his point, but I can't help feeling so disappointed with myself being pregnant before marriage and having to go through all these troubles. 

I still want to keep the wedding and nourish this relationship and the baby. 

I am Thai woman in my late twenties. The wedding is two weeks away. My husband-to-be is from Europe in his mid 30s. 

We've met abroad about three years ago, when I was studying for my Masters in Europe. I am not from a wealthy family, I am just fortunate enough to get the grant that covered all the education and expenses during my two-year time abroad. Long story short, I graduated and started working in Bangkok. We live together in a small condo that I paid for the down payment myself and I am paying off the monthly credit still. I've met his parents. He's met mine. Our parents have met. Things seemed to be progressing very well. And then I got pregnant. We started the "Sin Sod" talk with my parents. I told my mother about the pregnancy but my mother suggested to keep it secret to my father for now. The money talk bit was quite exhausting from the very beginning with him, as he does not seem to understand it very well. I tried sharing articles to him, explaining in many ways but it is to no avail. My parents are from the country side, do not speak a word in English and they are both teachers. My parents never said a figure, but he came up with 100k baht for the sin sod, which I could feel that it is a bit low. My parents did not say much but my father only asked that he brings the rings and a piece of jewelry for me for the wedding day.

So, my now fiancee is struggling to find 100k baht, but he has borrowed from his parents and friends. He got the rings and a necklace from his parents. 

I am frustrated because every time we talk about this, it always ends up with him nagging me about having to buy me off from my parents, and that we could use "that 100k baht" for something more useful. We will have quite a big wedding with about 200 guests coming. And I have already paid 150k in advance for organizing it. And whenever I mentioned this, he would immediately say that he never wants such a big wedding and since it's my parents wish, they should just take care of it. 

I am just so emotionally drained from all this money talk. I feel like 100k baht should not be such a huge problem given his age. He keeps saying that that he has to "buy me" from my parents like I am some sort of commodity and often jokes about bringing the cows and camels. I find it very offensive and get a breakdown everytime we fight. Then later, he would apologize but remain clear that he has his valid arguments, and he better keeps it to himself, because it would not make me feel better anyway.

I just feel like I am carrying all these burdens on my shoulders - I pay for the wedding, all the doctor visits, he even borrows 10k from me for the Sin Sod. 

In his defense, he is still unemployed. (He said it's all because he has to be here with me) He is doing freelance jobs on the internet not making that much money. He is finishing his PhD later this year, and hopefully will find a job here somewhere. He also spends a lot of money flying here and back home many times a year, since we have been together. 

It's all money problems and I can't stop thinking about it. He always doesn't like that I am Thai and that I am with him and people would look at us differently. He hates paying for me even for a meal, because it makes him feel like one of those type of men. We share everything equal. But in practice, I just end up having to pay more always. I have a full-time job and work extra jobs also.

Please help.