jimlad

The most ignorant thing I've ever heard!!!

How is it Ignorant? I've been to Thailand many times and have even come close to marrying a Thai. They're one of the most xenophobic races on planet earth!

Ahhh yes, the fact that you have been on holiday to Thailand a few times now means you are a qualified analyst of Thai culture, what a joke. And as for nearly marrying a Thai, would this person happen to be the girl you spent 4 days with and then decided you would like to marry? Again, what a joke.

Actually, I've been to Thailand more than "just a few times" I've been beyond the tourist traps where farang do not dare to tread. I spent a lot more time with her than just "four days" before I decided that I wanted to marry her thanks very much!.... I went to see her remote rural village in Issan where children under 6 would scream in terror when I came close as they had never seen an anglo-saxon before. I met her Parents, Sisters, Brothers and friends etc... pretty much the whole village.

I guess my assumption that all Thai's are one of the most xenophobic races on the planet could be a tad exaggerated, however if Issan culture is anything to go by.....

And also, you probably dont see thousands of asian guys with loads of money compared to you, usually very drunk, not seldom also loud and obnoxious, thinkin they own your local pub, grabbing the "local" girls in front of your nose.

If you saw this year after year, i am sure some uneducated local farangs would start to get pissed at these rich, drunken, obnoxious know-it-all-asians too.

Yep, they call them red-necks in the United States and bogans in this country.

The difference, of course, compared to Thailand is that when these individuals here get all worked up from seeing rich, yuppie, foreign tourists getting loud, obnoxius and grabbing local girls and consequently start throwing their weight around and try to pick a fight with the tourists, no decent law-abiding male in the same establishment will help them and will in-fact treat them with the same contempt that the rich foreign tourists would treat them with.

In fact their fellow countrymen here would be most embarrassed by their actions and would more often than not, be the first to call for Police assistance in the above scenario.

I said FOREIGN country - that usually means one you don't live in

No sh*t, however if you'd care to read and quote my entire post, you wouldn't have missed the all important point about basic moral principles and concept of right and wrong being little different from culture to culture would you have now??

And please... Spare me the politically correct, do-gooder, lefty bullsh*t about Thais being so different that concepts of "Right and Wrong" don't come into it... I've heard it all before!

The most ignorant thing I've ever heard!!!

How is it Ignorant? I've been to Thailand many times and have even come close to marrying a Thai. They're one of the most xenophobic races on planet earth!

The difference of course is that these Thais knew each other whereas you don't know the guys in the pub or the neo nazis. Different scenario.

How is it a different scenario? Where is the evidence that all the Thai guys who turned on the Estonians knew each other??

In any case, If my mates were kicking the sh*t out of two foreign guys in the street, it's OK for me to join in because I KNOW them???

Your logic is totally flawed!

Britmaveric beat me to it on this one. I don't understand why everybody is slagging the Thais.

Who's slagging Thais? Not all Thais are like the cowardly and morally corrupt mob here on Walking Street that decided to join in with their mates and beat the living sh*t out of some farangs simply because they were farangs.

This was NOT an unprovoked attack, these idiots decided to go back to take them on, and got what any reasonable person over here would expect.

So in other words, if you are a foreign tourist who is seriously wronged by a Thai and the Police will not help you, do not expect to stand up for yourself without getting annihilated by a bunch of Thai men who decide to attack you for no other reason than you are a farang and they are sticking up for their Thai mates? Hardly paints a pleasant picture for prospective tourists to the LOS does it now??

Yes they are cowards, and yes 5 on one is the norm, but would you go looking for a fight in any other foreign country and not expect the locals to back each other up?

Let's examine the logic of this for a tick... Sweetchariot, I do not know what country you come from or your racial background, nor do I care to be honest. However, hypothetically, if you went down to your local pub/bar and saw a bunch of guys who were from your own race and lived in your area beating the living sh*t out of two Thai men, would you join in and land a few punches and kicks on the Thais yourself without knowing the reason for the altercation?

