pentri

After spending a considerabel amount of time in Thailand and having a serious relationship with a Thai lady, these are some of the impressions that I have formed while there.

Most relationships between Thai ladies and the foreign men in their lives are predicated upon money. For the most part, there is no other reason that would prompt a young woman to take up with an "older" man(in many cases a considerably older man). Why would she defy her god-given instincts for romance other than to defer to the harsh necessities of life? Although there are all sorts of women pursuing foreign men, some with a basicaly good value system, as well as some who are unscrupulous, even the most decent of them all are concerned about the monetary side of such a relationship. Thai romance with farangs is an economic affair. Essentialy, the vast majority of men who have found their Thai loves have purchased them. The air of romance in these relationships is just a veneer of conventions.

Knowing how women think, I can say that if they really are in love with some guy they will give themselves body and sould to him for free! That is how their hearts are. Great looks and a hot body work their magic- over men or women! On the other hand, for great looks or access to regular sex, men will essentialy offer up their sould- so why not their hard earned money, too? These relationships need not be bad to enter under such circumstances, I think, as long as you honestly know what you are letting yourself in for, and understand that you need to lay out a game-plan that will protect you or, at least, limit your liabilities.

My relationship did not work out, and I had some good ingrediants to make it work: eventhough there was a twenty five year difference in age between me and my girl, I am young looking for my age, have an athletic body and am decent looking, have an education and, most importantly to a Thai lady, I have money. I just refused to accept to play the game under someone else's rules. My girl was very beautiful, had a great personality and was fun to be with. Her only problem was that she was obsessed with spending: wanted new jewerly all the time, new car(not happy with the old new one we had, wanted a purchased home(instead of the rented beautiful four bed-room we had in a beautifill neighborhood). She had a maid and nice cloths. Originaly the family wanted sin sodt, but I refused to pay sin sodt for a divorced woman with a two-year-old. The family relinquished the idea after they saw that I treated the girl well and that we seemed to be very happy together. The fact that I agreed to support the father might have helped( Anyway, his support was not a significant burden to me).

In these relationships you may oftentimes find women who adhere to the concept of marital duty- even though they do not love thier husbands: they will stay loyal and try and be a good wife and mother, but the farang has to live up to their standard of economic duty. Some of these women are of low intelligence, some of very high intelligence and craftyness, so there is variation in what a man can get away with.

Be realistic about all this and you will be able to get a better of idea of what you will be able to tolerate just to have her in your life. Remember, you don't have legal rights there, for the most part. You buy, you lose. The general adage in Thailand for farangs is, "Don't buy anything there that you can't take with you, or that you are not prepared to lose". Sound harsh and cynical? Life is not a bowl of cherries! Also, remember that in Thailand there is a high divorce rate among farangs married to Thai women: some of it due to the farang tendency for habitual inebriation, but oftentimes it is due to "failed economics".

Good luck!

Well, be this all as it is, the bottom-line is wheather one should stay or leave. If you are in a good to great financial position, why leave and why complain? Just enjoy. The real problems are for the Thai people to face.

Gentlemen, I am so happy that I discovered this site becuase I have learned a great deal from you all. I met a beauty while I was visiting in LOS and decided to retire in a few months and try and make a new life with her there. Many of you have given me much food for thought. I still plan on returning shortly, but now I have a perspective grounded in the realities of your experiences. Men of our relative ages, do we need to live under such lack of security? How much agravation do we want at this point in our lives? I do not have any financial worries, but I have to think-out what my life would be with my lady, living under such precarious conditions. Going through what you all are lamenting about is already disturbing my peace of mind. Life is an adventure, and I am just going to go with it, being prepared now to shift direction at the drop of a hat.

In response to your comments, I was exploring Malayasia's new program, Malaysia, My Second Home. They are offering a 10yr visa(renewable), come and go as you please. You can OWN YOUR OWN PROPERTY(LAND AND HOUSE OR WHATEVER). They have some good deals. This may give LOS and Philippines some competition. It is a Muslim country and it is less libertine than these other places, this may be a good thing. And, they speak more english there than they do in Thailand. Thanks again.

