Letmebefree

Hi all,

I've been searching all day and can't seem to find a definitive answer so I'm hoping someone will know.

My situation:

• On my 10th extension of stay based on marriage to a Thai on a Non Imm O visa. I also have a multiple reentry permit. Current extension expires end of October.
• Separated with my wife, on good terms but for personal reasons need to get divorced asap.
• Have a Thai business with all requirements in place for either/or a Non Imm B visa or extension of stay based on business.
• Have a work permit from my company.

The divorce will be uncontested so I know I need to go to the Amphur with my ex-wife and get the divorce paperwork.

I realise that technically this will immediately invalidate my current extension of stay however Immigration won't be informed (neither myself or ex-wife will tell them unless required).

If I just leave the country and get a Non-Imm B I will get stamped in on my current extension of stay because of the reentry permit (similar thing happened to me before) which won't help.

I'd rather not have to leave the country the same day as the divorce if possible.

I'd really rather get it all handled in Bangkok without having to go anywhere, but I realise I will have to do whatever I have to do to get the outcome I need.

So my question is:

In this situation, which steps should I follow to get divorced, not have an overstay, and end up one way or another on a 1 year extension of stay based on business?

Thanks for your advice 🙂

10 minutes ago, KIngsofisaan said:

This is the poorest advice I have ever read on this forum.

 

Letting debts go bad? My god man.

 

You can run around life "what if" in the future. Foolish as no one can predict what will happen or what she will do in the future.

 

He is married, if debts incurred during the marriage, now his debt/credit as well.

 

Negotiating a payoff will still screw up someone's credit.

 

Best to let him sort it out, he is the one that will have to live with whatever decisions they make.

I don’t disagree with the sentiment, having bad debts is the opposite of everything I believe in, but it appears that legally speaking I’m not under any obligation to do so (to be clear these aren’t gambling debts but the legal advice in the link below seems to stand in this case too)

https://www.thailandlawonline.com/62-marriage-family-inheritance/58-do-i-have-to-pay-for-my-thai-wife-s-gambling-debts

54 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I think it's good that you bring this up here, I am sure you are not alone. And obviously I understand that you opened another account for that.

 

No marriage advice, but maybe people's behavior advice:

If the debts don't go bad then I guess she will be able to get new credit cards with possible new debts in the future.

Are you willing to take that risk?

Because it seems many people who spend too much money do more and more of that as long at it is somehow still possible. Like: I got away with this one, it wasn't so bad, let's get more money.

What will you do if you help her to somehow negotiate a deal and if she then, maybe first unknowingly to you, gets another card? Or maybe debts from a loan shark?

I guess you have to set very strict rules and tell her possible consequences and stick to that.

That won't be easy, not for her and not for you.

So in a way I think maybe you help both of you if you let her debts go bad - with the consequences for her that (I guess) she won't be able to get a new credit card anymore). That's not good but maybe better than the alternative.

Good luck!

I appreciate your response. 
 

I really didn’t want to get into this online, especially as it’s easy for strangers online to judge based on stereotypes. But what have I got to lose I guess?

Actually our marriage is generally very good. We’re very close in age, both relatively successful working professionals (although at this time I’m certainly the higher earner), met young and grew from nothing together. 
 

God knows nothing is perfect but as difficult as life is for anyone, my marriage is a bright spot in mine. 
 

Unfortunately she suffers with a manipulative and historically unloving/borderline abusive family who have a secret access code to her guilt buttons. It’s certainly not unique to Thailand, I have my own family issues, but I’m sure many reading this can relate. 
 

It is tearing her apart because she knows the truth and yet can’t seem to fully get away and we’ve sought professional help to help her find some kind of resolution which is why I now know the full truth. So that’s a positive. 
 

The debts are nothing major in the scheme of thing. Yes totally unwelcome and I’d definitely rather keep my money for better things but it’s not worth the cost of a great marriage and I’m not going to just dump her when she’s down - as she’s so used to. She wouldn’t do it to me I know that much. 
 

But - how do I know she won’t do it again? I don’t know. 
 

We agree, she knows I have no choice but to walk away if she does, we talk about total honesty in all things financial from here on out etc. 

But I have no rights here, no way to stop her getting the very easily available credit. I know she doesn’t want to but abusive relationships are a funny thing that can defy logic, which she certainly isn’t devoid of under “normal” circumstances. 
 

So yes, I’m scared and I don’t know what’s best to do here. 

8 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

Usually they will call her and try and negotiate but usually only after a long period of non payment. My girl has paid off 3 credit cards with around 30-50k each she had before I met her. I think the debt is sold to collectors for around 10% of its value so they are happy to negotiate down well below the principle with no interest. I believe in Thailand if they havent started legal proceedings within a year or two the debtor goes free. So....I firstly would find out if your wife has offered any collateral on the loans (your house, land, vehicles). If so you are not in a good negotiating position. If not your best course of action would be to stop paying and wait for them to come to you. And may be wrong but if you are married as far as I know debts even in her name may be your debts. Horrible situation know so many people here went through the same thing losing their homes or having to go back home and return to work in their 60s 70s. Mostly due to gambling loans. Best of luck with it all

Thanks for the reply. 

There is no collateral so that’s not an issue thankfully. 
 

I have thought the same thing about letting the debts go bad but I’m concerned at that point when you add in (I assume) interest, fines etc that it’s just getting more out of control. 
 

At the moment I can cover them but if it spirals out of control then it becomes less and less likely that I comfortably can. 

Started a new account for this one because I don’t want to embarrass anyone involved. 

Long story short, my Thai wife has run into a considerable amount of credit card debt in her own name. 
 

I’m sure she would have had more fun spending it on luxury bags and perfume but unfortunately it’s the good ol’ family financial problems/pressure story. 
 

Well, I didn’t know the full extent of it and now I do, and the extent is full let me tell you. 
 

What lead to the debts etc is a separate issue and being dealt with. While I’m sure plenty here would love to give me marriage advice, I’ll leave that to the professionals if you don’t mind. 
 

I’m in a position where:

1 - I HATE debt of any kind and want it cleared and accounts closed asap

2 - I can pay it off but it’s substantial and I’d like to pay the minimum possible

I am well aware of debt settlement procedures abroad and know of others who have gotten 40-50% of credit card debts written off in Thailand so I know it’s possible. 
 

My question is, does anyone have any practical advice based on experience how to approach this in Thailand?

- Call each one? And say what?

- Write a formal offer letter? And if so, to whom exactly? My experience writing to anyone in Thailand is it’s usually ignored. 

Your help is appreciated. As much as this is something I can and will deal with, it’s stressful and painful not knowing how to approach it.