djb687

I agree. We've now committed to going to Thailand once every 6 months so she doesn't feel homesick again

You are right. I do believe I am the one who should be trusting her. She missed her family, was there the whole time and returned to the UK now. She explained she was busy with family and didn't have time to talk/text all the time.

She did video call me today again for only 5 minutes but showed me her mother and they were in her house.

That's true. My previous post a year ago she expressed desire to go to Thailand to visit and I ignored that desire, which then resulted in her going now. What rattlesnake said about one holiday to Thailand a year seems like it would prevent the homesickness - how often do others go?

My understanding is its not respectful to use your phone with the elders and other family around?

Good to know.

She has a job in the UK. She uses her money for herself and family. I pay the house + bills. So there's nothing to cut back on...

Why do we always have to jump to conclusions of divorce - I am simply trying to navigate the dynamics of a marriage which involves different culture.

She's with her phone all the time in the UK - always has been from day 1.

Since my original previous post a year ago we did have a good year, where things improved. It was only recently last couple of months she became homesick, which others tell me would be normal if you didn't go home for over two years - I've no reason to doubt she was homesick, but something I learned the hard way since I never had a relationship with someone who has family abroad. I already asked her before she left if shes happy and she told me clearly she loves me and will return after visiting family. If what a previous post says about family come first, husband second or last - that's ok because I understood that dynamic before we even got married. I am simply trying to understand how it is for others? And that's what I have been trying to understand. Thanks

What in her village?

Hi All, I am looking to understand if this is usually what you expect being married to a Thai woman going to visit family. I've never been married to someone who has family in another country so not sure what to expect on the communication level side of things. We have been married for two years and she hadn't been back to see family for about 2.5 years and she said a couple of weeks before Christmas she feels homesick so booked a ticket to go home and spend time with family in Isan (I couldn't go with because I had family commitments in the UK). The whole time she's been there she's barely spoken to me, the odd 5 minute video call here and there telling me she's busy with family - but the usually love you etc has been exchanged. Is this normal when they visit home to be so busy they can hardly speak to husband back home?

@still kicking Does your Thai wife consult with you before going or just say "i'm going next week" and goes? I think you are right when you say "Let her go if she does not come back it just means she does not love you." thats a good test of relationship I suppose.

I would have expected us (as a married couple) to talk about going to Thailand, not for her to just decide she's going... or what is the general experience of other couples?

This is a genuine situation I am facing right now with my wife. Can you explain why I am the child? I have honestly been wondering if I have been overthinking her behaviour here, hence the post here.

She has a job so she's paying for the ticket herself (she said this) and she claims she's buying a return... even if she proves she got a return, what does that say anyway?

She does have some friends in the UK but she never goes to meet them as they're a 4-5 hours away, I suppose I could help her to see them. We only have 8 years age difference between us. We always agreed in the future we would move to Thailand but its too far away for her I guess.

I know she misses food, despite cooking Thai food every single day she says its not the same as in Thailand.

We were together for a year and then married for a year.

She's lived here for about a year now. No children together and there is intimacy but not very much like once a week.

So what do you suggest I do about this? Clearly talking to her doesn't appear to work.

Me and my Thai wife has been together for 2 years living in the UK, we recently moved to a bigger house and now she appears to spend a lot of time in the bedroom on her own while I am downstairs, almost like she’s avoiding me, this has been going on for months now. She also does the same when my two older children come to stay at the weekend and they think it’s weird she doesn’t interact with them at all. She has also recently told me she’s going to Thailand to party with her family for two weeks, just dropped it on me, no discussion whatsoever - didn’t even ask me if I wanted to come. When I talk to her about these things all I get is the standard “it’s up to me”, “my life” responses. Are these normal behaviours within a Thai/Western marriage? It certainly isn’t something I would say was normal in a Western marriage.