mapletree

Thank you. I saw a reference to them somewhere else so it's good to get confirmation. We called and they have told us about a school the provides hone care aides. Thanks for taking the time to answer, I appreciate it.

Hello,

My Thai mother-in-law has had several strokes in recent weeks. The strokes have affected her memory but not her physical abilities, though we're afraid she could be unsteady on her feet at moments. She usually lives in Chiang Rai but came to Chiang Mai for medical care at Suan Doc hospital. She's at our home in Chiang Mai home now and a number of family members are here, but in a few weeks, she'll have one daughter keeping an eye on her. Eventually, the two of them will return to Chiang Rai after several follow-up medical appointments. (My wife and I will return to the US in a few weeks.)

We're looking for resources in Chiang Mai --or Chiang Rai--of recommended caregivers. They don't have to be nurses, just companions with some medical knowledge, to help monitor my mother-in-law's health and well-being and to allow my sister-in-law time to be able to get out of the house. We're found one resource in Chiang Rai but would like recommendations if anyone has needed to use such a resource. Thanks for any help.

Hi--

We have a leaky roof in our house and need recommendation of someone to fix it. I'm not in Thailand right now so I don't know how big the leak is, I just have heard about it from a family member. Does anyone have a good person or company to recommend that I can tell my family members to call? We're in the San Sai area. Thanks for any suggestions.

Our child was born in the US in February. Her mom is Thai but a legal permanent resident in the US. We're traveling to Thailand for several months in January-March to see relatives but aren't sure which passport our baby should show at the airports each way. If we show the US one both ways, do we just go to Thai immigration to get an extension for after the first 30 days? (I have a US passport but am only staying under 4 weeks. Yai is coming back with mom and babe.)

We'll be primarily in Chiang Mai if that makes any difference.

Thanks for any help.

I'm not sure if anyone can help with this but thought it's worth a try. I'm trying to help my mom out as she's 83 years old and getting caught up in trying to sort this out.

My mom recently donated to Cornell University Asian Art Museum two nang yai shadow puppets that my dad bought years ago when he lived in south Thailand, and two little ceramic figures that represent a mom and her baby--they are called suwancaloke or something like that--that also may be quite old.

She moved from the house where these items were being kept and we took them to the museum without an appraisal first with hopes that they would accept them into their collection and thereby preserve them for others to appreciate, but now she has the dilemma of trying to determine even a ballpark estimate of their value so she knows how to proceed.

She doesn't know the value and to fill out tax forms to get the right amount for a deduction, she would need to have them appraised. She wrote to a Thai professor at Cornell that we had met when we took them for donation, but he said he's not sure that anyone in the US could properly appraise them. Now all we have are photographs of them because they're already at the museum but I think my mom at least wants to know a general idea of the amount that they might be worth. Getting an official appraisal may be impossible without someone flying to Ithaca, but does anyone know an appraiser or contact at a Thai cultural institution or museum who could help give an accurate ballpark estimate to my mom so she can figure out if she should just write it off or try harder to get an official appraisal?

I know this is being done backwards. That's where we're at. Thanks for any help.

Hi--I don't see much about this in the pinned and past threads but tell me where to look if it is.

My Thai girlfriend won a green card and we are back in the US. She may have some money from a family member coming that we could use to help put a down payment on a house in the US. If we were to wire it to the US from Thailand, is there a limit to the amount that can be wired? Are there US tax consequences, regulations or any fees associated with transferring money to the US? People to notify (besides the bank that a wire is coming)? How about from the Thai side--any regulations, fees? Anyone familiar with this kind of transfer? I know mostly money is flowing the opposite way.

Thanks for any help with this.

There was no way to write anything about being partnered with a Thai citizen but not married. My only choice was "married" or "not married." Since getting married is not a legal option for me in Thailand or my home country, yet I've been with my partner 8 years and counting (might as well be married--we are in every way except legally, and we would be married legally if we could be), neither answer satisfied. Wish you'd added a question to capture the gay/lesbian folks. I'd be curious to see that statistic. Or for folks partnered with a Thai citizen but not married--for straight or gay.

I apologize, this topic is boring even to me but this is often the easiest/best place to get quick, useful information.

My aunt has some wool pants she wants reknit (I guess this is pants made of good wool thread but wearing out...? I'm not a clothes person so not sure). I need some pants taken in several sizes. Any recommendations in Chiang Mai for either of these? Thanks for your help!