Gentlemen, I went online here in NY to see what papers I needed for the three-month visa which I need for my upcoming trip to LOS. In addition to this, I called the consulate to verify the information on what I needed, but the clerk would not answer any of my questions; he only asked me if I was American? After I said "yes", the clerk told me not to worry, "just come down and we will give you a visa." I was taken back by the unprofessionalism of his replies, and went off to the consulate with all the documents listed online that I supposedly needed. When I arrived, he asked me for my passport and the application form, I gave him everything I had, and he returned everything else, saying you don't need these other papers. Then the clerk asked me how much time I wanted, "sixty or ninety days?" This was the same clerk to whom I spoke over the phone, for sure. When I told him that I was coming back in December, he said, ok, just come back. 'Will I have a problem, I asked?' He said, "Mr., you worry to much!" "Just come back". Moral: It is what it is. Be prepared for anything.

I will start my retirement in January and I am coming to live in LOS; as a matter of fact, I will be there next month to lay some ground-work. For what it is worth, here are some insights from a newbie:

I would never plan to go anywhere for an experiment in living , especially to a foreign country , unless I had plenty of money to back me up. If you are an older person, you shouldn't go anywhere without planning for the security of your health, either. Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. I do not wish anyone unhappyness in life, but too many people just don't understand how easily fortune can change from one moment to the next. The situation , especially for expats , in Thailand is just one small example. Anything can happen. The decrease in the value of the US dollar- is this a good thing or a bad thing? Depends upon how you look at it. If you are an american traveling outside America, it is not good. If you are a European, it is not good either: it is more difficult for Europeans to sell their goods because of the high valuation. Americans, on the other hand, can sell there good at a big advantage- they are cheaper! The European politcal powers can't wait soon enough for the Americans to do something about their currency. What does this all mean? It means that the dynamics of the global economy, including Thailand is very volatile. The value of the Chinese currency is also another major issue for both Europeans and Americans. Making predications here is like trying to guess the stock market. Even the people who are really in-the-know(and I am not one of them, for sure) can't really predict anything: many of them talk like they know what is going on and what is going to happen- but nobody knows until something really happens.

One thing for sure, though, the days of the lower economic eschelons of farangs is going to come to an end. They will be priced out. So those of you who have the cash, have a good life; those of you who don't, better start planning; those of you who are young saplings, better just stay home and plan out your future.

Well, the devaluation of the dollar is not good news, for sure. The situation is complicated. Besides the export market, the Thai economy has nothing of any real substance going for it; and the export market may start to bleed. America is so bogged-down with the Islamo-fascists that they have, for some time now, been neglecting South East Asia(Singapore has been telling the US about this sense of neglect but to no avail). This has played into the hands of the Chinese, who have been pouring money into Thailand to prop-up its economy. This is one reason the Bhat is up. But for several months now, many foreigners have been losing interest and faith in Thailand: The threat of insurgency in the south; the worsening moral reputation of the country in international eyes; the unfounded speculation in real-estate; the xenophobia; the poor quality of building construction; and the political instability has been contributing to foreigners rethinking the viability of LOS as a place to live. The situation does not look encouraging for expats living in LOS right now, but the future is not as bright as one might interpret for Thailand. Thailand's big brother, China, may wind up like Japan did in its' crash: the Chinese "miracle economy" is not precidated on a develope domestic economy; it is an export economy and the chinese are doing nothing about it. They can't go on the way they are with their currency value. When it falls, guess who will fall with it? Just sit tight and wait. This is a roller-coaster ride to beat all.

Gentlemen, it is a wonder that with all the obnoxious tourists circulating in Chiang Mai that there has not been any reported cases of violence among them. Insults to a person's race or nationality can bring a person's blood to boil faster than anything I know. How sad to think that some people can't just go to a wonderful country like Thailand and be brought to peace by the experience! It disturbs me to know that these kinds of people(I'd like to say "creatures") are out there. Lets hope that if and when these troubled souls do provoke a violent response, that a sojourn in Thai prison teaches them a lesson they will never forget.