Hypothetically if I see some local Romper Stompers (Neo Nazis) in my area beating some Asian guys to a bloody pulp should I join in because they are the same race as I am, regardless of the fact that I don't share their political convictions or racist tendancies, or even know the motives behind beating them up? Because let's face it, there is little or no difference between this scenario and what occured on walking street that night.

The only difference is of course, the morals or lack there of. i.e. In the above scenario rather than help the Neo thugs, I'd be calling the Police or at least try and help the Asian guys getting beaten by trying to break up the fight etc. Where were the Morals on Walking Street that night?

And please... spare me the bullsh*t about cultural differences between Thai and Western Society. Every cultural background has at least some basic moral principles and ideas of right and wrong.

I'm actually sick and tired of Farangs sticking up for Thais in issues like these as if they were a poor, downtrodden persecuted race! It's about time Farangs stood by one another instead of looking at it from the predudiced and xehophopic Thai viewpoint. After all, they stick together regardless of whether they're in the wrong. So should we!

[The incident, which is now a murder investigation, occurred only meters away from the Tourist Police Unit a

Who, no doubt, being the corrupt, xenophobic and predjudiced f*ckers that they are probably turned a blind eye...

and is now being investigated by Pattaya Police and the Tourist Police as the hunt for the attackers continues. We understand that as of Monday Afternoon, no arrests had been made in connection with the attack.

Surprise, Surprise!

Anyone have any idea if they actually employ western Nurses/Doctors in Phuket Hospitals?

Do young Thai buddhist females usually spend a vocation where they have to go to the temple and meditate and serve the monks for 2, 3, 4 weeks at a time without contact from the outside world, or is this strictly Buddhist males?

Anyone interested in a bit of Non-professional Private Investigating in Patong? Merely involves going to a bar in Bangla road and trying to chat up one of the waitresses there? Will supply name and photo of whom in e-mail.

Please PM me if interested.

Sorry, forgot to answer your question.

you said you dont have a lot of time to waste, is there a reason for that ??....I am about to marry my girl and I am considerably older than you are.

It's because I'm sick and tired of being single. It's been 6 and 1/2 years since I had a failed relationship with an Anglo-Aussie girl that was, for all intents and purposes headed toward marriage before it ended up on the rocks. I'm almost 33 and I've never even tasted marriage. I want to settle down and raise a family, and I'll go to any length to accomplish this goal.

Dont you just love it when you meet a Thai girl everyone assumes that you met her in a bar or that she is of ill repute...trust me you will get that from a lot of people back in Sydney also....it can be a pain.....

Very true...

I also cop flack from my married friends/work friends for going over to Phuket in the first place. Without any proof whatsoever they automatically assume that because I'm single I go over there for the sole purpose of having a cheap root-fest.

There the very same sort of people who want me to get married, but they also want me to marry an Anglo-Aussie girl who is not attractive, all because; "Let's face it, you're no Brad Pitt yourself and hence, can't afford to be picky!"

Loong, I don't believe that you are raining on my parade, and I appreciate the fact that you are trying to warn me, however I've heard all the negativity before.

Believe me Loong, I am proceeding with extreme caution. I've been the victim of Bad relationships in Australia, which is why I'm looking for love Overseas. I get the picture that Thai women, (In this case, Kai) will be more loyal, honest, devoted and faithful than Australian women and I only hope to God that I'm right!

At the first sign that she's not genuine, don't worry, I'm pulling the plug. As I've said, I've little enough precious time to waste on women who aren't genuine as it is.

Cheers,

Jimlad.

This sets alarm bells ringing! I am afraid that this is a classic ploy. It puts you on the defensive and fits precisely with every bar girl - farang relationship.

It goes along with...

I don't like Thai man

Up to you

I not want your money, I only want you

etc etc

So in other words I should dump her now because, as you put it.... it's consistent with a ploy that's characteristic of every farang-bar gir relationship?

