Nees Shah

Thank you all, Is it possible to get the chanote replaced ? 

Hi I want to buy a new car from Handa dealership. Any ideas if there are discounts available due to Covid-19 with sales numbers down? Thanks 

37 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

What a daft post, I send 23,000 , 11,500 for rent, internet, water, electric and same for pay school and food and travel to school. I think less than £10 a day for food, travel and school is not exactly high ! As for working, the child care fees would be more than the money she could possibly earn working 9am-1pm anywhere.

When I had money issues, she went and worked security on a gate so that we could make our rent. You would do wise to marry the same sort of person as my wife.

 

There are no childcare fees, no rent, no water. She only pays electricity from 40k I send every month. This comes about 3k roughly as she is at home with AC on most of the time. She goes to gym private trainer cost about 4000 bhat.  The rest is for her and then additionally some spoiling expense like on iPhone etc. 

1 hour ago, ThailandRyan said:

But he has a condo, and if he bought it after the marriage and even if in his name she is entitled to 50 percent of it here in Thailand.  Just like I was entitled to 50 percent of the price for the House I built in the North of Thailand and the Land I had given the money to be used to buy said land to build the house on.  Instead of selling the house and paying me my 50%, we decided to put it all in our daughters name when we divorced so that she has something here when she decides to return from the US.  Thai law is the same as in the west when it comes to purchases bought during the marriage.

I will speak to the solicitor to try and understand where I stand. I want her out of condo for starter. And then look to sell it afterwards even if it is at a loss. 

47 minutes ago, 473geo said:

I believe the problem originated from yourself, you write you promised her a car and house, and now she asks where is it, you come bleating to this forum because you cannot fulfil the expectation you created

 

Like many of your advisors on this thread, no real idea how to handle the expectations of a Thai woman except pay them hourly ????

Yes I agree but due to Covid, my work has not been great .. I did set the expectation which was wrong of me . 

1 minute ago, digger70 said:

Easy , there are Millions of them (Animals) Gold Diggers .

Cut your losses and Move on . On top of that Don't spend more than what you can't Afford to lose.

Yes that’s what I plan to do. I think I am being a bit more courageous after some good advise from folks on this thread . I am going to stop any monthly payments now. 

42 minutes ago, ThLT said:

Seriously, this is so over-the-top. Is this a troll/joke thread? It 97% sounds like it, but 3% looks like it isn't.

Don't you have a copy of the condo documents, at least? Come back to Thailand, sell the condo.

Avoid balconies!

I have a copy of the title deeds with my name on it. She doesn’t have anything on it. How can she change the title without showing transfer of cash to a buyer ? Surely that’s not possible. 

4 minutes ago, BobBKK said:

You wish you had more money to give...?  you can't be serious?

"apart from the money issue"?  you're having a laugh at US methinks

Money has always been an issue. She wants more and more and I don’t have. I have even paid for her boob job and few other operations along with the monthly support of 40k. When you are married, you don’t think too much about what hole you are digging. I did promise her last year I will give her car and money to buy her own house but I don’t have money right now and she wants it now 

10 minutes ago, kingofthemountain said:

Can i ask you if your marriage with her was just a ''village ceremony'' with few monks

or if you have done all the oficial process with the good papers at the ampur ?

 

And don't worry too much about your future without her, trust me at 55 (Except if you are

really ugly or with a big problem like taking 1 shower a week or semthing like that)

you can pick up all the 25-35 yo girls you want here in Thailand, there is no shortage

on the stock and it will cost you only a fraction of what are you actually paying 

(In fact why are you paying now exactly when 12 000 kms are beetwen you and your wife?

She can not give you sex nor affection, she doesn't love you at all anyway, do you feel

better throwing your money in the bin every month ? )

 

 

It was an Amphur marriage with official paperwork done. I had to get a translation done of the paperwork done as well.  She hails from a middle class family in Korat so I wouldn’t say she is your village type girl as well. 
Glad to know that I do have a chance of a future with a Thai girl. I do love the country, the food is amazing. I know it’s hard to believe that I am taking care of my wife across 12000 Kms. I have met her once in the last year as well and with the 14 day quarantine it is difficult with my work to get a lot of time off. Hope to retire one day and meet some like minded people in future. 
 

