Toughsituations

On 7/4/2023 at 3:47 PM, Yellowtail said:

Why can she not get a job while the id is at school? 

She would have roughly between 9am and 3pm to work. She says she can't find a job that will allow such a short shift at these hours.

 

On 7/4/2023 at 6:36 PM, save the frogs said:

is it possible that you spend too much time at work? 

Well, someone in the house needs to work. I could actually have 2-3 hours with her per day if she wanted, but most of the time she's glued to her phone or sleeping. She has no interest in pretty much anything we could do together: exercise, movie, 2 person gaming...the only thing that can get her interest is food.

 

19 hours ago, Tazmo said:

Try to understand that and seek professional help. That’s what I would do. There are hundreds of Such Services in Thailand.

That's great to know, could please name a few?

10 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

You have a potential custody battle, so take any evidence of her Gambling at all hours etc.

I could set up a camera in the living room and catch a 24h non stop marathon, but wouldn't this evidence give me trouble as well? For allowing this to happen in my own house wouldn't I be held liable?

20 minutes ago, Reginald Prewster said:

Why she started gambling?

I fear because she had dreams she believed she could not reach with you together... 

 

Over the past 10 years I got her everything she wanted. She went from having pretty much nothing to having everything she wanted. Bought the isan land, built her house there, got a good amount of gold, car, half-farang son, no need to work, money to buy most things she want. The only things left from her wishlist would be a new Mercedes Benz and a big house in the city - which are coming in the near future if I keep hope in this relationship.

8 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

Probably the husbands of the friends are having the same problems, maybe talk to them

I don't want to get the others involved, having my wife hating me is enough, I don't need her friends mad at me as well.

12 hours ago, HauptmannUK said:

 

I would suggest you take all possible measures to stop this. Try to deny your wife access to money. Find her something to do outside the house.

She doesn't have access to my money, just what I give her. Unless she is building up debt somewhere I don't see her losing money (wish I did).

10 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

Does she also drink while playing cards ?

 

Temple for a few days ?? a week ?

 

She sounds like she takes any form of criticism badly, but unfortunately you will have to go there. 

 

 

 

 

No drinks, just the occasional snack. I'm even surprised they eat so little, as we know these Thai ladies are very serious about food, but when playing like that even the food is neglected.

She does the occasional temple stays every few months, doesn't seem to help a bit. 

We had a talk today and it did not go very well. She said I am crazy for reading these internet reports and that it's nothing like her, as expected she got very defensive and doesn't believe she is doing the family any harm.

We've been together for over 10 years, I think in the past 5-6 years (soon after our son was born and she stopped working) she started occasionally playing cards with a few friends.

For years this has been a very minor nuisiance, once a month she would have some friends over and they would sit and play for a few hours. But this year things are getting out of control, she now plays several times a week and in most recent episodes the play session lasted for over 24 hours NON-STOP. Sometimes it happens at our house, sometimes at some of her friends'. 

I don't know what to do, she became almost useless at home:

- won't cook anymore, always orders online

- won't clean anything, just waits for the maid once a week

- although I work almost all night, I often have to step in and take our son to school because she is busy playing or tired from long session

- on her free time at home, she plays a card game on her phone, can stay all day in bed doing this

Every time I bring this up she gets very defensive and if I insist on talking she will fight. She says it's a harmless hobby and she does it because she has no job. I don't actually see her struggling with money but this scares me, I've heard of people losing cars and houses because of this.

I really wanted my family to work out but she's making it look like it won't happen. I don't want to get rid of her, I want my son to have a structured family. What do I do with her? Guess I could pay a babysitter to take care of my son and get her a job?

Is there an intervention for this kind of issue without involving police? I feel that if the police finds out all it will happen is that it will cost me money to sort the issue and in one week they'll be back playing again.

This makes me so mad, I work my ass off to provide everything she will ever need and that's how she repays me.