I'm sorry, I stand by my conviction... why would any Thai girl that just wants to milk money out of me give a rats rectum if I was sleeping with other women at home?

For me, there's just too much evidence that she is genuine. I've spoke to her older Sister three times, and her parents etc. all are excited that I'm comming to see them in June. She's told me about Tahi wedding customs and been totally up-front and honest with me about the dowry etc.

Okay, she's not a bar girl, What does she do for work and where did you meet her?

I assume that you haven't slept together, a Thai girl would never sleep with a man for love after only knowing him a few days.

If you think that the posters here are cynical, it's because most have been in exactly the same situation as you. The difference is that it is in our past, so we have a very good idea how your future will turn out!

Believe me, happy endings to these stories are very few and far between.

Sorry but that's the way it is.

I'm not going to reveal her occupation or where she works in here as you'll always get the odd yahoo and moron saying "I slept with your chick last night!"

Actually, we have slept together, but I fail to see how this makes her any less genuine just because it is a deviation from the norm. Culturally, most Anglo-Australian women are supposed to be God fearing Christians that would never dream of sleeping with a man whom they have only known for a few days either. However it does happen. It doesn't make these Anglo Aussie girls any less "nice" or "genuine".Sexual desire is a strong human emotion, it doesn't matter what culture you are from.

No offence, but I hope your future prediction for my relationship with Kai is wrong.

The best piece of advice is always think or ask yourself "would I be acting like this if this was an Australian girl and we were both in the same country.?"

The chances are that you would not even consider marrying an Australian girl after knowing her a few days, so why does being 1000's of miles apart make any difference?

Don't get me wrong, I am proceeding with extreme caution. However, even in your Australian girl scenario, If i felt the same way about her, I would have exactly the same hopes.

because she has been married/had a child before, no dowry should be paid, Thais would not be expected to pay a dowry in these circumstances and neither should you.

BB

Kai was in a previous relationship with a Thai man who left her shortly after Kai's daughter was born. Kai tell's me that she was not married to this man, so does the dowry still apply under these circumstances?

I'm giving you the benefit of a very strong doubt that this thread is genuine.

I suggest that you familiarize yourself with the visa requirements applicable for entering Australia.

Forget about the Spouse Visa at this stage, chances of a successful application being lodged are rather remote.

Start by reading the Australian Immigration site.

Particularly the "Visitor" section.

Despite what others have stated in this thread, you should be successful in obtaining a Tourist Visa.

You don't need to prove that your relationship is genuine and the short time that you have known your girlfriend should pose no barrier to a successful application.

She, and/or you will need to prove that you have sufficient funds to cover all costs during her stay in Oz, provide a valid reason for her to return to Thailand and guarantee that all visa conditions will be strictly adhered to.

Proving a genuine relationship will become a necessity with any subsequent Spouse Visa application, so I suggest that you take some time and read through the numerous threads on the subject in this forum.

In this regard you should start gathering evidence to support your claim that this relationship is genuine and continuing.

I also strongly suggest that you take your time in building your relationship through a series of tourist visas visits to Oz. This will allow you to both size each other up (so to speak), and give her time to explore Australia.

I assure you that my situation is very genuine....

I thank you for your advice and I pray that Kai and I will work out.

Assuming that this is not another Troll thread.

No it's not. I wouldn't waste my time in here if it was.

Unfortunately you have about 0.01 percent of happiness

I sincerely hope that you're wrong.

I know you wont listen. You are blinded by "love". But this is your situation.

1. You met your girl in a bar, and paid for all the time you spent with her in Thailand (bar fine and your "daily donation")

I paid no bar fine for her nor did I pay for the time we spent together. I bought her lunches, dinners, a bathing costume and a small gold chain with a dolphin on it as a "Going away present"

2. She never asked for anything....."It's up to you"

She has never pressured me into anything. She's even stated that if I can't afford to send her money or buy her things it's O.K. at the end of the day, she still wants to be with me.