58 minutes ago, BusyB said:

 

Belongs in the Farang Pub ... joined less than a day ago and 26 posts including this atrocious  ludicrosity.

Doesn’t someone need to join at some point and start with their first post ? Or is it you that decides now who can post their personal issues or not. I am going through a serious issue right now which I am seeking help for. What’s wrong with that.  I have come across some wonderful people here in the last 2 days that have been a great help to me for my issue. 

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Maybe give 1 million THB to a young and beautiful lady. Basically you saved 2 million and you will have a young and beautiful girlfriend. Why would you give 3 million to an old women who gives you headache everyday?

She is lovely but I am 55 years of age. Why would she ever want to be with a loser like me ? 

1 hour ago, kingofthemountain said:

From the OP first post

''Hi folks, I don’t know how to say this but it straight out of Dear Deidre Column for folks who are familiar. i married a Thai girl last year, she is really kind and lovely. Before I met her, she was doing massage....''

Thank you for pointing that out. But then again, I am just ignoring the unnecessary jibes from certain folks. I have made a stupid mistake but  I was in a bad place when I met her and she did pick me up. I would still like to think she will see sense. I also understand everyone needs money but pressing your husband to depart with 3m is not the right way. It’s going to be difficult for me mentally to get over her. I do love Thailand and planned to retire there but am worried about the loneliness it will bring. I can never trust a Thai person ever anymore. Worst case I will sell the condo and stay here in Blighty. 

1 minute ago, Nees Shah said:

I guess coming from a western society, we look world in a different naive way. So my wife previously had a failed marriage and she has never once asked for a penny for her daughter who lives with the husband in Korat. I am 55 years old and yes she is 35 (looks very nice for her age). She has tendency to see red when we have an argument. I believe most Thai girls have a problem with emotional stability. Yes, you are right. She has threatened to burn the condo deeds if I don't fork out. I am just finding it hard to let go of her because I have invested so much in her and I am scared to cut losses and being alone again.  

She is worried that I will leave her for some beautiful young lady and that she wants 3 million bhat for her security.  I can see the world from her pt of view as possibly she is getting old but how can I support her every month at 40k and then bring back to her 3million. I have already re-mortgaged my house in UK to buy a condo (in my name only) so that she can live in their rent free and do not have to work at all. What more I can do as a husband?

30 minutes ago, kingofthemountain said:

You went wrong as soon as you picked your wife in one of the happy ending massages in Pattaya

i don't say they are 100% bad wife material, but most of the ''working girls'' in Pattaya have a bunch

of problems (Financials debts. multiple child, broken family often with physical abuses, mental illness, alcool or other drugs addictions and so on)

She is young at 35 if you are yourself in your 60-70

in Thailand a 35 year old girl is out of date since at least 5-10 years for any decent Thai man

''Apart from the money issue, we don't have any other marital problems''

You are kidding right? I remember you she is actually involved in an extortion attempt against

you using a blackmail with the threat to burn your condo deed 

I guess coming from a western society, we look world in a different naive way. So my wife previously had a failed marriage and she has never once asked for a penny for her daughter who lives with the husband in Korat. I am 55 years old and yes she is 35 (looks very nice for her age). She has tendency to see red when we have an argument. I believe most Thai girls have a problem with emotional stability. Yes, you are right. She has threatened to burn the condo deeds if I don't fork out. I am just finding it hard to let go of her because I have invested so much in her and I am scared to cut losses and being alone again.  

1 hour ago, RichardColeman said:

My wife of 6 years is a school teacher, well educated, and very good with money.

She has never asked me to buy a house , a condo or a car.

Being stuck away I can really only send her about 23,000 baht to support her and our daughter (due to having to stay in B and B), which she does quite comfortably with money left after rent, food, etc.

She'll budget, use stamps, pick a few baht up if she sees it. She's happy, be grew up poor and would be happy poor or rich.