What amazes me about this topic is the absolute stupidity displayed by some of the comments. If people feel compelled to discry someone else's behaviour, they should find fault with the behaviour, not the nationality. I know people from many, many different ethnic groups, european and non-european; and there are those among each who are disgusting, as well as those who are sterling human beings. Lets not forget: there is rampant bias among europeans. Many italians, spaniards and french(latins in general) who look upon northern europeans as low-class, spit-drewling barbarians; many irish and brits who think that latins are knife-wielding greasballs; and many germans who still believe that everybody in europe is inept but them; and, while we are at it, lets not forget that there are too many mohammedans who think that all non-believers should die, including women and children! For those of you who like to criticize people based upon nationality, why don't you do it in your own countries and leave those of us who understand what the word human respect means alone!

Hi, Gobs! This is Pentri. I was wondering if you know of any good italian restaurants that you like to eat at in the city? I was there in December and January, but, for the most part, just ate Thai food. I will be returning to Chiang Mai in August and would like to check out a good italian place to eat at. I will be coming there to live and the only reservation I have is missing eating italian food; but I have some arrangements with my brothers sending me some staples so I can cook for myself. One good thing, though: at least the asians are noodle-eaters. I can easily adjust to their diet.

Sorry to read about the loss of your pet. Until three years ago, I never owned a pet in my life. A lady friend of mine asked me if I wanted a bird that her friend was giving away. The bird, a cockatiel, was only six months old. I took the bird in, despite other friends of mine telling me that I was crazy for doing so because I would never care for it. Well, I became so attached to the bird that I was caring for it as if it were my child. After a year with it I decided to purchase a male bird to keep her company while I was out to work or away for a few days on business. That was about two years ago, and she still hasn't taken a liking to him. She despises him and is only happy when she is out of the cage and hanging out with me. Someone told me that the bird formed a bond with me and that is why she doesn't accept the male. Sorry, I went off on a tangent! I know there is another pet out there waiting for someone who can be attentive to its' needs. Find it and enjoy its' company.

As long as there is money in logging, people will rape the earth, so I don't see deforestation coming to a halt anytime soon. As long as the Thai government encourages its' people to be pimped out for profit, rampant tourism will continue. This is life: anthing goes to make money- especially when you don't have any! Better to concentrate on stealing a little happyness for yourself while you can, because the march of "progress" can't be stopped. There are too many people in the world and it just keeps getting bigger and bigger, more and more unmanageable. One good thing about being in this generation: we can still enjoy the last of the beauty that this world has to offer- a good part of it will die with us. I feel sorry for future generations.

Listen, anywhere you go in this world you need to travel with a dose of suspicion or cynicism: I lived in New York City my entire life, born and raised, and nothing ever happened to me like that. I worked and hung-out in some very dangerous neighborhoods- nothing ever happened to me. I was on a business trip to Arizona and while staying in a luxory golf resort I was mugged as I walked from the sports bar to the main lobby(they were two separate buildings). We humans are not angels- we are primates, and the most debased form of animal life in the phylum. Not everyone is bad, for sure; there are very nice people in the world- but there are predators amongst us. It pays to remember this.

Does anyone know of a place there in Thailand where you can escape the heat of summer- other than an airconed room in the house. I know that in the Philippines you can escape to Baguio or Tagaytay, where it is much cooler.

I spent a year there in Rizal, in Antipolo. The people are, on the main, very nice, sincere and good humored. The food is not as bad a some people here have stated. I have had some very delicious cooking there. As a matter of fact, I am very familiar with many styles of philippino cooking. Many restaurants are not good, but, hey, in New York 90% of all italian restaurants outside of manhattan aren't any good either. You have to explore and don't be apt to judge to quickly. The women are sweet, but I don't find them to be as pretty as the Thais. Crime is a major negative of living there. I did go to one beautiful place there, but I can't reveal it, otherwise paradise will turn to hel_l sooner than later.

Hi to all! I am new on the site, so forgive me if my questioning sounds routine. I plan to retire in June and am considering a move to Chiang Mai. Would a retirement income of 50,000 US be sufficient to live very well there? Someone told me that it is expensive to live there. My girl wants to return to Thailand to live, but wants to live in Chiang Mai. She is from Kon Kaen.

It's hot, even hotter standing at the Stadium trying to get a glimse of Zidane for 4 hours :-)

How hot is hot?