3. You offered to send her money...your idea...every month.

No.

4. She told you she wont work at the bar anymore....or at least wont take "customers" home.

You're the one that's assuming she's a bar girl.... she isn't.

5. Sometimes her cell phone is "off"...or "have to charge battery, no work when charge battery"

She's never offered this excuse for not answering her mobile or it being switched off. She rarely has it off and always usually answers even when she's out with friends.

Actually, she's more worried of me being unfaithful to her... She's more or less accused me several times of having another lady at home here in Sydney, to which I've gotten the silent treatment until I've convinced her at great lengths and endless, precious phone time that this is not the case. I'm sorry, but this doesn't fit in with your usual bar girl - farang financial relationship. Why would a Thai girl who only stays in contact with a foreign man for money give a sh*t about whether or not her farang boyfriend back in Australia is getting a bit on the side??

I have been friends with many girls of ill repute in Thailand. Some have two or three falang on the line doing exactly what your doing.Again I know you wont listen.......but tread carefully. I know you think it is " impossible" that your girl would do such a thing. It is not.

It is a bar girls goal. Her co-workers do it. She does as all bar girls do.

Think with your big head.

I would take the advise of another poster here...pay her a surprise visit. Or hire a private detective in Thailand (cheap money) to try and see if she will leave the bar with him.......it's done all the time.

Again....you wont listen...your situation is different.....you "really" fell in love in 4 days, and sending her money was your idea.....right?

Good Luck.....be careful

1. She's not a lady of ill repute, you're only assuming she is.

2. I am listening, why do you think I initiated this thread?

3. I love her dearly, but I am proceeding with caution, don't worry. I've had many failed relationships in the past, at 32 I'm not getting any younger. The slightest notion I get that I'm wasting my time with Kai, and I'll be bidding her "Goodbye" I can't afford to waste much more time on women. But at this stage, all vibes and evidence that I'm getting would suggest that she is genuine

1....known her for a month and spent 4 days together....What can you tell us about her ? Whats her most favourite food, who is her favourite Thai singer, when is her and her daughters birthdays, how old are her siblings if any and what are their names, what is her favourite perfume, what size shoes does she wear, does she have any allergies, what are her parents names and ages, what type of shampoo does she use (not the brand name), what are her hobbies, If you cant answer any of the above then you dont know her well enough to marry her and that is only a short list. Now you have tried that...make up a list of what she really knows about you....good heart and hansum man can be discluded. Even in June after 6 months talking on the phone everyday...what will you really know about her ?

Her favourite foods are anything with chicken, Spaghetti Bolognese and Issan Curries. Her favourite Thai music appear to be a ban called Pon Pui (not sure If I spelt that right) But she also likes Scorpian for a western band, her favourite song being "Wind of Change" Her birthday is August 23rd, but I have yet to find out her daughters birthday (However, I have seen photos of her daughter) She has two older brothers one older sister (Whom I've spoken to on the phone) and a younger sister who's still at school. I have yet to find out her perfume and what shampoo she uses. Her shoe size is 39 (don't ask me what that is in Australian women's shoe sizes) I'm not sure what her allergies are yet Her parents are in both in their 50's (Again can't remember their names) But they work on a farm in Kalasin. As for hobbies, she likes listening to music, jogging, going out with her friends, talking to me on the phone and shopping.

2.... Why does the mother want you to marry so soon, Monks can pick several auspicious days in each month for a wedding. maybe mum sees you as a potential cash cow already. If Kai is willing to wait then that is a positive sign and probably a great idea.

I have no idea. At first, Kai told me that her mother didn't even believe that I existed let alone wanted to marry her. So Kai asked me to call her Sister in Kalasin and speak personally to her mother which I did. (Very difficult as her mother hardly speaks any English) Kai has already told me that she can wait for me to marry her, and that it's not essential that we marry in June.