Here in Thailand, mostly I miss family and friends. Also miss hiking and camping in the lush and wild US Pacific Northwest. Miss television that I used to watch with my girlfriend after work. (We don't get cable here and I am enjoying the vacation from English-language tv at the same time that I miss it. It's good for my character. )

I miss some specific foods. Baking can be tricky. I had to doctor up some Thai molasses to make gingerbread cookies a few weeks ago. Not quite the same but close. Goofed the calculation of ounces to grams a little so got extra buttery pie crust the other day. Live and learn. It still came out OK.

But what I already miss the most about HOME is stepping out of the plane at Don Muang at midnight, feeling the warm air with that scent that takes me back to being a kid here in Thailand. (Same airport for 40 years, who can beat it? Loved it.) When I'm in the US, I miss fresh kanoon, another childhood taste/smell that has me hooked. My girlfriend goes into withdrawal (reverse culture shock) any time we spend significant time here then go back to the quiet separation of so much western culture. Me too, but a little less because I grew up mostly there. We end up seeking out the Thai temples or Asian communities more than usual to make the transition.

So. Just focus on what I love about here, drink it up while I can, then when we are there, the same. As a friend likes to say, wherever you go, there you are.

Just as an aside, the 'Hawks got robbed many times by the refs in that game, pretty gruesome for them.

It's true. It sucked. The Hawks should have won. I delayed moving to Thailand til after the game and was ready to wear my Championship t-shirt onto the plane but the refs ruined my plan.

Oh well. It's only football. Maybe in another 20 years the Hawks will get back there. The Bills broke my heart 4 times over (that REALLY sucked) so Seattle still hasn't come close to that.

We felt it also. Guests from California estimate a 5.0. Anyone else? How can we find out the epicenter?

I logged onto this forum because I'm looking for ways to deepen my understanding of Dhamma but am realizing that this forum may be more distracting from the path than helpful in showing me how to follow it.

In a strange way therein lays a lesson. What your doing is to apportion blame when the fault may be elsewhere. No one man (or forum) is above the Dharma. If you find other points of view a distraction then you, as I, have a long way to yet travel.

I didn't say that other points of view are a distraction. Oddly enough, I think what I was trying to say is that some writers rejecting others' views or implying out that THEIR point of view was The Right One seems out of keeping with my understanding of Dhamma--that, as you say, nothing is outside the Dhamma--including Tarot cards. If that sounds like blame to you, then I think there has been a lot of blaming going on here. In fact, your post pointing at my post would be an example of the same. But I really don't know how far you have to travel as you do not know about me. I really can't assess that on-line from a few emails and maybe couldn't even from longer in-person conversations unless your energy were striking--as the Buddha's was reported to be. So good luck to you in your journey.

I'm open to many perspectives, including accepting that some people may find Tarot cards or other tools a way to move forward to higher or deeper levels of awareness.

This is one of those times when I read the comments with interest but know that little of this applies to me despite 8 great but unmarried years with my partner who is a Thai woman. The issues are so different for gay and lesbian people. No option of legal marriage so no pressure to have a sanctioned ceremony--but not an *opportunity* to have one with the same fanfare and acceptance either.

I guess I wanted to add that there's a whole group of Thai people, many in Thai/farang cross-cultural relationships that don't fit into this conversation even if some of the same emotional and cultural elements might be present. There's no way to legitimize gay/lesbian relationships in Thailand to make others see their validity legally.

The Buddha taught that any religion or philosophy must contain the elements of the Noble Eightfold Path if it is to lead to nibhanna.

Chownah

I don't think Buddhism has the monopoly on enlightenment, nor the 8 Fold path the only path to the top.

A deck of cards probably doesn't have these elements.

A deck of cards is just ink printed on paper. Like the Buddhist scriptures - ink on paper.

Like the pictures, the words are symbols.

Yes. There are many ways to walk the path. I learned as much about Buddhism alone in the woods as a wilderness ranger as I have by studying Dhamma formally. There are many, many forms of signposts or aids to travel along the way, and not so narrowly defined as I'm seeing here. At least that is my experience.

So, you think that the Buddha defined the path too narrowly?

Chownah

No, I think that several people on this thread are defining the Buddha's teachings too narrowly--my understanding and direct experience indicate that to me. I'm not saying that I'm right, but that is what I have experienced.

I also feel that comments with the tone of yours--like, "let me catch you out in what you're saying"--are a notable element present in this conversation. Why is that? It feels like there are several folks on this thread trying to show their depth of knowledge in a superior way to others here. It feels distracting and out of keeping with, again, my understanding and direct experience of what the Buddha taught.