In my mind this 'new' Thai lady is not the sort of person you should be with. Unfortunately I think you need get out now - but also you are about to lose half of everything your bought during the marriage - and that could mean a nice payoff for her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I tried to be a good husband sir but clearly I went wrong somewhere. As a husband, I wanted to support her financially as I didn’t want her working in massage shop. I rather she is at home than slaving away.  She is young at 35, so yeah possible she is one of the new Thai lady type. Apart from the money issue, we don’t have any other marital problems. I just wish I had more money to give . 

26 minutes ago, kingofthemountain said:

Don't blame yourself

i am sure a lot of us have done already 

a lot of stupid things in the name of love

The good point is the condo is in your name

the bad point is a girl (Pretending to be your wife) is inside

and try to use it to pressure you. 

My advice, as you are far at the moment and you can't do anything

against her is to cut all the way she could use to contact you, phone, facebook

line and so on, cut or change all of it, Act exactly as if you was dead.

Don't worry for your condo, she is not going to burn it, she is probably stupid

but she doesn't want to end in jail.

When you will be back in Thailand, your priority will be to divorce with her

good luck anyway

 

 

Thank you 

2 minutes ago, swissie said:

Seems to me that your main assets in Thailand are in form of Condo(s). Even if she tears up the original papers, the owners of any property are registered at the land-office. This way, you can prove that you are the rightful owner of the condo(s) and new papers can be issued to you by the Land-Office.

Let her know that. And also tell her, that if she destroys any property of yours, you will file criminal charges agaist her.

Your main problem is: You still love her. That may stop you from taking the necessary actions. But at this point you must realise that every Baht you send from now on is nothing but "throwing good money after bad".

To walk away from a failed relationship is "mental surgery". Painful, but you have to start now. In this case, time is not on your side.

Another girl will eventually take your pain away. With your gained experience, you will do better next time.

Thank you for your advise. Much appreciated.

2 minutes ago, geisha said:

Nées, where are you from originally, you don’t sound British at all. And what age ? If your post is true, which I doubt , I will say that you have been scammed by this woman. Cut your losses now and have nothing more to do with her. Later, go back and try to sort out the missing documents with a lawyer. Cut her off completely, you’ve been “ had”. 

At this stage, my concern is the documents for the condo as its not like what we have in UK with Land Registry. The originals are in the condo and she is threatening to burn them if she doesn't get the 3m bhat. I will need to speak to a lawyer or even inform the juristic person to see if the entry system of the building can be jammed for her.

2 minutes ago, kingstonkid said:

Don't they always.  They just don't understand that they love the money and will look after the thinking head to make sure they get it.

Thank you for the solicitor info. I knew money was important to Thai people but at what cost I didn't realise.  Makes me sad really for falling in love with her and giving everything for the best part of 3 years. 

1 minute ago, fangless said:

I thought she was working when you met her in the massage parlour!  

You know how to use the internet to troll here but did not think of looking up that statement on the internet or ask some friends, you must have met in Thailand before marrying her, if that was either believable or even true!

When in a hole stop digging!

I am not looking for a verbal fight with you and I also do not understand why you are insisting on calling me a troll. Each to their own sir!!  I am looking for someone to advise me what to do in a situation I am in. Mistakes have been made and I cannot go revert back what I did. 

1 minute ago, Nees Shah said:

In Uk, I didn't have this with my ex-wife. We both worked hard in our jobs, it just didn't work out between us. She was too busy at work and I was too.

Never had to give any money to her. I was told by my Thai wife that one has to take care of Thai lady and that's what its like in Asia. Women do not work and husbands have to work.

1 minute ago, PatOngo said:

Speaking from experience?

In Uk, I didn't have this with my ex-wife. We both worked hard in our jobs, it just didn't work out between us. She was too busy at work and I was too.

15 minutes ago, Pmbkk said:

 

If you're in the UK, you can give me the money and I PROMISE to pop back and pass it on - no detours to Pattaya ....????

Yes she is from Pattaya . I met her in a massage shop.