3....I would advise against getting a loan to pay any dowry and before you even begin to negotiate a dowry I would read some of the posts here regards dowries. You should get a good insight into how much etc....make today the first day you start learning about Thai culture and the Thai way of things, because if you plan to go ahead with Kai then you will need to know these things.

I'll be reading posts on this forum and I've ordered a book of the Internet called "Thai fever"

4....You would find it difficult to get a tourist visa for her at this stage, it is not impossible but unlikely. You have to demonstrate that you have known her for a reasonable period of time and provide proof of this. This means photos taken over a period of time, phone bills, receipts if you are sending money already, letters, birthday cards sent etc...She will have to apply for a visa herself only at a VFS agency (The official visa office not a streetside travel office), if you are sponsoring her, your details will need to be on the application. The VFS agency will not arrange the airplane ticket for her. The VFS do have an office in Phuket.

5....At this moment you really dont need to know about spouse visas....once married and when you are in a position to lodge such a visa application then come back and ask us and we will assist in what way we can.

The emotional highways are littered with the bodies of men who have gone to Thailand for a holiday, fell in love and rushed into marriages. None of these men were fools, just ask them....they were all ripped off by these terrible Thai ladies...But none of these men would have married a western woman after spending just 4 days with them....Ah but you say..I love her and she loves me....yep! heard that before....but lets not fool ourselves here...you know in your own mind what the answers are....dont be blinded by love for loves sake...because love is only one aspect of a successful relationship. Nothing can replace the time taken to nuture and feed a relationship.

I have been in a situation similar to yours....it didnt work out.

Thank you for the rest of your advice. Don't worry, I'm proceeding with caution but I still love her dearly and I hope this relationship does work out.

Only spent 4 days with her and you want to marry her?

Personally I think you should take your time and get to know Kai , marriage is a big step and you barely know the lady. Why the hurry???

We both love each other very much, I'm not exactly in a hurry to marry her, and she has told me that it's "up to me" when we get married, but her mother has suggested that we marry in June. Kai has also told me before that according to Thai custom, her parents seek the advice of buddhist monks as to when the best date (day, month etc) to get married for luck and prosperity purposes for the marriage.

Hi,

Over a month ago I met a beautiful Thai girl named Kai while I was in holiday in Phuket. We spent 4 days together and We've fallen in Love. I've since come back to Sydney and we keep in contact every day by phone. We both want to get married and I'm comming back in early June next year to meet her Parents in Kalasin. I've spoken to her parents (briefly because they don't speak much English) and her sister on the phone and they all seem nice people. Kai also has a 2 and 1/2 year old Daughter from a previous relationship. Kai tells me that her Mother wants me to marry her in June, but I'm not sure that I should jump in so soon. Kai has already told me about the unfortunate Dowry that I'll have to haggle with her folks and I've already let her know about my probs in getting the funds for the dowry. (I'll probably end up having to get a personal loan)

She also wants to come and spend some time with me in Sydney before I come back to see her and her parents in June. She's already gone to the Visa office in Patong to get a quote for a Visa and air-fare to Sydney. The head boss of this office (I've already checked them out and they are legit) has yet to contact me with a quote for Kai's visa and air ticket to Sydney. Ultimately this will not be a problem (Providing the combined Visa and air fare aren't outrageously expensive)

So I guess the question is, where should I go from here? I'm insanely in-love with her and want to marry her, but I'm not sure of Spousal visas once we're married etc.... How difficult is it to obtain these? Will I have to go home, wait for Kai to obtain this visa and then come back for her? How soon after Kai obtains a spousal visa can she work in Australia? (I'm guessing she'll have to find some employment...) There's only me, my mortgage and my single income so far, Bit tricky if she wants to bring her daughter out here straight away. Will Kai be covered by medicare instantly once she obtains a spousal visa? What about her daughter?

Sorry about all the questions guys, but I'm totally new to all this!