I'm not a Buddhist scholar. Most of my understanding comes from direct experience, especially of the natural world, though with some direction from teachers through books and personal guidance. I logged onto this forum because I'm looking for ways to deepen my understanding of Dhamma but am realizing that this forum may be more distracting from the path than helpful in showing me how to follow it.

The Buddha taught that any religion or philosophy must contain the elements of the Noble Eightfold Path if it is to lead to nibhanna.

Chownah

I don't think Buddhism has the monopoly on enlightenment, nor the 8 Fold path the only path to the top.

A deck of cards probably doesn't have these elements.

A deck of cards is just ink printed on paper. Like the Buddhist scriptures - ink on paper.

Like the pictures, the words are symbols.

Yes. There are many ways to walk the path. I learned as much about Buddhism alone in the woods as a wilderness ranger as I have by studying Dhamma formally. There are many, many forms of signposts or aids to travel along the way, and not so narrowly defined as I'm seeing here. At least that is my experience.

Four of us want to travel on the Mekong to Luang Prabang in mid-January. My 83-year old aunt with a bum hip but still in shape enough to win sailing races is one of the 4. My sister who is only moderately adventurous and likes comfort is another. Safety, sun protection, adequate--but not exceptional--comfort, and a good boating experience are primary. I want to see the Pak Ou caves also.

I got the name of the Luangsay company for 2-day trips but it's super expensive at about $350 USD each. Staying in a lodge, some food and several scenic stops are included. The price might be OK if it's really worth the cost difference (have to see it as once-in-a-lifetime family outing to make it seem worth the price) but that's what I'm wondering--is it really exceptionally better than other companies?

A friend quoted me a price of 2500 baht each for a 1-day trip but with no stops for another company. Includes lunch. The price is good but I don't know much else about the boat.

Seems like there are many other companies running this trip, too.

Has anyone traveled with a company they recommend? Can you tell me about it with the factors I named above in mind? Thanks for any advice or recommendations.

My understanding from talking with a friend who is a nun and from reading about it is that knowing the future, talking to spirits, reading others' minds, etc. (supramundane knowledge) are accepted as phenomenon that may occur as one travels the path toward greater mastery in meditation but they are not the destination. The practitioner shouldn't be drawn in or distracted from walking the path by such any more than by awareness of sense phenomenon (hearing, seeing, touching, etc.). They may be signs of spiritual development but they are not the path or the "end" of the path.

I think tarot cards can be a tool to present supramundane information to others when one has those skills or abilities. My partner's aunt is quite adept with tarot cards and uses them in a very reverential way, firmly within the context of being Buddhist. She uses them for good, to help others.

I think it's kind of funny about being upset that monks won't wai back. Dude, among other things, monks won't even touch something I'm touching. If you can't handle no wai-ing, try that custom on and see how you do.

Camerata wrote:

This would have been an unusual event at any time, but in this case as soon as I sat up I knew what had happened - after I'd lost balance my mind had just let go. A month ago I'd read Phra Farang, in which the author mentions how his mind let go on a couple of occasions. A week ago I'd finished one of Buddhadhasa Bhikkhu's books which has a section on letting go at the time of death. And that same morning I'd been reading one of John Blofeld's books.

So it seems that even in something as mundane as a fall, the mind can let go involuntarily when it is the appropriate thing to do. This experience has given me an added perspective on what Buddhadhasa had to say about letting go at the time of death:

________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________

I had a dream like this recently in which an elevator I was riding in was projected out into the air and I knew that I and others in it would crash and die. It became very clear to me that this was the moment that I could slip into oblivion (as when I parachuted in awake life for the first time and lost awareness for several seconds) or stay present and mindful, control my mind as I do in deep meditation. In the dream I was choosing to stay aware into the moment of body-death. I think that is what you are writing about, yes? The point is to control the direction of your energy as you would, say, if you were rafting in white water rapids. You have to focus, concentrate, and stay with it. Challenging but do-able with practice, na? No doubt one gets better at it over time.

It's not about not having sex that I found suspect, it's taking up time on the ladies forum about it. I see that pumpuiman and fruitbatt alluded to this before. Reading between the lines for me sounds like this:

"Mom, I am such a good little boy! Look what a good little boy I am! So handsome and decent and pure! Do you see? Do you see what a good little boy I am?

"Oh, mother dear, protect me from those brutish, rude men for I am not like them! I am a delicate sensitive flower that must not be plucked before it's time.

