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Rocket

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Posts posted by Rocket

    Schools In Udon

    in Isaan

    Posted

    Hi,

    My wife (Thai) is looking at moving our kids from their current school in Nong Bua Lumphu (Petchabundit School (not sure on the spelling)) to one of the schools in Udon Thani.

    Our kids are 10yrs (daughter) and 8yrs (son).

    I have heard good reports for St Mary’s but this is an all girl’s school and the wifey want the kids to stay in the same school. There is a likelihood that the kids will need to board at the school and return home on the weekends as we live approx 90kms SW of Udon.

    Any forum members can recommend a good school were English is included in the curriculum?

    Regards,

    Steve

    Chippy / Joiner Needed.

    in Isaan

    Posted

    Greetings,

    Anyone knows of a decent woodworker who specializes in teak work, I live 40kms SW of Nong Bua Lumphu. I have some woodwork remaining to finish off the house the stair well, concrete uprights and the TV / living room needs to be finished off with teak panels.

    Any forum members who have had similar work conducted with satisfactory results please let me know.

    Regards,

    Steve.

    Connecting Flights To / From Uth

    in Isaan

    Posted

    I thought I'd post this in the Issan forum as you tend to get more sensible replies here.

    Here goes with the domestic flights back to DMK. Thai airways recommed 3.5hrs transfer time between airports (in either direction).

    Has anyone got any actual times its taken to transfer between connecting flights from UTH to connect with international departures from BKK or vice versa arriving in BKK then transfering across the city to DMK to connect with either Nok air or Thai to UTH.

    The reason why I ask I'll be arriving on an Emirates flight arriving just after Mid day...... options Nok air around 5pm or Thai at 8pm (from DMK).

    Air Asia (from BKK) is out as I have a large amount of luggage >35kg.

    I have been told the taxi takes about 1hr and the fare is around 500Bht.

    Any information would be apprecaited.

    Rgds

    Rocket.

    :o

    Building Home In Baan Thepkeeree

    in Isaan

    Posted

    Small world, yes I live in Baan ThepKeeree. I've been in the Na Klang area for some 10 years now.

    I'm about 2kms from the main junction on the left hand side - turn right at the junction (school and AC repair shop on the junction) if you are travelling from Udon going towards Erawan. The house is on the left side just past the juction to the Bang Fai ThepKeeree location.

    Most of the locals know the house Ban Falang - Khun Steve.

    I'm currently overseas working in Libya but I'll be home late Feb.

    PM me if you like.

    Rgds,

    Steve (Rocket)

    Clubs In Udon Thani

    in Isaan

    Posted

    Hi,

    I'm trying to find out what sort of clubs are available in the Udon Thani area for my kids to do something over the weekends and school holidays.

    My daughter wants dance or piano classes.

    My son wants Taekwondo or Judo classes.

    Any information from forum members would be appreciated.

    Thanks.

    Marmite

    in Isaan

    Posted

    Anyone know where I could buy a jar of Marmite in Udon?

    Tried the usual places Lotus, Big C & Tops Supermarket in Robisons..............

    Nothing.

    Rubber Plantation

    in Farming in Thailand Forum

    Posted

    My GF and her family have just started a rubber plantation near khemmarat.  We buy the trees for 5 baht plus transport costs from Surat thani.  The time between planting and producing rubber is about 6 years.  best time to plant is at the start of the wet season.  Last week there was a seminar in Khemmarat on rubber producing and 250 people turned up for it so I think it is a growing industry in this area.  Try the dept of agriculture for more info

    Thanks for the info' any ideas on the soil typres for getting the best results.

    Any web pages on this??

    Regards,

    Rocket.

    Welshman, Frenchman & Englishman

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Welshman are out walking along the beach together one day.

    They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish" says the genie.

    The Welshman says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Wales." With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in Wales was forever made fertile for farming.

    The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country. Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye,'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France.

    The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." The Englishman says, "Then I want to fill it up with water."

    Senior Management

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel dies of thirst.

    He's crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

    He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie.... But this is no ordinary genie. He is wearing a Senior Manager ID badge and dull grey suit.

    "Well" says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes."

    "I'm not falling for this.,” says the man. "I'm not going to trust a Senior Manager."

    "What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!"

    The man thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.

    "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food an drink."

    ***POOF***

    The man finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

    "OK, kid, what's your second wish."

    "My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."

    ***POOF***

    The man finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems. "OK, kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"

    After thinking for a few minutes, the man says: "I wish that no matter where I go beautiful women will want and need me."

    ***POOF***

    He is turned into a tampon.

    The moral of the story?

    If a Senior Manager offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached.

    Why We Love Kids

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.

    "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.

    "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

    You did WHAT? ! ?" The teacher exclaimed in surprise.

    "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

    2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."

    "What?"

    "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out."

    Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?"

    "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

    I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

    Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

    "WHAT!"

    "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

    3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into

    mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

    The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in

    and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's

    sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

    4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was

    tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when

    he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

    The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.

    "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

    A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:

    "The big sissy."

    5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the

    children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little

    girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the

    pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"

    The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,

    "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

    6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.

    She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"

    I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."

    "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

    7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.

    Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

    "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

    "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

    The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

    The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two,

    that son of a bitch is four?"

    After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught

    them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

    8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

    The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

    One little girl raised her hand and said,

    "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"

    The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

    9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."

    Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

    The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"

    She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

    10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"

    Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."

    The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,

    "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

    11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.

    The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

    She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

    Romantic Winter Vacation

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"

    She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up."

    He does and that warms him up.

    After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! My hands are really freezing!"

    She says again, "Well put them here between my legs and warm them up."

    He does, and again that warms him up.

    After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night. When he returns, he again says, "Honey, my hands are really freezing!"

    She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?"

    Aircraft Crash

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    An aircraft is about to crash. There are five passengers on board,

    But unfortunately only 4 parachutes. The first passenger says, "I'm

    Jonny Wilkinson, the best flyhalf in Britain. The English need me, it

    would be unfair to them if I died". So he takes the first parachute and jumps.

    The second passenger, Graca Machel, says, "I am the wife of the

    former President of South Africa. I am also the most dedicated woman in the world."

    She takes one of the parachutes and jumps.

    The third passenger, George W. Bush, says, " I am the President of

    The United States of America. I have a huge responsibility in world

    politics. And apart from that, I am the most intelligent President

    in the history of the country and I have a responsibility to my people

    not to die." So he takes a parachute and jumps.

    The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a ten

    year old schoolboy, "I am already old. I have already lived my life, as a good person and a priest I will give you the last parachute". The boy

    replies

    "No problem your popeness, there is also a parachute for you. America's

    most intelligent President has taken my schoolbag..."

    An Ugly Man

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.

    "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.

    "Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know I live by the railway, well on my way home last night I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway to cut a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top!"

    "Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky sod. Was she pretty?"

    "Dunno... never found the head!"

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