"Oh, what a good little boy I am!"

I am not being entirely kind in making my point, but this is what I hear. This forum is supposed to be for women supporting women, right? Or stuff that comes up for women that they want other ladies' support or thoughts about.

This thread strikes me as a guy taking up women's attention and indirectly seeking approval. It reminds me of a dynamic in the US where people of color often say that they'd rather deal with the overt racism of the South than the smile-in-your-face-but-stab-you-in-the-back, hidden and sometimes subtle racism of the North. Maybe I'd rather have the blatant sexism with no pretense than the guy who thinks he's being good but sucking up just as much of women's energy. Go start a forum for sensitive guys supporting sensitive guys (or whatever you want to call it) instead.

I think a lawyer would call that "assuming facts not in evidence". Women's Studies major?

No.

Just a woman living in a world after about 7000 years of mostly male ascendency.

I'm a trained mediator and have had extensive practice listening for what people are not saying directly so I can help them work through conflicts with other parties. That doesn't mean I got it right in this case--I'd have to check it out, and generally I wouldn't be so blunt in working a case as I was here.

maple,

slated is christian,and he is like many i met in america in the past that he is strict christian and they really do not have 'relations' before marriage; the same as most orthodox jews i know here in israel... they really do wait until marriage.... i just remembered as he had asked about christian associations in thailand a long group of posts ago...

and btw, my 19 yr old daughter has been dating an ethiopian traditional jewish guy for a year and they are both, yes, virgins.... as he is and she is still 'waiting for the right one' ... it does happen u know.

bina and anon

It's not about not having sex that I found suspect, it's taking up time on the ladies forum about it. I see that pumpuiman and fruitbatt alluded to this before. Reading between the lines for me sounds like this:

"Mom, I am such a good little boy! Look what a good little boy I am! So handsome and decent and pure! Do you see? Do you see what a good little boy I am?

"Oh, mother dear, protect me from those brutish, rude men for I am not like them! I am a delicate sensitive flower that must not be plucked before it's time.

"Oh, what a good little boy I am!"

I am not being entirely kind in making my point, but this is what I hear. This forum is supposed to be for women supporting women, right? Or stuff that comes up for women that they want other ladies' support or thoughts about.

This thread strikes me as a guy taking up women's attention and indirectly seeking approval. It reminds me of a dynamic in the US where people of color often say that they'd rather deal with the overt racism of the South than the smile-in-your-face-but-stab-you-in-the-back, hidden and sometimes subtle racism of the North. Maybe I'd rather have the blatant sexism with no pretense than the guy who thinks he's being good but sucking up just as much of women's energy. Go start a forum for sensitive guys supporting sensitive guys (or whatever you want to call it) instead.

I suspect that the OP may well be struggling with his sexuality as well.

Or maybe I maintain some values that western society now sees as outdated?

I'm insulted by your comment

"Insulted" ? Hmmm. A little homophobia to go along with whatever else is going on.

Maybe it's just me, but as a gay woman, I'm not really believing or trusting this guy. My BS meter is going off. Maybe not the story--maybe that happened (?)--but coming into the ladies forum to write about it comes across as weird to me. Slated, don't you already have any women friends you can ask if you're such a sensitive guy? The photo is over the top. Too much not ringing true for me in this whole thread.

A few years ago when I was in Thailand for Christmas I was trying to explain about it to my partner's Thai friends. The whole idea that Jesus was born of a virgin impregnated by a spirit got some hearty laughs. Very bizarre sounding belief to non-Christians. There were other parts of Jesus' story I'm forgetting just now that elicited the same response--like, "how funny that anyone would really believe THAT!"

Depends on what you were taught growing up and then held onto, doesn't it?

Thanks, this was all very helpful!

Is there another word for ' Fat ' in English apart from couch potato or big hef... ( don't know how to spell it )

Plump, pleasingly plump, heavy, "larger", zaftig, chunky, overweight, big (like "she's a big woman")--I'm not saying any or all of these will win you friends but they are alternatives to "fat". But it's hazardous talking about weight with farang.

I saw the list of recommended profesionals and services but wonder: can anyone recommend a dentist from personal experience? My partner needs a root canal and--I'm not sure what you call it--cosmetic overlays? for two front teeth injured as a child in a bumper car accident (ouch! childhood is full of risks). I see the recommended dentists in the list but wonder if anyone has direct experience of them or can recommend a specific dentist at one of these clinics.

Thanks for any help!